Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation
by DeraldSny
Summary: A group of 'concerned citizens' band together to form a 'villainous' group to keep the CPUs on their toes... in the midst of their plans, however, an event will occur which will change Gamindustri forever... First Contact!
1. Prologue- The Instigation

It's time for a brand-new Neptunia story! This takes place shortly after the Demon Lord Etna arc of 'The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy'... but this story won't spoil the events of that arc... yet. Also, part of the title is censored to avoid spoiling an early plot twist. Hope you enjoy!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Prologue- The Instigation

In an underground bunker in an unknown location somewhere in the world of Gamindustri, several sinister figures were shuffling about, covered in shadow so no one could recognize them...

"Attention, may I have your attention please," One figure raised his hand, a little taller than the others, with small horns on his head. The other figures immediately ceased their shuffling and muttering to focus on him. "Thank you. Now then, I believe that we finally have enough members to initiate operations, so at this time, I hereby announce the official inception of Ho-Hum!"

"Yaaaay!" One figure jumped for joy, clearly a child in size and stature, a few other figures cheering and/or applauding.

"About damn time!" another shadowy figure spoke, her voice clearly female. "Now I can finally get my revenge on those damn CPUs!"

"Watch your language!" a man spoke up, his angular shadow suggesting he wore armor. "There are children present, remember?"

"Yeah, CPUs aren't dams!" the kid spoke up, "they don't hold back water!"

_"*A-hem!*"_ the horned shadow cleared his throat loudly, causing the argument to cease. "Now then... as I have said to many of you before, our aim is to cause trouble for the four CPUs that currently rule Gamindustri. They have become lazy, complacent, and are not keeping up their physical fitness! Therefore, it is up to us to disabuse them of the notion that this peace will last forever!" Cheers were heard in the bunker. "However, I must stress that this is NOT about insurrection, nor rebellion against our beloved goddesses! This is about keeping them on their toes, holding their feet to the fire, so that when a real threat _does_ come about, they will be prepared to meet it head-on, instead of flailing about helplessly as they try to regain their lost levels!"

"Yeah, yeah, let's get this show on the road already!" the woman from before yelled.

"So what's our first evil plot gonna be-chu?" a small mouse spoke up beside her.

"I have already sent Generic Ninja #25 to fire the opening salvo, so to speak," the leader explained. Turning to the armored man, he then spoke, "Generic Soldier #20, is your operation ready to proceed?"

"Yessir!" Soldier #20 saluted. "That CPU won't know what hit her!"

"Excellent! As for you, Underling #3, I do have an assignment for you, in Lowee."

_"Lowee?!"_ the rude woman cried in protest. "You're sending me to cold, slowly Lowee?! No freaking way!"

"Yeah, I don't have my winter coat grown in yet-chu!" the rodent agreed.

"My, my..." the leader's voice became low and threatening. "It seems _someone_ is not very grateful that I rescued them from maximum security... perhaps you would like to return to your nice, warm, 8'x8' stone cell?"

"Urk!" the woman sweat-dropped. "O-on second thought, Lowee's not _quite_ that bad this time of year..."

"W-what she said-chu..."

"Better," the horned man nodded. "Now then, this what I want you to do... blah blah blah blah..."

_*Meanwhile, in Planeptune City...*_

"Man, am I starved after doing that Quest!" said Neptune, main character and CPU of Planeptune. Stretching a bit, she said, "At least it's Pudding Tuesday today- 30% off any flavor!"

"Is that why you were so eager on getting the Quest done today?" queried Nepgear, CPU Candidate and younger sister to Neptune. "So you wouldn't miss out on this pudding deal?"

"Well, duh!" Neptune affirmed with a grin. "Besides, these guys know me... I'm one of their best customers!" She promptly pushed her way into the greasy spoon diner, a bell chiming as she and Nepgear entered. "Hello, guess who!" A few voices called out to their goddess in recognition.

"Good afternoon, Miss Neptune, Miss Nepgear," a casually-dressed server greeted them. "I assume you're here for our Pudding Tuesday offer? We have a brand-new mystery flavor for you to try..."

"Sweet! I'll take it!" Neptune proclaimed happily.

"I'm not really hungry," Nepgear deferred. "I'll just take some water for now..."

"Right away! Go ahead and take a seat, ladies," the server gave a brief bow before heading behind the bar.

The two promptly sat at one of the tables by the window, Nepgear prompting, "So, you come here all the time? I don't remember being here..."

"I took you here once," Neptune replied, "But that was just before that junk with us getting beat up by Magic and tied up in lewd positions for three years... not surprised if you blocked it out."

"Oh, goodness..." Nepgear shuddered from that awful ordeal, before attempting to take her mind off that by looking around the diner, trying to see if anything looked familiar. "Hmm... it almost rings a bell, but..."

"Here we are, ladies!" the server from before interrupted them, sliding a glass of ice water in front of Nepgear, while a plate of purple-colored pudding was set in front of Neptune. "Enjoy!"

"Oh, you know I will!" Neptune exclaimed as grabbed her spoon and dug in. After a few bites, however, she slowed to a stop...

"*slurp* Does it taste bad?" Nepgear inquired curiously, setting her water down.

"Bleah..." the CPU licked her lips and smacked them a few times. "Hey server, what's in this pudding, anyway?"

"I'm glad you asked," the young man responded. "It's got a little bit of sugar, a little bit of tapioca, and lots and lots of... _eggplant."_

_"EGGPLANT?!"_ Neptune's eyes shrank to circles as she dropped her spoon and clutched her neck. _"Gahhh!_ Eggplant pudding...! I've been poisoned...!" She promptly collapsed off the chair and sprawled over the floor. "Cough... Everything's... going dark... Nep Jr... I leave Planeptune..."

"Neptune, _noooo!_ Don't leave me!" the CPU Candidate as she knelt by her stricken sister. Thinking quickly, she pushed two fingers down Neptune's throat, inducing her to vomit out the pudding. "How could you serve her- _huh?!"_ Her eyes shrunk to circles as only a white-dotted outline remained where the server had just been standing! "W-where did he...?!"

"He went out the back!" the manager yelled. "That's guy's not one of our workers!"

"What?!" Jumping to her feet, Nepgear ordered, "Call an ambulance for Neptune! I'm going after him!" She promptly jumped over the bar and ran through the door...

"Right away!" the old man promptly grabbed the land-line phone...

"Sorry! Excuse me!" Nepgear apologized as she shoved past the chefs, running through the kitchen and back room, slamming open the door to outside...

...But she couldn't see anyone in the rear parking lot. "Huh...?" Being such a wide open space, there weren't many places to hide... Looking to her left, Nepgear saw a dumpster full of trash, as well as a garbage can sitting nearby. "Wait... why have a garbage can there when you can just throw it in the dumpster...?" Frowning, she promptly marched over to the can, whipping off the lid with a cry of _"Ah-ha!"_

...but there was nothing but rotting fruit, meat and fish heads, the horrid smell soon hitting her nostrils. _"Uuughh!"_ the goddess cried in disgust as she pinched her nose shut. "Guess he's not in there..." Quickly slamming the lid back down, Nepgear stepped away to breathe in some fresh air. "Looks like he got away... guess I better go back and check on Neptune..." Shaking her head at her failure to catch the culprit, the CPU Candidate headed back inside...

But a few seconds later, the side of the garbage can opened, the server poking his head out, a clothespin on his nose. "You'll have to do better than that to spot a ninja, Lady Nepgear." With that, he ducked back inside and shut up the can, which then sprouted a pair of legs and jogged off...

_*To be continued...*_

Don't worry, Neptune will survive... but will the other CPUs become victims of Ho-Hum's 'sinister' aspirations? All I'll say is, Vert and Blanc better watch their backs! See you at Chapter 1! ;)


	2. Chapter 1- Mouse Traps and Bear Traps

And here's the first chapter! What awaits our beloved goddesses?

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 1- Mouse Traps and Bear Traps

_*The next day, at the Leanbox Basilicom...*_

"But I have so many games to catch up on!" protested Vert, CPU of Leanbox, as she was pushed out the door.

"You've been inside for days! It's not healthy!" insisted her bodyguard, Peach C. Macintosh (known as 'Peashy' to her friends). "As your bodyguard, I won't allow you to get fat and lazy! Besides, it's just a walk outside, not like I'm making you do hard cardio at the gym!"

"Oh, for heaven's sake...!" the busty blonde sighed in mild exasperation. "Fine, fine, but just this once."

(Once a week, at least,) Peach thought to herself, but decided to keep quiet for now. "We'll just stroll to the nearest park and back. Surely you can manage that, right?"

"...I suppose," Vert conceded. "But must you wear your armor? The threat of invasion from the netherworld is all done and over with now..."

"Force of habit, Lady Vert," the ex-soldier shrugged. "At least I'm not wearing my helmet..."

And so off the two blondes went, heading to the park in question... As they walked down a mulch path, Peashy suddenly put her arm in front of her goddess, forcing her to halt. "Peashy, what...?!"

"Look there," Peach pointed a few feet ahead, where something was laying in the path that definitely shouldn't have been.

"Is that a... bear trap?" Vert gasped in surprise. "What in the world...? I certainly hope this isn't someone's idea of a prank!"

"Don't worry, I've got this," her bodyguard affirmed, taking her baton and walking over to the trap, slowly lowering one end onto the trigger...

_*SNAP!*_ the trap snapped shut, the sharp teeth splintering Peach's baton in half! "There we go! Path's clear, Lady Vert!"

"Thank you, Peach," the CPU nodded as her bodyguard picked up the disarmed trap, following the chain to where the anchor was set in the ground. Walking past where the trap had been set, she heard Peashy struggling to pull the anchor out-

_*click!*_ ***PHWHUMPSH!*** The ground suddenly collapsed under Vert's feet, sending her into a pitfall! _"Oh no!"_ Peach screamed as she ran to the edge, peering down the hole. "Lady Vert, are you OK?! Say something, anything! I'm sorry, I never thought that anchor was a trigger for another trap...!"

"This is... not my day..." the busty goddess groaned from the bottom of the pit, half buried in dirt and mulch with swirls in her eyes...

_*Meanwhile, in Lowee...*_

"Errrrgh!" the rude woman from the prologue grunted as she pulled back the bar on the giant mousetrap, eventually setting the hook over it. "Phew... alright, Warechu, put out the bait."

"Ugh..." the gray rodent cautiously approached. "This trap makes me really nervous, chu..."

"It's not for you, idiot!" the woman yelled, now revealed to be Linda, the former ASIC Underling from Hyperdimension Neptunia mk2. "Now hurry up with those damn dolls!"

"Right-chu!" Warechu nodded, bringing two dolls resembling the Lowee CPU Candidates, Rom and Ram. "Better make sure they work first..." He pulled the string on the Rom doll, which began saying robotically, 'Help... save me... big sis...' He then pulled the string on the other doll which recited pretty much the same thing.

Warechu then tossed the two dolls on the mousetrap, which would have set it off had Linda not grabbed it just in time! "Will you be careful, you stupid rat?!" she yelled as she reset the trap. "Now hide, that bitch White Heart'll be flying by any minute!"

"Got it, chu!" the mouse nodded as he quickly hunkered down behind a nearby bush. Linda then turned the volume on both dolls to max, pulling both cords before quickly going behind the bush herself!

In the skies above, CPU White Heart of Lowee (AKA Blanc) was flying on an air patrol in her HDD form... but then her ears picked the sound of two familiar voices.

"Help me... big sis... save me... help us, Blanc..."

(Rom? Ram? But I thought I left them back at the Basilicom!) Blanc thought to herself. Of course, it wouldn't have been the first time they'd followed her without permission... but how would they have gotten captured so quickly? (Dammit, I can't take the chance!) Mind made up, she flew down toward where the voices were coming from! _"Hang on!_ Your big sister's coming!"

But when she spotted the mousetrap, the goddess quickly stopped, staring at the dolls in disbelief. "What... the... _hell?!"_ she sweat-dropped as her eyes shrank to white circles. "Do they seriously expect an intelligence-type CPU like myself to fall for something _this_ stupid?!" Looking around, White Heart spotted a familiar black heart tail poking out from behind a bush...

_"Ah-ha! Found you, you little shits!"_ the CPU declared as she brandished her axe, swinging and catching both Warechu and Linda behind the blade, whirling a few times before slamming them on the mousetrap, which promptly snapped down on their necks! But as she floated down to admire her handiwork, Blanc suddenly spotted stitches going down their backs! "Huh?!" She experimentally tugged at Warechu's head, which promptly popped off, stuffing falling out through the neck. "These dummies are really... _dummies?!"_

"Now, _now!_ Spring the trap!"

"I'm tryin'! The button's frozen, chu!"

"Oh for- _gimme that!"_

"Did that Underling just pull a fast one on me?!" White Heart muttered in disbelief, before feeling a sudden rumbling. "Uh-oh..." A giant bear trap suddenly emerged from below the mousetrap, the wood splintering as it's sharp teeth snapped shut!

...but Blanc wasn't in the trap, floating just inches above it! _"Holy shit,_ that was close!" she gasped as she set down next to it, tapping it a few times with the blunt side of her axe. "What the... industrial-grade diamond?! Okay, this plot is _way_ above that Underling's brain-grade!" Looking around again, she saw nothing but the Rom and Ram dolls that had been thrown aside by the other two dummies from earlier. "Ugh, I'd better get back to the Basilicom before any more nasty surprises happen!" On a whim, she grabbed the twin dolls before flying off into the sky...

Not long after, Linda and Warechu came out of hiding, stopping next to the giant bear trap. "Warechu, you moron! If it hadn't been for you we'd've had her!"

"W-well, hey, look on the bright side! At least we didn't get our butts kicked this time, chu!" the mouse stammered in fear. "I mean, I can't remember the last time we went after a CPU and didn't get thrashed, chu..." But then, a creaking noise was heard, the two turning to see the bear trap falling towards them! _"YAAAHHH!"_

***SMASH!***

"...like... I was... sayin', chu..."

_"Oh... shut... up...!"_

_*To be continued...*_

Well, two out of three ain't bad! Too bad for Underling, though... but what will happen next? Stay tuned! ;)


	3. Chapter 2- Conference Call

Next chapter, GO!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 2- Conference Call

_*A short while later...*_

"I'm telling you, that mousetrap set-up looked so damn lame!" Blanc stated over the conference call between the four CPUs, though Nepgear was standing in for her sister. "If Underling _was_ behind it, she sure had me conned! _Me,_ of all people! I only escaped by luck!"

"At least you escaped unscathed," Vert sighed, her hair still moist from her shower. "Who would have thought that bear trap was actually a trigger for a pitfall? Poor Peashy couldn't stop apologizing, even though I told her I didn't blame her for missing it..."

"Yeah, your bodyguard's not exactly the brightest bulb, is she?" Noire spoke up. "No offense meant."

"None taken."

"Yeah, but Neptune's still having stomach problems after I made her throw up that eggplant pudding," Nepgear said. "I mean, who would do something that cruel to my sister?! Other than Underling, of course..."

"Yeah, about that..." Blanc muttered, "wasn't she supposed to be locked up in maximum-security?!"

"She should be," the CPU Candidate replied, "but I'll go and check later, just to be sure..."

"Anyway, Blanc, I assume you didn't call us all just to complain about your near-game over experience?" Vert inquired.

"Oh, right..." Clearing her throat, the flat-chested CPU began, "Well, I need all of the other goddesses to come here to Lowee... something major's happened, but I don't want to say it over the phone... who knows who could be listening in."

"I'll be sure to tell Neptune," Nepgear nodded.

"This feels like a teaser trailer that doesn't reveal anything!" Noire complained. "Can't you at least give us a hint?"

"Well... I can say there's someone I want you all to meet," Blanc elaborated. "Also, it involves something that was done in Leanbox..."

"In my nation?" Vert said, curiosity piqued. "But how is it related to this mystery person you want us to meet?"

"You wanna find out, you'll have to come here, Thunder Tits," Blanc deadpanned. "Let's just say they didn't have the best sense of direction, and leave it at that..."

"Must be a _really_ bad sense of direction to end up in the nation furthest away from Leanbox!" Noire said with light laughter. But then, an 8-bit rendition of her musical theme sounded from her hip... "Oops, I've got a call on my cell... Hold on a second." Answering her phone, she spoke, "Uni, this had better be important, I'm in the middle of- Huh? Your gun vault...? Uni, slow down! Take a breath! ...someone ransacked your gun collection?! Okay, call the police, and I'll be down there as soon as I can!" Hanging up, she returned her attention to the other goddesses... "Sorry, I have to get going... Looks like I've got a crisis of my own to deal with."

"Sure," Blanc nodded. "How about you and Vert and Neptune come to Lowee in two days? Would that work?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Noire nodded. "Okay, see you then, bye!" She then hung up.

"That works for me as well," Vert also agreed.

"I'm sure Neptune will be feeling better by then," Nepgear added. "In the meantime, I'll go check to see if that Underling escaped somehow..."

"If she did escape, you better make _damn_ sure the warden or whoever gets punished for incompetence!" Blanc growled. But then she was distracted by two cries of surprise and dismay... "Oh, shit! Rom, Ram, what happened?!"

"Blech! These stupid dolls you brought us covered us in slime!" Ram complained as she walked on-screen, her head half covered in green goo. "Ptooey! Yuck! I think some got in my eye!"

"Don't rub it!" Blanc cautioned. "Dammit... figures the dolls themselves were rigged... I gotta go, see you in two days."

"Hopefully it comes out in the bath..." Nepgear said. "See you later!"

"Good-bye, Blanc, little Nepgear," Vert said before they all hung up.

_*Back at Ho-Hum HQ...*_

"We almost had Blanc," Linda complained, she and Warechu sporting large lumps on their heads, "but thanks to Warechu, we-"

"You don't have to tell me!" the leader cut her off. "I can see what happened!"

"Wow, you're a really smart cookie, chu!" Warechu observed.

"And you have _failed_ me, you miserable rodent!" the horned man yelled as he seized the mouse by the tail!

"OH NOOO!" Warechu screamed just before getting slammed into the wall, then the floor!

As the mouse kept getting slammed into the floor, the kid laughed, "Ha ha! Mr. Mousie's getting spanked!"

"Now, now, Citrus," a blue-skinned hand gently came down on her head, "Would you like it if someone laughed at _you_ getting spanked?"

"Um... no," Citrus looked down in shame. "Sowwy." At that moment, a call came in on the nearby communications console... the leader drop-kicked Warechu into the wall one last time, before marching over to said console and answering.

"Generic Soldier #20 reporting in!" the armored shadow saluted.

"You had better have good news for me," the horned man growled.

"Yessir! Operation Pitfall was a complete success!" Soldier #20 nodded. "Lady Vert never suspected a thing!"

"Excellent work! Now, return to base!"

"Wilco, Overlord Momus! Soldier #20 out!" the soldier saluted before the screen went dark.

"Now then..." Momus turned back to Linda who was shivering in fear. "Seeing as the failure was Warechu's and not yours, I believe that lump on your head will be punishment enough. Just tell me one thing... did Blanc take those two dolls with her?"

"Y-yessir, she did!" the punk girl nodded vigorously.

"Ah, good. Then the operation was not a total loss," the leader stated in mild satisfaction. "Just keep in mind, I won't be so merciful next time if you fail again. Do I make myself _clear,_ Miss Linda?"

"C-crystal clear, Overlord Momus!" Linda saluted. "I won't fail you again!"

"Me neither, chu..." Warechu groaned from his prone position on the floor.

"Well, for starters, get this sorry rodent out of my sight!" Momus ordered, Linda promptly scooping up her companion and dashing out of the room.

"So when do I get to do somethin' fun?!" Citrus complained.

"Patience, Citrus. All in due time," the horned man assured her. "Dogoo Man, perhaps you could take her out to the nearby park to play?"

"Yes, sir, Overlord Momus!" Dogoo Man assented, taking the little girl by the hand and leading her out of the room. Not long after, another woman emerged from the shadows.

"I knew you were there, Generic Thief #11," Momus crossed his arms in mild annoyance. "Report."

"Complete success, naturally," Thief #11 chuckled, brandishing a few firearms. "Check out these high-end guns I lifted from Uni's stash! I'll admit, her security was pretty state-of-the-art, but not enough to stop me."

"Yes, very high-end indeed," the Ho-Hum leader chuckled as he took a laser rifle in his hands. "Generic Soldier #20 will certainly put these to good use... I'll admit, I was wary about bringing you on, but this success has effectively assuaged my fears. I'll be sure to call on you for more thefts in the future..."

"I look forward to it!" Thief #11 grinned, the two then sharing an evil laugh together...

_*To be continued...*_

Uh-oh, Uni's best firearms are now in the hands of Ho-Hum! What diabolical plans will they be used for? What major event could Blanc be referring to? Who is Overlord Momus, and why does he oppose the goddesses? (I'll give you a hint, it's not Arfoire this time.) Find out (maybe) next time! ;)


	4. Chapter 3- Thefts and Bribery

Motivation dropped a little, but the next chapter is ready to roll!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 3- Thefts and Bribery

_*Planeptune City Maximum Security Prison*_

"So, would you care to explain this lapse to us, warden?" Histoire inquired critically with her arms crossed, Nepgear standing with her as they observed Underling's empty prison cell.

"I-I-I don't know h-how it c-could have happened!" the slightly rotund NPC stammered, shaking with intimidation.

"You do realize that one of my functions is a living lie detector," the fairy stated critically, "And it doesn't take me three seconds to deduce you are lying..."

"Did you help Underling escape?!" Nepgear asked pointedly.

"Of course not! I would never just up and let someone like _her_ out like that!" the warden asserted firmly.

"...he seems to be telling the truth," Histoire observed. "Of course, that doesn't mean you weren't enticed to look the other way..."

"Did someone pay you off?" Nepgear inquired.

"No! No amount of money is worth releasing a felon!" the NPC retorted.

"Truth," Histoire nodded after three seconds.

"Hmm... maybe it was something else then," Nepgear mused. "Something that money couldn't buy... like a really rare retro game that's really hard to come by, even on the Internep..."

"Urk!" the warden sweat-dropped.

"...it seems you hit the nail on the head, Nepgear."

"I-I'm sorry!" the NPC fell to his knees, as if to beg for mercy. "I'd been looking everywhere for that game, and then that person showed up and dangled it in front of my face, like red meat in front of a hungry dog! It was an offer I couldn't refuse!"

"W-well, you should have!" the CPU Candidate asserted. "So who bought you off with the rare game?!"

"I... I'm not talking! I want a lawyer!" the fat man shook his head.

"...In that case, you leave us with no choice," Histoire sighed. "Guards!" Two security guards ran up, grabbing the warden by the arms. "Your warden is hereby stripped of his position. He is to be arrested and charged with bribery and aiding and abetting a convicted felon."

"How could you do this to us, boss?!" the guard on the right gasped.

"And I had so much respect for you, too..." the left guard added as they hauled the ex-warden to his feet.

"Take his gun and shield. A-and his keys!" Nepgear ordered. "And lock him up in this cell, we'll see how he likes it!" The guards did as ordered, handing over the requested items to the goddess before throwing the rotund NPC into said cell and slamming the door shut. "Maybe after a few days of not being able to play that precious game, you'll realize how foolish you were!"

"I-I'm still not talking," the ex-warden grunted in defiance.

"Then you can remain there until your trial begins, in three days," Histoire stated matter-of-factly. Turning to the two guards, she then spoke, "Now then, would either of you be bought off by a rare retro game like he was?"

"No way!"

"O-of course not!"

"The one on the right is lying," the Planeptune Oracle said. "You on the left, congratulations, you are the new warden of Planeptune City Maximum-Security Penitentiary." Nepgear promptly handed the badge and keys to the left NPC. "Be sure to learn from your predecessor's error."

"Yes ma'am! Thank you, Histoire!" the new warden saluted. Turning to his compatriot, he then ordered, "Alright, gather the other guards for a staff meeting! We're going to talk about potential bribes and how not to get taken in by them! _Hut, hut, hut!"_

"Y-yessir!" the other guard saluted nervously before running off.

"And make sure all the prisoners are locked in their cells first!"

Histoire nodded in satisfaction, before turning back to Nepgear. "Well, now that that's been dealt with, we should try to locate Underling with all due haste..."

"But if she was behind that giant bear trap Blanc escaped, that means she could be anywhere by now!" Nepgear pointed out. "She couldn't have gotten that far on her own... It must mean she's become part of some new evil group!"

"In that case, we should contact IF and see what her Guild has been dealing with lately..." Histoire suggested.

_*Meanwhile, in Lastation...*_

"So the items that were stolen were a bazooka, a laser rifle, and a high-capacity hand cannon," the NPC detective muttered as he scribbled on a notepad.

"Right!" Uni nodded. "And that hand cannon was one of my favorites! It has a 50-round capacity, and can fire in bursts of three rounds at a time!" Looking around, she sighed in despair at see all her firearms laying haphazardly all over the floor of her vault. "It's gonna take forever to reorganize all these..."

"Detective, Lady Uni!" a police officer ran up with a sheet of paper. "I found this note buried under a assault rifle in the corner! Looks like it's from the perp!"

"Let me see that," the detective took the note in hand, Uni moving closer so they could both read...

_'To CPU Candidate Uni:_

_Your firearms are useless just sitting in here, so I decided to take a few off your hands. Don't worry, they'll be put to good use very soon... Also, you need a keypad that isn't so easily hot-wired._

_-Generic Thief #11 of Ho-Hum'_

_"Ho-Hum?_ What the heck is a 'Ho-Hum?'" Uni grunted in confusion.

"Obviously the name of some criminal organization," the detective mused. Just then, something caught his eye, seeing Noire jogging into the vault. "Oh, Lady Noire!"

"Detective, I want a report on your investigation's progress!" the CPU promptly ordered. "I can already see how they broke in- unscrewing the keypad cover and hot-wiring the code!"

"I'm sorry, Noire!" Uni bowed her head in shame. "You need a special screwdriver to unscrew that cover, so I thought it was good enough...!"

"Uni, stop. There's no need to apologize," her sister shook her head. "The fact that this thief even had that kind of screwdriver suggests they're a professional..."

"Exactly the conclusion I came to," the detective nodded. "They even left a note behind..." He promptly handed said note over to the goddess, who quickly scanned over it.

"...'Ho-Hum'? What kind of a name for a criminal organization is that?!" Noire muttered to herself.

"That's what I said," Uni shrugged.

"...Well, anyway, take this note down to forensics, see if they can find any useful evidence," Noire said as she handed the paper back. "Much as I'd like to help with the investigation, I've got reams of paperwork to do, not mention I have to meet Blanc and other CPUs in Lowee in two days..."

"I told you sewing that cosplay costume would set you way back," Uni muttered under her breath.

"HEY!" Noire's eyes shrunk to circles. "I thought we agreed not to talk about that!"

"With all due respect, Lady Noire, your hobby's not exactly secret these days..." the NPC detective spoke up.

"WHAT?!" the tsundere goddess cried in shock. "E-everyone knows?! Did Neptune tell?!"

"Actually, we've known it for a while, Lady Noire," the police officer added.

_"Nooooooo!_ This is so embarrassing!" Noire squeaked in dismay. "I'm, I'm gonna go hide in my office for a while...!" She promptly ran off red-faced, causing the others present to sweat-drop...

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"Master, I have returned," Generic Ninja #25 kneeled before Overlord Momus. "Operation successful. In fact, I hear that Neptune is issuing a decree banning eggplant-flavored pudding throughout all of Planeptune..."

"Excellent work," Momus nodded in satisfaction. "I have another assignment for you. I've just received word of a meeting of all four CPUs at the Lowee Basilicom in two days... I want you to head over there and try to glean what information you can from the meeting. Knowing their future actions will allow us to plot future operations against them..."

"It will be done, Overlord Momus," Ninja #25 assented, promptly vanishing into the shadows...

_*To be continued...*_

Next, the meeting between the CPUs, and the 'major event' mentioned by Blanc will be revealed! Who or what could it be? Find out next chapter!


	5. Chapter 4- Meeting Neon

And now, the major plot twist is finally revealed!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 4- Meeting Neon

_*Lowee Basilicom, two days later...*_

"Hey Noire, you're looking a little run-down," Neptune observed as the two along with Vert entered the lobby. "Forget to recharge your batteries?"

"For your information, I was catching up on paperwork so I wouldn't be swamped when I got back!" the raven-haired tsundere shot back. "And besides, you're looking a little fish-belly pale yourself!"

"Well, how would you feel if you were tricked into eating something as disgusting as eggplant?!" Neptune groaned. "I've lost track of how much Pepto and laxatives I gulped down...!"

"That's not exactly healthy, either," Vert spoke up. "I suppose I should count myself fortunate that I only had to take a shower after that pitfall prank... it's almost like the powers that be are conspiring against us."

"Well, apparently some organization calling themselves 'Ho-Hum' is responsible for ransacking Uni's gun collection," Noire expounded. "Unfortunately, there were no fingerprints on the note they left behind, and handwriting analysis determined that the thief is likely a woman..."

"Well, that narrows it down to practically the entire cast," Neptune snarked. "Well, save maybe Tekken and 5pb., they aren't smart enough to pull off a heist like that..."

"I'm fairly certain MAGES. is still in Leanbox, so it couldn't be her, either," Vert pointed out. "Oh, hello there, Ram!"

"Hiya!" the youngest Lowee sister greeted the others. "Big Sis says to meet her in her office! And believe me, you're gonna have your minds _blown_ when she tells you the big news!"

"...I can't think of anything that would 'blow my mind', unless she says I can have you for a little sister," Vert commented, causing both Neptune and Noire to face-fault.

"Um, no," Ram rebuffed the busty blonde. "One, that's completely wrong, and two, I don't feel like smothering in your big boobs!"

"Oh well, it was worth a try," Vert sighed in mild disappointment.

"Can we talk about your little sister complex some other time?!" Noire cut in, a blood vein visible on her forehead. "Let's just get up to Blanc's office and get this over with!"

_*Blanc's Office*_

"We're here~!" Neptune announced as she and the others entered.

"H-hello there!" a familiar face greeted, with heather blue hair, blue eyes, glasses and dressed in a business suit, a horn-like protrusion jutting from the right side of her head.

"Hey, it's Rei Ryghts!" Neptune realized. "What's a former final boss turned lawyer doing here?"

"U-um... i-it's b-better if Lady Blanc e-explains it," the former psycho goddess stuttered, stepping aside, revealing Lowee's CPU.

"Hello, Neptune, everyone. Thank you for coming," Blanc greeted. "If you could shut the door, please." Once that was done, she began, "Before we get started, I have someone to introduce you to. Neon, if you would come here, please." A young woman stepped forward, looking to be about 15 or so. She had short light-blue hair with red streaks done in a bob-cut, also wearing red barrettes above her forehead. She was pale-skinned, with red eyes and looking a bit on the thin side, dressed in a simple light-blue blouse and matching skirt, with red slip-on shoes and white socks. "This is Neon Evangelion. She comes from far away, so if you would introduce yourselves..."

"Certainly," Vert stepped forward. "My name is Vert, I am the CPU of Leanbox to the south, also known as Green Heart. A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"I'm Noire, CPU Black Heart of Lastation in the southeast. Nice to meet you!"

"And I'm Neptune, also known as Purple Heart of Planeptune to the west, and the main character!" Neptune finished.

"Main... character...?" Neon blinked in confusion.

"Don't think too hard about it," Blanc sighed. "Neptune can get a bit meta with her dialogue sometimes, so don't mind her..."

"...I see," the teenager said after a moment. Bowing politely, she greeted, "Well, it is an honor to meet you, goddesses of the world of Gamindustri. I must admit, I am surprised that there are four, er, five of you in this world alone. Where I come from, there is one goddess of the entire cluster, to my knowledge anyway."

"Cluster...?" Vert inquired curiously.

"Yes, the Animenga Cluster, as you call it here," Neon responded. "We intercepted your satellite that your nation launched in our direction..."

"Oh, I see," Vert nodded... then realization dawned. "W-wait... you... intercepted the satellite... in the Animenga Cluster?!"

"Wait, cluster? As in _'star cluster'?_ Like, way out in outer space?!" Neptune gasped, her eyes shrinking to circles.

"B-but that means...!" Noire cried with a similar expression.

Neon nodded in affirmation. "Yes. I am what you might call... an 'extraterrestrial'."

"WHAAAAAAAATT?!" the three CPUs cried at once.

"Holy fish sticks! It's an alien invasion!" Neptune yelled in panic. "I'm gonna get abducted and strapped to a table, and poked and prodded with all sorts of instruments and nasty tentacles...!"

"T-tentacles...?!" Neon sweat-dropped.

"But I don't wanna be experimented on!" Noire cried as she drew her rapier. "I won't go down without a fight!"

"Will you all SHUT UP?!" Blanc screamed, her face shadowed with one angry red eye glowing. "It's NOT an invasion, dammit! Neon's the only alien here!"

"Y-yes, everyone, please calm down and let Miss Neon explain herself," Vert concurred.

"...A-alright, fine," Noire grunted as she sheathed her weapon. "Maybe I was a bit hasty... It's all Neptune's fault!"

"S-so... no dissection or t-tentacles?" Neptune grunted.

"No dissection," the alien promised. "And, um, I don't even have tentacles... just wings."

"Wings...?" Noire blinked quizzically. "I don't see any wings..."

"Of course you don't," Vert cut in. "This is obviously _not_ Neon Evangelion's true appearance, but rather, a disguise so she can fit in with people here without causing panic. Am I right?"

"That is correct, Lady Vert," Neon nodded with a slight smile. "If you would permit me, I will show you my true form..."

"...Just as long as it's nothing that breaks our minds trying to comprehend," Neptune demurred.

"No, nothing like that, I promise," the alien sweat-dropped again.

"Alright, I'm ready. Go ahead," Noire agreed.

"Very well then..." Neon's body was suddenly enveloped with an ethereal glow, her hair turning white as her clothes and hair decs vanished, though said glow easily disguised any 'naughty bits'. Four pairs of thin, transparent crystalline wings extended from her back, as well as two extra wings extending upward from her ankles. Two extra pairs of eyes opened on her face, one above and one below her original pair, a seventh black eye with a golden iris opening in her forehead. "This is not too off-putting, is it?"

"Eh... it's kinda freaky, but not as bad as I was thinking," Neptune admitted.

"You almost look like an angel," Noire observed.

"Well, I do currently serve as the Oracle for my goddess, so it's somewhat fitting," Neon stated, her voice now having a slight echo to it. "Like Mina Nishizawa serves as Lady Blanc's Oracle..."

"You're the Oracle?!" Neptune gasped.

"Now hold on just a minute," Vert suddenly spoke up with a stern expression. "You don't expect me to be taken in so easily, now do you?"

"Taken... in?" the angel-like alien tilted her head curiously.

"Wait, you think she's pulling our legs?!" Neptune said incredulously. "Even after this transformation?!"

"It could easily be faked with the right holographic projection technology," the busty blonde stated. "Now then, if you wish for me to believe that you are the genuine article, you will recite the Konami Code that was uploaded into the satellite's data files."

"The Konami Code?!" Noire gasped. "But, that's..." She was silenced by Vert raising her hand.

"I think I know what you're talking about," Neon nodded, closing her six normal eyes as she tried to recall. "Let's see... up, down, up, down, left, left, right, right, A, B, start."

"WRONG!" Neptune declared. "It's up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start!"

"I g-got it wrong?!" Neon gasped in shock, her six eyes shrinking to circles.

_"Objection!"_ Vert cried. "Actually, Neptune, that's exactly the code that was uploaded onto the satellite."

"Huh? But why is it all wrong, then?!" the Planeptune CPU asked in bewilderment.

"Obviously, Vert made it wrong on purpose, to weed out any imposters," Blanc commented.

"Precisely," Vert agreed with a slight chuckle. "After all, everyone in Gamindustri knows the Konami Code by heart... so if Neon had recited the code properly, as we all remember it, it would have exposed her as a fraud."

"But since she recalled the _incorrect_ code you put on the satellite, that means she's the real deal," Noire concluded.

"Oh, so it was a trick all along," Neptune sighed.

"Eh-heh... E-even I was f-fooled for a moment," Rei admitted. "And I'm s-supposed t-to be the one who c-catches those c-contradictions..."

"Yeah, speaking of which, where does Rei fit into all this, anyway?" Noire asked.

"She was the first goddess that I met face-to-face," Neon explained. "I was rather intrigued, since she did not seem to rule a nation of her own, like you four... unfortunately, I angered her due to my 'stalking' as she called it... I was nearly cut down by her slicing finger!"

"But then Neon was arrested for a crime she didn't commit, and she had no choice but to contact Rei to defend her, because she was the only lawyer she knew about," Blanc said. "On this planet, anyway."

"Wow! So you ended up preventing an intergalactic incident, huh?!" Neptune exclaimed with a smile. "That's our Rei~!"

"Eh-heeheehee..." Rei blushed profusely. "I d-didn't even know sh-she was an a-alien until later..."

"Still, I am eternally grateful for your assistance, Lady Rei, despite our initial friction," Neon bowed deeply to her. "Even if you began life as a mortal, unlike the others, I believe you are truly worthy of being a goddess." At hearing this, Rei squeaked as she buried her face in her hands in embarrassment...

"I think that's enough praise," Vert spoke up. "Poor Rei's going to pass out at this rate..."

"So, anyway, getting back on topic," Noire said, "if you're the Oracle, does that mean your goddess wants to meet us?"

"That is correct," the alien affirmed. "However, her... personality can be a bit off-putting, so I traveled here first to establish contact with all of you. Also, Ma'nabatea wished to ensure that this planet was not embroiled in conflict..."

"Mana-whatsis?" Neptune frowned as she tried to process the strange name.

"Oh, sorry, that is how I refer to my goddess," Neon explained. "She has gone by many names throughout her existence, however... I once knew her as Lilith, but she frowns on that name."

"Well, in some cultures, Lilith is known as the queen of demons, so it's no surprise she wouldn't like it," Blanc mused.

"Yeah, okay, then let's call her another of her many names, that doesn't twist the tongue into a knot, okay?" Neptune sighed. "And as far as conflict, we have had to deal with a few world-spanning threats... heck, Rei here used to be one of 'em."

"I'm sorry! I'm so very sorry!" the former final boss reflexively apologized.

"Yes, we know you're sorry," Noire deadpanned. "It was more than two games ago, so stop apologizing for it!"

"But to answer your question, other than a few really bad pranks, nothin' serious going on at the moment," Neptune finished.

"So then, when does your goddess wish to meet us?" Vert inquired.

"Ma'nabatea can meet you now, if you wish it," the alien Oracle replied. "However, we will have to go outside..."

"Ugh... I don't want to draw too much attention to you yet, though," Blanc grumbled. "If it gets out to the general populace that aliens have touched down before we have a chance to explain... well, a lot of them might react the same way Neptune did, maybe even worse. That's why I was so secretive about this to begin with..."

"Well, how about we go out to the far end of Iris Field?" Neptune suggested. "That should far enough away from civilization... we'll just have to bundle up a bit."

"Well, it's a good thing I brought along a heat pack for my breasts," Vert sighed.

"Why couldn't you wear a winter coat like the rest of us?" Noire lampshaded.

"I just wore a sweater under my parka dress," Neptune stated.

"Sh-should I c-come along t-too?" Rei asked.

"Of course," Neon replied. "You are a goddess, too, after all."

"Just make sure you go back to your human disguise once we get outside," Blanc cautioned the alien. "On that note, does 'Mana-tea' have a human form as well?"

_"Ma'nabatea,_ and yes, she does," Neon said as she reverted to her human look. "Let us go, then..."

And so the five CPUs, one alien, Rom and Ram departed the Basilicom for Iris Field...

_*To be continued...*_

Muahahahaha! That's right, the major event is... FIRST CONTACT with aliens! And now, I can finally reveal the full title of my story: 'Ho-Hum and the ALIEN Visitation'! (Which will be updated next chapter.) And next chapter, the goddess of the Animenga Cluster touches down! What will she be like? How will this figure into Ho-Hum's plans? And what moe anime/manga personifications will appear alongside her and Neon? Stay tuned, and review! ;)


	6. Chapter 5- Alien Goddess Descends

And now, we meet the Animenga goddess herself! Special thanks to Nanya for helping me out with her suggestions! :D

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 5- Alien Goddess Descends

_*Iris Field, Lowee*_

And so, the four CPUs, Rei, Rom, Ram and Neon were gathered in a rough semicircle at the far end of Iris Field, preparing for the arrival of the goddess of the Animenga Star Cluster... Neptune had the hood of her parka up, Noire wore a short gray winter coat and a scarf, Rei was wearing a long brown slightly tattered winter coat, and the others were wearing their default outfits (though Vert had a heat pack nestled in her D-cups).

"You aren't cold, Miss Neon?" Rom asked curiously.

"The cold does not bother me," the alien replied. "But thank you for your concern."

"So how's this gonna go down?" Neptune asked next. "Your goddess gonna descend from the heavens in a divine beam of light or something?"

"...it depends on her mood," Neon answered after a moment. Walking in front of the group, she assumed her true form before scanning the area with her seven eyes... "I can detect no other people in the immediate area at the moment." Turning her back to the group, she knelt down in a praying position, before calling out loudly in a language that none of the other goddesses understood... After a few seconds, a twinkle appeared in the sky, before a large beam of light came down, causing a wind that tousled Noire, Vert, Rei and Ram's hair, the three Lowee sisters having to grab their hats to keep them from blowing away!

"Yow! Did I call it or what?!" Neptune gasped. Squinting against the light, she made out a mask with seven eyes, three on the left and four on the right... then the beam disappeared, revealing a building-sized vaguely humanoid body with very large dragonfly-like wings, though the ethereal glow made it a bit hard to make out. "Whoa, this is a bit too much! Can you like, shrink down to bite-size or something?!"

"I-I second th-that!" Rei squeaked. The glowing figure spoke something in the same incomprehensible language, though her tone of voice was affirmative. It then began to shrink down, re-shaping into something tall with a round top... But before Neptune could make any phallic jokes, the glow began to fade, revealing the object to be a throne of some sort. Soon, the ethereal glow faded completely, revealing the figure on the throne to be a young woman with neck-length brown hair, held in place by a yellow headband and two matching ribbons. She wore clothing akin to a blue-colored sailor school uniform with brown shoes and white socks, and that same seven-eyed mask covered her face.

"Okay, that's a little more like it," Neptune nodded. "Any chance you could make your face more like a human's though?" The woman responded by reaching up and removing her mask, her face appearing featureless at first before reforming into a normal human face with a small nose and thin lips, her two eyes opening to reveal white sclera and golden irises.

"Ma'nabatea," Neon acknowledged. The goddess of the Animenga Cluster rose from her throne, walking over to her Oracle before placing her hands on the other's temples, closing her eyes for a few moments... she then removed her hands and stepped back, turning to face the other CPUs.

"So, do you understand me now?" she asked.

"Loud and clear!" Neptune affirmed, the others responding similarly.

"I assume you absorbed knowledge of our language from your Oracle's mind," Vert stated.

"Sure did," the brunette nodded. "She was always better at picking up that kinda stuff, anyway. And you," she suddenly turned to Rei. "Thanks for getting Neon's fat outta the fryer, as you put it."

"Y-y-you're welcome!" Rei bowed politely. "S-so, um, not t-to be t-too forward, but d-do you have a n-name that's easy t-to p-pronounce for us? B-both Lady Blanc and Neptune k-kinda butchered the name Neon uses f-for you..."

"...yeah, it would be kinda hard on your tongues, huh?" the brunette acknowledged. "Okay, lemme think for a moment..." She crossed her arms and closed her eyes, pondering... "Well, a really long time ago, I was once known as 'the spring breeze which brings forth the seeds of new life'... How about you call me 'Haruhi'? That means 'spring breeze' in another language..."

"Haruhi, huh? Yeah, that'll work! Haruhi it is then!" Neptune proclaimed, the others agreeing. "So, anyway, I'm Neptune, goddess of Planeptune, the one with black hair is Noire from Lastation, the blonde one is Vert from Leanbox, and the one with the hat is Blanc from Lowee, which is the nation we're in right now. Oh, and the one with the horn is Rei Ryghts."

"And I'm Ram, and this is my twin sister Rom!" the youngest sister exclaimed. "Oh, and Neptune and Noire have sisters too, but they're back at their homes right now!"

"H-hello there!" Rom waved timidly.

"I see. Well, nice to meet you all!" Haruhi nodded with a smile. "Well, I'm looking forward to exploring this world... what's up, Neon?" She looked over at her Oracle who had suddenly reverted to her human guise.

"We have incoming," Neon pointed, "two men, covered in shadow, they appear to be being chased by a monster." The CPUs turned, and sure enough, it was as she said, two NPCs running for their lives from a giant Viral Meow!

"I've got this!" Blanc stated as she took out her hammer. _"Zerstorung!"_ Swinging in a circle, she released her hammer which spun in an arc that missed the two men, nailing the Viral Meow dead-on and dematerializing it instantly!

"Haa... w-we're saved!" the NPC on the left gasped as he fell to one knee.

"It would seem so," the other NPC replied, leaning on his knees but still standing. "Lady Blanc, you have our gratitude..."

"Yeah, nicely done!" Haruhi lightly applauded.

"You idiots mind telling me what you were doing all the way out here in the first place?!" Blanc growled as she recalled her hammer to her hand, hefting it over her shoulder.

"It was his fault," the left NPC pointed to his comrade, "He insisted on checking it out, so I followed him in case he got in over his head... guess I didn't do much better. Seriously, how does a Viral Meow get so huge?!"

"...it's not unheard of," the Lowee CPU shrugged as she put her hammer away.

"So, like, what exactly were you checking out?" Neptune asked.

"Well, this may sound strange..." the right NPC began, "But, I swear I had seen something strange in the sky... like a mask of some sort... with multiple eyes! You saw it too, don't deny it!"

"I suppose," the left NPC said non-committally. "Of course, the fact that all the CPUs are here probably means they already dealt with it..."

"Uh... yep, that's right! We nepped the heck out of that evil mask thingy! All is well, nothing to worry about!" Neptune babbled with a wide smile, causing Haruhi and Neon to sweat-drop. "Right, guys?" The other CPUs spoke similarly.

"So, what are your guys' names?" Haruhi asked, causing the the two to stop cold.

"Our names...?" the left NPC seemed surprised.

"No-one's ever asked us that before," the right NPC admitted. "After all, we're just non-player characters, insignificant, unimportant-"

"Not to me you aren't!" Haruhi cut them off. "Names! Now!"

"Uh..." the left NPC stammered. "I am... John Smith."

"And I'm Itsuki Koizumi," the other NPC said. "A pleasure to meet you, miss..."

"Haruhi. Haruhi... Suzumiya." the brunette said after a moment. "Usually I have no interest in ordinary people, but I've never seen shadow-men where I come from..."

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I'm about as ordinary and average as they come," John Smith said. "Koizumi here's something of a philosopher-wannabe, though. Please don't start."

"What made you think I was going to?" Koizumi rebutted.

"Because I know you."

"...So, is this an example of 'those two guys', or the 'best friends who constantly insult and rag on each other'?" Neptune mused to herself.

"The latter," John snarked. "Can't live with him, life would be too boring without him."

"He makes a good sounding board for my ramblings," Koizumi concurred. "Ah, is that Rei Ryghts I see with you?"

"H-h-hello!" Rei waved nervously. "I d-don't b-bite, I promise!"

"Either that or you're too afraid to try it with all the CPUs here," John muttered under his breath.

"Aaaaanyway, it's freezing out here! Let's hurry up and get inside!" Haruhi insisted, rubbing her arms...

_*Lowee Basilicom- Reading Room*_

"Nep what?!" Neptune gasped in shock.

_"Huh?!"_ Vert and Noire had a similar reaction.

"H-how d-did we end up b-back at the B-Basilicom so f-fast?!" Rei queried.

"Wait, you mean this wasn't a scene change?" John Smith asked in bewilderment.

"Nope! I teleported us all here!" Haruhi proclaimed with a smile. "Hope you're not too disoriented from the rapid transit!"

"Ah, so you aren't exactly human, are you, Miss Suzumiya?" Koizumi suggested knowingly.

"Uh..." the brunette's skin went pale as her pupils shrank to pinpricks. "Crap."

"Milady..." Neon face-palmed. "So much for keeping our true natures secret..."

"What, are you alien goddesses from outer space or something?" John deadpanned.

A low piano chord sounded through the room. "Holy Nep, he got it in one..." Neptune said, stunned.

"What remarkable intuition for an NPC," Vert observed with a sweatdrop.

"Wait, what?! I was _right?!"_ the snarky shadow-man gasped in utter disbelief.

"Half-right," Haruhi sighed in resignation. "I'm the goddess, she's my Oracle," she pointed at Neon.

"Oh my," Koizumi shook his head, "so much for your assertions that aliens don't exist, John..."

"Yare yare, I'm never gonna hear the end of this," John face-palmed.

"I do not begrudge you," Neon assured him, "After all, Lady Vert also would not believe me without proof, namely a specific code that she uploaded onto the satellite we intercepted from her nation..."

"I was talking about Koizumi, not you."

"Wait a minute... the satellite was from _Vert's_ nation?!" Haruhi said, turning to her fellow alien. "Oracle Evangelion, you have some explaining to do! Why did you come here when the satellite was launched from a different nation entirely?!"

"M-my apologies, Ma'nabatea!" Neon stammered, bowing deeply. "When I first came here, I was unaware of which nation was Leanbox, so I simply touched down in the center of the largest landmass! It was not until after I arrived that I realized my error! I beg forgiveness!"

"...that's a penalty on you, Neon," the alien goddess shook her head. "I'll decide your penance later... and call me Haruhi while we're here, got it?!"

"Yes, Ma'na- *ahem* I mean, Lady Haruhi."

"So that mask we saw in the sky, that was you, I presume?" Koizumi inquired.

"Yeah, that was me," Haruhi sighed. "Don't worry, we come in peace..."

"Um, yeah, could we, like, ask you to keep your lips zipped for the moment?" Neptune cut in. "We don't need people panicking thinking there's an imminent invasion or junk like that..."

"Says the one who thought she was about to be experimented on!" Noire jabbed at her.

"You weren't much better," Blanc spoke up.

"Shut up! I-it was just a momentary panic!"

"Don't worry about a thing," Koizumi interrupted before a fight could break out. "I'm quite good at keeping secrets, as my friend here can attest."

"I won't say anything either," John promised. "Last thing I want to do is provoke Lady Blanc's wrath..."

"Really?" Haruhi turned to the NPC. "Blanc seems rather soft-spoken to me..."

"She is, until she gets mad," Ram said. "Then she starts saying all kinds of bad words!"

"Big Sis is scary when she's mad," Rom added. "Especially when Miss Vert teases her..."

"Oh, speaking of which," Neon addressed the Leanbox CPU, "I've been curious about a particular ability that Lady Blanc says you possess... Do you truly fire lightning from your breasts?"

"D-do I WHAT?!" Vert gasped, her eyes shrinking to small circles. Meanwhile, Blanc suddenly clapped her hands over her mouth, her body shaking...

"You can do that?!" Haruhi gasped in surprise. "Ooh, this I gotta see!"

"Yeah, _Thunder Tits,_ show 'em your stuff," John snarked.

"Pffffft- _Ahahahahaha!"_ Blanc couldn't hold it in any more, collapsing to the floor as she laughed uncontrollably. It didn't help that Ram and Rom started laughing and giggling along with her...

"N-now wait just a moment!" Vert cried out. "Y-you've got it all wrong! I can't do that...! I-it's just... Blanc, this is all your fault!" The Lowee CPU just laughed harder in response...

"I... I fail to see what is so amusing," Neon sweat-dropped.

"Oh wait, I get it now," Haruhi realized. "'Thunder Tits' is just a derogatory insult, not an actual ability..."

"It took ya that long to figure it out?" Neptune sighed. "But yeah, Blanc's a bit sore that Vert's got massive mammaries while she doesn't... bringing that up usually means a giant hammer to the face."

"But... what does the size of your breasts have to do with anything? I do not understand at all," Neon pondered curiously.

"Let's just say it's one of those things you wouldn't understand if you weren't born and raised in Gamindustri," Noire explained. "It's better to just leave it at that..."

"I apologize for John, Lady Vert," Koizumi bowed, "but when a softball comes his way, he can't help but swing at it, if you understand my meaning..."

"I see..." Vert sighed as she rubbed her temples. "In that case, I think I'll step outside for some fresh air, before I do something I may regret." With that, she promptly took her leave.

"Well, while we wait for Blanc to stop laughing, how about we play some video games together?" Neptune suggested. "Er, you do know what video games are, right?"

"I am familiar with the concept," Neon nodded affirmatively.

"Me too... I think," Haruhi grunted. "But we'll leave the choice of game to you..."

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

The phone rang, Overlord Momus quickly answering. "Report, Generic Ninja #25. ...What? Are you certain?! D-do you have any idea what the hell you're saying?! ...I see. Well, this changes things. Continue to monitor the situation for now. Good bye." He hung up before turning to his subordinates. "It seems that extraterrestrials have made first contact with the CPUs."

"Extraterrestrials?!" Soldier #20 gasped in shock. "As in, aliens from outer space?!"

"Aliens?!" Citrus gasped with wide eyes.

"For real?! You're shi- I mean, you're kidding me!" Linda caught herself before she cussed.

"I don't wanna be dissected, chu!" Warechu cried.

"Don't worry, Mr. Mousie, I'll protect you!" Citrus promised. "If the bad aliens come for you, Imma beat 'em up! Whack! Bam! Pow! Punch!"

"SILENCE!" Momus shouted, everyone quieting down. "Now then, before you all panic, it appears these extraterrestrials are benevolent in nature, for the moment. Nevertheless, this event requires us to alter our plans... therefore, we will divide our forces to ensure these aliens do not find us out all at once, if they have clairvoyant abilities. Generic Thief #20, seeing as you are a wanted woman in Lastation, I'm sending back to your old stomping grounds in Leanbox, though I highly suggest you stay out of the capital city. Generic Animal #10 will accompany you. Oh, and here." He handed a book to the thief.

"Uh... 'How To Cook Wild Game'?" Thief #11 sweat-dropped.

"So you don't get the urge for sticky fingers, Generic Animal #10 will hunt game in the forest and share a portion with you. This will ensure you prepare it properly, without becoming sick to your stomach," the horned man explained.

"So I'm roughing it, huh?" the shadow-woman sighed. "Well, guess it won't be too much different from when I was living on the streets..."

"Generic Soldier #20," Momus addressed the armored man next, "You will be heading to Lastation solo. I trust you know how to handle yourself."

"Sir, yes sir!" Soldier #20 saluted.

"Miss Linda, Warechu, Citrus and Dogoo Man, you will be heading to Planeptune."

"Hot da- Hot _dog!_ Yes!" Linda pumped her arms in excitement. "Freakin' finally!"

"However, you will _not_ act against the CPU there until I give the order, is that clear?"

"Aww, does that mean I can't go visit?" Citrus whined.

"Well..." Momus hesitated. "Wait until you get there, and then we'll see what happens. Remember, Neptune is still in Lowee right now, so you'll at least have to wait for her to come home, all right?"

"Oh... okay. But I'm not doin' anything with Punk Lady!" the kid insisted.

"Fine by me, I'm no good with kids anyway," Linda agreed. "You can go with the blue freak once we get over there!"

"Aw, come on, I'm not a freak, I'm just a Dogoo with lots of muscles!"

"What about you, Overlord Momus?" Soldier #20 asked.

"I will remain here for the time being," the leader of Ho-Hum responded. "I was going to wait to tell you this, but I have some potential recruits that I'm putting through their paces at the moment, and I don't wish to lose sight of them. If they pan out, I will give more information at the proper time. But for now, you all have your orders! Move out, members of Ho-Hum!"

"Yessir!" "Right!" "Okay!" With that, the group of minions dispersed, leaving Momus alone in the room.

"...I sincerely hope this event is not a prelude to the crisis I feared might come to pass," the horned shadow muttered to himself. "Hopefully these aliens are indeed as benevolent as they appear..."

_*To be continued...*_

Sorry, got nothing witty to say this time. :( Anyway, review!


	7. Chapter 6- The Antics of Haruhi Suzumiya

Next chapter, GO!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 6- The Antics Of Haruhi Suzumiya

_*Lowee Basilicom- Reading Room*_

"Ha ha! This race is all Nep's!" Neptune proclaimed, her go-kart being far in the lead.

"My blue shell says otherwise!" Noire taunted.

"NEPUUU! Not the blue shell!" the lilac-haired CPU cried in panic, as her on-screen vehicle was promptly destroyed. "I knew I should've picked up that big horn power-up...!"

"Looks like I'm in the lead now," John Smith muttered to himself... a minute later, his kart crossed the finish line. "Wow, I actually won a game against the CPUs themselves... well, two of them, anyway."

"Only because I opened the path to victory for you, so you better be grateful!" Noire insisted.

"Ah, I'm no good at these types of games," Itsuki Koizumi sighed as his kart came in last place. "I much prefer board games, anyway."

"Which you also suck at," John snarked. "But at least you're not a sore loser like Miss Alien Goddess..." Indeed, Haruhi had stomped outside after losing horribly twice, Rom and Ram heading after her on Blanc's orders to ensure she didn't blow her cover. As for Blanc herself, she was now explaining certain concepts of how Gamindustri worked with Neon Evangelion, Rei Ryghts putting in her two cents every so often.

Just then, the door slammed open, Vert coming in with snow on her head and bosom, trying to brush it off. "Honestly, how could you three gang up on me like that?!"

"Because it's more fun that way!" Haruhi said with a wide grin as she walked into the room, Rom and Ram on her heels. "Besides, it was these two terrors that nailed you the most!"

"That's right! When it comes to snowball fights, we never lose!" Ram proclaimed. "You should've seen what Haruhi did before that though- she made spaghetti and meatballs rain from the sky!"

"Nep what?!" Neptune gasped in shock, most of the others wearing similar expressions save Neon, who simply ducked her head.

"It was funny watching people run for their lives from the meatballs..." Rom said with a smile.

"What the hell?!" Blanc growled with a blood vein on her forehead. "I dunno how you did that, but you better undo it, NOW!"

"Hey, relax," Haruhi waved her off, "Everything's back to normal already, you can thank Vert for that."

"I just told her if she needed to blow off steam, she should have a snowball fight with Rom and Ram instead of warping reality," the busty CPU appended as she brushed off the last of the snow. "So, I guess you could say I brought this on myself..."

"Wait a nep!" Neptune said. "Haruhi, you _warp reality_ when you get upset?!"

"...not the first time milady has done something like this," Neon sighed. "Fortunately, I can eventually convince her to reverse or at least mitigate the damage..."

"Not like I mean to cause any real harm," the Animenga goddess shrugged. "It's all in good fun. By the way, Neon, learn anything useful from Blanc?"

"Yes, Ma'na- (ahem) Lady Haruhi," the alien Oracle nodded. "I will gladly share what I have learned with you via mind-meld..."

"Alrighty," Haruhi assented, walking up to Neon and placing her hands on her temples, closing her eyes... after a few moments, she opened them and stepped back. "Share Energy, huh... so basically, you 'Console Patron Units', as you call yourselves, have to keep the commoners happy or you go poof?"

"That's a rather simplistic way of putting it, but yes," Vert nodded.

"You're seriously okay with your goddess reading your mind like that?" Neptune couldn't help but ask.

"My goddess is the one who gave my existence meaning," Neon replied. "Before meeting her, I was no better than a doll who wished for an end to her pain..."

"Well, we can get into tragic backstories later," Haruhi shrugged. "Speaking of commoners... Kyon, Koizumi, what do you think of your goddess?"

"She's all right with me... and it's John, not Kyon."

"I am satisfied with her performance," Koizumi nodded. "It's very interesting though, how goddesses seem to differ between this world and your cluster... perhaps it is because of ya blah blah, blah blah blah blah..."

"Oh no, here he goes again," John Smith face-palmed.

"Yadda yadda, blah-de-blah-de-blah, blah blah blah..."

"I... fail to comprehend," Neon sweat-dropped.

"Me too," Haruhi grunted in confusion.

"I think we _all_ fail to comprehend," Noire spoke up.

At that point, Koizumi caught himself. "Ah, sorry, that was a joke."

"A joke?!" Blanc growled. "I think _you_ need to be penalized for wasting our damn time!"

"Leave that to me, Lady Blanc," John said as he grabbed Koizumi by the shirt. "Take note, Haruhi, this is how we penalize people in my neck of the woods." With that, he marched his fellow NPC out of the room...

_*Outside the Basilicom*_

_"Ahh!"_ Koizumi cried as he was tossed out the door, landing face-down in a snowbank. John nodded in satisfaction as he dusted off his hands, before heading back inside...

_*Back inside...*_

"Wow, nice toss there, Kyon," Haruhi complimented.

"I told you, my name is John Smith."

"Eh, Kyon suits you better, I think."

"Do you always re-name people on a whim?" the NPC said as he put his hands on his hips.

"We~ll, Neon here used to be called... well, it translates in your language as literally _'zero'._ And there was no way my new Oracle was gonna be a zero in any shape, manner, or form!" the brunette affirmed.

"I-I appreciate that, my goddess," Neon visibly blushed.

"O-kay, I'm sensing that this relationship is more than just master and servant," Neptune said with her eyes closed. "Kinda like Vert and her Oracle..."

"Neptune! I would beg you not to start those unsavory rumors here!" the busty CPU insisted with an angered expression.

"Right," the main character shrugged, "so those suggestive noises you make when Chika massages you are just _rumors,_ huh~?"

"N-now, that's...!" Vert began to sweat. "S-see here, I don't mind if Chika admires my body every now and then...!"

"Do you have any idea how wrong that sounds?!" Noire sighed. "Unlike you, I have my pride... I won't allow anyone to get familiar with my body, be they man or woman!"

"See~, now this is why you don't have any friends," Neptune taunted.

"I-I do too have a friend!" Noire shot back, blushing slightly. "A real one, not just my sister!"

"Yeah, the ex-yandere child soldier who wants to get jiggy with you in a cardboard box," Neptune retorted.

_"Y-yandere?!"_ Haruhi went pale. "Um, yeah, where I come from, yanderes usually either end up dead or locked up in a crazy house..."

"You don't say," John/Kyon muttered under his breath.

"N-Neptune's exaggerating!" Noire insisted, red-faced. "She's not like that anymore! You can ask Rei here if you don't believe me!"

"Meep!" Rei Ryghts gasped at being put on the spot after having been ignored for a while. "W-well, that's t-true... Her obsession w-with Lady Noire i-is a little unhealthy, b-but she's not really c-crazy anymore, f-from what I've observed..."

"Ah, so I assume that Noire's friend was one of your prior clients as a lawyer?" Neon observed.

"Y-yes, that's right," the ex-final boss nodded. "N-not to b-brag, b-but I've found myself handling c-cases all over Gamindustri..."

"Yeah, you should've seen the time she defended my kid sister from terrorism charges!" Neptune exclaimed. "Turned out to be a conspiracy from her former anti-CPU group from when she was our enemy... I still remember the look on that old professor's face when Rei exposed him as one of her former comrades!"

"Eh-heh-heh..." Rei blushed from the memory. "I might've g-gone a little o-overboard there, seeing as I was admonished b-by the j-judge..."

"With your personality?" Haruhi sweat-dropped. "No offense, but I kinda find that hard to believe..."

"...Is that so?" Rei's voice suddenly went an octave deeper. "Heh heh heh... foolish worm, you have _no_ idea! When I transform, my personality completely changes, and suddenly everyone is cowering in fear of me! Or did you forget I was a _final boss_ once, maggot?!"

"Whoa," the brunette visibly recoiled. "I-I, uh, stand corrected!"

"Speaking of transformations," Neon spoke up, "While I have witnessed Lady Blanc's Hard Drive Divinity, as you call it, I have yet to see the rest of yours..."

"You wanna see our HDD forms, huh? Okay then!" Neptune agreed with a smile. "Um, John or Kyon or whoever, ya might wanna stand back."

"Right," John Smith nodded, backing up and leaning against the wall.

"I-I decline," Rei shook her head. "I d-don't like t-to transform u-unless I really have t-to..."

"Fair enough," Haruhi nodded, "we'll let you off this time. So, anytime you're ready, ladies."

"Alrighty then!" Neptune proclaimed. "Here we go, everyone! 3, 2, 1, _Access!"_ The room was filled with light, and when it faded, all the CPUs save Rei were in their HDD forms, floating a few inches off the ground. "In this form, you may refer to me as Purple Heart. As I'm sure you already know, we only use these forms for battle or formal occasions."

After blinking a few times to get the spots out of her eyes, Haruhi couldn't help but grin in approval at seeing the goddesses' enhanced forms. "Sweeeet... you all got sexier! Well, except the kids, of course, but even they look like they've grown up a bit."

"You should have warned us about the light," Neon grunted, having opened her four other eyes to compensate for the two that were squeezed shut in pain.

"Yeah, it kinda multiplies when we all transform at once, huh?" White Heart muttered. "Sorry about that."

"Well, this is definitely a treat to see all your transformations at once, in person," John observed. "Especially Black Heart, I like the contrast of your hair with your outfit."

"Excuse me?!" White Heart grunted with a blood vein visible.

"Why, thank you," Black Heart bowed in gratitude. "And my combat prowess is also second to none!"

"I'm pretty sure I edge you out, Black Heart," Purple Heart disagreed. "After all, I am the main character."

"Please, you're first among equals at best!" Noire retorted. "After all, if the three of us ganged up on you, you wouldn't stand a chance!"

"I know that all too well," the Planeptune CPU sweat-dropped. "You all did that to me at the beginning of the very first game, after all..."

"Well, at least you understand you're not invincible," Green Heart appended. "But I'm sure we all agree that the Console Wars of old are a thing of the past... that we compete with each other in less violent manners."

"That's right!" the blue-haired White Sister agreed. "I don't want to fight against any of you!"

"Neither do I!" said the pink-haired White Sister. "We're all friends here, right?"

"Right," the four CPUs spoke as one, before reverting to normal, Rom and Ram soon following.

"That being said, before you get mad at me, Lady Blanc, I do believe that your current console is superior to the others," John stated. "And isn't that what really counts, anyway?"

"...True," Blanc admitted. "Fine, I'll let you off this once. Just watch your tongue next time!"

"Console Wars, huh?" Haruhi mused. "I guess we're kinda lacking in history of this world..."

"Well, Histy might be able to help with that!" Neptune stated. "Although, her lectures can last up to three hours, so you might wanna have some coffee ready..."

"Histy...?" Neon tilted her head curiously.

"She means Histoire, the Oracle of Planeptune," Vert expounded. "Technically, she's older than all of us, though you wouldn't know it by her appearance."

"Ok, then. It's decided!" Haruhi nodded. "We're heading to Planet-Tune next! And then we'll head to Lean-Box and say hi to the space team that launched the satellite we intercepted! Which leaves Last-Station for last!"

"Lastation! And that's not funny!" Noire protested, a vein bulging on her forehead.

"We will require a map of the continent so we do not get the destination wrong again," Neon requested.

"And you're coming along with us, Kyon!" Haruhi announced.

"Wait, what?! _Naze?!"_ the NPC sweat-dropped. "Why me?!"

"You said it yourself, you're as ordinary and average as they come," Haruhi pointed out. "So, it'd really help to have a ground-level point of view, if you get my drift."

"B-but... I'm still in high school!" Kyon protested. "I can't just go off on some wild world tour! What will my parents say? How would I explain it to them?!"

"Oh, I'm sure Blanc can explain things to them! Right, Blanc?" Haruhi turned to the flat-chested goddess.

"Uh..." Blanc ducked her head. "Well, if it's a choice between this or Haruhi raining spaghetti and meatballs on our heads again... Sorry, John Smith, you're going with her. I'll try to smooth things over with your parents."

"Yare yare," the NPC face-palmed. "Well, at least I won't have to deal with Koizumi for awhile..."

"Then the rest of us will return to our nations and prepare," Vert stated. "I have some work to catch up on, anyway..."

"Yeah, me too," Noire admitted.

"Just make sure you get a nap in, okay Noire?" Neptune said. "You don't put on a good look with those bags under your eyes... maybe you could get K-Sha to cuddle with you if counting sheep doesn't work!"

_"NEPTUNE!"_ the tsundere yelled as she drew her rapier. "You better not let me catch you!" She promptly chased the lilac-haired goddess out of the room, causing everyone else to sweat-drop...

_*To be continued...*_

Next, Haruhi, Neon and Kyon, er, _John Smith_ visit Planeptune! But will Underling and co. have a nasty surprise waiting for them? Find out next time! ;)


	8. Chapter 7- Welcome to Planeptune

Been sick for a few days, but now I'm back in form!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 7- Welcome to Planeptune

_*In an underground bunker at the outskirts of Planeptune City...*_

"Authorities are still searching for the escaped convict known only as Linda," the newswoman stated on the TV. "Originally an operative of the Arfoire Syndicate of International Crime, or ASIC for short, Linda was also recently involved in a conspiracy by the anti-CPU Citizen's Group to discredit CPU Candidate Nepgear by framing her for a terrorist attack..."

"Come on! Isn't there anything else on?!" said escaped convict muttered as she munched on some week-old potato chips.

"It's just basic cable, chu! Nothing good on any of the channels!" Warechu shrugged helplessly. "Man, I envy that Citrus kid, she can go out whenever she likes, cause she's not a wanted criminal, chu!"

"Eh, the less I have to deal with that hyper girl, the better," Linda shrugged, rummaging for another handful of chips... only to be caught by surprise as her cell phone suddenly started ringing, causing her to fall off the couch in shock. "Crap!" Quickly righting herself, she grabbed at her phone which slipped out of her greasy fingers and clattered to the floor. "Argh!" she grunted as she wiped her hands on her coat, before grabbing the cell again and finally answering. "H-Hello? Hello!"

"Underling #3," came the voice of her boss, "I've just received word that the CPUs are returning to their respective nations, and that the alien goddess of the Animenga Cluster is accompanying Neptune for the time being. I'm sending some of my new recruits to your locations, along with a device with which we will execute our next evil plot..."

"Uh... w-with all due respect, sir, not that I don't wanna get revenge on Neptune and Nepgear, but I don't feel getting vaporized or disintegrated by that alien goddess! I won't go on a suicide mission!"

"That's where Citrus comes in," Momus replied calmly. "Is she with you right now?"

"Uh... she went out to play with Dogoo Man," Linda replied.

"I see... in that case, when the time comes, you will tell Dogoo Man to direct Citrus to infiltrate the Basilicom, and draw Neptune and Nepgear out to your location... I believe they will think that the Animenga goddess' assistance will be unnecessary in attempting to capture you. Now then, this is what I want you to do next..."

_*On the streets of Planeptune City...*_

"Wow, this is totally technologically advanced!" Haruhi said in awe, as she, Neon, Neptune and John Smith rode a solid-light platform down a transport tunnel, which was transparent enough for the group to observe the architecture.

"It's a little much," John admitted. "I mean, it's a nice place to visit, but I'm not so sure I'd want to live here..."

"Unsurprising, given that you have lived in Lowee for all of your life," Neon stated. "Am I wrong?" John just shook his head in response.

"Well, some of the other cities might be more up your alley," Neptune shrugged. "Anyway, see that tall spire in the center? That's the Basilicom where I live!"

"It appears that's where we're headed," Neon observed. "Histoire will be there, then?"

"Yup! And my kid sister, too!" Neptune exclaimed. "Fair warning, though, once she finds out that you're aliens, she'll probably start asking if you've got giant robots and the like..."

"I never want to see another giant robot for as long as I live," Neon muttered under her breath.

"She's got personal history with those things," Haruhi quickly explained. "I'll handle the giant robot issue in her stead."

"I always thought giant robots were too impractical for real-life scenarios, anyway," John spoke up.

"There miiiight be a few people in Leanbox who disagree with you on that front... Oops, we're almost there!" Neptune said, the platform coming to a stop at the end of the tunnel, the group promptly stepping off and taking some stairs to street level. "Okay, only a short walk to the Basilicom now!"

_*Planeptune Basilicom*_

A few minutes later, the quartet entered the Basilicom, Neptune greeting a few of the priests who were working at their desks, closely monitoring the Shares' ebb and flow. "Wow, these priests take their job seriously, huh?" Haruhi observed.

"Well, someone has to, unlike our CPU," one priest snarked.

"Hey, low blow!" Neptune protested. "Man, I get no respect... I always come through in the clutch when it counts!"

"Except for that time you got beaten by the Gold Third," John said sarcastically.

"Well, excuse me, Kyon! I can't do anything about hopeless boss fights! They're unwinnable for a reason, ya know!" the CPU sighed.

"Interesting how you frame discussions as if we are in a video game," Neon mused.

"It's called GAME-industry for a reason, Neon," Haruhi pointed out. "So, where's Histoire at?"

"Probably in my office, doing my paperwork, if Nep Jr. isn't doing it herself," Neptune replied. "Oh, hey there, Compa!"

"Hello, Nep Nep!" the busty nurse greeted with a smile. "Who are these people...? New friends of yours?"

"Something like that," Haruhi nodded. "I'm Haruhi Suzumiya, this is Neon Evangelion, and that's Kyon!" The NPC just sighed as he put his hands in his pockets. "We come from far away, so Neptune's showing us around!"

"I'm from Lowee," Kyon sighed under his breath.

"Oh, well it's very nice to meet you all!" Compa bowed politely. "If you're looking for Histoire, I think she's having a discussion with Iffy and Nepgear at the moment..."

"Iffy...? What kind of parents give their kid a name like that?" Haruhi wondered.

"It's a nickname, she's actually named IF," Neptune explained. "She's an agent for the Intelligence Division of the Planeptune Guild..."

"So it's a codename then," Neon guessed.

"Eh, believe what ya want, but I've known her as Iffy ever since we met," the CPU said. "Anyway, let's go crash the meeting! Maybe Iffy's found info on that server who fed me eggplant pudding!"

"Well, he's signed his death warrant if that's the case," Kyon sweat-dropped. "Lady Neptune _hates_ eggplant with a passion..."

"Ahh," Haruhi and Neon gasped and nodded in comprehension.

_*And so, a few minutes later...*_

"So, yeah, we haven't been able to find any proof that these incidents were tied together..." IF said to Histoire and Nepgear as Neptune and the others approached. "Oh, hey there, Nep! Back already?"

"Hey there, Iffy, Histy, Nep Jr!" Neptune greeted with a wave. "I brought back some new friends! This is Haruhi, this is Neon, and-"

"That's Kyon!" Haruhi finished for her, causing the NPC to duck his head in annoyance.

"...I assume this has something to do with your meeting with the other CPUs in Lowee?" Histoire inquired.

"Yeah, something like that..." the CPU put a hand behind her head. "Um, Neon, how 'bout you give everyone the low-down?"

"...Low-down?" the pale girl tilted her head in confusion.

"She means explain who you are and why you're here," Kyon supplied.

"Oh! ...Very well then." Neon stepped forward, bowing lightly to the trio. "First of all, let me say: Do not be alarmed. We hail from the Animenga Star Cluster, and we come in peace."

"Star cluster...?" Histoire's eyes went wide.

"W-w-what the goodness?!" Nepgear gasped with the classic Nepgya-face. "Y-you're aliens?!"

"Yep! I'm the goddess of Animenga, and Neon is my Oracle," Haruhi stated. "You might say we're on a world tour of sorts... Hm? Something wrong, Neon?" She looked over at her subordinate.

"You... IF, correct?" Neon stared at the brunette critically. "You did not react with the same level of shock as the other two... indicating that you were already aware of our true natures."

"Wow, good guess," IF sweat-dropped.

"Wait a nep! How is that even possible?! We just got here!" Neptune cried in surprise and disbelief.

"...Koizumi," Kyon spoke up. "Clever bastard, now it all makes sense..."

"Koizumi?" Haruhi and Neptune turned to the NPC.

"Itsuki Koizumi," IF nodded. "He's our liaison with the Lowee Guild's Intelligence Division."

"He's a spy?!" Neptune's eyes shrunk to circles.

"What the hell, Kyon?! Why didn't you tell us sooner?!" Haruhi demanded angrily.

"Like I said, I'm good at keeping secrets," the high-school student shrugged. "He must've contacted IF here right after I threw him out of the Basilicom... hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he made that nonsensical lecture on purpose to have an excuse to make an exit without looking suspicious. Played me like a fiddle, as usual..."

"You must be John Smith," Iffy observed. "Itsuki's said that he's quite fond of you..."

_"Thank you,_ goddess! Finally, someone who gets my name right," John threw up his hands in semi-jubilation.

"Okaaaay, getting back on-topic," Neptune said, "I assume you've told the spy agencies in the other nations too?"

"That's right," IF nodded, "but they've agreed to keep it quiet for now, so we don't cause panic in the streets..."

"Well, that's a relief," Haruhi sighed. "I wasn't planning on going public until we visited Lean-Box at the earliest..."

"By the way, Iffy, you find anything on that fake server who poisoned me?" Neptune inquired insistently.

"Uh, you do realize you didn't give us much to go on, Nep," IF sweat-dropped. "If you'd given us a better description of the guy..."

"Believe me, I've tried and tried to recall, but I just get 'data-not-found' every time," the goddess lamented. "It's like one of those dreams that totally vape on you as soon as you wake up..."

"I didn't really get a good look at him either," Nepgear admitted sadly. "I was more concerned about saving Neptune..."

"Well, let's put that aside for now," Histoire suggested. "Was there any specific reason you brought these aliens here first? And please don't say it's because you're the protagonist."

"That is not it," Neon shook her head. "In order to better understand this world, we require knowledge of its history... which would appear to be your primary function, given your name."

"Ah, I see," the all-knowing tome nodded. "Well, in that case, I would be happy to assist you... but we should head to a room where we can sit down and get comfortable, because this might take a while..."

"Just don't start at the very beginning, Histy, or we'll be sitting for three weeks!" Neptune moaned.

"Maybe you could start with when Neptune and I were first born, Histoire," Nepgear suggested.

"Sounds like a good compromise," Haruhi agreed.

"Well, in the meantime, I have to get back to Guild business," IF spoke up. "If I speak to Koizumi again, I'll tell him you said 'hi', John."

"Sure," the NPC nodded. "Just remember to hang up if he starts getting philosophical on you..." This elicited a chuckle from the Animenga goddess.

_*A short time later...*_

Citrus couldn't contain her excitement. Finally, Dogoo Man had told her that his boss said she could visit the Basilicom! Even though she was alone now, she knew the way there easily.

Jogging through the front door like she didn't have a care in the world, she waved to some of the priests, who smiled and greeted her warmly. One of them was even kind enough to tell her where the CPU maybe was! So she took the stairs (mostly because she wasn't tall enough to reach the buttons on the elly-vator), heading up to the third floor, then looking around...

Hearing voices, Citrus turned and ran to the door leading to the room where games were played and books were read, seeing her target, along with her sister, Histy, a man in shadow, and two other girls she didn't know. But that didn't matter now, as she dashed full-bore at the goddess...

One of the new girls turned and saw her. _"Incoming!"_ she cried.

The CPU turned in her direction. Her eyes went wide. Her mouth opened as if to scream.

Too late.

***BAM!***

_"AAAHHHHHH!"_ she cried in pain, slamming down hard on her back, Citrus landing on the girl's midsection.

"AHHAHAHAHA! I win! You're still so weak, Neptuna!"

"Nnnnngh..." Neptune lifted her head up weakly. "H-hi there, P-ko... where'd you come from?"

_*To be continued...*_

So tell me, how many of you managed to guess that Citrus was actually the little Peashy we all know and love? And how did Overlord Momus convince her to help his cause? And what nefarious plot does he have in mind for our beloved goddess this time? Stay tuned! ;)


	9. Chapter 8- Underling's Trap

Here comes a new chapter! Enjoy!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 8- Underling's Trap

"So not long after Neptune was born, I had to correct her misconception that a pregnant woman had eaten her baby," Histoire narrated to Haruhi and Neon, eliciting chuckles from the former, while the latter simply raised an eyebrow.

"Ugh, Histy, did you have to tell them that?!" the CPU in question buried her hands in her face.

"I never heard about that..." Nepgear realized. "But, that does kinda sound like something Neptune would do..."

"Yeah, I remember when my little sister asked me why this one woman's belly was so huge..." John Smith commented.

"It's always awkward, having to give someone 'The Talk', huh?" the Animenga goddess snickered. But then, something caught the corner of her eye, seeing a five-year-old girl come dashing into the room, heading straight for Neptune! _"Incoming!"_ she cried.

Too late.

***BAM!***

_"AAAHHHHHH!"_ Neptune cried in pain, slamming down hard on her back, the blonde child landing on the girl's midsection.

"AHHAHAHAHA! I win! You're still so weak, Neptuna!"

"Nnnnngh..." Neptune lifted her head up weakly. "H-hi there, P-ko... where'd you come from?"

"From home, silly!" came the reply.

"You know this child?" Neon guessed.

"Her name is Peashy," Nepgear explained. "She's an orphan that Neptune raised for a while... I like to think I helped too, but I was more of a punching bag than anything..."

"Don't you think you should've spanked her for that?" Haruhi pointed out.

"Pea was just playing with Gear!" Peashy protested as she jumped off Neptune. "Pea wasn't trying to hurt her like bad guys!"

"So you like to play 'hero', huh?" the brown-haired goddess walked over to Peashy, bending over to get a better look at the kid. "You use those cat paws to beat up the baddies?"

"That's right! Pea loves to beat up monsters and bad guys! Pow! Bam! Whack! Punch! It's so much fun!"

"That's so cute!" Haruhi chuckled as she ruffled Peashy's hair a little. "Just don't get in over your head, okay?"

"Pea can handle herself fine!" the blonde pouted. "Oh, that reminds Pea... there's a Punk Lady that wants to meet you, Neptuna! She uses bad words and calls CPUs dams for some reason..."

Neptune and Nepgear glanced at each other. "Um... what does this 'punk lady' look like, Peashy?" Nepgear asked.

"Umm..." Peashy closed her eyes in thought. "She got green hair, gray skin, wears a gray coat and a hood with mousey-ears!"

"Mousey-ears?!" The two sisters looked at each other again in realization. _"Underling!"_

"P-ko, where did you see her at?" Neptune queried.

"That park we go to all the time, with the tall twisty-slide!" the little girl replied.

"Okay, good girl!" the CPU smiled at her. "Why don't you go find Compa and have her make you some pudding as a reward!"

"Yay! I love pudding!" Peashy cried enthusiastically, promptly dashing out of the room.

"Will you require assistance in capturing this 'Underling'?" Neon asked.

"Nah, me and Nep Jr. can handle her ourselves easy," Neptune waved her off.

"Just as long as it's not another trap like she tried with Blanc," Nepgear pointed out.

"No worries, we're ready for her this time!" her sister stated optimistically. "But we better vamoose before she runs away on us again!"

"Well, if you don't come back in, say, a half-hour or so, we'll come after you!" Haruhi suggested.

"I appreciate it," Nepgear smiled in thanks. "Anyway we better get moving, like Neptune says..."

"I wish you good luck," Histoire said.

_*Soon, at the park in question...*_

"Any sign of her, Nep Jr?" Neptune asked as she and her sister walked down a paved trail, thier swords at the ready.

"Nothing yet," Nepgear shook her head. "But I'm sure she's around here somewhere..."

"Looking for someone, losers?" a familiar form stepped in front of the two goddesses.

"Underling! There you are!" Nepgear turned to face her old foe. "You've got some nerve, trying to trap Blanc in a bear trap the other day!"

"Yeah, well if it hadn't been for that stupid Warechu, I'd've got her for sure!" the punk girl growled. "But at least now I'm back in familiar territory!"

"Yeah, well _you're_ about to go back to jail!" Neptune pointed her sword at Underling. "Unless you've got one heck of a good strategy for beating us, that is!"

"Heh..." Linda smirked. "My strategy is simple... RUN AWAY!" She abruptly did an about-face and fled!

"Wh-HEY! You can't just run before the fight even starts!" Neptune's eyes shrank to circles.

"After her, Neptune!" Nepgear cried as she started to pursue Underling, forcing her sister to try and catch up...

"Heh... hook, line and sinker," Linda said under her breath as the two CPUs chased her. "Come on and catch me, you slowpokes!" She rounded a large oak tree, Nepgear and Neptune following after... but then the punk girl threw herself flat on the ground, underneath what appeared to be a double-barreled cannon!

"Oh, snap! It was a trap!" Neptune cried as she and Nepgear tried to halt their forward momentum-

***BOOM!*** The cannon fired twins globs of black goo which easily covered the goddesses, gluing them to the ground!

_"Eww!_ What the goodness?!" Nepgear cried in disgust as she tried to pull her arms free to no avail.

"Ha ha! It worked!" Linda jumped to her feet. "Warechu, get the pillows!"

"Got 'em right here, chu!" the mouse answered, carrying a small tower of large pillows over his head. Underling promptly swiped the top pillow off the pile, before tearing it apart, spreading feathers all over Neptune and Nepgear!

"What the- pfffft! Ptooey!" Neptune spat as some feathers got in her mouth.

"Cover 'em! Cover 'em!" Linda cried in glee as she and Warechu ripped up more pillows, spilling more and more feathers until the two sisters were completely covered. "In the old days, they called this 'tarring and feathering'!"

"This is your idea of revenge?!" Nepgear cried in disbelief, shaking her head as she tried to stop the feathers from obscuring her vision.

"Well, my boss says I can't kill you losers, but this is pretty satisfying, too!" Linda chuckled as she pulled out her cell phone. "Now say cheese, suckers!" She began to snap pictures of the feathered sisters, Warechu posing in front of them! "Wonder how your citizens'll react when they see you completely humiliated like this!"

"I'll bet they'll laugh their heads off, chu!" Warechu taunted as he gently poked at Neptune.

_"P-tooey!_ Back off, mouse!" Neptune said as she finally got the feathers out of her mouth. "You don't seriously think this tar's enough to hold me down, do ya?"

"Yeah, I do, chu!" the rodent retorted.

_"Ehhhhht!_ Wrong answer!" With that, the CPU was suddenly engulfed in a pillar of light! When it faded, Purple Heart floated in the air above, free of the tar and feathers!

"Uh-oh!" Linda's eyes went wide with fear.

"Hurry, Nepgear, you transform as well!"

"Oh, right, our HDD! I completely forgot!" Nepgear giggled, before promptly transforming and freeing herself as well.

_"Double uh-oh!"_ Underling and Warechu cried as they clung to each other in terror!

"Now then, Underling," Purple Heart shifted her sword into an attack pose, "if you're quite finished with your little prank, I believe it is time you returned to prison."

_"Shit!_ RUN AWAY FOR REAL!" Linda screamed as she took off, carrying Warechu over her shoulder as the HDD goddesses flew after in pursuit!

"You won't escape, Underling!" Purple Sister declared... only to stop as several anthropomorphic ravens suddenly blocked her path! "W-what the goodness?! Get out of the way!"

"Not on your life, caww!" one of the ravens taunted as they surrounded the CPUs.

"What in the- _Tenga?!"_ Purple Heart gasped in recognition. "But why are they here in Planeptune?!"

"Looks like they want to fight!" Nepgear said grimly, holding her laser blade in a defensive stance as the two stood back-to-back.

"Well, if it is a fight they want, then a fight they shall have!" Neptune exclaimed, before going on the attack!

_*To be continued...*_

Guess we know who Momus' new recruits are now! Will Neptune and Nepgear prevail? Will Haruhi and Neon come to help them? Will Linda escape to oppose the CPUs another day? (Okay, that last one was rhetorical.) Anyway, laugh and review!


	10. Chapter 9- Enter Dragon Ball

Here comes a new moe anime/manga personification! This was an obvious choice... ;-)

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 9- Enter Dragon Ball

_*Planeptune Basilicom*_

"So, after Nepgear broke the cursed sword, the CPUs and Oracles gathered back together, and we figured out a way to reforge the sword using Sharicite from all the nations... Excuse me, _wake up!_ Pay attention!" Histoire yelled.

"GAH-!" Haruhi jerked awake. "Ugh, sorry... I get so bored with lectures sometimes..."

"Milady, please try to be more attentive," Neon sighed. "It's bad form to fall asleep on your host, you know..."

"Yeah, at least I'm trying to pay attention," John Smith piled on. "After all, this might give me an edge on my next history exam..."

"Right, right..." the Animenga goddess sighed, before yawning. "Hey, how about we check on Neptune and her sister? They should've been back by now, anyway..." Waving her hand, something like a holo-screen materialized in front of the group, showing Neptune and Nepgear in their HDD forms! "Uh-oh, they're in a fight with some giant bird-men! And badly outnumbered!"

_(Music- 'Tenga Bye Bye'- Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, season 3)_

"Should we go assist them, Lady Haruhi?" Neon requested.

"Just keep me out of it," John said as he got up and backed off a ways.

"Cut me some slack, Kyon, I wouldn't throw you into a situation like that!" the goddess shook her head. "Anyway, Neon, let's go! Stick to hand-to-hand, so we don't blow our cover!"

"Understood!" the Oracle agreed. With that, reality shifted around the duo as they warped to the park! The alien girl immediately went into action, striking a nearby Tenga in the throat, before kicking him in the knee-joint, then following up with a quick roundhouse that sent the raven to the ground!

"Hee-ya!" Haruhi yelled as she jumped and wrapped her legs around a Tenga's head, before flipping him violently to the ground! She then spun and tripped another Tenga to the ground, before jumping up and giving the raven a few kicks to the head to ensure he stayed down.

"Caww! Where'd these two come from?!" Another Tenga cried in panic, barely dodging a sword strike from Purple Heart!

"Haruhi, Neon, you're here!" Purple Sister acknowledged as she blasted the bird-men with her arm cannon!

"We told you we'd come for ya if you got in trouble!" the alien goddess asserted as she flip-kicked one Tenga into another. She then did an impromptu handstand on another Tenga's shoulders, before swinging her feet down and knocking the raven flat, rolling backwards into a fighting stance! "Any more wanna try me?!"

"Milady, don't antagonize them!" Neon chastised as she dodged a Tenga's punch, grabbing and pulling in the same direction, causing the bird to trip on a tree root and crash to the ground! Another one tried to drop on her from above, but the alien managed to flip him to the ground, before stomping on his crotch, causing the bird to screech in pain! Yet another Tenga flew in to help his comrade, but Neon leaped and kicked him squarely in the solar plexus, causing him to fall to the earth in a heap!

"They're too much for us! Let's get outta here, caww!" The Tenga promptly took flight and fled into the sky to fight another day.

"Yeah, that's right, you better run, birdbrains!" Haruhi called after them. "Neptune, Nep Jr, you two okay?"

"They appear to be unharmed," her Oracle observed.

"We are grateful for your assistance, unnecessary though it was," Purple Heart stated.

"I-it's Nepgear, but yes, thanks for helping," Purple Sister said as she and Neptune reverted to normal. "Too bad Underling got away, though..." She then explained what had transpired...

"Tar and feathers? Seriously?" Haruhi ducked her head. "So she was just taking embarrassing pictures, huh?"

"Well, they could affect our Shares negatively..." Nepgear began, before screaming in surprise as another woman just appeared next to Haruhi! "W-what the goodness?! Who is that?!"

The woman in question had two fingers pressed to her forehead with her eyes closed in apparent concentration, though she quickly withdrew her fingers and opened her eyes, which were black in color. Her hair was also black, and slightly spiky, which contrasted with the sleeveless orange karate gi she wore. The woman also wore blue boots and a blue undershirt which showed some slight cleavage from her B+ bust, as well as a wooden staff on her back and what appeared to be a monkey's tail wrapped around her waist. She turned to the Animenga goddess and started complaining in an alien language...

"Oh, geesh, you just had to show up out of nowhere, didn't you?!" Haruhi facepalmed, before sighing and snapping her fingers. "Okay, everyone can understand you now."

"Lady Lilith, why did you just disappear on me?! I was just about to challenge you to a rematch, and you were nowhere to be found!" the mysterious woman complained. "I just barely managed to find Neon's energy with Instant Transmission!"

"Okay, first of all, don't call me Lilith!" Haruhi yelled at her. "You know I dislike that name! While we're here, you call me Lady Haruhi! Second, as a goddess I've got far more important things to deal with than satisfying your stupid bloodlust!"

"You could've at least left a note or something!" the woman retorted.

"Whoa, whoa, time-out!" Neptune interrupted. "Haruhi, who is this girl anyway?!"

"You might say she's... a disciple of mine," the brunette replied. "DB, introduce yourself. And keep in mind that these two are goddesses like myself, so show the proper respect!"

"Of course!" the disciple nodded, turning and bowing to Neptune and Nepgear. "Hello, I'm Dragon Ball! Nice to meet you!"

"Heya! I'm Neptune, and this is my little sister Nepgear! We're the goddesses of Planeptune, where you happen to be right now!"

"Hello there, Miss Dragon Ball!" Nepgear greeted politely.

"Just Dragon Ball is fine. Or you can call me DB!" the raven-haired woman said. "So, why are we here, anyway?"

"Basically, one of Neptune's neighboring nations launched a satellite into our cluster that we intercepted," Neon explained. "So we decided to establish first contact with the people of this world. Lady Haruhi and I are currently in this nation to learn about the history of this world, which is known as Gamindustri."

"Wait, this world's outside the whole cluster?!" Dragon Ball freaked. "Man, no wonder it was so hard to find you!"

"Since you said something about a rematch, I'm guessing you're a martial artist, Dragon Ball?" Nepgear inquired.

"You know it! There's nothing I love more than a good fight!" DB grinned. "I actually tried fighting Lili- *ahem* I mean, Lady Haruhi awhile back, but I stood no chance at all..."

"I was visiting the overseer-god for her world," Haruhi explained, "and this idiot challenged me, thinking that because she was stronger than said overseer, she could take me. So I decided to teach her a lesson, let her power up to max, then I gave her a flick to the forehead and a chop to the neck- down she went. Served her right for thinking she was on the level of the divine..."

"Aw, come on, I told you I don't care about being a god!" Dragon Ball said with a hand behind her head.

"If that's the case, why'd you take her as a disciple?" Neptune queried.

"Well, as it turned out, she's actually a survivor of a near-extinct warrior race," the Animenga goddess said. "And she managed to discover a ritual where her other fellow survivor and their children combined their powers to boost her up to a level where I actually had to put in a bit of effort to defeat her next time."

"At which point milady decided that it was too dangerous to leave Dragon Ball to her own devices, so she decided to take her under her wing, to keep a watchful eye over her," Neon finished.

"Sheesh, I don't think of myself as a hero of justice or anything like that, but I'm no villain, either!" DB sighed in annoyance.

"Anyway, how 'bout we continue this conversation back at the Basilicom?" Neptune suggested. "Haruhi, if you could warp us all back, please..."

"No problem!" the brunette agreed, raising a hand, causing the scene to shift from the park to inside the Basilicom where Histoire and John Smith were.

"Oh, welcome back," the all-seeing tome greeted. "I see you have a new companion with you..."

"Hiya, I'm Dragon Ball!" the fighter introduced herself. "I'm training under Lady Lilith- I mean, Haruhi- to surpass all my limits!"

"She's like a friendly blood knight," Neptune clarified, then an idea occurred to her. "Hey, I know! Maybe Uzume could use a sparring partner!"

"Hey, sure, I'm up for that!" DB punched a fist into her hand.

"If you're gonna fight, take it outside to a wide-open space!" Haruhi warned. "Also, _please_ try not to start destroying the landscape like you usually do! It's so much hassle having to clean up after your messes, ya know!"

"Ahaha, I'll try not to," Dragon Ball grinned sheepishly. "So where's this Uzume at?"

"Well, her energy should be similar to ours, so you could probably use your Instant Transmission to teleport to her," Nepgear suggested.

"Alrighty then," the martial artist assented, closing her eyes and putting two fingers to her forehead. "...Okay, I think I've found her!" With that, she abruptly vanished into thin air.

"Hope Uzume doesn't get too surprised by her," Neptune muttered. "Anyway... sorry, Histy, but Underling got away from us, even after we escaped her trap..."

"Apparently it involved tar and feathers," Neon supplied. "And that underling took several pictures as well..."

"...I warned you about this, Neptune," Histoire sighed. "False confidence is the greatest enemy. Even knowing that Underling had nearly caught Blanc in a trap that she only escaped by luck, you still ended up falling into her trap anyway, even if you did manage to escape... and if those pictures she took ended up being posted on the Internep, it could have a negative impact on your Shares..."

"Unless they think it's funny and laugh their heads off," Haruhi suggested.

"We might have still been able to capture her if those bird-men hadn't interfered," Nepgear helpfully pointed out.

"Yeah, what's the deal with those freaks, anyway?" the alien goddess queried. "Are they her minions or something?"

"Actually, they were working for a Demon Lord that tried to conquer Vert's nation a short time ago," Neptune explained. "But, we sent that demon packing, and those Tenga were supposed to be locked up at Leanbox City Zoo, with a dome force-field and everything!"

"Is it possible that they somehow escaped?" Neon suggested.

"If so," Histoire spoke up, "then we should contact Vert as soon as possible, so she can investigate the situation..."

_*Later, back at Ho-Hum HQ...*_

"I'm sorry, Overlord Momus, sir!" Linda kneeled and bowed her head to the ground in fear. "Please don't punish us for failing you!"

"W-we didn't think they'd free themselves so easily, chu!" Warechu added, hunched in a similar position.

"...Answer me this," Momus spoke after a moment, "did you manage to take the pictures?"

"Y-yeah, I did! Got 'em right here!" Linda fumbled for a moment before taking out her phone and holding it up. The horned man took the mobile device and started scrolling through the pictures...

"...Well, excellent photography," he commented after a moment. "Despite events going sideways at the last moment, we can still upload these on Nepimgur for all to see. At the very least, Neptune and Nepgear should feel quite humiliated upon seeing these, which will likely earn them a lecture from their Oracle. So, we'll call this a 'tentative success'. You may rise."

"R-really?!" Linda gasped, slowly rising to her feet. "Y-you're not gonna punish us, then?"

"No. If anything, the failure was mine," Overlord Momus lamented. "I failed to anticipate that the CPUs could simply use their transformations to free themselves..." Something then caught his eye, seeing Dogoo Man and Peashy walk in, the latter in her HDD form of Yellow Heart, the two carrying a couple of injured Tenga, with the rest of the birds coming in behind them. "Ah, welcome back. It seems we have a few casualties..."

"We got surprised by two more girls showing up, caww!" complained the Tenga being carried by Yellow Heart. "They were good, really good! And they didn't even have weapons like the CPUs, caww!"

"Describe them to me," Momus ordered. So the ravens did as ordered... "Haruhi and Neon, you say? Hmmm..."

"Oh, I know who they are!" Yellow Heart exclaimed. "Those were the two girls with Neptuna, Gear and Histy when I went to visit!"

"Truly?!" the horned man jerked his head up. "Then... they must have been the alien goddess and her Oracle! They must have somehow divined that Neptune and Nepgear were in distress and went to assist them! We may have escaped utter ruination by the skin of our teeth!"

"Boy, guess it's a good thing we escaped when we did, huh?" Dogoo Man stated. "Not even my muscles could've done anything against those aliens, I bet!"

"So why didn't they just vaporize us, caww?" one Tenga spoke up.

"Obviously, they are trying to stay under the radar until the time comes for them to reveal themselves publicly," Momus responded. "So for the time being, we should restrict our operations in Planeptune to those that cannot be easily traced back to us..."

"So what's goin' on in the other nations, chu?" Warechu asked.

"Generic Ninja #25 is en route to Planeptune to glean further information," the leader stated. "Generic Thief #11 and Generic Animal #10 are in a 'holding pattern' on the outskirts of Gargan City, but Generic Soldier #20 is preparing to enact a plot in Lastation, since that appears to be the last location the aliens will visit..."

"So what should we do?" Dogoo Man asked his boss.

"You will accompany Miss Linda and Warechu to Leanbox to join up with the other two, and await my order to move against Vert," Momus ordered. "Citrus, you should return to Neptune for the time being, so as not to arouse suspicion."

"Okay!" Yellow Heart saluted. "You three have fun without me!" With that, she promptly spread her wings and flew off...

"The only fun I'll have is screwing those CPUs over," Linda muttered. "Hopefully next time I won't have to run like a Choco-*ahem* 'horse-bird' with it's head cut off..."

"Hey watch it, those are distant relatives of ours!" a Tenga complained. "Would you like it if we talked about cutting a monkey's head off, caww?!"

Overlord Momus could only face-palm as Underling and the bird-men started arguing. (Ugh, I suppose beggars can't be choosers when it comes to minions... But still, what a bunch of idiots...)

_*To be continued...*_

Next, a sparring match between Dragon Ball and Uzume! And what sinister plans does Soldier #20 have for Lastation? Find out next chapter!


	11. Chapter 10- Dragon Ball vs Uzume

It's goddess vs. Saiyan! Get ready, FIGHT!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 10- Dragon Ball vs. Uzume

_*Planeptune Basilicom- Training Room*_

"Uh! Uh! Hah!" Uzume Tennouboshi grunted as she pounded away on a punching bag. Though her hair was in its usual style, she was currently wearing an orange tank top and black exercise shorts with white sneakers, her hands still wearing her usual fighting gloves. Stepping back, the redhead wiped some sweat from her brow, only to hear a strange sound from right beside her, instinctively turning and swinging a haymaker-

-catching Dragon Ball right in the left cheek! "OW!" the raven-haired woman cried in surprise as she fell on her butt from the unexpected attack. "What was that for?!"

"For trying to ambush me, that's what!" Uzume retorted. "Who are you and why did you try to sneak up on me?!"

"You've got it all wrong, I wasn't tryin' to sneak up on anyone!" DB protested, putting a hand to her cheek. "Your friend Neptune said you needed a sparring partner, so I teleported to your location by pinpointing your energy! I don't do sneak attacks unless it's a life-or-death kinda fight!"

"Nepsy sent you?" Uzume's expression softened a little. "Well, sheesh, why didn't you say so?" She held out her hand, Dragon Ball accepting it and getting pulled up to her feet. "Seriously, though, next time come in the door, OK?"

"I'll try to remember that," DB nodded. "By the way, my name's Dragon Ball. You're... Uzume, right?"

"Uzume Tennouboshi, that's me!" the CPU smirked. "Bet you wish you had a dope name like that, instead of being named after balls!"

"Blame Grandpa for that," Dragon Ball ducked her head. "Um, anyway, Lady Li- Haruhi says that if we fight, we should head to a wide-open space... I kinda have a tendency to start destroying the landscape when I get rolling..."

"Who's this Haruhi character, though?" the redhead asked. So Dragon Ball explained where she came from and why they were here... "You're aliens?! Whoa, that's awesome!" Uzume said with stars in her eyes.

"Ah-heh..." DB grinned with a hand behind her head. "It's really not anything that spectacular... I mean, Oracle Neon is more 'alien' looking than I am... I'm just a martial artist who loves a good spar! So, you know any wide-open fields nearby?"

"I know a place outside the city, sure," the redhead nodded. "But it'd take a while to get there, even by bus..."

"Hey, no worries. I can fly, after all!" DB said, levitating a half-foot off the ground to prove her point. "You'd be willin' to let me carry you over there?"

"...Sure, I guess," Uzume nodded after a moment. "I mean, I can fly when I transform, but I'd rather be as fresh as possible to face you..."

"You can transform, too? Great! Now I won't have to hold back as much as I thought!" the spiky-haired woman grinned. "Alright, let's head outside so I can fly you over to where we can cut loose!"

"Okay!" Uzume agreed...

_*A few minutes later, in aforementioned wide-open field...*_

"You gonna be okay?" DB asked as she observed Uzume sitting on the ground, a bit dizzy. "Maybe I shouldn't've flown so fast..."

"Just need a minute," the CPU grunted, slowly getting to her feet after a few seconds, shaking her head before smacking herself with both hands a few times. She then took a fighting stance, dancing in place a little before turning and throwing a few jabs, then turning the opposite direction and repeating. "...okay, I think I'm ready now!"

"All right!" Dragon Ball grinned as she took her own stance. "Let's go, Uzume!"

"Okay!" With that, the two women charged each other with fists cocked, said fists then thrusting forward and colliding, causing a shockwave through the field which roiled the grass! "Geez, it's like punching a rock!"

"Glad to see you didn't get blown away!" DB complimented. She then lashed out with a high kick that was ducked under, Uzume attempting to sweep her other leg, only for the martial artist to roll away and right herself! Uzume then went in with a right straight which was blocked, the two then trading rapid punches faster than the eye could see! Realizing they were evenly matched, Dragon Ball broke off and jumped into the air, spreading her hands over her face! _"Taiyoken!"_ Immediately a bright light filled the area, forcing Uzume to cover her eyes from the intensity! Touching down, DB went on the attack, only for the redhead to grab her arm and throw her over her shoulder! "Huh?!"

"Nice try, but I've had to fight in really dark places before!" Uzume taunted. "So I know a thing or two about how to fight blind!" She jumped away as Dragon Ball tried to sweep her legs, taking a defensive stance as her opponent rushed in again, blocking several punches to the face, only to gasp in pain as DB abruptly changed direction and connected with a body blow! But by this time, Uzume's eyesight had recovered, allowing her to grab her opponent's other fist, then deliver a knee to the gut, before rolling backwards and throwing her head over heels!

Dragon Ball rolled and flipped away a few yards, turning to face her opponent again. "Not bad! But let's see how you handle this!" She raised both arms in the air, spreading her fingers... "KA..." She moved her arms down in a circular motion. "ME..." She then brought her hands together at the wrists, her right hand atop her left. "HA..." She pulled her hands to her right side... "ME..." A bright light began to shine between her cupped hands...

Uzume said nothing in response, simply summoning her megaphone in her hand.

"HAAAAAAAAA!" Dragon Ball thrust her hands forward, shooting a bright blue beam of energy directly at the redhead, who brought her megaphone to her lips...

**"AAAAAAAAHHH!"** The sound waves caused the energy blast to halt in midair, wavering, then dispelling entirely! As for DB herself, she was forced to clap her hands over her ears from the noise, leaving her open as Uzume swiftly threw her megaphone and nailed her in the face, the CPU then rushing in and hitting the martial artist with an elbow to the solar plexus, following up with rapid-fire fisticuffs to the face and chest, finishing with a final straight that sent DB skidding back several feet, her arms crossed in a blocking position. "Wow, you must be pretty fast to block that follow-up!" She put up her dukes as Dragon Ball rushed in again, the two trading punches at breakneck speed for a bit, ending with a cross-counter, causing them both to stumble away!

"Ngh... I think that'll do for a warmup," DB stated. "What say we take this up a notch? You said you could transform, right?"

"Yeah, I did," Uzume nodded. "Just so you know, my personality changes a bit when I go HDD, so don't be too shocked, alright?" With that, she stood straight and took a deep breath before crying, _"Access!"_ The CPU was engulfed in a pillar of light, which faded to reveal her orange-haired Hard Drive Divinity form. "Ta-daaaa! Orange Heart, the heroine of love and dreams is here!"

"Wow, that's quite a change," Dragon Ball observed. "My transformation's not quite so drastic, but..." She spread her feet and hunched down, clenching her fists. _"Haaaaaaaa...!"_ She focused her energy at the spot of her back where the heart and lungs were located, her black eyes turning to aqua green, her hair spiking up and standing on end completely as it also turned green, then brightened further to a pale yellow, a golden aura surrounding the warrior as her transformation completed! "In this form, you can refer to me as _Super Dragon Ball Z!"_

"Wow! That's super dee duper!" Orange Heart complimented as she slowly rose into the air, DB doing the same. "But Uzume's still gonna send you to dreamland!"

"Heh, we'll see about that!" Super DBZ grinned, before rushing forward with an outstretched fist, Uzume barely blocking the punch with her arm-shield! With a shove, Orange Heart was sent careening toward the ground, but she managed to catch herself on a small rock outcropping! The CPU then pushed off, flying at high speed toward her opponent, who managed to block the tackle, Uzume bouncing off!

But she stopped in midair, holding up her megaphone... **"Dream Roar!"** she screamed, causing a sound wave that forced Dragon Ball to the ground, covering her ears in agony! "And now... _Dream Smash Fist!"_ Her right arm was enveloped in a spiral of energy resembling a drill, charging downward at her opponent, only to drill into the ground as the Super Saiyan jumped back into the air!

"Nice try!" Dragon Ball taunted, only for Orange Heart to erupt from the ground, her drill fist still spinning at high speed! The martial artist fired an energy blast, only for the drill to dispel it easily, before slamming into Super DBZ's midsection! _"Gahhh!"_ she cried as she doubled over... (Man, am I glad I haven't eaten recently, or I'd've lost my lunch!) Uzume then took her megaphone and slammed it into Dragon Ball's back, smashing her into the ground!

"Uzume thinks you really really underestimated her!" the goddess critiqued as she watched the other woman climb back to her feet. But then Super DBZ just vanished into thin air! "Huh?!" Orange Heart looked around frantically, only to be surprised when Dragon Ball reappeared right in front of her, kicking the CPU in the chin and snapping her head back! Despite this, Uzume managed to partially block the follow-up roundhouse, though it still sent her flying a fair distance. "Uzume spoke too soon...!"

"You got that right! _KAMEHAMEHA!"_ Dragon Ball declared as she fired her signature energy attack at Orange Heart. But before Uzume could blast it away with her mega phone again, the beam suddenly changed direction, curving around and nailing the CPU in the back, causing her to fall back to the ground! "C'mon, get up, it couldn't've hurt that bad! That was just a _bluff_ Kamehameha, anyhow!"

"You tricky meanie!" Uzume growled as she jumped back to her feet, launching into the air again! _"Dream Combo!"_ She once again attacked with rapid fire fisticuffs, Super DBZ matching her blow for blow, but the goddess held back her final punch just long enough to mess up her opponent's timing, connecting and sending her flying away!

"Oh yeah?! How about this?!" Dragon Ball cried as she rapid-fired multiple energy blasts from her palms, Orange Heart quickly deflecting them, slowly closing the distance... But then the Super Saiyan vanished, before abruptly tackling her opponent in the side, sending her crashing into the rock outcropping from earlier, the impact halfway reducing it to rubble! "Gotcha!"

"P-tooey!" Orange Heart spat out gravel as she emerged from the rock pile. "OK, time for Uzume's special attack! _Umio Heaven!"_ Five drones in the shape of her fish companion Umio appeared, the CPU pointing at Super DBZ, causing said drones to fly above and begin dropping bombs on her location!

"Oh no you don't!" Dragon Ball cried as several small energy blasts shot upward from her hands, blowing up the bombs before they could hit their target! She then blocked the follow-up blow from Orange Heart... "Nice try!" she taunted.

"Silly Dragsy! Uzume has you right where she wants you!" the goddess grinned, before breaking away, her opponent turning to see the Umio-drones flying down at her in a kamikaze strike!

_"OH SHI-!"_ ***KA-BOOM!***

"Direct hit!" Orange Heart gave a mock salute, before dodging a retaliatory Kamehameha, then jetting forward and hitting Dragon Ball with a hard knee to the gut, following with a roundhouse kick that sent the Super Saiyan into the nearby forest, splintering a few trees in the process! But then Dragon Ball launched into the air again, her golden aura flaring brightly as she cocked her fist back for a punch, Uzume flying forward as she did the same...

Their punches collided- but not with each other. Instead they had been stopped by a hexagonal force-field surrounding a seven-eyed angel with crystalline wings and an ethereal glow!

"Huh?!" Orange Heart gasped in surprise. "Who are you?"

"O-Oracle Neon?!" Dragon Ball realized.

"This fight is over," Neon Evangelion stated firmly as her force field faded. "Did Lady Haruhi not specifically tell you NOT to start destroying the landscape?!" She indicated the destroyed rock outcropping, the torn-up field, and the splintered trees.

"Uh..." Super DBZ sweat-dropped as her eyes went blank.

"Oopsie..." Orange Heart looked down in shame, her right foot twitching as if she was trying to dig her toe into the ground, despite floating in midair. "Uzume got a little carried away..."

"At least you admit fault, like a proper goddess should," the alien nodded, before turning to the other woman. "Undo your transformation. Now."

"Aw man!" DB sighed as her aura vanished, her hair and eyes returning to their normal color. "I'm getting a penalty for this, aren't I...?"

"Most likely, though the severity of the penalty will depend on milady," Neon stated. "Now let us return to Planeptune Basilicom..." She promptly spread her wings and flew off, Orange Heart and Dragon Ball forlornly following...

_*A few minutes earlier, at the Basilicom...*_

"Tenga?!" gasped Vert's image on the holo-screen. "Are you certain about this, Neptune?"

"Oh yeah, it was them, no doubt about it," the lilac-haired CPU confirmed. "It looks like they're working alongside Underling now..."

"But how can that be? I visited the zoo just the other day to check on them, and they looked all present and accounted for!" the busty goddess mused. "Unless... how many of them attacked you, again?"

"It looked like there were about 25-30 of them," Nepgear helpfully supplied.

"...I was hoping you wouldn't say that," Vert sighed. "When we finally triumphed over the Demon Lord and her subordinates, there were only about twelve or thirteen surviving Tenga. The thing is, they were actually digital constructs created by her pet cat, who constructed the first one from a Neptube video, then copy-and-pasted the rest..."

"Wait, you mean that black cat that other Demon Lord reverted to after we ganged up on her?!" Neptune gasped.

"That's the one, BlackGatomon," Vert confirmed.

"Wait, wait, _other_ Demon Lord?!" Haruhi cut in. "I thought there was only one!"

"Um, yeah, there was Demon Lord Etna, but then her cat got a big power-up and turned into Demon Lord Lilithmon, and promptly backstabbed her master," Neptune explained. "And she would've killed Vert if yours truly and an Archangel from Etna's world hadn't bailed her out at the last second!"

_"Geez,"_ Haruhi grunted in disbelief. "So what happened to that cat after you beat her?!"

"We had her locked up at the local animal shelter, with a special power-suppressing collar so she couldn't evolve into her stronger forms," Vert said. "But if such a large group of Tenga attacked you, that could only be possible with her copy-and-paste ability! Which means she either escaped on her own, or someone took her to use said ability for their own nefarious purposes!"

"In that case, you better haul butt to that animal shelter and find out what happened!" the Animenga goddess suggested. "As soon as Histoire finishes telling us about recent history, Neon and I'll head right over to your nation to help out! Should only be another day or two, at most..."

"That would be greatly appreciated," the Leanbox CPU nodded in gratitude. "In any case, we'll get started on the investigation straight away... So, goodbye for now."

"Bye, Vert! Good luck and don't get in over your head!" Neptune said before the call disconnected. Just then, Neon walked in with a despondent Uzume and Dragon Ball in tow.

"Uh-oh, lemme guess," Haruhi sighed, on seeing their expressions. "You disobeyed my strict orders, didn't you?"

"They did indeed," Neon nodded. "A rock formation was reduced to rubble, the grass was torn up, and several trees were fatally splintered. What penalty shall milady inflict for their transgressions?"

"Hmm..." the brunette closed her eyes in thought for a moment. "Hey Histoire, are there any spots here in the Basilicom where, like, heavy objects need to be moved and dusted or cleaned?"

"...Yes, I can think of a few bookshelves that need to be moved and cleaned behind," the fairy mused.

"Great! Then DB can move the heavy stuff while Uzume does the cleaning and dusting," Haruhi stated. "I think that's a fair penalty, right?"

"Yes ma'am," DB and Uzume assented.

"Very well, then I will show you the areas that need to be cleaned," Histoire concurred. Turning to Neptune, she then said, "In the meantime, perhaps you could tell our extraterrestrial friends about your time in the Ultradimension, seeing as I was not there to witness it..."

"You have mastered inter-dimensional travel?!" Neon asked, intrigued.

"Eh, not really," Neptune demurred. "We did make a permanent gate between here and that dimension, but that was more luck than deliberate... Hey, that reminds me, where'd P-ko and Kyon go?"

"Right here," John Smith said as he entered the room with Peashy at his side. "I was playing some of your video game collection, and Peashy here joined me a bit later..."

"Yep, and I kicked his butt every time!" Peashy grinned.

"Aw, you're such a good gamer, P-ko!" Neptune praised.

"You lost on purpose, didn't you?" Haruhi whispered to the NPC.

"Of course I did," Kyon nodded. "I have a little sister, after all, so I know how to handle kids her age..."

"Okay then~! Let's go sit down so I can tell you how I got nepped away to another dimension, and how I met P-ko, and how Rei Ryghts became a final boss!" Neptune declared.

"Yay~!" Peashy threw her arms up happily.

_*Meanwhile, in Laguna City, Lastation...*_

Uni made her way down a paved street, sniper rifle at the ready. On paper, it was a relatively simple Quest she was taking on- finding and disabling a rogue robot armed with a laser rifle and hover boots. But the CPU Candidate knew better than to take chances, remembering Noire's advice: ("Uni, you should never take a Quest for granted, even if it seems simple. Sometimes the simple ones lead to you ending up in a really difficult boss fight because the requester understated the threat or something...") So Uni had taken care to take a Sharicite and a few healing potions to be on the safe side...

Just then, she heard the sound of metallic footsteps. (Could that be it?) Jogging toward the noise, she spotted something vaguely humanoid in shape, albeit with an angular head and walking... well, robotically. "Found you!" Uni said, taking aim with her rifle... only for the robot to suddenly engage its rocket boots and fly off! "Hey, get back here!" the twin-tailed goddess yelled in protest as she pursued, hearing a helicopter in the distance...

But then, the sound of the helicopter got louder and louder, until said chopper dropped out of the sky in front of the CPU Candidate! Four rifle robots flew nearby, the pilot dressed in Leanbox-style armor, albeit painted black, wielding a bazooka.

Her _stolen_ bazooka.

"I am Generic Soldier #20 of Ho-Hum!" the man announced. "CPU Candidate Uni, prepare to meet your doom at the hands of your own weapon!"

"...darn it, I _hate_ when Noire's right," Uni lamented.

_*To be continued...*_

Uh-oh, looks like Uni's in trouble! How will she get out of this situation? Tune in next time! ;)


	12. Chapter 11- Generic Soldier 20 Attacks!

Next chapter, GO!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 11- Generic Soldier #20 Attacks!

_(Music- 'Hi Spec Robo Go!', Sonic Mania)_

"Why is this happening to me?!" Uni wailed as she dashed down the street, the chopper piloted by Generic Soldier #20 in hot pursuit, the flying robots harassing her with shots from their laser rifles. "I haven't been using any cheat codes lately, I swear!" Fortunately, the robots couldn't aim at a moving target very well, which was why the goddess was currently in motion.

"Prepare to die!" Soldier #20 proclaimed as he pulled the trigger on his ill-gotten bazooka, shooting three missiles, two red and one blue, which rocketed forward before turning and locking onto Uni!

But the fact that it was Uni's weapon meant she also knew its weakness. (The blue one,) she thought, (If I knock that one off course, it'll lock on to a different target...) She jumped to dodge the first red missile, barely escaping the explosion as it impacted on the asphalt behind her. Lifting her rifle, she took aim and fired, successfully nicking the blue missile and sending it off-course- right at the helicopter!

_"Oh shit!_ Robots, defend me!" Soldier #20 cried out, said robots obeying and flying in front of the chopper, the one in front getting hit with the blue missile and blasted into pieces!

_(Yes!)_ Taking advantage of the distraction, Uni promptly vaulted over the railing, dodging the last red missile in the process, quickly retrieving her Sharicite from her pouch! _"Access!"_ she cried, being engulfed in a bright light as her HDD activated, quickly spreading her processor wings and pulling up! "Alright you jerk, round two!" Black Sister declared as she took aim at another robot, her shot piercing its power core and blowing it to shrapnel!

"Dammit!" Soldier #20 grunted at the turn of events. "Robots, attack mode!" The remaining two robots promptly flew toward Uni at high-speed, firing their laser rifles! But the CPU Candidate was too agile for them, easily avoiding every shot! Black Sister then made a sharp turn around the corner of a high-rise, turning to face the direction she'd flown from... when a robot flew into view, her trigger finger twitched, the rifle shot blowing off the robot's head, the rest of the machine auto-deactivating and falling to the streets below, detonating upon impact!

But then Soldier #20's chopper came around the other side of the building behind Uni, firing another three-shot of missiles from his bazooka! Black Sister let herself fall a fair distance, firing to send the blue missile off-course again, then turning and jetting off, flying in a three-dimensional pattern to make herself a harder target for the red missiles to track! One crashed and exploded on the corner of another high-rise, while the other one ran out of fuel and disarmed, falling out of the sky.

Deciding to change tactics, Generic Soldier #20 pulled out an assault rifle and opened fire as the chopper flew in close! Fortunately bullets weren't lethal to an HDD goddess, but they still stung like hell, Black Sister gritting her teeth as she tried to evade her enemy's sights... but then the last robot flew in front of her, the CPU Candidate unequipping her rifle so she could grab the tin can and use it as a shield! While the robot was smart enough to not fire on its master, it didn't know how to deal with Uni grappling it from behind.

"Activate self-destruct!" the armored man ordered, Black Sister's eyes going wide in shock as she promptly let go, only to be sent flying as the robot destroyed itself in an explosion visible from the street! As she fell, Uni managed to pull out a healing potion from her pouch, quickly downing the entire contents, feeling her pain ease as her wounds healed over. Arresting her downward descent, she managed to land on her feet, equipping her rifle again as the enemy chopper bore down on her...

"Bull's-eye!" the sniper declared as she fired, her shot snapping the main rotor off the rest of the helicopter!

_"Dammit!"_ Soldier #20 cried as he jumped out of the doomed chopper, activating a jetpack and flying off into the sky! As Black Sister tried to pursue, he chucked something at her that hit her directly in the chest, causing the goddess to briefly spiral out of control, allowing the Ho-Hum member to escape into the night.

As Uni touched down again, she realized what she was holding- her stolen bazooka. "...well, at least he was nice enough to give it back," she muttered to herself. "Better call Noire and let her know what happened..."

_*Meanwhile, at Leanbox City Animal Shelter...*_

"So what you're saying is," Vert began, looking over at a conspicuously empty cage, "that this back door is locked at night, but during the day, almost anybody can walk in here?"

"With all due respect, Lady Vert, this's an _animal shelter,_ not a maximum-security prison," the NPC head caretaker countered. "Believe me, when I learned what happened, I took immediate action..."

"And what action would that be?!" Chika Hakozaki demanded, with her hands on her hips.

"One of m'subordinates discovered that cat escaped a few days ago," the NPC explained. "But he was so afraid of incurring' yer wrath, Lady Vert, that 'e kept quiet until I discovered the cat was gone m'self! So I told 'im, 'You wanna avoid Lady Vert's divine wrath? There's an easy way t'do that: _You're fired!'_ I was 'bout t'call ya when you showed up anyway..."

"So why did it take you so long to find out what happened?" the Oracle inquired.

"I'll show ya," the shadow-man said, walking over and taking out a small device. Placing it in BlackGatomon's empty cage, he flicked a switch, the device projecting an image of the black cat. "My employee realized somethin' was wrong when th'cat wasn't eating 'er food... but instead o' telling' me, he changed her food out so I wouldn't notice... I only found out when I smacked 'er cage to get a reaction an' the device fell outta the cage!"

"So she's been gone for... over a week?" Vert mused. "Chika, call MAGES. and have her see if her collar is still active."

"Yes, Lady Vert!" the greenette nodded with a frown, pulling out her mobile device.

"Now then, I would like to have a word with your former employee," the CPU requested. "Do you still have his address?"

"...can I at least request that th'police interrogate him instead of you?" the NPC stammered.

Vert just smiled radiantly at him. "My dear sir, I am afraid that is _not_ an option..."

"Okay, thank you so much," Chika said before hanging up. "Lady Vert, MAGES. says that the collar is still active, so whoever helped BlackGatomon escape either doesn't know how to remove it, or is deliberately keeping it on..."

"Most likely the latter, to keep them under their control," Vert nodded as she received a note detailing the ex-employee's address. "Thank you very much. And I would highly suggest you keep this back door locked at all times from now on..."

"Y-y-yes, ma'am!" the caretaker nodded vigorously.

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"Apologies, Overlord Momus! I have failed my mission!" Generic Soldier #20 lamented from the monitor screen. "I lost all my robots and my chopper! I only managed to escape by throwing Uni's stolen bazooka as a distraction!"

"I see," the horned man said. "Did you at least give the CPU Candidate a run for her money?"

"Well, I saw her use a healing potion, so I believe that I did," Soldier #20 responded.

"Then that will do, for now. Change out of your armor into civilian clothing, and stay under the radar until further notice."

"Wilco, sir! Soldier #20 out!" the armored man saluted, before the image cut to static.

"...outdated robots and trying to use Uni's own weapon against her! That guy was _asking_ for failure, meow!" a high-pitched female voice spoke up.

"...as I have said before, our purpose is not to _destroy_ the CPUs, but to keep them from becoming complacent," Momus stated firmly as he turned to face his subordinate. "Your attitude is precisely why I do not remove your suppression collar..."

"But it's uncomfortable, meow!" BlackGatomon lamented, mildly pawing at said bulky collar.

"Too bad, deal with it," the Ho-Hum leader retorted. "I know all about you backstabbing your last master, which is why I will not take any chances. After all, I only require your ability to create expendable mooks for my purposes. You should be grateful for the measure of freedom you _have_ been given, unless you _preferred_ being cooped up in that tiny cage..."

"...Fine, I'll behave myself," the black cat sighed, sitting on her rear end.

"Good." Overlord Momus turned back to the monitor, opening a new line of communication, Linda's face soon popping up on screen. "Underling #3, it seems you, Warechu and Dogoo Man have joined up with the others..."

"Yes sir, though I don't really care for roughing it like this," the punk girl complained. "But you're calling 'cause you've got a new evil plot for us, right?!"

"Indeed," the horned man confirmed. "Now, this is what I want you and the others to do..."

_*To be continued...*_

Uh-oh, what does Overlord Momus have in mind for Vert and Leanbox? And will BlackGatomon remain a collared kitty for the whole story? And will any more antics ensue with Neptune, Haruhi and the others in Planeptune? Review!


	13. Chapter 12- Chaos in Planeptune

Here's a new chapter... honestly, I dunno how long this story's going to run, though I do have some major events and the endgame mapped out in my head...

Anyway, ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 12- Chaos in Planeptune

_*Planeptune Basilicom*_

"So, in the end, the Rei from the other place finally got control over her power with help from Sadie," Neptune narrated to Haruhi and the others. "As for our Rei, she got put on trial, but because she didn't remember anything, she got found not guilty by reason of insanity and exiled to Lowee, where she eventually met this big hotshot lawyer and became the Ace Attorney we know and love today!"

"We did testify in Rei's defense," Nepgear supplemented. "That was probably a big factor in persuading the jury..."

"I had heard some details about how Rei Ryghts became a goddess to begin with, but she didn't like to talk about it much," Neon Evangelion observed. "I sensed it was rather painful for her, so I did not pry further..."

"Yeah, it was nice to have the proper context," Haruhi concurred. "This 'Sadie' seems like a real piece of work, though... if I were human, I wouldn't wanna meet her in a dark alley..."

"Me neither," Kyon/John Smith deadpanned.

"Ploot's only bad when she gets big!" Peashy protested. "Ploot is really, really nice when she's Ploot!"

"You mean when she's not HDD," Kyon clarified. "Still not sure I'd want to meet her in person... but of course, now that I've said that, she's probably gonna walk in the door any minute..."

"Talk about paranoid," Haruhi rolled her eyes. But at that moment...

"Hello, Neppy~? Have you seen Peashy any... oh, there you are!" A young girl with purple hair done in a single large braid wearing pajamas walked in, carrying a Neptune plush in one hand.

"Hiya, Ploot!" the five-year-old greeted happily. "Neptuna was just telling Haru-ni and Nee-on how she first met you an' me!"

"Holy crap!" the alien goddess gasped in disbelief. "Kyon, are you psychic or something?!"

"It is a possibility to consider," Neon agreed, her eyes darting to the plush in Plutia's hand. "Please remove that doll from my sight."

"Huh...? My Neppy doll? But why?" Plutia wondered.

"She's got issues with dolls," Haruhi jumped in. "Childhood trauma, so to speak... just leave it in the other room or something, okay?"

"But, it's just cloth and stuffing... it can't hurt you, see~?" the sleepy CPU said, tossing the plushie into Neon's lap, causing the girl to uncharacteristically scream and frantically rip the doll to shreds, stuffing flying everywhere!

"Ahahahaha~! That was funny!" Peashy laughed. "You're so silly, Nee-on!"

The alien Oracle panted as she swiftly brushed the last of the stuffing off her, before collapsing on her back side. "Please... never do that again..."

"Aww... that wasn't very nice..." Plutia said with her head bowed.

"Uh, Plutie, there's no need to go over the edge here, okay?" Neptune babbled nervously.

"Right, no need to assume your Sadie dominatrix form," Haruhi appealed to the pajama-clad CPU. "I would ask you to leave my Oracle's penalty to me..."

"Oracle...? So you're a goddess too~?" Plutia inquired curiously.

"Yup! They're actually aliens, from waaaaay out in the Animenga Star Cluster," Neptune proclaimed.

"Aliens...? So you're trying to invade and conquer Neppy's world?" Plutia said menacingly as she began to glow with power...

_"Oh, shit!_ Hide hide hide!" John Smith cried in panic, scrambling to the far end of the room and trying to hide beneath a large beanbag. Not a moment later, the room was filled with light...

"Oh, no! Why'd she have to transform?!" Nepgear cried in fear as the light faded, revealing Iris Heart.

_"Ahhhh!"_ Neon's face turned even paler than usual, shuffling backwards... "My goddess, save me!"

"It seems my reputation precedes me," the dominatrix chuckled as she materialized a riding crop. "Now, which one of you naughty aliens should I punish first for trying to abduct my dear Neppy~?"

"You'll not lay a finger on her," Haruhi stepped in front of her Oracle protectively. "How about we take this outside? You and me, one-on-one. Do you accept, or yield?"

Iris Heart's smile widened slightly. "I accept. I can tell I'll have some fun with you..."

"Good. In that case..." the brunette raised a hand, herself and Iris promptly fading away.

"I hope she knows what she's doing..." Nepgear demurred.

"Aw, I wanted to play too!" Peashy whined. "No fair!"

Neon looked over at the child incredulously. "You think that their impending fight is-" the alien was abruptly cut off as she was suddenly encased in a block of ice!

"What the goodness?!" Nepgear gasped, seeing a mysterious man standing over Neon that she _knew_ hadn't been there a moment ago.

_(Music- 'Hi Spec Robo Go!', Sonic Mania)_

"Hello, ladies. Nice to meet you again," the man greeted, holding a translucent blue sword in one hand.

"YOU!" Neptune cried upon hearing the man's voice. "You're the evil server who fed me that eggplant pudding!"

"Indeed, but it seems my attempt at poisoning you didn't quite pan out, so I'm trying the more direct approach." The mystery man promptly slid a bandanna over his nose and mouth before declaring, "I am Generic Ninja #25 of Ho-Hum! Prepare to become icicles at the hands of my magical blade!"

"We'll see about that, villain!" Neptune said as she brandished her katana, Nepgear also equipping her laser blade. "P-ko, transform and try to break Neon outta that ice block! We'll handle this boss fight!"

"OK!" Peashy nodded, assuming her HDD form of Yellow Heart. "Don't worry, Neon, I'll get you outta there!" she exclaimed as she started hacking at the ice block with her claws.

"Hm!" Generic Ninja #25 grunted as he charged at blinding speed- but the two goddesses were no slowpokes either, managing to roll away and evade his ice sword! "Not bad, but how about this?!" He flipped through the air, pitching two large shuriken down at his targets...

"Too slow!" Neptune taunted as she easily sidestepped the throwing stars- only to get knocked off her feet when they exploded! "Exploding ninja stars?! No nepping fair!" She managed to bring her katana up to parry Ninja #25's sword strike- only for her sword to freeze up to and including her hands up to the wrists! "C-can't even p-parry?!"

"That's what you get for complacency! Now die!" the man declared as jumped into the air again-

_"Panzer Blade!"_ Nepgear cried as she intercepted their enemy in midair with an aerial slash, knocking him off-rhythm and making him eat the entire five-slash combo!

"N-nice work, N-Nep Jr! My turn!" Neptune grunted as she tried to ignore the freezing pain in her hands... _"C-Cross Combination!"_ Generic Ninja #25 managed to get up and partially parry the attack, but the force knocked him out of the reading room and into the hallway! The CPU quickly took advantage of this brief respite to break the ice off her hands and sword. Nepgear then followed up with a _Slash Wave,_ only for the shinobi to evade by jumping in the air again, hurling more explosive shuriken at the duo, making them jump and roll to evade!

"We have to get him when he's in the air, Neptune!" Nepgear relayed to her sister. "That's the only time he lowers his guard!"

"Rightcha!" Neptune nodded, dodging to the side as their enemy rushed in and swung again, taking advantage of the wider space in the hallway! Undeterred, Ninja #25 unleashed a wave of ice from his blade, freezing the goddesses' feet to the ground! "F-fish biscuits...!"

"And now you become ice sculptures!" the man said as he rushed in for the kill, only to see a beanbag cushion flying at him from the left, instinctively slashing it into two frozen halves! Neptune and Nepgear quickly used this distraction to transform to HDD and free themselves. "Curses! To be foiled by an NPC of all people!"

"Thank you, John Smith," Purple Heart acknowledged, pointing a finger to the ceiling. _"32-Bit Mega Blade!"_ Ninja #25 jumped into the air to evade the giant energy sword, only to get blasted out of the air by Purple Sister's arm cannon! "And now, _Victory Slash!"_ The shinobi tried to parry the attack, only for his ice sword to shatter as he himself was thrown through a nearby window from the force, glass shards spraying through the air!

But when the two goddesses flew outside, they couldn't spot their adversary anywhere! "Where'd he go?!" Purple Sister inquired in disbelief as she looked this way and that.

"Well, he is a ninja... he likely decided to cut his losses and disappear into the shadows after losing his sword," Purple Heart mused. "But to evade our sight in broad daylight... his stealth ability is at least equal to that of Steamax..." She then flew back inside, Nepgear following behind, the two then reverting to normal. "Well, hopefully that'll teach him to sneak eggplants into my pudding, at least..."

"Neptuna!" Yellow Heart ran out of the reading room, holding a shivering blue Neon in her arms. "Look, I got her out~! She's still kinda cold, but..."

"Good work, P-ko!" the CPU nodded and smiled, only to nearly get thrown off her feet as a loud BOOM! echoed through the air, the shockwave rocking the Basilicom! "W-what was that?!"

"L-Lady Haruhi... it-t w-was her p-power..." Neon managed to get out through chattering teeth. A few seconds later, the goddess in question reappeared, holding a prone, bruised Plutia in her arms. A cut was visible on Haruhi's right cheek, and her clothing had a few tears here and there.

"Damn, looks like you had a rough time of it," John Smith observed as he entered the hallway.

"I know," the brunette replied. "I can definitely see now why everyone fears this one in HDD form..."

"Holy nep, you beat _Sadie?!"_ Neptune gasped as her eyes shrank to circles. "Okaaaay~, I'm scared now...!"

"A-at least she's on our side," Nepgear said, though she looked a bit intimidated herself.

"M-my g-goddess is i-invincib-ble..." Neon grunted as she tried to warm herself by rubbing her arms.

"Neon?! What happened to you?!" Haruhi gasped as she finally noticed her Oracle's condition, gently setting Plutia on the floor.

"Ninja sneak attack," Neptune explained. "Called himself Generic Ninja #25 of Ho-Hum, whatever that means..."

"And he was the guy who poisoned Lady Neptune's pudding with eggplant," Kyon supplied. "He might have won, too, if I hadn't distracted him at the last second..."

"Whoa, seriously?! Good work, Kyon," the alien goddess said, before turning to Yellow Heart, doing a double-take upon seeing her extremely large bust. "A-are those real?!"

"Oh yeah, they're real, alright," Neptune sighed. "Blame that Anonydeath guy for that..."

"The creepy trans robot guy, right?" Haruhi recalled.

"Daddy's not creepy!" Peashy protested as she set Neon down, before reverting to her five-year-old appearance. "Daddy is Daddy and Pea loves him a lot! So there! _Pbbbbbht!"_

"...Right," the brunette decided not to argue, turning her attention to her Oracle. "Don't worry, Neon, I'll warm you right up," she assured her as she leaned over Neon's face...

...and kissed her right on the lips. The bluenette's red eyes went wide, her blue skin swiftly turning to beet red before abruptly passing out from shock. "Works every time!"

"Yep, nepping called it," Neptune deadpanned. "Hey Haruhi, you need a bandage for that cut on your cheek?"

"Huh? Oh right..." the Animenga goddess waved a hand over herself, her battle damage vanishing like it had never occurred. "Thanks for reminding me. And on that note..." She snapped her fingers, Dragon Ball and Uzume suddenly appearing in the hallway, the latter holding a Swiffer duster in one hand. "DB, you mind telling me why you didn't help these two when they got attacked?!"

"Huh?! Oh, uh... because I remember what happened last time I tried to walk out of a penalty," the martial artist shivered briefly in fear. "I mean, I _was_ tracking their energy... if either of them were about to die, I would've teleported to them!"

"They would've become ice cubes if it hadn't been for Kyon!" Haruhi pointed out. "But, I get your reasoning, so I'll let you off this time..."

"Ice cubes?! Uh, excuse me, I walked into the middle of this conversation," Uzume spoke up. "Someone mind telling me what went down?!"

"The bad ninja froze Nee-on, and tried to freeze Neptuna and Gear too!" Peashy exclaimed. "But the bad ninja got sent out the window and he ran away!"

"Out the window?!" the redhead gasped. "But, that's like, several stories up! How is he not dead?"

"Not the first assassin that's survived 'certain death', I'm sure..." Dragon Ball mused. "Believe me, I speak from experience..."

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"You're saying you failed due to an NPC's interference?" Overlord Momus said in mild surprise.

"I blame myself," Generic Ninja #25 lamented from the monitor. "I forgot that this is a _fan-fiction,_ not a video game, so the usual rule of NPCs not interfering in boss fights doesn't necessarily apply here..."

"Indeed, I expected better of you," Momus agreed. "Speaking of which, didn't I order you to Planeptune specifically for reconnaissance _only?"_

"I saw a window of opportunity when the alien goddess was preoccupied with Iris Heart, so I took it," the shinobi explained. "Speaking of which, it seems her Oracle is easily defeated if caught off-guard... the goddess Haruhi would seem to be the only real threat to our operations, depending on how deeply she decides to involve herself."

"I see... well, I shall let you off the hook this once," stated Momus, "but I would advise not taking such a reckless risk again. For now, return to base."

"Understood, Overlord Momus."

_*To be continued...*_

I think that Haruhi honestly underestimated how vicious Iris Heart can be... otherwise she wouldn't have been injured like that. Next chapter will focus on Vert/Leanbox, so look forward to it!


	14. Chapter 13- Karate Bears Are Bad News!

And here's the next chapter... sorry to do this to you, Big Peashy...!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 13- Karate Bears are Bad News!

_*Leanbox Basilicom, Vert's Room*_

"The soldier that attacked Uni wore Leanbox-style armor... I see," Vert nodded as Noire relayed what had happened over the phone. "Well, I'm afraid I have more pressing matters at the moment, but I promise I'll look into it once things calm down a bit. Thank you, Noire. Goodbye." She then hung up, reaching over and pressing the intercom button. "Would Peach Macintosh please report to the CPU's office? Peach Macintosh to the CPU's office."

Not a minute later, Peashy entered the room. "You called, Lady Vert? Any leads on that cat's disappearance?"

"None so far, I'm afraid," Vert shook her head. "And that's not why I called you here. There's an urgent Quest that needs to be taken care of, but I'm a bit busy at the moment..."

"Say no more! I'll take care of it!" Peach saluted. "Where's it at?"

"In the forest outside Gargan City..." Seeing the look that came over her bodyguard's face, Vert sighed and continued, "I'm serious, this isn't another deception. There's a wild grizzly bear harassing people and stealing their food, and you're the only one I could think of with the strength to wrangle and subdue such a large animal without killing it outright."

"Are you sure it's not a _trained_ bear?" Peashy asked warily.

"I haven't seen anything that proves that it is trained," the CPU shook her head.

"...Even so, I'd feel a little better if I had some backup," the ex-soldier said.

"In that case..." Vert pressed the intercom button again. "Chika, dear, would you come up to the office? Business."

"Business? You seriously have to say that?" Peach sighed. "And you wonder why there's rumors going around about you two..."

"That will be enough, Sergeant," Vert cautioned sternly. Soon, the Oracle in question entered the room.

"What's troubling you, my darling Vert?" Chika asked, stopping when she glimpsed the look on her co-worker's face. "Oh, dear, I'm suddenly getting a feeling of deja vu..."

_*Two hours later, in the forest outside Gargan City...*_

"Honestly, why did we have to come here together again?!" Chika complained as she and Peach moved through the forest, the former with spear in hand and the latter suited up in her armor. "Couldn't you have asked Adrian to accompany you instead?"

"I would have, except he got called away for a secret mission of some sort," the blonde replied. "And no, he didn't share any details with me, or how long he'd be gone..."

"Really? I wouldn't be surprised if that commander-in-chief did that to remove him from the public eye for awhile, after he received the Medal of Honor alongside yourself..." Chika mused.

"Bleh, you might have a point," Peach groaned. "Look, if this turns out to just be a rampaging wild bear, I can probably wrangle it on my own... I just want someone watching my back in case it's something more than that. Besides, nothing could be worse than encountering Iris Heart..."

"True... I still have nightmares on occasion," her companion shuddered from the memory. Just then, her head jerked up slightly as she heard a growl in the distance. "I think that beast might be nearby..."

"Roger that," the bodyguard nodded, readying her shock baton. "You got the bait?"

"Yes, right here," Chika nodded, opening a bag she'd been carrying with her, taking out a large raw steak. Throwing it into an open space, she and Peashy pulled back to wait...

It didn't take very long, as a medium-sized, slightly lanky grizzly bear emerged from the brush, sniffing about, before making a beeline for the steak... "I'm going in," Peach said, rushing in and swatting the bear on the snout with her shock baton, driving it back with a roar of surprise! Rearing up on its hind legs, the grizzly struck out with its paw, managing to knock the baton out of its enemy's grasp! Undeterred, Peashy went in with a straight punch to the snout...

Only for the bear to _block_ the blow, then turn and send the blonde flying with a butt-bump! "What the hell?!" Peach grunted as she jumped back to her feet, taking a defensive stance as the grizzly approached on its hind quarters, attacking with what appeared to be a karate chop that was blocked, then lashing out with its lower leg, sending the armored soldier to a knee, her helmet getting knocked off as it followed up with an uppercut! "Shit! It's a trained bear!" She jumped high into the air as the bear charged, coming down on its back and knocking it to the ground! "Not that easy, grizzly!" Peach growled as she rolled off and righted herself...

But then she felt her body becoming lighter, looking down to see her armor vanishing! "What the-?!" She checked her belt buckle for something that wasn't there. "My Armor Morpher! Where'd it-" she was cut off as the bear nailed her with a punch to the face, sending her tumbling backward! Holding her nose, she looked up to see a lithe female figure in the shadows...

"Looking for these?" the shadow taunted as she held up both Peach AND Chika's Armor Morphers! Peashy then heard a muffled scream, turning to see Underling holding chloroform over the Oracle's mouth, Chika quickly losing consciousness.

_(An ambush!)_ Peach realized, but too late, as a blue-colored arm suddenly went around her neck! She tried her hardest to pry it away to no avail...

"Nice try, but you're no match for my muscles!" Dogoo Man taunted, feeling the bodyguard's struggles slowly cease as she went limp in his sleeper hold. "Nighty night!"

"Hahahaha! Too easy!" Linda laughed in triumph. "Good job, everyone!" She exchanged high-fives with her co-conspirators. "Alright, let's string 'em up! Warechu, get the camera ready!"

"Got it, chu!" the rodent agreed as he turned on the video camera and adjusted the focus...

"Kuma, save that steak for later! We gotta video to shoot!"

"(But I'm hungry!)" Tekken's pet bear growled in dismay.

"At least cook it first, so I can have some!" Generic Thief #11 cried as her stomach grumbled, Linda promptly facepalming...

_*Back at the Basilicom, a short while later...*_

"Express delivery for Lady Vert!" the NPC mailman announced as he walked into Vert's room, holding a small package.

"From who, exactly?" the CPU inquired as she turned away from the PC.

"Somebody named Linda," the deliveryman replied. "Sign here, please." This the goddess did, promptly taking the package and unwrapping it to reveal a USB drive. Intrigued, she dismissed the man with a wave as she plugged the memory stick into her PC...

The only file was a video which Vert promptly opened, showing the smug face of Underling. "Hey there, Green Heart! Long time no see, huh? Feels like ages since I impersonated your Oracle! Speaking of which..." The camera shifted to reveal two familiar figures, who were unconscious, gagged, tied up and hanging from a branch, stripped down to nothing but their bras and panties!

_"CHIKA! PEASHY!"_ Vert screeched as she stood up in disbelief, her chair falling backwards onto the floor!

"That's right, slut, all your subordinates are belong to us now!" Linda taunted. "Who's _us,_ you're asking? Well..." the camera shifted again. "Meet Kuma and Dogoo Man!" The grizzly growled a hello, raising a paw.

"Hello there!" Dogoo Man waved. "Just so we're clear, Mistress S-Sha has nothing to do with this!"

"Yeah, we tried to recruit her, but she wasn't interested. Go figure," Underling shrugged.

"I'm here too, chu!" The camera spun to briefly reveal Warechu's face, before turning back to the others.

"So, if you want your Oracle and bodyguard back, come an' get em!" the punk girl said with an evil grin. "Don't worry, you won't get a Game Over if you lose, we'll just strip you and string you up like these two! For we are Ho-Hum- _The House of Humiliation! Hahahahahaaaa!"_ She then made a slashing motion with her throat, the video file stopping.

"..." Vert's only visible reaction for a few seconds was her left eye twitching, but inside her brain... (Did she say 'Ho-Hum'? The same Ho-Hum that robbed and attacked Uni in Lastation?! That means... _of course!_ This series of unfortunate events, Neptune's poisoning, Blanc's bear trap, my pitfall, wasn't mere happenstance- it was a _deliberate_ conspiracy! I need to inform the others as soon as I can! But first...) Pulling out her mobile device, she dialed a number...

_*Back with Underling and the others...*_

"Man, if only we could see the look on that CPU's face, chu!" Warechu laughed as he roasted some marshmallows over a small fire.

"MMMMPH!" Peach mumbled in protest as she tried to wiggle loose, but unfortunately her bonds were ultra-strong binding that was several times stronger than rope.

"Wiggle all ya want, it won't do ya any good!" Linda said as she gently poked at the blonde's bosom with a stick. "I can see why Vert hired you, you almost look like you could actually be her sister!"

"Grrrrmmpph!" Chika growled in protest.

"Oh, don't give me that crap!" the punk girl shot back. "You're more Vert's lover than her sister, anyway! I went through all your stuff when I disguised myself as you that one time, so don't deny it!" She laughed as the bound Oracle screamed through her gag and struggled violently, while Peach's face turned beet-red...

"I almost feel sorry for them," Dogoo Man lamented, "but the boss said to humiliate you and the CPUs, so, orders are orders!"

"Well, hopefully after this, we won't have to rough it in the forest anymore!" Generic Thief #11 rumbled as she chewed on her portion of cooked steak that Kuma had left for her.

"(I dunno, I kinda like it here,)" Kuma grumbled as he laid on his side, letting his food digest... but then the bear abruptly rolled onto all fours with his nose pointed in the air. "(Someone's coming...)"

"Must be Vert! Everyone, get ready!" Linda ordered as she equipped her club, Dogoo Man and Kuma taking fighting stances. Sure enough, Vert soon emerged into the clearing, already transformed to HDD.

"I got your message, Underling," Green Heart stated in an even tone, holding her spear at the ready. "I had forgotten that your name was actually Linda..."

"Gee, big surprise there," the punk rolled her eyes. "You idiot goddesses never remembered my name anyway! But anyway, you think you can take all four of us?!"

"Four?" Vert raised an eyebrow. "I count five, in case you thought I couldn't see that woman in the shadows back there..."

"Uh-oh! She's made you, Generic Thief #11!" Warechu called out.

"I-I'm not very good at fighting," Thief #11 said nervously. "Stealing's what I'm good at..."

(Excellent,) Green Heart thought, hiding a smirk. "Well, sorry to disappoint you, _Linda,_ but I'm not playing your unfair game today... I'll be using the AQL cheat code!"

"AQL? What's that?" Dogoo Man looked confused, Kuma having a similar expression.

"Kyaaaghh!" Thief #11 cried as she was suddenly assaulted by an orange blur, said blur then speeding over to Peach and Chika! Several swishes were visible, their bindings splitting apart as the duo collapsed to the ground! The blur then resolved itself into a familiar busty redhead with music notes for eye pupils!

"YOU!" Linda gasped, "MarvelousAQL! Dammit, I shoulda known!"

"Surprise!" Marvy winked, before tossing two objects to Peashy and Chika! "Catch~!"

_"Yes!"_ Peach cried in joy as she caught her Armor Morpher, Chika doing the same! "Let's go, Chika!"

"Indeed!" the greenette nodded.

_"It's Armor Time!"_ they both cried.

_"BLACK RAVEN!"_

_"WHITE GORILLA!"_

Their bodies were overlaid with holograms, which materialized into their armor suits! _"Armored Rangers!"_ they declared as they struck a pose!

"Dammit to hell!" Underling grunted at the sudden turn of events. "Kuma, Dogoo Man, don't just stand there, _do something!"_

"Chika, you deal with Underling!" Green Heart ordered. "Peach, you deal with Dogoo Man! Marvy, you subdue Warechu! And I shall deal with Tekken's pet!"

"Right!" "Okay!" "Yes, my darling Vert!" The women swiftly split off to deal with their respective opponents, Chika's spear clashing with Underling's club, while Peashy and Dogoo Man put up their dukes!

"Uh, can't we talk this over, chu?!" Warechu stammered as he slowly backed away from Marvy.

"Oh, I know exactly how to deal with you!" the ninja grinned, grabbing Warechu and pressing him into her ample bust! "Secret Ninja Booby Smothering Technique!"

(Sorry, Compa...!) was the rodent's last thought before passing out from lack of air.

"Tekken's going to hear about this, Kuma," Green Heart promised as she faced the grizzly. "But I don't think she'll mind if I discipline you in her place! _Inbetween..."_ The tip of her spear began to glow green...

"(Uh-oh. Fight or flight? ..._Flight!)"_ With that, Kuma turned tail and fled on all fours!

_"...Spear!"_ Vert finished, her weapon spawning several pointed energy projectiles that pursued the fleeing bear! While most of them smashed into the brush and trees, the largest one nailed Kuma in the butt, the grizzly roaring in agony as he was sent flying into a nearby pond with a big SPLASH!

"Argh!" Underling growled as Chika scored a hit on her upper arm, tearing her coat! "What the hell?! You weren't anywhere _near_ this strong when I subdued you before!"

"You can thank Peach for that!" Black Raven exclaimed as she parried a retaliatory strike from her opponent. "She kept dragging me to the gym over and over, and now, I can hold my own against demon lords! You are now but a peon in comparison! _Rainy Ratnapura!"_ The force of the multi-thrust attack was enough to send Linda flying backwards into a tree, barely rolling away from the follow-up _Sylhet Spear_ that impaled said tree in place of herself!

Peach gritted her teeth under her helmet as she blocked a punch from Dogoo Man, the force sending her skidding back several feet! (He may be stronger, but his technique is lacking! Time to show this freak what a master of CQC can do!) Ducking to one side to dodge the next punch, she kicked at Dogoo Man's ankle, putting him off-balance and making him stumble into an uppercut! The muscleman regained his focus and punched again, only for Peashy to reverse it into a one-arm shoulder throw, slamming him to the ground! "Muscles aren't everything!"

"Dammit, _run!_ Flee!" Underling yelled, quickly grabbing the unconscious Warechu and dashing into the brush, Dogoo Man and Thief #11 following after her!

"That's what you get for stripping me naked!" Chika yelled after them. "And don't come back!"

"Yeah, speaking of which, where ARE our clothes?!" Peach asked.

"Got 'em right here!" MarvelousAQL held up the clothes in question. "That thief lady was holding onto them, so I took them back, too!"

"Hah, you are a lifesaver, Marvy," White Gorilla sighed in relief as she and Black Raven gratefully took back their clothing.

"Well, hey, you saved me from that Demon Lord, so now we're even!" the redhead beamed, the two Armored Rangers nodding back at her before disappearing into the brush to remove their armor and re-dress themselves.

"I'm glad things worked out," Vert said as she reverted to normal, "but once we get back to Leanbox City, we have to contact the other CPUs with the information we've learned..."

_*Back at Ho-Hum HQ...*_

"You have _failed_ me, Kuma!" Overlord Momus yelled angrily, pressing a button that caused the grizzly to receive a severe electric shock! "I expected a bear like you to stand your ground, not flee like a horse-bird with its head cut off! Even the _Tenga_ have more courage than you!"

"(I'm sooooorrryyyy!)" Kuma wailed in agony.

"That's harsh, chu!" Warechu said, a bloody bandage over his nose, still not fully recovered from Marvy's 'smothering'.

"Shut your trap, Warechu!" Linda scolded her partner, quaking in fear of her own punishment. "We're in enough trouble as it is!"

Momus stopped the current, allowing Kuma to slump to the ground. "Now then... Miss Linda, Dogoo Man, since you at least tried to fight back, your punishment is deferred. As for the rat..." He punched Warechu in the head, leaving a sizable lump. "That's for being utterly useless! As for you, Generic Thief #11!"

"I'm sorry! I'm so very sorry!" The female thief fell to her knees. "I-I wasn't expecting a ninja to show up!"

"You're supposed to be a master thief!" the horned man shot back. Though he was clearly wearing a mask, the appearance of a single large orange eye with a slit pupil was quite intimidating... "I expected better from you, especially to not get beaten at your own game!" He promptly pounded Thief #11 on the head as well, leaving a similar lump. "Do _not_ fail me again!"

"Owww..." the young woman groaned as she brought a hand up to her head. "F-forgive me... i-it won't happen again..."

"Well, at least we don't get punished," Dogoo Man said to Underling.

"You're still on thin ice!" Overlord Momus said to them. "For now, you're all dismissed! I don't want to see your sorry faces for the rest of the day!" The five swiftly fled the room, Kuma being helped out by Dogoo Man.

"...Hard to find good help these days, huh, meow?" BlackGatomon spoke up, having silently observed the whole scene.

"Well, you had _better_ hope your Tenga are up to the task I assigned them in Lowee," the Ho-Hum leader warned.

"They know how to follow orders, if nothing else, meow," the Digimon replied coolly. "They should have enough numbers to make up for their lack of smarts..."

"I should hope so, for your sake," Momus stated.

_*To be continued...*_

So now we know the proper name of the Ho-Hum organization... but what does BlackGatomon and her Tenga have plotted in Lowee? Stay tuned, and review!


	15. Chapter 14- Conference Call 2

Time for another all-CPU meeting...

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 14- Conference Call 2

_*Planeptune Basilicom*_

"He had short black hair!" Neptune exclaimed.

"And he wore sunglasses, and a bandanna over his face!" Nepgear added.

"And he wore a black shirt and black denim jeans! I think he was tryin' to go for a 'modern-day ninja' look!"

"Alright, alright..." IF grunted as she scribbled the information down on a pad of paper. "Still a bit vague, but I'll get this out to the Guild immediately... No guarantee we'll find the guy, though, especially if he's a ninja..."

"Ah, there you are," Histoire said as she floated into the room. "I was just contacted by Vert, she needs to speak with you all immediately..."

"What, did some evil ninja try to assassinate her, too?" Neptune pondered.

"Not exactly," the fairy shook her head, "more along the lines of an incident involving Underling... but she's found some information that ties together all the incidents we've been having lately..."

"I knew it! It's a new evil organization, isn't it?!" the CPU snarked. "And right after we told Neon there weren't any world-spanning threats! Leave it to the bad guys to make liars out of us!"

"It is fine," the alien Oracle shook her head. "I am more than willing to aid you in this conflict, if milady wishes it..."

"Of course! And I can help a little, too!" Haruhi concurred. "But first, let's go see what Vert has to say!"

_*Leanbox Basilicom, Vert's Room*_

"Thank you all for answering on such short notice," Vert spoke to Neptune and the other CPUs on the conference call.

"Well, you said this was important," Blanc said. "I put writing my new novel on hold for this, so be grateful..."

"You said this was related to the attack on Uni, right?" Noire reiterated.

"Exactly," the busty blonde nodded. "I just rescued Peach and Chika from an embarrassing situation involving Underling... but she wasn't acting alone. Indeed, she has joined a sinister organization known as the House of Humiliation, or Ho-Hum for short."

"Ho-Hum?!" Noire gasped. "So it's not just us in Lastation they're going after!"

"Heyyy, that ninja said something about Ho-Hum too!" Neptune realized.

"Well, that explains a few things," Blanc nodded. "I suppose it's safe to assume that they're trying to damage our Shares by putting us in humiliating situations, given their name..."

"That's right," Vert nodded, "Unfortunately Chika and Peach walked right into their trap, and ended up tied up and nearly naked. It also seems that some pictures were taken that got out onto the Internep, which is why they've shut themselves up in their rooms at the moment. I've directed Cybercrime to try to track down and delete every copy of those photos they can find, but..."

"Yeah, we've been trying to get rid of those pics of Neptune and Nepgear being all tarred and feathered, but it hasn't been easy," IF said with a sweat-drop.

"Fortunately, it seems the citizens found them more amusing than anything, so our Shares actually went up a little," Histoire pointed out with a small sweat-drop of her own.

"Just like I said, they probably laughed their heads off seeing 'em like that," Haruhi stated with a smirk and a nod.

"Sure, it's funny for you, but Uni almost got killed!" Noire shot back with a blood vein on her forehead.

"Hey, that ninja tried to turn us into frozen pops, ya know!" Neptune retorted. "That's not exactly funny, either!"

"Yeah, AND he froze Neon solid!" Haruhi added. "And an attack on my Oracle is an attack on me! So do we know who else is part of this 'House of Humiliation'? I know there's the ninja, for starters..."

"He called himself Generic Ninja #25," Nepgear supplied.

"Ah! Uni said the guy who attacked her called himself Generic Soldier #20!" Noire gasped. "And the one who ransacked her gun collection was Generic Thief #11!"

"I met her during our recent altercation," Vert nodded. "Besides her and Underling, there was Warechu, as well as Tekken's pet bear Kuma and Dogoo Man!"

"...is this the same Dogoo Man that works for S-Sha of the Gold Third?" Blanc queried.

"One and the same," the Leanbox CPU confirmed. "Apparently they tried to recruit S-Sha herself, but..."

"She wasn't interested," all the other CPUs spoke in unison. Elsewhere in Leanbox, S-Sha sneezed, causing a Dogoo Lady to freak that she might have a virus.

"So that's seven members so far..." IF summarized. "And if the Tenga are working for Ho-Hum, that means that ex-Demon Lord is probably part of their ranks as well..."

"But none of them are smart or charismatic enough to be the leader," Noire pointed out. "Which means someone's pulling strings in the shadows, behind the scenes..."

"I'll be sure to let the Guild know about this, and pass it on to the intelligence agencies in the other nations, so they can keep their ears open for more info or potential plots," Iffy proposed. "If you'll excuse me..."

"Good luck, Iffy!" Neptune called as her friend left the room.

"By the way," Nepgear spoke up, "I hope I don't sound paranoid, but where is Uni right now? And Rom and Ram, for that matter?"

"Uni's busy reorganizing her gun vault right now," Noire answered. "I've got K-Sha and a small police detail on watch to make sure she doesn't get ambushed again..."

"Financier took Rom and Ram out to Super Nintend Land," Blanc said. "I'll give her a call and tell her to be on the lookout for strange bird-men..."

"Probably a good idea," Haruhi nodded. "Anyway... Neon, Kyon, I think it's time."

"Time for what?" Kyon asked curiously. The alien goddess responded by snapping her fingers- and suddenly the two of them along with Neon were standing next to Vert!

"Oh my!" the busty blonde gasped in surprise. "A-a little warning would be nice next time..."

"Yeah, I second that..." Kyon grunted, slightly disoriented.

"Hey, wait a nep!" Neptune protested. "I haven't even got to tell you how we met Uzume!"

"It's all right, Neptune, I can tell them the gist of what happened," Vert assured her.

"Hey, wait a minute, what about me?!" Dragon Ball yelled as she shoved herself into the room with Neptune & co.

"You're staying there, in case that ninja tries another sneak attack," Haruhi ordered. "And also, if you decide to spar with Uzume again, no transforming! I don't need you leveling the city by accident or something, got it?!"

"Okay, okay..." DB sighed in a defeated tone.

"And also, Neptune, could you apologize to Plutia for me when she wakes up?" the alien goddess requested. "And try to make it clear to her that we're not bad aliens..."

"No promises, but I'll try," Neptune nodded.

"Anyway, getting back to Ho-Hum," Noire cut in, "I think for now we should put up wanted posters and BOLOs for the currently known members..."

"What are bolas gonna do?" Neptune asked confusedly.

"BOLOs, not 'bolas'," Vert corrected her. "It stands for 'Be On the Look-Out'... although, it probably won't work for Kuma, since he looks just like any other grizzly bear out there. Even Peach couldn't tell the difference until he started using karate moves..."

"Maybe, but any bear that goes after the citizens is bad news, trained or not," Blanc pointed out. "So we could tell the authorities to update us on any unusual bear activity..."

"That could work," Noire nodded. "But does Tekken know about this? I'm leaning towards not."

"Yes, we should try and contact her as soon as we can," Vert concurred. "Of course, given that she's a wandering martial artist, that might be a bit difficult..."

"I could just summon her here if you want," Haruhi offered. "I need a clear picture of her, though."

"Oh, thank you, Haruhi, that would be a great help," Vert smiled. "In the meantime, everyone, stay on your guard."

"We will," Noire nodded.

"Of course," Blanc assented.

"Yeppers, we won't get ambushed again!" Neptune promised. "Bye for now!" The other goddesses said goodbye as the call disconnected.

_*Meanwhile, in Super Nintend Land...*_

"Help! Help!" Ram cried.

"Run away!" Rom also screamed, the twins running as fast as they could, being pursued by a giant turtle-monster with horns and a mane with red hair! Said turtle monster roared as it breathed fire into the sky, continuing its pursuit...

"We gotta get to the bridge!" Ram said. "It's our only chance!"

"Right!" Rom nodded, the two heading for a bridge that spanned across a river of lava. Unfortunately, the bridge was more than strong enough to hold the turtle-monster's weight as it stomped after them!

"Hit the switch!" Ram ordered, she and Rom leaping and stomping on the large round button just beyond the bridge! Two axes swung down, cutting the support ropes, the giant turtle screaming as it dropped into the lava, one clawed hand reaching upwards before it sank under.

The two CPU Candidates collapsed in relief, chests heaving with heavy breaths as an attendant walked up to them. "So," he began, what did you think of our new 'Outrun Turtlezilla' attraction?"

"Th-that was..." Ram gasped. "...totally AWESOME!"

"I-it was s-scary, though..." Rom grunted.

"It's just a robot, it's not programmed to hurt you," the NPC pointed out. "All it does is grab you and roar, and then it's game over."

"Y-you should have t-told us that before we tried it..." the blue-clad twin sighed as she stood up.

"Aw, don't be such a scaredy-cat, Rom! That was fun!" Ram exclaimed happily. But then, several anthropomorphic ravens descended around the three! "Whoa! Is this another new attraction?!"

"I don't know these guys!" the NPC attendant looked around frantically.

"Caww! We're the Tenga!" the birds introduced themselves. "And we've got orders to kidnap you baby goddesses!"

"K-kidnap?!" Rom's eyes went wide with shock.

_"Baby?!"_ Ram growled as she summoned her wand. "We'll see who cries like a baby! Rom, let's go!"

"O-okay!" her sister agreed, equipping her wand as well.

_"Access!"_ they both cried, transforming to HDD...

_*To be continued...*_

Uh-oh, Rom and Ram are in trouble! Can they overcome the Tenga? And will the CPU's efforts slow down Ho-Hum's ambitions? And what other evil plots do the bad guys have in store? Stay tuned, and review!


	16. Chapter 15- Birds and Bodyguards

Things got delayed a bit due to coronavirus events, but next chapter is ready to roll!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 15- Birds and Bodyguards

_*Planeptune Basilicom, Compa's Room*_

"Mmmnnn..." Plutia moaned as she slowly regained consciousness, feeling sore all over... As her vision cleared, she saw Compa's concerned face hovering over her. "Compa...? What happened?"

"Oh, you're awake!" the busty nurse exclaimed. "I don't know exactly what happened, except you got in a fight and lost..."

"I-I lost?!" Plutia's eyes shrank to white circles. "But... I never lose one-on-one...!"

"Well, ya did this time, Plutie," Neptune said as she entered the room with Peashy by her side. "You do realize, that because of you, me and Nep Jr. almost got put on ice, literally..."

"Yeah, a bad ninja attacked and froze Nee-on while you were fightin' Haru-ni!" Peashy said with a pout. "I had to transform to break her outta the ice!"

"Oh, no... really?" the pajama-clad girl said, feeling her heart twist a little. "Oh, Neppy, I'm sorry... If I knew that ninja was there, I would've hurt him first... so what happened to the aliens?"

"Well, they've already vamoosed to Leanbox," Neptune sighed. "Y'know, if you hadn't jumped to conclusions, I would've told you that Haruhi and her Oracle touched down here because Vert's space team launched a satellite that ended up in their star cluster, so they decided to come say hello..."

"Oh... so that's what happened..." Plutia bowed her head in shame. "I guess I messed up, huh...?"

"A little bit," her fellow CPU nodded. "Haruhi says she's sorry for hurting you like this, though..."

"Yeah, Haru-ni's really nice!" Peashy added. "I thought she was a bad alien too, but I was wrong, so don't feel too bad, Ploot!"

"...okay~," Plutia sighed. "Maybe I'll just go back home for now and have my Compa care for me..."

"I can carry you if you want!" Peashy offered.

"Eh-heh, that's nice P-ko, but how about we have Nep Jr. help you with that?" Neptune suggested. "Don't wanna hurt Plutie any more than she already is, after all..."

_*Meanwhile, back with Rom and Ram...*_

"Roast turkey!" White Sister Pink yelled as she fried a Tenga with fire magic!

"Frozen chicken!" White Sister Blue shouted as she encased another one in an ice block, which promptly fell and shattered into a thousand pieces!

"Get 'em, girls!" the NPC attendant encouraged from behind the door of the building he'd taken shelter in.

"Caww! These two baby goddesses are tough!" one Tenga cried as he dodged another magic blast.

"We're not babies!" White Sister Pink shot back as she hit the bird-man with a double-footed kick, sending him into the magma pool!

"Caww! I'm melting! I'm burning! I'm... hey, wait a minute, this isn't lava!" the Tenga realized.

"Of course it isn't!" the NPC attendant yelled. "You seriously think we'd put _real lava_ in an amusement park attraction?!"

"...good point, caww," the raven muttered as he climbed out, brushing 'lava' off himself... only to have a large ice crystal dropped on his head, reducing him to 1s and 0s.

"Nice one, Rom!" White Sister Pink complimented her sister. "These birds are nothing for us!"

"Well, you know what they say, caww... he who fights and flies away, lives to fight another day!" With that, the remaining Tenga turned tail and fled.

"Serves you right for trying to kidnap us!" White Sister Blue yelled after them, sharing a high-five with Ram. "You OK, mister?" The NPC gave a thumbs-up back.

"Rom! Ram!" A voice called in the distance twins turning to see White Heart rapidly approaching, stopping short in front of them. "Are you two all right?!"

"We're fine, big sis!" White Sister Pink proclaimed. "Those birdbrains never stood a chance!"

The HDD CPU heaved a sigh of relief at this. "Thank goodness... When I couldn't get a hold of Financier on her cell phone, I feared the damn worst..."

"Miss Financier?" Rom blinked, she and her sister exchanging glances. "Now that I think about it, where is she?" The two flew back to they had left the maid, only to find a discarded cell phone on the ground... Ram picked up the phone, and sure enough there were several missed calls from Blanc visible on the screen.. "Y-you don't think..."

The two looked at each other in horror as realization dawned. _"THEY GOT HER!"_ the twins wailed, burying their heads in White Heart's chest as she alighted beside them. "We're so sorry, Big Sis!"

Blanc could only sigh and hold her sisters as they cried into her flat chest, gently patting them on the head... (Bastards... if those birds harm one hair on Financier's head, there'll be _hell_ to pay...!)

_*Leanbox Basilicom*_

"Chika, come out!" Vert ordered.

"No!" came the despondent reply from Chika's room. "I can never show my face again, knowing there are perverted men pleasuring themselves to my naked body...! I'm ruined forever!"

"She's just like I've read on the Internep," John Smith observed as he stood alongside Haruhi and Neon. "Total drama queen..."

"Yeeeeah, I think she's a lost cause," Haruhi quipped.

"Perhaps we could meet with your bodyguard instead?" Neon suggested.

"I suppose so," Vert sighed in defeat, turning away from the locked door. "Chika, next time I'm going to break your door down! You have to eat, after all!"

"I would rather starve to death!" the Oracle shot back defiantly...

And so, the group went down one floor to Peach's room, which had been a storage area for Vert's video game backlog before being converted. "Peach, it's Vert. Please open up."

"Not until all those embarrassing photos are gone!" the ex-soldier responded. "What if Adrian sees me like that?!"

"Peach, the aliens are here," the CPU stated. "Weren't you curious about meeting them?"

There was the sound of movement, then the door unlatched and slowly creaked open, revealing a slightly disheveled Peach Macintosh, wearing a plain white T-shirt and blue jeans. Looking over at Haruhi and Neon, she rubbed her eyes a little before commenting, "Well, not quite what I was expecting..."

"Well, what were you expecting? Laser guns and slimy tentacles?" Haruhi sighed as she crossed her arms.

"More like green skin and multiple eyes," Peach replied after a moment.

"Actually, I do have multiple eyes," Neon commented, opening her two extra pairs of eyes to prove her point.

"W, whoa, that's a little freaky," the blonde recoiled slightly. "S-so, you guys are in disguise, then, huh?"

"I am, yes," the alien Oracle nodded, closing her extra eyes. "Milady on the other hand had to transmogrify her body and shunt her excess mass into a separate structure-"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Peashy cut her off. "No offense, but I'm not that smart, okay?"

"She was the size of an apartment building when she first touched down," Vert stepped in. "In order to shrink down to our size, she changed the rest of her body into a tall throne of sorts... is that right, Haruhi?"

"You got it," the brunette nodded.

"Wait, you mean that throne I saw when we first met... that's part of your body?!" John Smith said in disbelief.

"No worries, Kyon," Haruhi turned to the NPC. "There's nothing vital in that throne. Even if somebody or something crushed it to rubble, it wouldn't affect me in the slightest."

"Well, that's good to know," Peashy said as she stepped out of her room into the hallway. "Who's this guy, though?"

"That's Kyon," Haruhi introduced with a smile.

"Also known as John Smith," Vert appended, drawing an annoyed glare from the alien goddess.

"Thank you, Lady Vert," John sighed in gratitude. "But yeah, I'm just an average guy from Lowee, getting dragged along for the ride..."

"Oh, don't be such a downer, Kyon!" Haruhi huffed. "You should be thankful that I'm taking you on a world tour of Gamindustri!"

"It's been an interesting ride so far, I can say that for sure," John mused. "Could've done without the evil ice ninja attacking though..."

"Uh, what?" Peach looked confused.

"See, this is why you shouldn't be holed up in your room," Vert sighed, before explaining the situation...

"Wait, so there's a new terrorist group gunning for you guys?!" the bodyguard gasped. "You think they were the ones behind that pitfall trap a few days back?!"

"I'm almost certain of it," Vert nodded. "Aside from that ninja, there's also that thief, a rogue Leanbox Army soldier, Underling, Warechu, Dogoo Man, and Tekken's pet bear Kuma, as well as the Tenga..."

_"Tenga?!_ Wait, I thought we locked them all up!" Peashy argued.

"You know that BlackGatomon has escaped from the animal shelter," the busty CPU pointed out. "Even if her power is still restrained, she's apparently still more than capable of creating new Tenga to act as foot soldiers for the House of Humiliation..."

"Grrrr!" the bodyguard clenched her fists in anger. "After all the trouble we went through before...! We'll see who gets humiliated once I get my hands on that stupid black cat! And I hope that rogue soldier tries to come after you, cause I'll give him a good lesson in CQC!"

"Sergeant, calm down," Vert ordered. "Unfocused anger isn't going to get us anywhere..."

"...Right, sorry," Peach sighed, standing at ease.

"Speaking of that pet bear, weren't you gonna get a picture of Tekken for me, so I could summon her here?" Haruhi inquired.

"Oh, yes, that's right," the CPU nodded. "In that case, let's go back to my office, so I can pull up a picture..." And so the group headed back upstairs...

_*To be continued...*_

Poor Plutia, though some might say she got what she deserved... but will Financier be rescued? And will Tekken be able to put a stop to Kuma's misbehavior? And what other exciting antics will ensue in Lowee and Leanbox? Stay tuned, and review!


	17. Chapter 16- Rescue Financier!

Time to save Financier!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 16- Rescue Financier!

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"We got the maid, caww!" the Tenga on the monitor exclaimed. "Those baby goddesses never suspected a thing!"

"Mmmmph!" Financier mumbled, gagged and tied to a chair.

"Excellent work!" Overlord Momus nodded in satisfaction. "Now, you have the instructions I gave you, correct?"

"Got 'em right here, caww!" the raven held up a laminated piece of paper.

"Make sure you follow those directions to the letter, meow," BlackGatomon ordered. "They should be simple enough that even _you_ can't screw them up..."

"You got it, BlackGatomon!" the Tenga saluted. "Tenga out!" The monitor then went dead.

_*Back at the Lowee Basilicom...*_

"We're deploying drones to scan everything in the direction that those birds fled in," the NPC police chief explained. "As soon as they find anything, we'll let you know..."

"I'm holding you to that," Blanc nodded. Dismissing him, she turned to her sisters. "I promise, we're going to find Financier... just don't do anything rash when we do, okay?"

"We gotta help her!" Ram protested. "It's our fault she got snatched in the first place...!"

"W-we should have b-been keeping an eye on her..." Rom sobbed in despair.

"For the last time, this is NOT your fault," Blanc insisted. "There's no way you could've known those birds were actually after Financier... hell, they might have just grabbed her when they realized they couldn't beat you! I probably would've done the same damn thing, so stop beating yourselves up over it, okay?!"

"O-okay... I'll try..." the older twin nodded, wiping her eyes.

"At least let us help rescue her when we find her!" Ram pleaded.

"...All right, I'll let you help," Blanc decided. "But ONLY if you follow my directions, and don't go off like some stupid Leeroy Jenkins, got it?!" Just then, a Basilicom priest ran in.

"Lady Blanc!" the NPC gasped, "a hostage video was just posted to that author's message board you frequent!"

"What?!" the CPU whirled on him in shock. "Damn, it must be for me personally! Rom, Ram, let's go to my office!" The three sisters promptly set off...

_*Blanc's Office*_

Sitting down at her personal PC, Blanc promptly pulled up the message board the priest had mentioned, and sure enough there was a new topic titled 'A message for the CPU, caww!' Opening it, the goddess promptly accessed the video link, making sure it was full screen...

"Hello, Blanc, and all you Lowee people!" a Tenga greeted. "So, you probably know by now that we kidnapped your sister's maid, caww!" The camera was turned, showed Financier tied and gagged, stripped down to her bra and panties. "Even if she escapes, she won't last long in this freezing weather, caww!"

"Those mean birds!" Ram cried in distress.

"You baby goddesses are so stupid, letting her get kidnapped, caww! You're not worthy of being CPUs!" the Tenga taunted. "Of course, you wanna try and get her back, we'll be waiting for you... if you can find us! Caw-hahahahawwww!" The video then ended.

"It... it is all our fault, isn't it..." Rom sobbed, sinking to her knees in despair, Ram instinctively grabbing her in a reassuring hug.

"It is NOT your fault!" Blanc asserted as she turned to face them. "Don't listen to what that stupid bird says! He's just trying to break your spirit! Compared to likes of that pedo-freak Trick, he's nothing! They're nothing!"

"Big Sis is right!" Ram nodded. "You can't let that dumb bird get to you, Rom! We'll get Miss Financier back, I know we will!"

"Damn straight we will," the CPU nodded. "And on that note..." She picked up the phone, dialing the police. "Hello, get me the Cybercrime department. I need them to trace a video that was uploaded on my author's message board just recently..."

_*At the Tenga's hideout...*_

"So what are we supposed to do now, caww?" one Tenga asked his brethren.

"We wait, caww," the other replied, "for those baby goddesses or Blanc herself to show up... hey, you got that thing BlackGatomon gave us?"

"Right here, caww!" another Tenga held up an item that looked like an orb with 1s and 0s orbiting it.

"Good, don't lose it! It's important to our plans!" the first Tenga nodded. Just then, yet another raven came in through the door, looking a bit panicked. "Uh-oh, are the CPUs here already?!"

"Not the CPUs, the fuzz!" the raven flapped his wings in near panic. So the other Tenga walked up to the nearby window, seeing a fleet of police cars!

_(Music- 'Bad Boys', COPS theme song)_

_"This is the Lowee City Police Department!"_ Detective Snorkel 'Snooper' Pericles shouted through a megaphone. _"We have the place completely surrounded, avian scum! It's not too late to give yourselves up! Come out with your hostage unharmed and your wings in the air!"_

"They called the cops on us?!" one Tenga cried in disbelief. "What do we do now, caww?!" Just then, a part of the ceiling fell in, a large ice crystal quickly revealed to be the culprit! Then a gout of fire magic engulfed said ice, flooding the room with steam! "Caww! I can't see!"

"Surprise, birdbrains!" White Sister Pink exclaimed as she dropped down through the hole, White Sister Blue quickly following, the former attacking the Tenga at the window while the latter flew over to Financier!

"Hold still, Miss Financier!" Rom said as she used her wand to break the back of the chair the maid was tied to, allowing her to wiggle free of her bonds! "Get outside! We'll cover for you!"

"Okay! Thank you, Rom!" Financier nodded as she quickly untied her feet, running around the ice crystal to the door. A Tenga tried to block her path, only to get kicked out of the way by Ram! Fortunately there were no other obstacles for the brunette as she managed to open the door and run outside, wrapping her arms around herself and gritting her teeth as the cold air hit her nearly-nude body.

"She's getting away!" a few Tenga flew down after her, only to get slammed aside by a familiar axe!

"Lady Blanc!" Financier gasped as the HDD CPU wrapped an arm around her, lifting her into the air!

"I got you, just hold on!" White Heart grunted as they flew over to the police cars, setting the maid down next to Snooper. "Hurry and get in the car, before your freeze your ass off!" Financier nodded, quickly climbing into the back seat of the car and shutting the door.

"The hostage has been recovered!" Snooper announced. "Now to detain the suspects! Move in!" Several officers dashed forward, dressed in armor and wielding assault rifles!

"The police are coming!" a Tenga yelled as he tried desperately to fend off White Sister Pink, only to get roasted extra-crispy!

"Where's that program?!" another raven cried as he looked around frantically.

"I got it-!" the bird-man in question was frozen, the orb flying away and rolling along the floor, the first Tenga managing to scoop it up as he ducked more ice magic from White Sister Pink!

"Program Execute!" he exclaimed, the orb starting to glow brightly...

_(Music- 'Splash', Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth 1)_

As the police approached the abandoned outpost where the Tenga had holed up, they came to an abrupt halt as the roof burst open, revealing a giant Tenga! _"Fall back! Fall back!"_ one officer cried, the group quickly turning tail and retreating as the bird-man attempted to crush them underfoot(undertalon?)

"Caw-hahahahaw! Who's giving up now?!" the large Tenga crowed as he pursued the fleeing cops!

"Dammit to hell!" White Heart cursed. "Get Financier outta here, now!"

"Don't gotta tell me twice!" Snooper agreed, getting in the police car and peeling rubber in a hasty retreat!

"That's right, run, run away!" the giant Tenga taunted as several other police cruisers followed Snooper's lead, White Heart then flying up to look him in the eye. "You think you can take me all by yourself, caww?"

The HDD goddess just smirked. "I'm not by myself, dumbass... or did you forget my sisters?!" Sure enough, the oversized bird screamed in pain as his tail feathers were set aflame!

"Take that, you overgrown turkey!" White Sister Pink yelled as she blasted the giant enemy with fire magic! She was then forced to fly away as the Tenga spun and tried to kick her out of the sky!

"Rom, Ram!" Blanc yelled as she flew close, "try to keep him busy! I got an idea! _Gefahrlichtern!"_ She launched several white projectiles at the Tenga, before flying a short distance away!

"Okay, Big Sis!" White Sister Blue assented, flying up to the Tenga's face and shooting an icy blast at his beak!

"You won't freeze me that easily!" the giant raven growled as he broke the ice off his beak, trying to swing at the tiny CPU Candidate to no avail, then yelling in pain as his wing was hit with a fireball from White Sister Pink! "Stop that, caww!"

"I call upon the power of the Hyper Share Crystal!" Blanc declared, raising a hand into the sky. _"Access NEXT Form!"_ A bright light briefly engulfed the CPU, coming down in a new bodysuit with an icy blue bodice, black arms and leggings, white armor appearing on her legs as she touched down before skating forward, a gauntlet attaching to her left arm, then another one on her right arm before jumping into a magical water pool, materializing mechanical angel wings, a large hat with goggles plopping on her head, before materializing a new axe with a blade almost as long as the handle itself! "Alright you giant freak, let's see how you handle this! _Blaster Controller!"_

"Huh?!" the giant Tenga turned to see NEXT White send out a horizontal wave from her axe, encasing his feet in ice! "Caww! Oh no, I'm a sitting duck!"

"Damn straight!" Blanc agreed, as she sent a concentrated vertical wave at her enemy, now encasing the lower half in ice crystals! "Now I'll show you the power of a next-gen CPU!" she said as a very large gun slid out of a portal next to her, the barrel extending and opening up, crackling with energy! _"Max power! FIRE!"_ She cried, the cannon firing a _massive_ energy beam, the shockwave knocking her hat off!

_"CAAAWWWW!"_ the Tenga screamed as the beam pierced right through his chest! "You... got me..." With that, his body dissolved outward from said chest wound, until nothing was left but the ice crystals that had encased him.

_"She did it!"_ an officer cried as he and his companions observed from a safe distance, the rest of the police breaking into cheers.

"I knew you could do it, Lady Blanc..." Financier smiled inside the police car, a blanket now covering her modesty.

"We won!" White Sister Pink proclaimed as she and Blue flew down to Blanc, who had reverted to normal from expending all her Shares. "You really nailed that big bird!"

"Heh... compared to a Dark CPU, he was nothing," the flat-chested goddess said with a weak grin. "You two mind carrying me back so we can rejoin with Financier and the police?"

"Of course, Big Sis!" White Sister Blue agreed as she and Pink put Blanc's arms over their shoulders, slowly rising up and flying off together...

_*Later, at Ho-Hum HQ...*_

"It seems your Tenga failed after all," Overlord Momus observed as he and Black Gatomon watched the news broadcast.

"Oh, well," the black cat shrugged. "I didn't think they'd win, even with the 'make my monster grow' program I gave them, meow... but wasn't that the point, anyway?"

"True," the Ho-Hum leader nodded. "It seems you're finally starting to understand..."

"Yep," BlackGatomon nodded back, before stretching. "Well, I'm gonna go take a catnap... if you'll excuse me, meow." Momus dismissed her with a wave, the cat running off on all fours...

But instead of taking a nap, the Digimon sat down at a laptop inside a small closet, opening it and beginning to type away... "If that conference call we intercepted is right, those aliens are in Leanbox now... Purrfect for me," she grinned as she called up a virus program. "They're probably gonna meet with the LASA space team, so let's send those guys a little present..."

_*To be continued...*_

Uh-oh, looks like BlackGatomon is plotting behind Momus' back... what could the former Demon Lord be up to? Find out next time! ;-)


	18. Chapter 17- Meeting the Space Team

And now, we learn a little bit of Neon Evangelion's backstory...

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 17- Meeting The Space Team

_*Leanbox Basilicom, Vert's Room*_

"Kuma's fallen in with a terrorist group?!" Tekken gasped in disbelief. "And he lured your bodyguard into an ambush?! That's terrible!"

"Yeah, and then his fellow baddies stripped me and Chika near-naked and took pictures!" Peach added. "Chika's so embarrassed, she refuses to leave her room!"

"You weren't much better," John Smith snarked.

"Ugh!" the blonde flushed and briefly buried her face in her hands, before stating, "W-well, I'm probably not going outside without my armor on f-for a while...!"

"Anyway, that's why I warped you here," Haruhi stated, "so next time that bear shows his face, you could maybe penalize him for being a bad bear!"

"W-well, Kuma's more of a training partner than a pet, b-but I'll try to smack some sense into him," Tekken nodded. "But, um, who are you again?"

"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya, goddess of the Animenga Star Cluster," the brunette introduced herself. "And this is my Oracle, Neon Evangelion."

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Tekken," Neon bowed politely. "I hope that you will not get the wrong idea about us, even though we are aliens..."

"Aliens...? ALIENS?!" Tekken screeched in terror. _"Noooo!_ I won't let you dissect me!" She promptly struck with a megaton punch- but fortunately Neon's personal force field blunted the impact. "Huh...?!"

"Tekken, they are not _that_ kind of aliens..." Vert sighed and sweat-dropped.

"Yeah, the worst Haruhi's done is make it rain spaghetti and meatballs on everyone's heads," John Smith deadpanned. "But now that you mention it, I am a little hungry..." Suddenly a plate of spaghetti appeared in his hands. "Oh, very funny."

"Hey, I'll have you know I'm actually a pretty good cook, even without my powers," Haruhi said. "Anyone else want a bite?"

"W-well... as long as it doesn't t-turn me into a monster or s-something," Tekken assented.

"It will not," Neon assured her.

"In that case, I suggest we adjourn to the kitchen," Vert suggested. "Peach, could you go break down Chika's door and have her join us? Even if it means dragging her by her feet..."

"Oh, I can do that," the blonde smirked as she cracked her knuckles, before going to do as ordered.

"This I gotta see," Haruhi grinned as she followed Peashy...

_*A short time later, in the kitchen...*_

"Here you go~!" Haruhi said cheerfully as she set a plate of food in front of Chika. "Go on, dig in! It's good, I promise!"

"Did you really have to break my door down like that?" the Oracle muttered as she reluctantly began to eat.

"Just following Lady Vert's orders," Peach shrugged with a smile before digging in herself. "Besides, Haruhi already put your door back on its hinges, so you've got no reason to complain!"

"Wow, this is really good!" Tekken said as she scarfed down her plate. "I thought it would be like, wiggling with eyes and stuff..."

"Someone's read too many comic books," John said as he finished his spaghetti.

"This might surprise you, Tekken, but most of the denizens back home are about as human as you are," Haruhi stated as she sat down to eat herself. "And most of 'em are decent enough... just trying to make a living."

"Indeed, I am technically half-human myself," Neon stated as she took a bite of her vegetarian dish.

"So... what's the other half, then?" Peach asked curiously.

"Me," Haruhi replied. "She was half cloned from my DNA while I was taking a long snooze... It seems some humans found me while I was slumbering beneath the planet's crust. But creating Neon was the least of what they did..."

"Do we dare ask what else?" Chika pondered.

The alien goddess looked over at her Oracle, who gave a slight nod before saying, "Most of you know that Lady Haruhi's true form is much larger than what you see, correct? Well, the ones who created me..." She glanced at Peach briefly, before continuing, "Basically they cut off the lower half of her body and somehow converted it into a giant cyborg robot."

"Th-they cut off half your body?!" Tekken cried in shock. "That's terrible!" The others at the table had similar expressions.

"Good thing you can heal yourself, right?" John pointed out.

"Yeah, I was able to regenerate," Haruhi nodded. "...may I continue, Neon? I know it's hard for you to go through this again..."

"...It is fine," the alien Oracle responded after a moment. "As long as my tale is not... publicized. Even back home, the whole truth is still classified information..."

"I won't say anything," Peach shook her head.

"Nor will I, save perhaps to my fellow CPUs," Vert said. "And I'm certain I can convince them to not publicize the matter, either..."

"Very well, that is acceptable," Neon acquiesced. "Go on, milady."

"Well, it's a little complicated, but the gist is that a group of really bad people decided to use that robot to basically instigate the apocalypse, reverting everyone to primordial ooze so they could rule over them as gods." There were looks of horror and disbelief on everyone's faces, the only sound being Peach's fork clattering to the floor. "...I know, right? Neon here was basically part of a counter-plan by her creator to initiate the apocalypse on _his_ terms, so he could reunite with his long-dead wife. She was to act as a conduit of sorts between him and myself, basically merging us so he could become a god. But she rebelled against him at the last moment, merging with me herself. Figures it would take that act to finally wake me up..."

"I assume you were displeased with humans trying to play God?" Chika ventured.

"Displeased? I was _pissed,"_ the brunette growled. "Unfortunately, by the time I awakened, the other guys' plot to cause Armageddon was well underway... I couldn't stop it, but I _could_ take control of it. So, while everyone did end up reverting to primordial ooze, I made it so that they could regain their form if their will was strong enough. Except the really bad ones, I isolated them so that they couldn't rule over anyone but themselves. A fitting fate if you ask me."

"Fortunately, many did regain their human form, including those I had been closest to," Neon took over at this point. "However, I felt I could no longer interact with them, given what I had done, even if they were the reason I rebelled against my creator... Which is why I am so grateful that Ma'nabatea decided to have mercy on me, and make me her new Oracle..."

"Well, when you first merged with me, I gained all your knowledge and memories," Haruhi explained. "So I knew that what happened wasn't your fault- you were just another piece on the game-board, so to speak. Honestly, I kinda felt responsible for what happened, seeing as I was sleeping for so long... So I've made a point to be a more active goddess since then, not just for that planet, but for the whole cluster."

"Even so, given that such an apocalypse occurred, it must have caused a complete societal breakdown," Vert observed.

"That's true," the Animenga goddess nodded grimly. "Which is why it was so fortunate that a scout ship from a nearby intergalactic empire detected what happened on that planet, and went to investigate... after a rough introduction, I managed to convince said empire to colonize Neon's planet in order to restore some semblance of government and order. They needed natural resources that said planet could provide, anyway, so it was actually a fairly civil takeover."

Peach then commented, "...if Neptuna were here, she'd probably say something along the lines of, 'Well I hope this empire isn't ruled by a guy with black armor and a respirator like, _Hoooh-hah, hooooh-hah...'"_

"I-I am fairly certain there is no one in the empire's ruling class like that," Neon sweat-dropped.

"Now who's been reading too many comic books?" Haruhi snarked. "I mean, yeah, they're conquerors, but compared to the scum on Neon's planet that tried to become gods, these guys are pretty decent in comparison. In fact, the princess is really nice and friendly to everyone she meets... Actually, I was thinking, if the denizens of Gamindustri were cool with us, maybe said princess could travel here on a diplomatic mission of sorts to establish ties between here and said empire..."

"As long as they don't try to conquer us," Peach stated firmly. "We just got done repelling a Demon Lord's efforts to do the same, after all..."

"For once, I agree with Peach," Chika said. "Of course, given that we are such a long distance from the Animenga Cluster would make it difficult for them to do so, correct?"

"Correct," Neon nodded. "In fact, I doubt they could actually reach this world with conventional space travel, at least without milady's help..."

"Speaking of which, we should go and meet with the space team here," Haruhi cut in. "Buuut~, since I don't wanna freak those guys out by teleporting, we should probably drive instead..."

"Yes, but Chika is the only one with a driver's license," Vert pointed out.

"I can't!" the greenette's face went pale. "Forcing me to come out of my room to eat is one thing, but I shan't show my face in public, with those lewd photos out there!"

"Eh, that's easily solved," Haruhi shrugged, snapping her fingers. Suddenly Chika's hair turned black, her clothes having changed to a black t-shirt and blue jeans, as well as a black baseball cap on her head and sunglasses on her face! "There! Now no one will recognize you!"

"Oh my..." Chika grunted as she looked over herself, pulling a lock of hair before her face to observe the color closely. "Please tell me this is not permanent..."

"Eh, it'll wear off in a week or so," the alien goddess assured her. "Hopefully by that time all those lewd photos will be deleted or whatever..."

"So who's all going?" John Smith asked. "I'd like to go, but we can't all fit in one car..."

"I'll stay here with Tekken and hold down the fort," Peach offered. "If we hear anything about those Ho-Hum guys causing trouble, we'll give you a call..."

"Exactly what I hoped you would say," Vert concurred. "Give us a call, and _don't_ try to confront them yourself."

"I w-wouldn't want t-to, anyway," Tekken stuttered.

"Believe me, I'm not falling into another trap like that," the muscular blonde muttered as she gathered her silverware. "I'll take care of the dishes if you guys wanna get moving..."

"Thanks," John said as he handed his empty plate to Peashy. "You ready to go, Oracle Hakozaki?"

"Just Chika is fine," the now-black haired woman sighed as she adjusted her cap and glasses. "I'll go get the car ready..."

_*Leanbox Aeronautics and Space Administration (LASA) HQ*_

And so, about a half-hour later, the group drove up to the security gate of LASA headquarters, Chika driving, Vert riding shotgun, John Smith sitting between Haruhi and Neon in the back seat. As the sleek black car approached, a security guard stepped forward, holding up a hand, the car obediently stopping. Chika then rolled down the window as the guard walked up, saying, "Sorry, we're in lockdown right now. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to turn around..."

"What exactly is the situation, sir?" Vert inquired.

"Lady Vert?!" the man did a double-take. "Uh, well, I don't know all the details, but apparently a nasty virus has gotten into LASA's computer systems..."

"That's not good," John muttered, looking up from his Lowee-DS system. "We don't want rockets launching all over... any of you any good with computer programs?"

"I play games, I don't create them," Vert stated. "Well, I do create the hardware, but viruses aren't my cup of tea, so to speak..."

"What about you, Haruhi?" the NPC asked next.

"Hmmm..." the alien bit her lip. "...I might have an idea. Hey, how long ago did this virus start getting into the system?"

"Well, I got the lockdown order about two hours ago," the guard recalled. "How would that help anything, though?"

"You'll see... Chika, stop the car, please." The Oracle promptly shut off the engine, Haruhi climbing out of the car, John and Neon following so they could stretch. "Alright, now..." The seven-eyed mask appeared on the goddess' face as she slowly scanned the building from side to side... "Okay, got everyone located." The mask then vanished as Haruhi snapped her fingers- and suddenly a large group of NPCs in white dress shirts and slacks surrounded the car, quite a few sitting in chairs!

"What the-?!" one technician looked around in shock. "How'd we get out here?!"

"Alright, I'm going in," Haruhi said, materializing a megaphone and handing it to Vert as she got out. "Make sure there's no panic or anything, OK? This shouldn't take long." With that, she vanished in a flash of light.

Fumbling with the megaphone for a moment, Vert managed to turn it on before announcing, _"Everyone, this is Vert, your CPU! I must ask you all to remain calm! Everything is under control!"_

"Lady Vert?!" an NPC walked up. "With all due respect, how'd we appear out here like this?!"

_"All will be-"_ she winced as the man covered his ears, pulling her mouth away from the megaphone. "(ahem) All will be explained in due time, I promise you..."

"Hey, look!" another NPC pointed, the group turning to see the building enveloped in something like a force field, a pair of clock hands materializing and slowly winding backwards... when the minute hand had completed three counter-clockwise revolutions, the clock and force field vanished.

_"Attention, attention, may I have your attention please!"_ Haruhi's voice came over the loudspeakers. _"This is the all clear to the virus infection alert! I repeat, this is the all clear to the virus infection alert! You may now re-enter the building and resume normal operations!"_

"You heard the lady, let's go," Vert ordered, the space team slowly beginning to walk back to the building, some of them pushing/carrying their chairs, the security guard promptly opening the gate for them. "John Smith, Neon, you're with me. Chika, you find a place to park the car, once the crowds have cleared out."

"I wonder if this was the doing of that Ho-Hum group," John pondered.

"It is a likely possibility," Neon concurred as they followed the busty CPU...

_*Inside LASA HQ...*_

"I don't... I don't believe it!" one technician gasped as he checked a computer. "The virus is gone!"

"Well, duh, what part of _'all-clear'_ don't you understand?" Haruhi said as she nonchalantly walked into the room, holding what appeared to be a tiny purple blob in one hand. "The clocks'll be a few hours backwards, but you can fix that, right?"

"But... how did you do that?!" another NPC queried.

"Well, after I warped you all outside, I turned back time to the point where the virus first entered the system, then I plucked it out before it could start causing damage and multiplying." She held up the purple blob, which had a single large red eye and two tiny little horn protrusions.

"So that's the virus?" John Smith observed.

"Not anymore!" Haruhi declared as she crushed it with her other hand, what was left dissolving into bits and bytes. "Unfortunately, you're probably not gonna be able to trace where it came from... but at least you know what it looks like, so you can update your anti-virus filters accordingly."

"Well, we'll try..." the first technician said uncertainly.

"Just a moment!" another NPC called, this one with a slightly muscular build and dressed in a more formal business suit. "Lady Vert, who in the world is this woman, and how could she just warp us all out willy-nilly?!"

"Please, Mr. Heavyfoot, calm yourself," the CPU said in a soothing tone. "I assure you, Haruhi here has no ill intentions..."

"I assume that you are the head administrator of this organization?" Neon guessed.

"Oh, right, I forget my manners," the man muttered. "James Heavyfoot, LASA administrator, that's me. And before you start making jokes, yes I'm a little on the heavy side, but it's mostly muscle, not fat."

"Oh, darn, my opportunity for snark is ruined," John Smith deadpanned. "Guess I'll have to find another oddly-named victim..."

Haruhi couldn't help but snicker at this. "(ahem) Aaaaanyway~, to answer your question, I'm a goddess like your CPU here... just on a higher tier, so to speak. And Neon here is my Oracle, like Chika is to Vert."

"Do you remember the satellite that your team launched to the Animenga Star Cluster?" Neon inquired.

"Oh, yeah," a technician spoke up, "but we lost contact with it not long after it reached it's destination, due to radio interference..."

"That wasn't the only reason," Haruhi sighed as she crossed her arms. "Having something like that thunk me on the head while we're traveling between planets... major migraine."

James Heavyfoot slowly turned to the brunette in shock. "You can't be serious... Lady Vert, if this your idea of a joke-"

"This is no joke," Vert cut him off. "Neon, if you would recite the Konami Code that I uploaded onto that satellite before launch..."

"Yes, Lady Vert," Neon nodded, before clearly stating, "Up, down, up, down, left, left, right, right, A, B, start."

A chorus of gasps echoed through the chamber. "Th-that's exactly right!" one NPC babbled in disbelief.

"It's the real thing!" another exclaimed. "Aliens from another universe!"

"Hold it!" Heavyfoot interrupted. "That's very nice, but seeing as _you_ were the one who came up with that code, Lady Vert, you could have just told her!"

"Wow, this guy's even more of a cynic than I am," John muttered.

"Well, around here, young man, we deal in facts and measurable data, _not_ comic book fantasies!" The LASA administrator told him off.

"I don't appreciate your attitude, Mr. Heavyfoot," Vert said with a frown. "But if it's facts you want... Neon, show them your true self."

"...Understood, Lady Vert," Neon obeyed, promptly transforming to her angelic form (though she kept her extra eyes closed for the moment), causing more gasps from the space team. "Now, touch my wings and see for yourself, sir..."

James cautiously approached, gingerly reaching out his hand and touching one of Neon's wings, as if expecting it to fall off. When it didn't, he got a firmer grip and tugged a little, causing the alien to wince and grunt in mild pain. "Th-they're real!" he gasped, backing off and stumbling into a nearby chair. "Oh my Goddess... I think I'm gonna have a heart attack...!"

"No no, no cardiac arrest on my watch," Haruhi gently admonished, materializing a glass of ice water in her hand. "Here, will this help?" The large man took the glass and promptly gulped down the contents...

"Well, I for one, am a little more open-minded than my boss," another NPC came up to the goddess. "Bliden DeMint, deputy administrator. A pleasure to meet you, Lady... Haruhi, was it?"

"That's right," Haruhi smiled as she shook the man's hand. "Obviously, this isn't my true form, either, but I didn't wanna scare or freak out anyone too much, so this is what you get!"

"Indeed, Both Lady Neptune and Lady Rei were quite off-put by milady's true appearance when she first touched down in Lowee," Neon appended.

"Lowee?! Wait, why _Lowee?"_ Heavyfoot grunted, having managed to regain some composure.

"...Oh, yeah, that reminds me," Haruhi turned to her Oracle. "I have yet to penalize you for getting the location wrong in the first place!"

"Uh oh." Neon took a step back in fear as her goddess snapped her fingers, only to be suddenly doused with green slime that poured from above! "Gahhh! _Ptooey!_ How disgusting! Milady, how _could_ you?!" A good number of the LASA team members broke into laughter at the sight of the angel with slime clinging to her arms and wings!

"Never let it be said that I don't have a sense of humor!" Haruhi proclaimed with a grin as she took a bow, the space team promptly applauding her...

_*Back at Ho-Hum HQ...*_

"Gone?!" BlackGatomon muttered in confusion as she sat in front of her laptop. "How did... oh, wait a minute, I bet that alien goddess got rid of it, meow. Should've known..." She sighed in frustration at having been foiled so easily... then another idea came to her. "Well, like they say, the best laid plans of mice, cats and men often go awry, so if at first you don't succeed... try, try again!" She grinned as she started typing again, preparing to send her virus to a new location...

_*To be continued...*_

In case you're wondering, yes, that was a Kuramon that Haruhi was holding. But where will our evil kitty send this virus to next? Find out next chapter! And don't forget to review!


	19. Chapter 18- A Nun and A New Recruit

I have the day off due to reduced hours, so I may as well write more!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 18- A Nun and A New Recruit

_*Lastation Basilicom, outside*_

"Good morning, Lady Noire," A nun dressed in white with a light blue klobuk on her head resembling a mouse greeted the CPU as she exited the Basilicom.

"Oh, good morning, Sister Ciel," Noire responded. "How are you today?"

"I'm quite fine, milady," Ciel replied. Though she had just recently joined the religious order that helped keep the Basilicom running, the twin-tailed goddess had taken quite a liking to her, due to her gentle and cheery personality. "You haven't been overworked, have you?"

"No more than usual," Noire demurred. "I just needed to get some fresh air, that's all..." Suddenly an alarm sounded behind her, causing the two to turn toward the Basilicom... "Oh no, it's a virus alert! Someone's hacked our computers!"

"Oh dear, we should go see what the problem is!" Ciel suggested, Noire nodding as they rushed back inside...

_*Basilicom Server Room*_

"What's the situation?" Noire demanded as she and Ciel dashed into the room.

"Lady Noire! The virus came in and ate through our firewall like it was nothing!" a priest cried in panic. "All our countermeasures are useless! It's only a matter of time before all our data is completely corrupted!"

"Let me look!" Ciel grunted as she shoved another priest aside, looking closely at the monitor, seeing an image of a single-eyed purple blob... "What the... _Kuramon?!"_

"You know what that is, Sister Ciel?!" Noire gasped.

The nun bit her lip, as she thought quickly... "Lady Noire, allow me," she said, taking a few steps back, before abruptly dashing forward-

-and diving directly _into the monitor,_ vanishing in a flash of blue pixels! "Huh?!" Noire and the priests cried in disbelief, the former having her eyes shrunk to white circles...

_(Music- 'Standard Battle', Digimon ReArise)_

Ciel righted herself and touched down inside the server's cyberspace, seeing several Kuramon feasting on the data files... "Just as I thought," she growled as a sheathed sword materialized in her hands, with a clover shape at the end of the hilt... _"White Clover Horizontal Slash!"_ She drew and swung her sword with blinding speed, cutting two Kuramon in half, destroying them! Ciel then ran forward, striking down several more Kuramon with swift sword strikes!

"The... the corruption is slowing down!" an NPC priest cried as he observed events through the monitor. "Is Sister Ciel deleting the virus somehow?!"

"But... how could she do that?!" Noire wondered.

Back in cyberspace, the remaining Kuramon were flying away from Ciel, out of her sword's range... "You think you're safe at a distance?" the nun smirked. _"Byakusai!"_ She flung two knives from her sleeves, piercing a few Kuramon and killing them! She then dashed forward with blinding speed, cutting down more of the blobs, the few remaining Kuramon fleeing for their lives through a data port! "And _stay out,_ you vile data-munchers!" Ciel yelled as she slashed the port, disabling it.

"She did it!" the priest gasped. "The virus has been completely purged!"

"Can we restore from backup?" Noire inquired.

"We should be able to..." the NPC nodded. "But what about Sister Ciel?" His question has answered as the nun suddenly emerged from the monitor, landing gracefully on her feet.

"There. That should take care of the problem..." She looked up to see everyone staring at her in incredulity. "...I suppose I have some explaining to do, don't I?"

"You most certainly do!" Noire nodded firmly. "For starters, how did you just leap into cyberspace like that?! Even I can't do that without using Nepgear's Nepulus Rift!"

"Well, the simple answer is... I am not organic," Ciel answered. "My root origin is digital, in other words, I am composed of bits and bytes, like your computer programs and video games..."

"Y-you're a digital being?!" one of the priests gasped.

"The proper term is 'digital monster', or 'Digimon' for short," the nun clarified. "My full name is 'Sistermon Ciel', but I just happened to look human enough to pass for one... ordinarily, I would not be able to manifest myself in reality, but the nature of this 'Gamindustri' world allows me to do so."

"At the risk of sounding too much like Neptune, this IS a video game universe, so it's no surprise a digital being could substantiate under the right circumstances," Noire mused. "But why would you come here to begin with?"

"Well, back home, I was more of a traveling nun, wandering the Digital World, serving my fellow Digimon and punishing any troublemakers," the Sistermon explained. "But one day, I sensed a tear in the fabric of reality, inside which I sensed the unmistakable aura of a Demon Lord Digimon. So I entered the rift and followed it to this world... but by the time I had gotten my bearings, I learned that said Demon Lord had already been defeated, and in a different nation, to boot. Still, I decided to stay for awhile, just to be sure..."

"Well your caution was well founded then," the CPU stated. "That ex-Demon Lord, BlackGatomon, has been recruited into the terrorist group Ho-Hum to create expendable minions to fill out their ranks... and I'll bet that 'Kuramon' you deleted was her doing, as well..."

"A few of them escaped, actually," Ciel pointed out, "but yes, it was likely BlackGatomon's doing... in such case, I freely offer my blade to assist in your fight against this Ho-Hum group, Lady Noire..." She kneeled and bowed her head in deference.

"I gladly accept your help, Sistermon Ciel," Noire agreed. "First things first, let's go to my office so you can tell me more about your world and this Kuramon virus..."

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"So, you wish to recruit me to your cause?" a familiar blue-haired witch mused. "Well, if your goal is simply to challenge the CPUs without destroying them, I might consider it..."

"Your knowledge of mechanical engineering would be of great assistance to the House of Humiliation," Overlord Momus said. "Most of my other minions are competent enough in battle, but not much else..."

"And how would I be compensated for my assistance?" MAGES. pressed.

"Well... how about this, for starters?" the horned man held up a soda can, causing the bluenette to gasp in shock.

_"Duck Tear Popper?!_ How did you know? And where did you find it?!"

"I have... connections, shall we say," Momus chortled, pulling the can away as MAGES. made a grab for it. "And I know where to get more..."

"Hnnnnngh..." the Mad Magician groaned, sweat visible on her forehead. "Y-you have made an offer I cannot refuse... very well, I'm in." Momus promptly brought the can of Duck P back within reach, the bluenette quickly grabbing and opening it, taking a long sip. "Oh yes... (ahem) Just so we're clear, the fact that your assassin was hiding in the corner had no bearing whatsoever on my decision..."

"What?!" Generic Ninja #25 gasped as he emerged from the darkness. "H-how did you...?!"

"I'm a scientist. I notice things. And you would have not been the first to try- and fail- to strike me down under cover of darkness! Fuahahahaha!" MAGES. laughed.

"Pea's back!" little Peashy cried as she dashed into the room. "Sowwy I was gone so long, but I had to make sure Ploot got home OK, after Haru-ni kicked her butt!"

"Ah, welcome back, Citrus," Overlord Momus acknowledged.

"Citrus? That is Peashy from the Ultradimension, unless I miss my guess," MAGES. commented. "Or is that a codename of sorts?"

"Correct," the Ho-Hum leader confirmed. "I was thinking of giving you the codename 'Dr. Pop.' What do you think?"

"Hmhmhmhmm... a codename derived from the nectar of the gods? Very well, I accept," the Mad Magician nodded. "Let us all drive the CPUs down the path of madness together! Fuahahahaha!"

"You're weird, Witch Lady," Peashy deadpanned. "Oh yeah, Pea heard somebody taking in a closet nearby! I think it was that black kitty, she was sayin' somethin' about viruses..."

"BlackGatomon? ...Lead the way, Citrus," Momus gently ordered. The five-year-old CPU nodded and led him and MAGES. to the closet in question. As they got close, they could hear someone complaining...

"...first the alien goddess, now a Sistermon foils me, meow?! What else could possibly go wrong?!" the closet door was opened, revealing BlackGatomon sitting in front of a laptop, the cat whirling around to see her master glaring down at her... "Uh... meow?" she grinned sheepishly.

"I believe the operative phrase is 'busted'," MAGES. said with an evil smirk.

_*To be continued...*_

I see torture in poor kitty's future... but how will the appearance of a new Digimon shake things up? Read and review!


	20. Chapter 19- Interviews & Interrogations

Next chapter, GO!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 19- Interviews and Interrogations

_*Planeptune Basilicom, Training Room*_

"Nep whoa! Ack! Yikes!" Neptune cried as she desperately dodged every projectile flying at her, until one nailed her in the face! _"OW!_ I think my nose is bent!"

"Oh come on, it's just a tennis ball!" Dragon Ball sighed as she juggled another ball in her hand. "You girls need to work on your reflexes, if you don't want that ninja almost getting the better of you again!"

"You've got a point, but they still kinda sting, as fast as you throw them," Nepgear pointed out, she and her sister dressed in exercise clothes, Gear herself wearing a headband to keep her long hair out of her face.

"Yeah, besides, we can handle that ninja if he shows up again!" Neptune insisted.

"Are you sure about that?" DB's voice spoke up _behind_ Neptune, causing her to yelp and leap a foot in the air! "See, if I'd been that ninja just now... _Krrrrrttt!"_ She drew a finger across her throat. "That's why you need training!"

"Okay, okay..." the CPU sighed in resignation. "Can you at least throw the balls a little slower?"

"Nepsy! Gearsy!" Uzume cried as she dashed into the room. "Turn on the TV! The aliens are making their public debut!"

"Really?!" Nepgear gasped, running to grab the remote and switch the channel on the TV above the nearby treadmill...

"This is Box News Network, no S-rank game breakers, just fair and balanced news!" the female NPC reporter announced. "I'm currently standing in front of LASA headquarters, where an incredible development has taken place! It seems the Truth is very much Out There, as we have just confirmed that extraterrestrial beings have made first contact with the space team! They apparently intercepted the satellite that was launched by LASA to the Animenga Star Cluster, and I am told that the cluster has a goddess and Oracle, just like the four nations of Gamindustri! And now, here with more information is our own CPU, Lady Vert!" The busty blonde promptly stepped into the camera's range, arms crossed and with a slight smile on her face. "Lady Vert, when were you first made aware of this development?"

"Thank you. Actually, due to navigational error, the aliens first touched down in Lowee and made contact with Blanc, who summoned me and the other two CPUs to meet with them," Vert explained. "The two aliens then traveled to Planeptune so that the Oracle there, Histoire, could teach them about the history of this world, before coming here to Leanbox..."

"So can we assume that they will visit Lastation as well?"

"That's the plan," Vert confirmed. "And I feel I must stress that these aliens have no ill intentions towards our world, so anyone afraid of abduction or dissection can rest easy..."

"So what do these aliens look like, and why are you keeping them out of the public eye?" the reporter pressed.

"Well, they look human enough, though they're technically in disguise," the CPU replied. "However, they have informed me that many denizens in the Animenga cluster are as human as you are, or quite close. In fact, Neptune has met with another alien that arrived afterward, and she too looks indistinguishable from any other human..."

"So are there any other aliens that will be arriving? And you didn't answer my earlier question about the aliens not appearing in person..."

"Nothing concrete at the moment," the busty blonde shook her head. "As for not appearing in person... look behind you."

"Awww! You ruined it!" A voice spoke up behind the NPC, causing her to yelp and quickly whirl around, revealing Haruhi standing there. "Well, anyway... Hi, I'm Haruhi, the goddess of the Animenga cluster! First off the bat, I'm not a CPU like Vert, so I don't depend on citizen's faith to sustain my existence..."

"O-oh, I see," the reporter grunted, a little shaken.

"You'll have to excuse her, she's a bit of a prankster," Vert said.

"Yeah, well, with all the crap I deal with back home, I gotta keep happy somehow. Laughter is the best medicine, you know," Haruhi said with a wink.

"I-I see..." the NPC female nodded, trying to compose herself. "S-so, are you the only goddess in the whole cluster?"

"Well..." Haruhi took on a contemplative pose. "There is one other that I know about, but she only watches over four specific planets, and she's kinda aloof. Not to mention beyond human comprehension. We've kinda agreed to leave each other alone... I mean, it's _kind_ of a bad idea to associate too close with someone who's named after nightmares..."

"So is _your_ true form beyond mortal comprehension?"

Haruhi glanced over at Vert, who frowned and shook her head. "Well, not exactly, but it can be a bit overwhelming..." The seven-eyed mask appeared in her hand. "This is kinda what my real face looks like."

"S-seven eyes?!" the reporter grunted.

"I know, gives new meaning to the term 'all-seeing goddess,' right?" the brunette deadpanned. Letting the mask vanish, she continued, "Now you see why I took on a human form... as for that other alien who arrived in Planeptune later, I instructed her to stay there and look after Neptune after she and her sister nearly got assassinated by a ninja..."

"Assassinated?!" the NPC recoiled.

"Yes, as I'm sure you know by now, a new terrorist group has arisen in Gamindustri, calling themselves the House of Humiliation, or Ho-Hum for short," Vert took over. "They have also attempted to assassinate CPU Candidate Uni in Lastation, as well as tried to place us and our subordinates into humiliating situations, hence their name."

"Not to mention that ninja turned my Oracle into an ice cube!" Haruhi growled in mild anger.

"Oh my, is she all right?!"

"She's fine now," the alien nodded, putting her hands behind her head. "Only reason she's not here with me at the moment is because she's a bit camera shy... Still, any help we can offer..."

"That's appreciated, but not really necessary," Vert abruptly cut her off. "As you just said, we CPUs are dependent on the faith of our citizens to survive... so how would it reflect on us if we had to rely on aliens to resolve this conflict?"

"They attacked my Oracle!" Haruhi shot back. "And they took lewd photos of your Oracle too, so I think you would understand how I feel!"

"S-so you think this terrorist group was behind those unflattering pictures of your Oracle and bodyguard?" the reporter stepped in to try and defuse the tension.

"I don't think, I know, because I confronted them personally," the CPU stated firmly. "Unfortunately, they managed to escape, but we have put BOLOs out on the currently known members..."

"Well, at least let us help with the investigation," Haruhi proposed, "but we'll leave the take-down to you and your fellow CPUs. Would that work?"

"...That is acceptable," Vert agreed. "Perhaps once you're done here, you can head to Lastation to help Noire investigate the attack on Uni."

"Sure thing," Haruhi nodded. "Well, anyway, I'm gonna go back to the LASA building, I kinda wanted to see how their space technology matches up with back home. See ya!" With that, she promptly walked off-camera.

"I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean to argue with her on-camera like that," Vert apologized. "Hopefully, once this conflict is resolved, we can have an official delegation from Animenga's government or governments to establish official ties, but as I said, nothing's been set in stone yet."

"Well, that would certainly be an event for the history books," the reporter mused. "Let's hope that said governments have benevolent intentions..."

"Well, again, to set the public's minds at ease, I was informed that any spaceships from that cluster would not be capable of making the trip here to Gamindustri without Haruhi's assistance..."

"But what about that one alien that arrived later?"

"She's a special case, she's a disciple of Haruhi herself," Vert explained. "Well, I think I've taken enough of your time, we have to get back to the investigation of the House of Humiliation..."

"Well, good luck with that, Lady Vert. And thank you!" the reporter nodded to her as she left.

"I guess that's it," Nepgear said as she switched off the TV. "Let's hope nobody panics over this development..."

"Well, maybe we should go out to the streets and ask people what they think," Neptune suggested. "And take DB here with us, so they understand these aliens aren't like, the brain-sucking kind or whatever..."

"Good idea, Nepsy!" Uzume nodded.

"But what about your training?" Dragon Ball asked.

"We can pick it up tomorrow!" the CPU proclaimed. "Gotta make sure the people don't panic, after all!"

"If Histoire was here, she'd accuse you of trying to avoid work again," Nepgear sighed.

"Hey, the day's still young, so maybe we can pick up the training again when we get back, before dinnertime!" Uzume proposed.

"That works for me!" Dragon Ball agreed.

"Aw nuts, foiled again!" Neptune sighed. "You guys know me too well..." The losing horn from 'The Price Is Right' promptly played in the background... "Neppit, author, stop plaguing my life with incidental music!"

_*Lastation Basilicom, Noire's office*_

"So there are actually _seven_ Demon Lords?!" Noire gasped in incredulity.

"Yes, but on the upside, they don't tend to get along with each other very well," Sistermon Ciel explained. "So it's very possible this Demon Lord was acting entirely on her own..."

"Well, hopefully they only show up as bonus boss fights unrelated to the storyline," Uni spoke up.

"You've been hanging around Neptune and Nepgear too much," Noire sweat-dropped.

(Pot, meet kettle,) Uni thought to herself, but kept quiet.

"Anyway, according to what I heard from Vert, this Demon Lord Digimon started out as a different demon's pet cat," Noire continued, "from another world entirely..."

"You called her BlackGatomon, which is indeed a black cat of sorts," Ciel nodded. "Which means the Demon Lord form she took was most likely that of Lilithmon, Demon Lord of Lust. Which is fortunate for us, as she's actually the weakest of the seven..."

"Even so, she almost killed Vert by herself, but Neptune and Vert working together managed to take her down," Noire expounded. "So if all four of us CPUs got together, she wouldn't stand a chance..."

"Might explain why she joined up with Ho-Hum," Uni suggested. "Those guys would have knowledge of this world that she didn't have..."

"Yes, and also knowledge about your abilities, so she wouldn't be caught off-guard so easily next time," Sistermon Ciel concurred.

"Yeah, but you can help us out dealing with her, right?" the CPU Candidate suggested.

"I will gladly offer what assistance I can," the nun nodded. "However, I am only a Champion-level Digimon, and while BlackGatomon is technically on the same level, Lilithmon is two tiers above me..."

"So how many levels or tiers of Digimon are there?" Noire inquired.

"Six tiers, starting with In-Training I and II, which are basically the equivalent of newborns and toddlers," Ciel explained. "The next stage is Rookie, where Digimon forms begin varying widely, then Champion, which is usually the adult form. The next stage after that is Ultimate, which is rare for many Digimon to reach naturally, and only by surviving harsh training and several battles. The final stage, the Mega level, was once thought of as a myth, as very few Digimon ever reach such a level naturally..."

"And Lilithmon is a Mega-level," Noire concluded. "So if she ever reaches that level again, we can't hold back at all... Still, even if you can't match her at full-power, at least now we understand her true nature a little better, thanks to you..."

"So what about that virus you drove off?" Uni asked next.

"Kuramon, a data-devouring Digimon born of pure malice," the nun explained. "Fortunately, it's an In-Training I-level, so it's easily handled by the likes of me... we might have problems if it starts to evolve, however. We should start scanning the network for the few that escaped..."

"Right, so you can nip them in the bud," Noire nodded. "I'll go and contact Cybercrime at once..."

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"Nyaaa, the blood's rushing to my head, meow!" BlackGatomon wailed as she hung upside-down by her tail, a rope tied to said tail from the ceiling.

"Now then, you will confess your knaveries willingly," said MAGES. as she stepped forward, "or you shall wish that it was a cold day in hell..." The end of her wand lit up with fire, slowly closing in on the kitty...

BlackGatomon sweated profusely, feeling her whiskers starting to burn... _"OK, OK, I'll talk!_ I made a virus to attack the Leanbox space team's computers, meow!" The fire promptly halted, though still uncomfortably close.

"Did it work?" Overlord Momus asked.

"For a few hours, b-but then it just vanished, meow!" the black cat yelled. "I think that alien goddess must have destroyed it somehow! B-but I don't think she was able t-to trace it, meow!"

"Did you send this virus anywhere else?" Momus pressed.

"I s-sent it to th-the Lastation Basilicom's s-server, meow! But those ones got deleted by a Sistermon! She's a Digimon like myself, meow!"

"...MAGES., step back," Momus ordered, the witch promptly backing off as the Ho-Hum leader pressed a lever, lowering the rope BlackGatomon was tied to a foot or so, enabling him to pick up the cat and turn her upright. "Explain. What is a 'Sistermon'?"

"Ugh..." the Digimon groaned as she shook her head, before replying, "Sh-she's a Digimon that looks like a nun, but knows how to fight, meow! There's a few different kinds, I think this one is the Ciel kind, she uses a sword and daggers to fight, meow! But what really worries me is who they're associated with..."

"Go on..."

"W-well, back when I still lived in the Digital World, when I was just a little Salamon, I heard tales of these 'royal knights' that protected the peace, meow," BlackGatomon explained. "And that some of them were assisted by Sistermons... I'm afraid of what'll happen if she decides to call in these royal knights, it could mean Game Over for us all, meow!"

"So what would you suggest?" Overlord Momus asked in a neutral tone.

"Well, if were up to me, I'd say take her out now, before she has the chance to call for backup, meow..."

"Fortunate for us that you are not in charge, then," the horned man quipped. "MAGES., cut her loose." The Mad Magician directed her fire to the rope tied to BlackGatomon's tail, freeing the kitty. "After all, you yourself admit that these 'royal knights' were just tales that you heard... So, before we fly off the handle, we should find more about this Sistermon..."

"Well, maybe that Generic Soldier could spy on her, meow," the evil Digimon suggested.

"Exactly what I was thinking," Momus nodded. "Dr. Pop, go and contact Generic Soldier #20 in Lastation... Also, see if any traces of that virus remain on the Lastation Internep..."

"As you wish," the Mad Magician bowed briefly, before leaving.

"So, does this mean I'm off the hook?" BlackGatomon said hopefully.

"...not quite. _Citrus!"_

"Coming!" Peashy dashed into the room. "What's going on, Mom-Us?"

"Take BlackGatomon into your room and... play with her," the Ho-Hum leader tossed the cat to her.

"Yay! I get to play with kitty!" the child CPU exclaimed happily, easily carrying the Digimon over her shoulder despite almost being the same size. "Let's play football! You can be the quart-back, and I'll be the tackle!"

_"Nooooooo!"_ BlackGatomon screeched as she was carried out of the room...

"Take care not to damage her collar!" Momus called after them.

_*To be continued...*_

You'd almost feel sorry for the cat if she wasn't a Demon Lord... Hope you liked this chapter!


	21. Chapter 20- Virus Busters

Took a while to figure out where I wanted this chapter to go...

Anyway, ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 20- Virus Busters

_*Planeptune City suburbs*_

"Lady Uzume, so nice to see you again," the old man greeted. "And you brought Lady Neptune and Nepgear as well, I see..."

"Hey, old man," Uzume waved. "You happen to catch the recent broadcast?"

"If it was on cable, no I didn't," he shook his head. "Can't afford those newfangled TVs anyway... why, did something happen?"

"Would ya believe, first contact with aliens?" Neptune spoke up.

"Oh my, truly?!" he gasped. "But why come all the way out here to tell me that? And who's this lady with you?"

"I'm Dragon Ball," the martial artist greeted. "I'm actually one of those aliens... and please, no more green skin jokes!"

"Oh really?" the old man adjusted his glasses. "Prove you're not human then... not that I think Lady Uzume would lie, but..."

"Well, how about this?" DB said as she unwrapped her monkey tail from her waist. "You can touch it, but don't squeeze, alright?"

The octogenarian looked skeptical as he reached out to touch the appendage... "Hmm..." he tugged at it a little causing the spiky-haired woman to wince, which he noticed. "Oh my! It is real!"

"Told ya so," Neptune muttered. "She comes from the Animenga Star Cluster, if you're wondering..."

"Is that right...?" the old man's face scrunched up a little as something occurred to him. "...Well, now that I think about it, didn't someone in Leanbox send a space satellite out that way?"

"That's right, sir," Nepgear nodded, "and the goddess of that world intercepted it, so she and her Oracle came to respond..."

"I'm not the goddess or the Oracle," Dragon Ball clarified. "I'm more like... a disciple of Lady Lilith- er, I mean Lady Haruhi. Sorry, she's got a lot of different names," she chuckled sheepishly with a hand behind her head.

"And you're sure these alien lifeforms can be trusted?" the old man asked, leaning forward on his cane.

"They seem on the level enough to me!" Neptune proclaimed. "Besides, Oracle Neon got attacked by a new bad-guy group, so now we've got a common enemy..."

"They're called the House of Humiliation, and they almost put me and Neptune in an embarrassing situation," Nepgear elaborated. "But we managed to get out of it, though..."

"Don't worry, if they attack again, I'll help take 'em down!" Dragon Ball promised.

"Just as long as Lady Uzume gets some action," the old man said. "She needs Shares too, you know..."

"Heh, thanks for lookin' out for me," the redheaded CPU chuckled, blushing slightly...

"Yeah, by the way, I never heard about what the deal with Uzume was," DB realized.

"Well, if you've got some time, I can tell you about how things were back when she was first born, when I was a young'un," the old man offered.

The trio of CPUs looked at each other briefly. "...Sure, I guess we can do that," Uzume agreed. "Though I'll warn you, Dragsy, it's not the happiest tale..."

"Well, I know you were tryin' your best," the old man stated, "even if I was a brat to you back then... anyway, come on in. Sorry I don't have any pudding, Lady Neptune, but I do have some cookies..."

"I'm good, but thanks for offering," Neptune said as she and the others followed him inside...

_*Lastation Basilicom, outside*_

"This is Generic Soldier #20, I'm in position." The man in question was currently dressed in an all-black outfit that made him resemble an NPC.

"Good," came Overlord Momus' voice. "According to BlackGatomon, your target wears headgear resembling a mouse. Try to remain casual."

"Roger that. Soldier #20 out." He closed the connection, leaning against a nearby lamp post, keeping an eye on the entrance... only leap in surprise as two girls and a male NPC appeared before him in a flash of light! "What the-?!"

"Well, this looks like Lastation," the young shadow-man observed, looking around.

"Whoops, sorry! Didn't mean to scare you like that!" The middle girl, a brunette wearing a yellow head band and ribbons, leaned down and reached out her hand.

"Uh... right." Soldier #20 accepted the hand, getting pulled to his feet. "Wait, aren't you that alien goddess I saw on TV?!"

"That's me!" Haruhi grinned. "Just call me Lady Haruhi! And this my Oracle, Neon!"

"And I'm John Smith," the other NPC spoke up quickly. "Lowee native."

"But you can call him Kyon!" Haruhi added without missing a beat. "So what's your name?"

"Uh..." Soldier #20 thought quickly. "Harry. My name is Harry."

"A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Harry," Neon bowed politely. "Might you direct us to the Lastation Basilicom?"

"Right behind you," 'Harry' deadpanned, causing the trio to whirl around...

"Hah! Got it in one!" Haruhi pumped a fist in triumph. "And you were so paranoid we were gonna end up in the middle of nowhere!"

"I never said I was paranoid," Kyon retorted. "I was trying to make a joke!"

"Suuuure," the Animenga goddess rolled her eyes. "Aaaaanyway~, let's go in and meet up with Noire, see if we can help her find that rogue soldier that tried to kill her sister..."

_"Ah-choooo!"_ Soldier #20 sneezed vociferously.

"Gesundheit," Neon intoned. "It would seem the air here is not quite as clean as in Leanbox..."

"You think?!" 'Harry' sniffled. "Ugh, I'll be fine, you three go on in." The trio nodded, before doing just that... As soon as they were out of earshot, the 'NPC' brought his watch up to his face... "Momus, we have a new development..."

_*Basilicom Lobby*_

"I'm sorry, Lady Noire is out right now," the priest as the reception desk apologized.

"Where did she go?" Neon inquired.

"She went out with Sister Ciel to to try and find the remnants of that virus that corrupted our servers," another priest spoke up.

"Virus?!" Haruhi and Neon looked at each other. "I wonder if it's the same virus I took care of in Leanbox?"

"Possible, but doubtful," the Oracle shook her head. "There are many different kinds of computer viruses..."

"Well, this one looked like a little purple blob with a big red eye," the priest described.

"That's it!" Haruhi gasped. "That's the one I destroyed at LASA headquarters!"

"Well, I think we can safely assume that the House of Humiliation is behind this one now," John Smith postulated.

"Wait a minute, I know you!" the first priest exclaimed. "You're that alien goddess that was on the Box News broadcast!" A chorus of muted gasps echoed through the lobby...

"That's me! Don't worry, we come in peace!" Haruhi nodded with a smile, before introducing Neon and Kyon. "So do you know exactly where Noire went off to?"

"I don't know, unfortunately," the priest shook his head, "but Lady Uni might..." Pressing a button on the nearby desk phone, he spoke, "Lady Uni, would you please come down to the lobby? The alien goddess Haruhi has arrived..."

"I'll be right there!" Uni's voice answered. Sure enough, a few minutes later, the twin-tailed CPU Candidate emerged from the elevator. "U-umm, hi... I'm guessing you're looking for Noire?"

"Yeah! Sounds like she's having problems with the virus that I took care of in Leanbox..."

"Leanbox was hacked too?!" Uni gasped.

"Specifically, LASA Headquarters was hacked," Neon elaborated. "While milady took care of the virus, her method of disposal made it impossible to trace where it came from..."

"I know where it came from," Uni stated. "It was made by that ex-Demon Lord that almost killed Vert not too long ago!"

"Which means the House of Humiliation is indeed responsible, by extension," Neon said.

"Thanks for stating the obvious," Kyon sighed, before yelping in pain as Haruhi finger-flicked his shoulder.

"Behave," Haruhi chastised, turning back to Uni. "Anyway, do you know where Noire went off to? And how did she get rid of the virus here?"

"It was Sister Ciel!" a priest spoke up. "She literally dived into the system and cut down those viruses one after another!"

"S-say what?!" John Smith grunted in disbelief.

"Um, yeah, she's actually a digital being like the Demon Lord was," Uni appended. "She called herself a Digimon..."

"Digital Monster," Haruhi deduced. "Huh... I've heard of instances of digital entities substantiating in reality, but I didn't realize it was possible here..."

"Well, technically, this world's a video game of sorts itself," Kyon pointed out. "That's why we NPCs appear as shadows- it's a cost-cutting move by the developers..."

"And Noire says _I've_ been hanging out with Neptune and Nepgear too much," Uni deadpanned. "But as for Noire, she and Ciel went off to the gaming convention center..."

"Could you give us directions?" Neon requested.

"Yeah, sure," Uni nodded, taking out her mobile device and bringing up her Boogle Maps app. "Here you go," she held up the device, showing a jagged line that depicted the fastest route.

"Okay..." Haruhi studied the map closely. "Which way is north?"

"That way," Uni pointed.

"Great! Off we go, then! See ya!" Haruhi waved, before she and the others vanished, drawing a few gasps from the lobby.

_*Gaming Convention Center, entrance*_

_"AHHH! It's the aliens!"_ an NPC pointed as Haruhi, Neon and Kyon appeared at the entrance. "Run for your lives, we're all gonna dieeeeee!" he screamed and ran off in panic.

"Oh, COME ON! Seriously?!" Haruhi cried in dismay. "For crying out loud, we're NOT that kind of aliens!"

"Oh yeah? Looks like you've brainwashed one of our fellow NPCs to be your slave!" another shadow-man accused.

"Yare yare, brainwashed? Seriously?" Kyon face-palmed. "Buddy, if I was brainwashed, then I wouldn't be able to do _this!"_ He abruptly whirled around and socked Haruhi right in the face, knocking her on her butt!

_"Milady!"_ Neon gasped in shock as she promptly kneeled at Haruhi's side. "John Smith, how _could_ you?!"

"Hey, clearest way to prove I'm not a brainwashed slave," John grunted as he shook his hand. "Damn, that hurt!"

"Ugh... didn't ball up your fist tight enough. Owowow..." Haruhi grunted as she nursed her cheek. "I'm okay, I'm okay... ow."

"Hey, what's going on out here?!" a familiar voice yelled as Noire herself stepped out of the building. "Oh, Haruhi, you're here. What happened?"

"Just trying to prove to these idiots that I wasn't brainwashed," Kyon spoke for her.

"I think you definitely proved that," Haruhi said as Neon pulled her back to her feet. "Remind me not to piss you off..."

"Lady Noire, are you sure these aliens can be trusted?!" the NPC from before spoke up.

"They seem on the level enough to me," Noire responded. "Look, I understand your concern, but the ones you should be worried about right now are those Ho-Hum terrorists! After all, they actually tried to _kill_ Uni, remember?!" The NPC seemed cowed by that response, looking down at the ground and saying nothing more. "Anyway, what are you guys doing here?"

"It seems that the virus that you are attempting to contain is the same virus that infected LASA Headquarters in Leanbox," Neon explained. "So we came to offer assistance, though Lady Vert is adamant that we not overshadow you."

"Really? So we weren't the only ones that ex-Demon Lord tried to infect..." Noire mused. "Well, I've got somebody handling the problem already, but we should probably compare notes..." She then turned and walked back into the convention center, Haruhi and the others following behind...

_*Convention Center Main Server*_

"Hyah! Hah!" Sistermon Ciel cried as she cut down two Kuramon. (Curses, they've multiplied faster than I thought!) Even worse, some of them had grown bigger, with longer antennae and little claws on their underside! (Tsumemon... I can't let those ones escape!) She hurled a few knives at the larger viruses, nailing one but missing the rest as they dodged! (Oh no, they're adapting to my tactics...!) She took a defensive stance as the Tsumemon rushed forward to retaliate...

-only for all the viruses to suddenly be paralyzed by electric fields! A holo-screen opened, showing a blue-haired woman with a witch's hat and a mole below her right eye... "I have temporarily disabled the viruses!" she exclaimed. "Hurry and dispatch them before they escape!"

"Right, thank you!" Ciel nodded in gratitude, using her White Clover Blade to swiftly cut down the Kuramon and Tsumemon around her.

"MAGES.?! Is that you?!" Another holo-screen opened, showing Noire's face.

"But of course! I am always delighted to assist the CPUs, no matter what dimension I currently reside in! Fuahahaha!" the Mad Magician laughed. "But I am also fascinated by this digital entity..."

"She's a nun that works at my Basilicom," Noire stated. "That's all you need to know for now..."

"Her filename reads '(ciel)sister-dot-mon'," MAGES. observed.

"Sistermon Ciel, that's me," the Digimon said as she chopped several viruses to pieces. "I'm almost done, Lady Noire!"

"Good work!" Noire complimented. "Come back out here when you're done, okay? There's some people I want you to meet..."

"Perhaps I should travel to Lastation to meet her myself, in the near future," MAGES. mused. "However, I have prior obligations right now..."

Ciel stabbed one last Tsumemon in the eye, deleting it. "There... I think that's all of them," she panted. "Mages, was it? You have my gratitude for your assistance..."

"That's MAGES., with a period," the bluenette shook her head. "But you are most welcome! Until we meet again! Fuahahaha!" With that, the holo-screen closed.

"Alright, I'm coming out now," Ciel said as she rose upward, soon emerging from the monitor back into physical reality. "Oh! These must be the people you were talking about," she gasped as she observed Haruhi and the others.

"Whoa!" Kyon gasped at what he had just seen. "I've only seen stuff like this in comic books...!"

"Sweeeeet," Haruhi grinned excitedly. "A real sentient digital being! So who programmed you?"

"Er..." Ciel sweat-dropped. "I was not programmed... I was born from an egg like any other Digimon..."

"She comes from an alternate world that has a digital root origin, not organic," Noire explained. "She's a Champion-level Digimon, which is the fourth tier..." The two then explained about how Digimon evolution worked.

"And that Demon Lord was a Mega-level?" John Smith sweat-dropped. "That's not good... let's hope there aren't any more of them out there..."

"I hope not either," Noire agreed. "But right now, that Digimon's power is restrained to Ciel's level, likely because whoever's leading Ho-Hum wants to keep her under their heel... Argh!" she grunted as an idea occurred to her, "I should've asked MAGES. whether she could track that cat's collar!"

"Who's Mages?" Kyon asked.

"MAGES. the Mad Magician," Noire said. "And yes, that's how you're supposed to say it..." She then explained who she was, and what she had been doing recently...

"Wait... you mean to say, the reason both Lilithmon and her predecessor entered into this world was due to an error on this woman's part?!" Ciel gasped in disbelief.

"Yeah, she was trying to recall somebody from the netherworld that she'd sent there by accident a while ago," Noire elaborated. "Except said woman had already found her way back on her own... in her defense, MAGES. did all she could to assist Vert and the others against the first Demon Lord after she escaped her captivity in the netherworld..."

"That must have been a horrible experience for her," Sistermon Ciel bowed her head and clasped her hands in prayer. "Thank Goddess she seems to be alright..."

"Well, since the virus issue's been dealt with," Haruhi said, "maybe we can help look into that rogue soldier that attacked your sister?"

"Sure," Noire nodded. "Let's head back to the Basilicom... er, by taxi," she quickly added. "After all, I'm sure at least Kyon here would like to see the city a bit..."

"Fine by me," the NPC shrugged.

"I have no objections," Neon added.

"Taxi it is, then," Haruhi concurred. "Let's head out, then..."

But as the group exited the gaming convention center, a Jeep suddenly drove up, the driver- a black-armored man- firing his assault rifle!

_"Get down!"_ Haruhi screamed, everyone hitting the deck as Neon engaged her personal force-field to protect them!

"An ambush, huh?!" Noire growled, breaking away so she could transform to HDD! "You won't get away _this_ time!" she cried as she charged at the suit of armor, kicking him in the head-

-only for the helmet to fly off, revealing nothing inside! "Huh?!" The rest of the armor then fell apart, revealing placard reading 'APRIL FOOLS!' in big letters! "A decoy?!" Black Heart gasped, before getting surprised as she was suddenly sprayed with gray-green slime! _"EWWW! Yuck!_ This stuff smells disgusting! Ptooey! And it tastes even _worse!"_

"Look at this!" Haruhi said as she retrieved the assault rifle, pulling at it until it abruptly fell apart! "It's a toy gun! And it only fired blanks!"

"Looks like we got snookered," Kyon snarked.

"Lady Black Heart! Are you okay?!" a female NPC ran up.

"Blech... well, it doesn't seem this stuff is toxic, at least," the CPU groaned as she tried to wipe off the slime. "Since you're here, how about calling the police and telling them to impound this Jeep for evidence?"

"At once, milady!" the shadow-woman agreed.

"Here, lemme get that stuff off you so you don't have to take a reeeeeally long shower," Haruhi said as she placed her hand on Noire's back, the slime swiftly turning to light and vanishing! "There you go!"

"Ugh, thanks," Noire grunted as she reverted her transformation. "That Generic Solider #20 is becoming a real pain in the ass, though! He better hope he's got his final will and testament sorted!"

"But if he has military training, that may enable him to evade any manhunts by the local authorities," Neon pointed out. "In any case, we should remain here until the police arrive, so we can give them our statements..."

"Well, let's hope they're a little more reasonable than the common citizens around here," John Smith deadpanned, "or Haruhi might end up in the clink herself!"

"Very funny, Kyon," the Animenga goddess rolled her eyes. "No jury would convict me anyway!"

"Unfortunately, that is debatable," Neon stated.

"HEY! What's that supposed to mean?!" Haruhi yelled with a vein pulsing on her forehead. "Kyon, stop laughing, it's not funny!"

"Just be thankful it turned out to be a harmless prank," Sistermon Ciel observed.

_*In a nearby alleyway...*_

"Looks like everything went according to plan," Generic Soldier #20 spoke into his wristwatch communicator. "Lady Noire and the aliens were caught completely off-guard."

"Good work. I assume there's nothing that forensics can trace back to you?" Overlord Momus queried.

"No, sir. The armor was papier-mâché, and I handled everything with gloves and stocking feet."

"Excellent! I've just received word that our newest member assisted with disposing of the rest of BlackGatomon's viruses, so things should be back to situation normal now..."

"Keee! Did someone say Mama's name?" Soldier #20 looked up to see a purple-colored creature with green eyes, long antennae, and a large grinning mouth full of sharp teeth, tentacles making up it's body save for two long arms with large disfigured hands.

"Uh, check that, sir. There's one virus left... and I'm looking right at it."

"Keee! Keramon am I!" it spoke, waving with it's hands. "Where's Mama? Take me to Mama!"

"Um... right through here," Soldier #20 said, holding out his hand with the wristwatch. "Can you travel through there?"

"Kekeke! No problem for me!" Keramon cackled as it promptly dove into said communicator and vanished...

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"Well, I wasn't expecting this," Overlord Momus deadpanned as Keramon digitized into existence before him. "Dr. Pop, could you go and get BlackGatomon from Peashy's room?"

"At once," MAGES. obeyed, swiftly departing.

"Keee! She's gonna bring Mama to me! Hooray!" the Digimon cackled in delight. Just then, Linda walked into the room...

"Hey, boss, I'm getting antsy! You got something I can... uh..." she stopped cold at seeing Keramon.

"Kee?" Keramon tilted it's head curiously.

_"YAAAAAAHHH!"_ Linda screamed in terror.

_"KEEEEEEEEE!"_ Keramon screeched right back.

It took about a half-hour for Overlord Momus to calm everyone down...

_*To be continued...*_

I admit, I pulled that last scene from the new Sonic the Hedgehog movie... :-P As always, review!


	22. Chapter 21- Fight in the Streets

Okay, new chapter, GO!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 21- Fight in the Streets

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"So can you give me an assurance that this 'Keramon' will behave itself?" Overlord Momus inquired critically.

"I'll try to rein it in as best I can, meow," BlackGatomon sighed, sporting a few bandages from Peashy's roughhousing. "Try not to scare anybody here anymore, okay?"

"Keeee! She scared _me!"_ Keramon pointed at Linda in protest.

"You scared me first!" the punk girl shot back.

**"SILENCE!"** Momus boomed. "You were both at fault, so you _both_ need to apologize!"

"You heard the man, meow. Say you're sorry," BlackGatomon ordered.

"O-keee, I'm sorry," Keramon bowed it's head in shame.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry too," Linda grumbled.

"Good, all settled," the Ho-Hum leader nodded. "Now then... I might have an idea how to use this one," he gestured to Keramon. "Do you think you could transport him to the Lowee Basilicom?"

"Shouldn't be a problem, meow," BlackGatomon assured him. "And I think I've already got an idea what you wanna do..."

"Kekeke! This should be fun!" Keramon rubbed it's hands in glee.

_*Planeptune City suburbs*_

"Holy crap..." Dragon Ball said in disbelief as Uzume finished her tale. "Uh, just so we're clear, this 'Kurome' is never coming back, right?!"

"...She'll always be a part of me," Uzume said grimly, "but, as long as I remember that there are people who do care for me and don't hate me, Kurome will never return."

"I never hated you, Lady Uzume," the old man shook his head, "Like I said, I was just a dumb brat who didn't know any better..."

"It's not your fault," Uzume shook her head. "Like someone said awhile back, being isolated for decades would make anybody snap..."

"On the positive side, there's some people who've been making home-brewed games for Uzume's old console," Nepgear supplied. "You could almost say she was vindicated by history..."

"Hey, that's good to hear!" Dragon Ball said with a grin... but then her head jerked up, her face suddenly taking on a grim expression.

"What's up, DB?" Neptune asked. "You sense something?"

"I hear something," the alien clarified, "sounds of destruction and mayhem..."

"Well, we better go and check it out, before the mayhem comes here," Neptune declared. "Let's go, everyone! Nep to it!"

"I wish you good luck, CPUs," the old man said with a nod.

"Thanks, old man. I'll come back to visit some other time!" Uzume promised.

As the three CPUs and one alien emerged from the old man's house, a panicked male NPC ran up to them. "Miss Neptune, help! There's a grizzly bear and a Dogoo with a muscleman's body destroying everything in sight!"

"Kuma and Dogoo Man!" Nepgear realized. "It must be another attack from the House of Humiliation!"

"Given their MO, they probably got another nasty surprise waiting for us when we show up," Neptune mused.

"I could probably take care of them myself, but given what Lady Vert said on the TV broadcast..." Dragon Ball trailed off.

"Right, we have to deal with this ourselves," Nepgear affirmed.

"Wait, I got it!" Uzume snapped her fingers. "I know a way Dragsy can help us without stealing the spotlight, not to mention catch those guys off guard..."

_*Further down the street...*_

_(Music- 'I Will Win', Power Rangers Redux)_

"Grrrroooaarrr!" Kuma roared as he smashed in car windows and pulled up mailboxes before crushing them underfoot. On the other side of the street, Dogoo Man used his incredible strength to overturn parked cars, leaving them on their sides or even on their roofs!

"Hold it right there, villains!" Neptune cried as she, Nepgear, and Uzume ran onto the scene, the former two summoning their swords while the latter took her stance.

"Whoa, you're here already?!" Dogoo Man gasped as he turned to face the CPUs. "You must've already been in the area when we started smashing things!"

"Sorry if we're unfashionably early!" Uzume taunted.

"(I won't run away this time!)" Kuma growled as he joined his comrade, standing straight and taking his stance.

"Sorry, I don't speak bear," Neptune snarked.

"We won't lose to you!" Nepgear declared. "And whatever humiliating trap you have planned for us won't work this time! _Now, DB!"_ She and the others kneeled down and bowed their heads, closing their eyes tightly...

"Huh?" Dogoo Man and Kuma looked to see Dragon Ball flying above, spreading her hands over her face...

_"Taiyoken!"_ she intoned, the sunlight behind her suddenly intensifying tenfold!

_"Grrroooohhh!"_ Kuma wailed as he covered his face with his paws!

_"My eyes!_ Too bright! It hurts!" Dogoo Man copied his partner's motions.

"Yeah! It worked!" Uzume pumped a fist in triumph as she and the others stood back up.

"Alrighty! Uzume, you take care of the bear, Nep Jr. and I'll handle Dogoo Man!" Neptune ordered.

"Roger that!" the redhead nodded, running forward and hitting Kuma in the stomach with a double-footed kick!

_"Slash Wave!"_ Nepgear intoned, the grounded energy wave causing Dogoo Man to stumble and fall to a knee! Neptune then followed up with a _Cross Combination_ that sent him tumbling away!

"Ow! That hurts!" Dogoo Man cried as he stood back up with a few slash marks on his body.

"Aww, your big, strong muscles can't take it?!" Neptune taunted as she and Nepgear charged forward, easily dodging their foe's half-blinded swinging, slicing at him a few more times! Meanwhile, Kuma tried to lunge at Uzume, only for the redhead to roll aside, then strike back with an elbow to his flank, knocking him over!

"Go, girls! Go, CPUs! You can do it!" Dragon Ball cheered them, a few NPCs cheering along with her.

"Haaaa!" Neptune and Nepgear cried as they leaped into the air, their blades at the ready... but by this time Dogoo Man had recovered his eyesight, catching both blades in his hands as they swung, snapping them like twigs! "Neppit-!"

"Ha ha! Muscles are stronger than blades!" Dogoo Man laughed as he went on the attack, the duo barely dodging his attacks. "You should've bulked up your muscles too, then you wouldn't be helpless!"

"We're not helpless!" Neptune insisted as she dodged a left hook. _"32-bit Mega Blade!"_

"Uh-oh!" Dogoo Man cried as he jumped away before the Mega Blade could impale him!

"Go, Nepgeardam!" Nepgear declared, a small portal opening up and discharging a robotic Nepgear lookalike with a monitor for a head and an electric cord with a plug for a tail! "Attack!" The Nepgeardam charged forward, smashing Dogoo Man in the head with a right straight! He tried to retaliate with a right hook, but the robot dodged easily before knocking him off his feet with an uppercut! "Now, the final strike!" Nepgear cried, her robot promptly blasting Dogoo Man with it's laser-eyes, resulting in a miniature mushroom cloud!

When the smoke cleared, Dogoo Man was laid out on the street with several burns on his blue body. "My muscles... failed me..." he groaned before passing out.

"(Uh-oh, time to run,)" Kuma growled as he grappled with Uzume, knocking her away with a butt-bump and dashing to his fallen comrade! "(Tenga, help us escape!)" he roared as he laid Dogoo Man across his back.

_(Music- 'Tenga Bye Bye', Power Rangers season 3)_

"You got it, caww!" cried several Tenga as they descended on the goddesses!

"Aw, snap!" Neptune sighed as she and Nepgear were surrounded. "DB, we could use a little help with these guys!"

"Okay, here I come!" Dragon Ball assented as she joined the battle, nailing a Tenga with a flying kick!

"Neptune, let's transform!" Nepgear said as she dodged several attacks from the Tenga. "We should still have our HDD weapons!"

"Good thinking, Nep Jr.!_ Access!"_ Neptune assented, transforming to HDD, her katana appearing in her hand. "Now that's more like it!" Purple Heart smiled as assumed a ready stance. "Now, you feathered fiends, prepare to face the wrath of a goddess!"

_*Meanwhile, back at the Basilicom...*_

"Almost got it... there!" Generic Thief #11 grunted as she finished unscrewing the cover from the security keypad. "Now then... open sesame!" she said with a smirk as she twisted two wires together, the door to Nepgear's workshop promptly sliding open! "OK! Let's see what I can steal here for Overlord Momus..." She entered cautiously, knowing full well there could be other security measures beside the one she had just bypassed...

But as she rounded a corner she face-to-face to what appeared to be Nepgear herself! _"Kyaaa!_ W-what are you d-doing here?! Y-you're supposed t-to be...!" At that point, she realized that 'Nepgear' hadn't moved at all, and in fact had a quite different face than the actual CPU Candidate. "Oh, _ohhhh..._ it's j-just a d-decoy. Hahahaha..." She slid to the floor in relief, putting a hand to her chest to try and calm her heart rate... "Of course... I should've known..." After taking a minute to calm down, Thief #11 picked herself up, proceeding deeper into the workshop... (Now then... what object should I try to steal? Maybe a few of Nepgear's tools from her workbench, that would probably be a safe bet...)

"Can I help you with something?" The thief froze, slowly turning to see the same not-Nepgear from before... "It's not nice to break into someone's workshop, you know..."

_"IT'S ALIVE!"_ Thief #11 screamed as she backed up against the wall. "I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry! P-please don't k-kill meee...!"

"Fortunately for you, I am not programmed to kill anyone except monsters," 'not-Nepgear' explained. "I'm sorry if my face frightened you, but this is how Master designed me..."

"O-oh, y-you're a robot," Thief #11 realized, heaving a sigh of relief.

"That's right! I'm Nepgya, a robot designed with Nepgear's funny-face components," Nepgya introduced herself. "That being said, I am programmed to evict any unauthorized intruders..." With that, she promptly marched forward and grabbed Thief #11 by the shirt...

_*Outside the Basilicom*_

_"Ahhh!"_ Generic Thief #11 screamed as she was unceremoniously tossed out the back door, landing face down in the sod.

"Do not attempt to hotwire your way into Master's workshop again, or I will have to contact the authorities. Good day." With a bow, Nepgya promptly closed and locked the door.

"Ugh..." Thief #11 groaned as she slowly picked herself up. "Well, that could have gone better." Brushing herself off, she walked around the building to the parking lot, getting into one of the cars and starting it up...

"HEY!" She looked up to see an NPC priest. "That's my car!"

"Not anymore, it isn't!" Thief #11 grinned as she shifted into reverse, then pulled a quick 180-degree spin and peeled rubber!

_"Stop, thief!"_ the priest tried to run after her, to no avail... "I don't even have the insurance paid yet...!"

_*Later, back at Ho-Hum HQ...*_

_"OW!"_ Dogoo Man cried as Overlord Momus bopped him on the head, leaving a visible lump behind. "Come on, I'm hurting enough as it is!"

"You disappoint me, Dogoo Man! You managed to disarm Neptune and Nepgear and you _still_ lost!" Momus critiqued. "And we lost about 15 Tenga in order to cover your escape! Be thankful Kuma was nice enough to not leave you at their mercy!" Turning to the grizzly bear, he then said, "Good work, Kuma. At least this time you didn't cut and run until after your colleague lost..."

"(Thank you, sir,)" Kuma growled.

"As for you, Generic Thief #11... I sent you to infiltrate the Basilicom while the CPUs were occupied, and all you managed to steal was this lousy car?!"

"I wasn't expecting to run into a robot double in Nepgear's workshop!" Thief #11 countered. "And besides, the car _wasn't_ the only thing I stole... look in the trunk." She promptly reached through the driver's window and unlocked said trunk...

"This had better be good," Momus muttered as he walked to the back of the car and opened the trunk... but stopped upon seeing what was inside. The horned man began to chuckle sinisterly, before progressing to outright evil laughter...

_*Back at the Basilicom...*_

**"NOOOOOOO!** My secret pudding stash!" Neptune wailed. "It's gone, all gone! _Why meeeee?!"_

_*To be continued...*_

She stole the pudding stash?! Generic Thief #11, how evil of you! You better hope Neptune doesn't catch you anytime soon! Anyway, review!


	23. Chapter 22- Thief's Identity Unveiled

And now, we find out Generic Thief #11's identity!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 22- Thief's Identity Unveiled

_*Lowee Basilicom, Rom & Ram's Room*_

"I-I'm going to win this time!" Rom asserted as her go-kart pulled even with Ram's on the TV screen.

"Oh no you won't!" Ram growled as she tried to shove her sister's kart off the track... but as they struggled against each other, even literally pushing against each other in reality, they were suddenly interrupted as a purple monster with large hands, green eyes and sharp teeth suddenly flew onto the screen!

"Wh-what's that?" Rom gasped, watching as the creature cackled, before using it's large hands to knock both karts off the track in quick succession!

"HEY! You can't do that!" Ram cried in protest, as the words 'YOU LOSE' appeared on-screen.

"Is this some kind of DLC we didn't know about...?" Rom pondered.

"Kekeke! Too bad for you, your game is doomed!" Keramon taunted on-screen... before suddenly _popping out of the TV_ with hands raised! _"KEEEEEE!"_

_"Kyaaaaaaaahhh!"_ Both twins screamed as they clung to each other! Not a minute later, the door was smashed down by Blanc's hammer!

_"Rom! Ram!_ Are you okay?" Blanc gasped, short of breath from running there. "What happened...?"

Rom was too terrified to speak, but Ram cried, "Th-there was some purple ghost thingy that screwed up our race! And it then it, like, c-came out of the screen!"

"I-it had b-big hands a-and really sharp t-teeth!" Rom finally managed to get out.

"Out of the TV...?" Blanc raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Okay, let me take a look at the game..." Ram promptly handed over her controller, her sister sitting down as she looked up at the screen, the game having apparently closed due to an error. She tried to restart the racing game, only to get a prompt saying, _'Unable to start game- the data has been corrupted.'_ "The hell...? The game's been completely bricked!" Just to be sure, she selected 'The Plumber's Odyssey' and was able to load it without issue. "Okay, so it's just that one game... looks like you two got hacked somehow."

"B-but it really did c-come out of the TV...!" Rom insisted.

"I'm not saying it didn't," Blanc shook her head, "but for now, we need to try and find out how your racing game got bricked... So, why don't you two go outside and make a snowman or something, while I get a hold of Cybercrime?"

"Okay," the twins assented...

_*Planeptune Basilicom*_

"Come on! Is this really nepping necessary?!" Neptune protested, having been tied tightly to a sturdy chair with duct tape.

"Sorry, but after what happened last time, I didn't want to take any chances," Nepgear said. "Thanks for restraining her until I got her tied up, DB..."

"No problem. But was last time really that bad?" Dragon Ball wondered.

"W-well, the last time someone stole Neptune's pudding, she went on the rampage!" Nepgear extrapolated. "By the time she calmed down, the culprit had several broken bones and severe PTSD afterward...!"

"Okay, so I flew off the handle a bit!" Neptune conceded. "But come on, this is _pudding_ we're talking about! And it was my secret emergency stash, to boot! I think I've got a nepping right to be upset!"

"Well, I gotta admit, I wouldn't have expected to look _there_ for your pudding, Nepsy," Uzume commented.

"Even I didn't know where it was!" Nepgear admitted. "And that was the last place I would have looked! N-not that I ever wanted to steal Neptune's pudding, of course, but..."

"Which begs the question, how did that thief know where to look?" Histoire pondered. "Even I was unaware of the exact location of Neptune's pudding..."

At this, Neptune's face went blank for a brief moment, her struggles ceasing. "...okay, you can cut me loose now. I promise not to go on a rampage or anything, alrighty?"

"Well... okay. But I'm holding you to that!" Nepgear said as she used her laser blade to cut the duct tape apart.

"Excuse me..." the group turned to see Nepgya standing there. "Even though the thief was veiled in shadow, I believe I can reconstruct a facial profile that we can run through the criminal database..."

"Really?! Well, why didn't you say so sooner? I'll get a hold of Iffy!" Neptune exclaimed, grabbing her mobile device...

_*Soon, at Planeptune's Guild HQ...*_

"Okay, so... where do I plug in at?" IF pondered, holding a jack in one hand.

"My belly-button functions as a jack-in port," Nepgya said as she undid one button on her sailor uniform, revealing said port.

"Okay," IF nodded, plugging in and then turning to the screen typing away at the keyboard. "Uh... where's the facial recognition software?"

"Don't you use this computer all the time, Iffy?" Neptune queried.

"Th-the OS got updated recently! It completely changed the interface!" IF stammered. "Oh, here it is. OK, Nepgya, upload when you're ready."

"Acknowledged. Uploading facial data." A shadowed head appeared on the screen, but then details appeared, showing the shape of the eyes, nose, and mouth.

"Alright, let's get some color on this face," IF muttered as she typed away, the face abruptly taking on a fair skin tone, the black eye-shapes then being filled in with white. "What color should we use for the eyes?"

"Let's just use blue for now," Nepgear suggested.

"Okay..." Blue irises and black pupils were added to the eyes. "How about hair color?"

"Let's try brown," Neptune spoke up, IF promptly changing the hair color. "OK, Iffy, let 'er rip!"

"Roger that, Nep!" Iffy initiated the face search. "This might take a while, so..." She was cut off as 'MATCH FOUND' suddenly popped up on the screen. "Wh- already?!" Looking at the match, her jaw dropped in shock. "N...no way..."

"Nepu?!" Neptune's eye shrunk to circles.

"But... that's impossible!" Nepgear gasped at the image shown on the screen:

_87% MATCH: REI RYGHTS_

_FORMER FINAL BOSS_

_THREAT LEVEL: EXTREME_

_CRIMES: conspiracy to overthrow government, massive property damage, attempted genocide, attempted murder of White Heart, Black Heart and Green Heart, apologizing too much_

_(NOTE: found Not Guilty by reason of insanity, exiled to Lowee City)_

"Wait, I thought Rei Ryghts turned over a new leaf!" IF said once she got over her shock.

"She did! She's an Ace Attorney now! She even saved Nep Jr. from terrorism charges! But, you knew that already, right, Iffy?!" Neptune babbled.

"If I may..." Nepgya spoke up. "Maybe the thief used a latex mask of Rei Ryghts in case she was caught on-camera, to deceive us."

"Y...yeah! That's gotta be it!" Neptune nodded vigorously.

"But even so, we need to let Rei know about this!" Nepgear insisted. "IF, do you have her number?"

"I should..." IF replied, beginning to pat herself down. "Now, which mobile device did I leave it on...?"

"Oh, for...!" Neptune sweat-dropped. "Never mind, Iffy, I'll just call Blanc and have her tell us!" Pulling out her phone, she quickly dialed Blanc's number... "Hello, Blanc?"

"Neptune, this better be important, some prankster hacker just scared the daylights out of Rom and Ram and I'm trying to find the bastard responsible!"

"That's not good," Neptune sweat-dropped. "Betcha it was those Ho-Hum guys again... look, all I need is Rei Ryghts' number and I'll leave ya alone, OK?"

"Rei's number? Don't you have... oh wait, I forgot who I was talking to. Alright, just a sec..." Blanc then gave her Rei's number.

"Thanks, Blanc! Good luck finding that hacker with crackers!" Neptune said before hanging up.

_*Samson & Co. Law Offices*_

The desk phone rang, Rei Ryghts quickly picking up. "Samson Law Offices, Rei speaking."

"Heya Rei, it's Neptune! How ya doin'?"

"Neptune?" Rei gasped in surprise. "W-what's g-going on? I-is Nepgear in legal t-trouble again...?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Neptune assured her. "You see, my pudding stash got stolen, and blah blah blah blah..."

"W-what?! The thief had MY face?!" Realization suddenly dawned on Rei. **"TENTEEEEEEENNNN!"**

Her scream echoed throughout the whole of Lowee City, making Bartholomew wishing he'd invested in earplugs...

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"W-w-why d-did I j-just g-get this feeling of foreboding d-doom...?" Generic Thief #11 shuddered, now revealed to be Tenten Ryghts from 'Law & Order: Leanbox- The Lynx'.

"Well, you did steal Neptune's pudding stash, meow," BlackGatomon pointed out. "Probably should stay outta Planeptune for a while..."

"I'm back, Mama!" Keramon floated into the room. "Rom and Ram screamed real good, kekeke!"

"Did you make sure they couldn't trace you back here?" BlackGatomon pressed.

"Of course, Mama! They'll never find me!" Keramon nodded.

"Good Keramon! Here's some pudding for a job well done, meow!" She handed a plate of pudding to Keramon, who simply tossed the whole thing sans plate into his large mouth...

"Excellent work," Overlord Momus nodded. "Now then, Dr. Pop, are you ready to proceed with your evil plot?"

"I am indeed!" MAGES. proclaimed. "I will require Underling's assistance in order to deflect suspicion away from myself..."

"No problem! About damn time I got another crack at those CPUs!" Linda concurred.

"I'm coming too, chu!" Warechu insisted.

"That's fine," MAGES. nodded. "My plan is foolproof! Even a useless rat like you cannot inadvertently foil it! Fuahahaha!"

"You better be right about that," Underling muttered under her breath.

"HEY! I heard that-chu!"

_*To be continued...*_

I wonder what MAGES. has in mind for our heroes? And I also wonder what punishment Rei has in mind for her clone/sister? Stay tuned! ;)


	24. Chapter 23- Dr Pop Fizzles

Next chapter is ready to roll!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 23- Dr. Pop Fizzles

_*Lowee Basilicom*_

"I'm sorry, Lady Blanc, but we can't trace exactly where the hacker came from," the Cybercrime technician apologized. "I can only confirm that the virus originated from outside the nation..."

"So this was a professional, then," Blanc mused. "I wonder if I should get ahold of Vert and have her contact the creator of 4GO... she seemed to be a pretty damn competent cracker..."

"I did manage to get a visual image of the virus," the technician said, typing at the keyboard and pulling up a slightly pixelated image of Keramon.

"That's it!" Ram pointed. "That's the monster that scared me and Rom!"

"Doesn't look like any monster I've ever seen," Blanc muttered. "Even on 4GO or anywhere else..." Mind made up, she pulled out her phone and dialed. "Hello, Vert...?"

_*A short while later...*_

"No, I've never seen a virus like this, either," the main GM of _4 Goddesses Online_ muttered as she observed the image of Keramon on-screen.

"It looks like it might be related to the virus that infected LASA Headquarters," Vert mused. "But Haruhi completely destroyed those, so we can't trace any correlation..."

"Maybe it's a more evolved form of the first virus?" Blanc theorized. "But if that's the case..."

"That's weird, though," the GM said, "computer viruses don't mutate like biological viruses... Unless whoever created this one is constantly upgrading it's source code... Do you know if this virus was released anywhere else?"

"Nowhere else in Leanbox," Vert said. "Only LASA was targeted."

"Cybercrime said they had never seen this virus, so it seems only Rom and Ram's system was hacked," Blanc added. "Maybe we should contact Neptune and Noire... actually, let's get a hold of Noire first, she'd be more on top of something like this."

"Big Sis! Big Sis!" Ram cried as she ran into the room, Rom on her heels.

"What is it, Ram? I'm kinda busy here trying to find your hacker..."

"It's Underling!" Ram said, waving her arms. "She's gone and stolen Turtlezilla from Super Nintend Land!"

"She WHAT?!" Blanc gasped. _"Dammit!_ Sorry, Vert, I gotta go, this is an emergency..."

"No, I quite understand," Vert said. "I'll contact Noire in your stead, hurry and stop Underling!"

"Thanks. Alright, let's go!" Blanc said to her sisters.

"Right!" "OK!" And so the three went off together...

_*On the streets of Lowee City...*_

_(Music- 'Ruby Delusions', Sonic Mania)_

_"Grrroooaar!"_ Turtlezilla roared as it set a car aflame with its fire breath, Underling riding on its shoulder while Warechu sat atop its bright red mane.

"HAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Underling laughed as bullets from the policemen's guns easily bounced off its hard shell. "You'll have to do better than that to slay this robo-dragon!"

"Fall back! Fall back!" the police chief cried as Turtlezilla began overturning the police cars! Just then, a large ice crystal smashed the robot in the snout, forcing it back a step!

"The Lowee sisters have arrived!" White Sister Pink declared as she and Blue arrived on the scene, White Heart not far behind.

"Get your sorry asses outta here!" Blanc ordered the police. "This shit is way above your pay grade! We'll handle this overgrown turtle!"

"Thank you, Lady Blanc!" the chief acknowledged as he and the others beat a hasty retreat.

"You losers don't think you can topple this turtle, chu!" Warechu taunted.

"Not the first giant monster we've dealt with!" White Sister Blue asserted.

"First things first, eject the pilots!" White Sister Pink exclaimed, dodging Turtlezilla's fire breath and kicking Warechu off it's head! Blue then followed up with another ice crystal aimed at Underling, forcing the punk girl to jump off, rolling as she hit the ground!

"You think it'll be that easy?!" Linda growled as she rose to a kneeling position. Whistling sharply, she yelled, "Tenga! Get your sorry beaks down here!"

"We're coming!" Several Tenga abruptly flew down, surrounding the goddesses!

"Not these birdbrains again!" White Sister Pink growled as she fried one with a fireball from her wand! "Didn't you idiots learn your lesson last time?!"

"I guess not!" White Sister Blue mused as she froze a few Tenga solid.

"Guess I'll have to handle Turtlezilla myself, then!" White Heart asserted, staring down the robotic kaiju. A few Tenga tried to block her path but she easily downed them with _Gefahrlichtern_ projectiles! "And now... _Getter Ravine!"_ Her right eye glowed red as she charged at Turtlezilla, easily dodging its flame breath by leaping into the air, then swinging her axe down with all of her might, smashing the robot's head to scrap! As a result, the flamethrower mechanism backfired, causing the body to catch fire and explode, collapsing in a heap of burning metal.

"Well, that failed spectacularly, chu," Warechu deadpanned.

"Nice try, Underling, but you're gonna have to do a _lot_ damn better than that to beat me!" White Heart taunted with a grin, hoisting her axe over her shoulder.

"I'm gonna have a word with that Dr. Pop," Linda growled under her breath. "Warechu, Tenga, let's get outta here!" The group of them promptly fled down the street...

"Alright, cops, your turn! Get after those bitches!" White Heart ordered, several police cruisers promptly getting into gear and chasing after the Ho-Hum operatives!

"That'll teach you to ruin one of Super Nintend Land's best attractions!" White Sister Pink called after them.

"But how did she get Turtlezilla to go berserk, anyway?" White Sister Blue pondered. "Any cheating devices she might have had would have become useless after we beat the Deity of Sin for good..."

"I just heard her say something about a 'Dr. Pop'," White Heart said as she flew up to them. "Whoever he or she is, must have hacked into Turtlezilla's mainframe and taken control remotely!"

"What if Dr. Pop's the one who scared us with that virus?!" White Sister Blue realized.

"Yeah! It had to have been!" White Sister Pink agreed.

"We don't have any proof, though," White Heart pointed out. "Let's get back to the Basilicom and hope Vert and Noire found something..."

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"Apologies, Overlord Momus," MAGES. lamented on bended knee. "I have failed you..."

"You certainly have, Dr. Pop," Momus agreed, doffing MAGES.' hat and pounding her on the head, leaving a sizable lump! "Next time, hijack a robot that can actually take a hit from a CPU's weapon!"

"Ouch... Understood," the Mad Magician concurred, putting her hat back on, wincing as she adjusted it to not rub against the bump on her head. "Fortunately, I do not make the same mistake twice..."

"See that you don't." Momus then turned to the communications console, hailing Generic Ninja #25. "Have you made your way to Lastation?"

"Yessir," Ninja #25 nodded. "Actually, sir, there's something you need to know..."

_*To be continued...*_

Hmm, I wonder what Ninja #25 found out? You'll have to wait until next chapter to find out yourself! ;)


	25. Chapter 24- Early Arrivals!

Man, I'm on a roll with these lately...

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 24- Early Arrivals!

_*Planeptune Guild HQ, IF's Office*_

"So... Tenten Ryghts," IF began, "a clone of Rei that was created in an illegal laboratory in Leanbox. According to the file you just sent me, she was rejected for not performing to their expectations, and was forced into stealing to survive..."

"That's right," Rei nodded, the communication having been transferred to her boss's holo-screen, she and Bartholomew standing side-by-side. "But after being sentenced to prison, she promised she would try to turn over a new leaf... Argh, it makes me so mad that maggot went back on her word!"

"Calm yourself, Rei," Bartholomew rested a hand on her shoulder. "We still don't know the exact circumstances here..."

"She seemed quite on-edge when I confronted her," Nepgya spoke up. "Of course, part of that was most likely being frightened by my face..."

"...I still can't believe you're that same robot that messed with me and Peach so far back," Rei muttered.

"I don't remember anything from before, but I'm sorry if I caused you trouble," Nepgya bowed in remorse. "But getting back on-topic, the possibility exists that she was not recruited into Ho-Hum of her own will..."

"Perhaps whoever recruited her made an offer she couldn't refuse," Bartholomew mused.

"Well then... perhaps I should remind the Lynx just who her sister is," Rei gave an evil smirk. "Sometimes the best deterrent is a good, old fashioned spanking! _Haaa-hahahahaha!"_

"Rei, please," Bartholomew sighed, "there must be some way to vent your frustrations without reverting to final boss mode..."

"W-well, if we hear anything about Tenten stealing again, we'll let you know right away," Nepgear promised.

"Yeah, just, don't reduce her to a bloody smear on the pavement, 'kay?" Neptune snarked.

"I-I wouldn't d-do th-that!" Rei gasped, "sh-she's th-the c-closest thing I have t-to family!"

"Well, for now, how about you go and take a walk outside," Bartholomew suggested. "Maybe throw some snowballs at the wall, if you have to... But anyway, yes, Lady Neptune, please let us know if you hear anything."

"Don't worry, we will!" Uzume nodded. "Bye for now!"

_*Lastation Basilicom, Noire's Office*_

"Well, it's official. We've hit a dead end," Noire lamented to her colleagues. "No fingerprints, the Jeep was bought from a used car lot, and the buyer's ID card was forged. As much as I hate to say it, Game Over."

"I apologize for not being much help," Neon said with her head bowed.

"We did what we could," Haruhi shrugged. "We'll just have to wait for that 'Generic Soldier' to make his next move..." Just then, the phone rang.

"Hello?" Noire picked up. "Oh, hey, Vert, what's up?" Her eyes went wide at what her fellow CPU told her... "Someone scared Rom and Ram with a virus?! And you think it might be related to ours?!" Sistermon Ciel's head jerked up at hearing this. "OK, hold on, let me transfer your call..." A little fiddling later, and Vert and the 4GO GM appeared on a split holo-screen.

"Who's this lady?" Haruhi queried.

Vert replied, "Oh, yes, this is the Game Manager of my favorite MMORPG, _4 Goddesses Online._ She's quite the competent hacker..."

_"Cracker,_ not hacker," the GM insisted. "We've been over this before, Lady Vert..."

"R-right," Vert sweat-dropped. "Sorry... anyway, could you pull up the image of the virus that frightened Blanc's sisters?"

"Sure thing," the GM nodded, bringing up the image of the monster.

_"Keramon!"_ Ciel gasped. "Ohh, I must have missed one after all...!"

"Missed one? What do you mean?" the GM grunted in mild confusion.

"Sister Ciel is a digital being," Noire explained, "who can enter cyberspace without any further ado. It was she who deleted most of the viruses that infected the Basilicom's servers, but a few got away..."

"I thought MAGES. helped her take care of the rest, though," John Smith said.

"A d-digital being that can materialize in reality?!" the GM gasped in disbelief. "You're kidding me!"

"No joke, I actually saw her dive into the computer myself," Noire stated.

"And we all saw her come out," Haruhi added, the others speaking similarly.

"Getting back to Keramon," Ciel cut in, "this particular virus grows by devouring data. And Keramon can eat data at a very rapid rate. And I shudder to think of what might happen if it evolves any further..."

"Not good," the 4GO GM grimaced. "I'll see if can code a filter to at least alert us if this 'Keramon' turns up in any of the 4GO servers... I refuse to let this thing devour my _magnum opus!"_

"I'll be sure to alert my guild as well, just in case," Vert concurred. "Hopefully this thing won't be as tough to deal with as Cheetah was..." Just then, she received an alert on her myPhone. "What's this...? LASA's calling?! Oh dear, I hope Keramon didn't decide to return there! Just a moment..." She answered her mobile device. "This is Vert, is something the matter? ...What?! A-are you certain?!" Facing the screen again, she said, "LASA says there's a massive spaceship in orbit above Gamindustri!"

"Say what?!" Noire, Haruhi, and John Smith gasped. Haruhi then materialized a holo-screen of her own, showing a massive battleship that seemed armed to the teeth!

"I know that ship!" Neon gasped, "It's a Vers Empire battlecruiser! But how did it get here?! It shouldn't have been able to make the trip on it's own!"

"Can you hail them?" Noire asked.

"I should be able to!" Haruhi nodded, her holoscreen showing static for a few moments, then clearing, showing the face of an officer, his hat pulled low to hide his eyes. "Alright, battleship, this is Ma'nabatea speaking, so identify yourself!"

"This the battle cruiser _Deucalion_ of the glorious Vers Empire!" the pilot answered. "We have come to-"

"Wait!" a young, refined female voice called out. "I'll talk to her. On-screen." The image immediately blipped to the visage of a young blonde with green eyes, wearing a modest white dress with a tall neck frill, her hair styled into a circular braid with one lock draping down the right side of her face. "Greetings, Ma'nabatea, Oracle Evangelion, and denizens of the planet Gamindustri."

"Princess Asseylum!" Neon recognized the woman. "What a relief... if she is in charge, then they must come in peace."

"Wait, so is this the diplomatic mission you guys were hinting at during the TV broadcast?!" the GM realized.

"I can't see who's speaking, but yes, that is correct," Princess Asseylum replied. "I'm guessing the regally-dressed one with black hair is the ruler of Gamindustri?"

"N-not exactly, I rule the nation of Lastation, one of four nations that comprise Gamindustri," Noire corrected. "My name is Noire, AKA Goddess Black Heart."

"Ah, so you are a goddess as well? It's very nice to meet you then, Lady Noire," Asseylum bowed respectfully.

"Okay, two things," Haruhi interjected. "One, what you guys doing here already, and two, how did you make the trip without my help?!"

"You said we needed to wait at least a week," Asseylum said in response. "But you didn't contact us, and well... some of the soldiers got a bit restless, so I decided to go ahead with the expedition regardless..."

"It's been a week already?!" Haruhi materialized something that resembled a calendar in alien language... "Shit! It has been! I completely lost track of time!"

"I was going to remind milady when we arrived here, in Lastation," Neon said, "but events kept happening at a rapid pace, and I also forgot... However, that does not answer how you were able to make the trip here, especially in such short time..."

"Oh, I can explain that," Asseylum nodded. "You see, a few months ago, a witch arrived in our empire by some sort of transporter accident. She was apparently studying methods to travel between dimensions, and though she didn't seem entirely sane, her knowledge was beyond anything we'd heard of. Eventually she managed to send herself back home, but she left some of her technology behind as a thank-you. Long story short, our technicians managed to reverse-engineer the witch's technology to enable us to create small wormholes for our ships to travel through, greatly cutting down on travel time between planets."

"Um... would this witch happen to have blue hair, a mole under her right eye, and constantly talk about some organization that thwarts her attempts to obtain Duck P?" Noire queried.

"That's her! H-how did you... is she one of yours?!" Asseylum gasped in comprehension.

"She is!" Vert affirmed. "I can't believe it... this means MAGES. inadvertently made contact with the Animenga cluster even before our satellite arrived there!"

"Damn, talk about achievements in ignorance," John Smith snarked.

"No kidding...!" Haruhi concurred. "Talk about contrived coincidences!"

"Anyway, do you have a suitable spaceport for us to land?" Asseylum requested.

"Uh..." Noire's eyes shrunk to white circles. "Um, let me get with my fellow goddesses, and we'll figure out a place for you guys to set down. Just... stay in orbit for now. And make sure you've got the safeties engaged on all your weaponry!"

"Don't worry about that," Asseylum smiled. "No one on board will fire without my order... But please do get back to us when you've found a landing site for us. Farewell for now." The screen then cut to static.

"Well, that was awkward," the 4GO GM muttered. "Well, I need to get back to _4 Goddesses Online_ for now, but if that Keramon shows up, let me know and I'll do what I can to help."

"That's very appreciated," Vert nodded. "Good-bye for now."

"Okay, I guess the next thing to do is get all the CPUs on conference call again," Haruhi suggested. "And after that, we should probably try and get in contact with that MAGES. girl..."

"Well, this really has nothing to do with me, so I shall return to my normal duties for the time being," Sistermon Ciel stated. "By your leave, Lady Noire." The tsundere CPU nodded and dismissed her with a wave.

"Let's just hope those Ho-Hum guys don't find out about this," John said...

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"You're saying the diplomatic mission from Animenga has arrived already?!" Overlord Momus gasped incredulously.

"That's right. Even Goddess Haruhi herself was caught off-guard," Generic Ninja #25 reported. "It seems they used wormhole technology reverse-engineered from a certain Mad Magician..."

"You mean... the Vers Empire?!" MAGES. gasped. "I... I believed that place to be in another dimension entirely! It never even occurred to me that I had transported myself to a distant galaxy far, far away!"

"Geez, you must have the devil's luck that you didn't end up in empty space or an inhospitable planet!" Linda commented.

"I agree, meow!" BlackGatomon concurred.

"But wait, could we not use this to our advantage?" Ninja #25 suggested. "After all, if Dr. Pop has had prior contact with these aliens, that means she possesses knowledge that not even the CPUs have!"

"...Yes, you make a good point!" Momus smiled beneath his one-eyed mask. "With Dr. Pop's knowledge, we can effectively neuter any advantage this Vers Empire would have over us!"

"Hmhmhm... how fortuitous, indeed!" MAGES. chuckled. "I did indeed closely study their own technology while I was stuck there... if they think they can neutralize our evil plots so easily, they shall be quite surprised! _Fuahahahahaha!"_

Overlord Momus briefly laughed along with her before regaining his composure. "(Ahem) Now then, Generic Ninja #25, collect Generic Soldier #20 and return to base ASAP. We must recalibrate our plans to deal with this new contingency!"

"As you will, Overlord Momus," Ninja #25 bowed, before cutting the connection.

_*To be continued...*_

Well, that was unexpected, in more ways than one! What sinister plans will Overlord Momus and MAGES. concoct for the Vers Empire delegation? And does said empire truly have benevolent intentions? Find out next time!


	26. Chapter 25- Battle at the Airport

This chapter was initially planned to be twice as large, but I decided to split it up so I could post this today...

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 25- Battle at the Airport

"...and that's the situation," Noire finished explaining to Neptune, Nepgear and Blanc over the conference call between the 4 CPUs. "So, we need to figure out someplace where that battlecruiser can land safely... And I don't think here in Lastation's a good idea, due to some of the citizens acting unreasonably xenophobic..."

"Tell me about it," Haruhi spoke up beside Noire. "Hell, Kyon had to sock me in the face to prove that I didn't brainwash him or something! That kinda hurt!"

"I don't think setting down in Lowee's such a good idea, either," Blanc stated. "It's been really cold the past few days, and the forecast says it's not gonna let up anytime soon..."

"I'm not sure LASA is capable of receiving a spaceship of that size," Vert lamented. "Of course, they weren't expecting any aliens to actually answer their greeting from the satellite they launched..."

"What about Planeptune International Airport?" Nepgear suggested. "I know they cleared out a wide area for a planned expansion that never happened, due to budget cuts... The _Deucalion_ should be able to land there."

"Hm-hmm, and once again, protagonist privileges win the day!" Neptune said smugly.

"Oh, does that mean you're surrendering your main character status to little Nepgear?" Vert teased. "Excellent! Once I make her my sister, that should make me a main protagonist as well!"

"S-say what?!" Nepgear made a Nepgya-face.

"Hey! Th-that's not what I meant at all! Quit twisting my words, Vert!" Neptune protested. "And Nep Jr. is MY sister until the end of time, got it?!"

"Sorry, I couldn't help but mess with you a little bit," Vert chuckled. "Seriously, though, Planeptune International sounds like our best bet. Any objections?"

"No," Noire and Blanc said in stereo.

"I suppose it's settled then," Histoire commented. "I'll contact the airport right away..."

"Right, so if someone can show me where Planeptune International Airport is on the map, I'll send it up to the _Deucalion_ so they can start re-entry and landing procedures," Haruhi said. "And once that's done, I'll gather up the main CPUs so you guys can all meet Princess Asseylum when she disembarks..."

"Just make sure we have a little time to get ready," Vert requested.

"No problem."

"Just send me right to Planeptune, please," John Smith spoke up. "I don't feel like rapidly warping here, there, and everywhere..."

"I was gonna do that for you and Neon anyway, Kyon..." Haruhi sighed.

_*Soon, at Planeptune International Airport...*_

"Wow, that is a wide-open space," John observed the open field to the west of the airport proper.

"More than enough space for the ship to land," Neon nodded. They had been deposited at the airport first while Haruhi retrieved the other goddesses (Neptune and Nepgear were flying to the rendezvous in HDD, while Uzume stayed behind to hold down the fort).

"Let's just hope the other NPCs don't freak out when they see it come down," John muttered.

"Histoire was going to alert the air-traffic controllers," Neon reminded him. "Airport security should keep the populace from panicking..." She glanced up into the air, seeing several crows in the sky... "Wait a minute..." Opening her two extra pairs of eyes briefly to get a better look, she gasped in shock. "It's... those Tenga that work for the House of Humiliation! But why are they here?!"

At that moment, Haruhi appeared with Vert, Noire, and Blanc in tow. "We're here! ...What's wrong, Neon?"

"Milady, it's an ambush!" Neon pointed to the sky, the Tenga now becoming easily visible as they descended.

"Why are the Tenga here?!" Vert gasped.

_"Shit!_ Those Ho-Hum bastards must've jacked into our conference call!" Blanc realized.

"Only one thing to do, then," Noire stated. _"Access!"_ She transformed to HDD, the other two CPUs swiftly following her lead!

_(Music- 'Tenga Bye Bye', Power Rangers season 3)_

"I'll get Kyon somewhere safe!" Haruhi said. "Neon, assist security on the ground! No transforming unless you have to!"

"Understood, milady!" Neon obeyed, running towards the airport.

_"Inbetween Spear!"_ Green Heart intoned, her energy projectiles shooting several Tenga out of the sky!

"Caww! Evasive maneuvers!" the Tenga cried as they scattered.

"Damned annoying ravens! _Gefahrlichtern!"_ White Heart growled as she shot down a few more with her icy projectiles!

(DB, get Uzume and Instant Transmission your butt over here!) Haruhi called telepathically. (We got a big flock of bird-men incoming!) A few minutes later, Dragon Ball and Uzume materialized nearby. "You two help Neon on the ground! The CPUs got the air covered!"

"Yeah! I've been waiting for another chance to cut loose!" DB cracked her knuckles.

"Me too!" Uzume grinned. "Let's go, Dragsy!" The duo promptly went to join the fray...

_*Not far away...*_

"Goodness, what going on?!" Purple Sister gasped as she and Purple Heart flew toward the airport.

"It's the Tenga!" Purple Heart realized. "And it seems we're late to the party!" She promptly transformed into fighter-jet mode, zooming towards the fight!

"W-wait for me!" Nepgear cried as she tried to fly after her sister.

"Take this!" Black Heart cried as she sliced a Tenga in half! Flying towards another one, she was surprised as a black missile with purple tron-lines blasted it into oblivion! Turning, Noire saw more missiles lock-on and destroy several more Tenga! "Purple Heart, you are such a show-off!"

"Leave it to Neptune to make a dramatic entrance!" White Heart grumbled as she chopped a Tenga down with her axe.

"I'm here too!" Purple Sister cried as she fired on the ravens with her arm cannon!

"We're sitting ducks up here, caww! Get to the ground!" one Tenga cried as he promptly nose-dived, the rest following after him!

"Surprise!" Dragon Ball yelled as she gave one Tenga a high kick!

"Oraoraora!" Uzume cried as she pummeled a Tenga with rapid punches, finishing with a right straight that knocked him into one of his comrades! Meanwhile, Neon utilized submission holds and pressure-point strikes to KO one Tenga after another!

"Help me!" cried a female NPC as a Tenga grabbed her around the neck!

"Back off or she gets hurt, caww!" the raven threatened as Dragon Ball approached. DB frowned, putting two fingers to her forehead, abruptly vanishing and reappearing _behind_ the Tenga, wrestling him off the NPC and tossing him to the ground!

"Th-thank you!" the NPC called to Dragon Ball before rushing to safety.

"This is no good, we gotta flee!" The remaining Tenga promptly took wing to flee into the sky, only for a *ratatatata* sound to ring out, several of the bird-men being dropped by machine-gun rounds!

"What the hell?!" White Heart cried as something flew down from the sky, soon revealed to be a large humanoid mecha, painted white with blue highlights, wielding a large machine gun in one hand which blew the remaining Tenga out of the sky with uncanny precision!

"Oh wow...!" Purple Sister cried in awe, her eyes sparkling. "It's... it's a giant robot! An honest to goodness flying giant robot! I want it!"

"And you call ME a show-off," Purple Heart muttered as her fighter-jet form reverted to her normal HDD.

"That thing's on our side, right?" Kyon turned to Haruhi as they hid among the cars in the airport's parking lot.

"Yeah, I recognize that one. Pilot's a professional soldier to the core. Asseylum probably sent him down to assist," Haruhi mused, before looking up... "Speaking of which... here she comes." Kyon also looked upward, to see a dark shape in the sky resolve into the shape of the _Deucalion_ as it descended...

"Oh wow... it's a lot bigger than I thought!" Purple Sister gasped in awe.

"No shit," White Heart grumbled as she and the other CPUs regrouped. "Good thing they come in peace!"

"Speaking of which, we should get down to the ground and make certain the people understand that," Purple Heart stated. Indeed, the NPC civilians seemed awed or intimidated by the sight, several of them pointing at the battlecruiser.

"Right," Black Heart nodded. "We should probably meet the princess in our HDD forms, just in case any other surprises happen..."

"That's fine, but we should put our weapons away for now," Green Heart suggested as her spear dematerialized, the other goddesses doing the same before flying down...

"Nepgear, stay with us," Purple Heart gently admonished. "We don't need you ogling the giant robot's pilot, now... we want to make a good first impression."

"R-right, sorry," Purple Sister nodded as she rejoined her sister...

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"Seems all the Tenga got slaughtered, meow," BlackGatomon observed on her laptop, munching on some popcorn. "Gonna be a while before I have the energy to replace them..."

"That's fine," Overlord Momus shook his head, "this was just a distraction, anyway. Hopefully this will keep the CPUs focused on protecting the delegation, while our operatives carry out their objectives. After all, when the cat's away..."

"...the mice will play," BlackGatomon finished with a sinister grin.

_*To be continued...*_

Uh-oh, what does Ho-Hum have planned while the CPUs are busy?! You'll have to wait until next chapter to find out! ;)


	27. Chapter 26- Deucalion Has Landed

Houston, Tranquility Base here...

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 26- The _Deucalion_ Has Landed!

_*Planeptune International Airport*_

As the massive battlecruiser _Deucalion_ touched down, several rods extended from its underside, embedding in the ground in order to stabilize its position. The four main CPUs (and Nepgear), still in HDD, flew in front of the ship, then slightly underneath it where they could see what appeared to be a large bay door. As they waited for said door to open, they were joined by Haruhi and John Smith, while Neon, Dragon Ball and Uzume remained behind to help keep the civilians calm. The giant robot from earlier set down next to the ship, going into a kneeling position and seemingly shutting down.

After a few minutes, the bay door began to open, slowly lowering down and becoming a ramp that led into the interior of the ship... "White Heart, you seem awfully fidgety," Green Heart noted.

"Sorry, it's just... there's something nagging at me, but I can't put my finger on it," White Heart grunted.

"Well, try to put it to one side for now," Black Heart advised. "We have to make sure we make the right impression for these aliens..."

"Here they come," Purple Heart stated, the group fixing their gaze on two sets of boots that were visible, soon revealed to be foot soldiers armed with futuristic laser rifles. Behind them was a group of three women... the one on the left appeared to be an older woman with graying green hair and what appeared to be two tiny horns protruding from said hair, dressed in a light blue kimono with a tiger-striped obi. The one on the right seemed around high-school age, with long auburn hair and brown eyes set into a very cute face, with a bust that almost rivaled Vert's chest, though she was dressed in a modest white blouse and light blue skirt.

The one in the center, of course, was Princess Asseylum herself, a small smile on her face as she slowly walked down the ramp... only to suddenly trip and fall to her knees, sliding down to the ground, the two guards quickly coming to her aid and helping her up. "Th-thank you," she nodded to them, before breathing to regain her composure. "Sorry you had to see that, but I am used to moving in a zero-G environment... I tend to have trouble with a planet's gravity sometimes."

"Used to have that problem myself," the older woman on her left commented. "Ah, hello, Ma'nabatea..."

"Hey there, Mrs. Yatsura," Haruhi waved back. "And hello to you too, Mikuru," she said to the younger auburn-haired girl.

"Ah! You're here?!" Mikuru squeaked in panic, quickly hiding herself behind Asseylum! "D-don't let her g-get me...!"

"Oh, come on!" Haruhi sighed in exasperation. "I use you as a dress-up doll ONE time, and you're quaking in fear of me?! I said I was sorry...!"

"Th-that's not the only thing you did!" Mikuru protested from behind her princess. "You f-fondled my chest, too!"

_"What."_ John Smith's voice took on an angry tone as he turned to face Haruhi. "Is this true? You molested her?!"

Haruhi had the decency to look ashamed. "Ugh... Kyon, I... I couldn't help it, she was just the perfect combination of cute and sexy! I mean, look at her!"

"That's no excuse and you know it!" Kyon shouted at her. "That kind of behavior is really unbecoming of a goddess! Isn't that right, Lady Blanc?! Even if you're jealous of Lady Vert's chest, you've never tried to fondle her, have you?!"

"No," White Heart admitted. "Although, she has squished my head into her chest once or twice as a joke..."

"Okay, okay, you've made your point!" Haruhi insisted, raising her hands in surrender. "Neon was just as angry as you were, Kyon! She literally slapped me in the face to get me to stop! Believe me, I got the hint!"

"Well, I should hope so," Kyon nodded curtly, before turning back to the aliens. "Sorry about that, Your Highness..."

"No, it's quite all right," Asseylum smiled and shook her head. "It's quite fascinating to see someone show no fear to a goddess like Ma'nabatea whatsoever... Now, please, Mikuru, stop hiding, if you would."

"But why is that man covered in shadow?" Mikuru said as she peeked out from behind Asseylum. "I-it's a little scary..."

"I can fix that," Haruhi said as she clapped a hand on John's shoulder, his black frame suddenly flooded with a cascade of colors until he was fully visible, short brown hair framing an average, but still mildly handsome face with black eyes. He wore a blue school uniform with a white undershirt and a red tie, with plain brown sneakers. "There we go! All colored in!"

"Yare yare," John grunted as he looked over himself. "Well, I guess this was inevitable, seeing how prominent I've become in this story..."

"O-oh, so that's what he looks like," Mikuru said, timidly stepping out from behind Asseylum.

"Not bad," the older woman commented as she looked John Smith over. "If I was a bit younger, I might have taken an interest in this one-tcha..."

"Well, now that that's settled," Purple Heart spoke up, "I believe introductions are in order."

"Oh, yes, of course," Princess Asseylum agreed. "Well, as you know, I am Princess Asseylum Aldnoah Zero of Vers. This young retainer of mine is Mikuru Asahina. And the older one is Urusei Yatsura, from planet Oniboshi."

"A pleasure to meet you goddesses," Urusei bowed in respect.

"Y-yes, me too!" Mikuru nervously curtsied. "So, what do we call you?"

"I am Purple Heart, ruler of this nation, known as Planeptune," Purple Heart replied, before abruptly reverting her transformation! "But you can call me Neptune! And this is my little sister Nepgear, or Nep Jr. as I call her!"

"Nice to meet you," Purple Sister bowed, before reverting to normal as well. "We're really not that intimidating once you get to know us..."

"You should know me," Black Heart said as she reverted to Noire. "Well, Princess Asseylum should, anyway."

"Yes, nice to meet you in person, Lady Noire," Asseylum acknowledged.

"I'm Blanc, AKA White Heart, I rule Lowee to the north," Blanc said as she also reverted. "I admit I've got a bit of a temper, but when you have to deal with two younger sisters..."

"I understand where you're coming from-tcha," Urusei chuckled. "I had to babysit my bratty baby cousin a lot, back in the day..."

"And last but not least, I am the Goddess of Leanbox to the south, Green Heart," Vert said as she changed back. "In this form, you may call me Lady Vert. And I wish I had a sister of any sort..."

"I... see." Asseylum blinked a few times at that last comment, before shrugging it off. "So then, you four rule this world together?"

"Eh... kinda-sorta," Neptune grunted.

"Our nations compete with each other economically," Vert explained. "A long time ago, we saw each other as rivals or even potential enemies, but a worldwide crisis forced us to band together..."

"We still have our differences, but we all get along now, for the most part," Noire finished. "The closest we come to fighting nowadays is if Vert teases Blanc too much about her flat chest... and even then, it's more of a cat-fight."

"A-after my encounter with Ma'nabatea, I k-kinda wish my chest was as small as Lady Blanc's..." Mikuru grunted.

"Too bad we can't trade racks," Blanc muttered.

"Alright, that's enough about breasts," Urusei cut in. "Honestly, you'd think this was a soft porn film, the way you're goin' on-tcha..."

"Th-that's not what I meant, dammit!" Blanc blushed profusely.

"I would certainly hope not," a quiet male voice intruded, the group turning to see a young decently-built man with wild brown hair and cold black eyes, wearing a black tank top and gray trousers. "Mission complete, Your Highness."

"Yes, good work," Asseylum nodded. "Everyone, this is Wing Gundam, the pilot of the robot I sent to assist you with those large bird-men."

"We had things pretty much under control," Noire noted. "Not that we don't appreciate the help, though."

"Your robot is so cool, though!" Nepgear practically teleported in front of Wing Gundam with sparkling eyes. "What are the specifications? How did you become a pilot? Have you been many battles? Maybe with cool explos- _Eep!_" She took on a Nepgya-face as the pilot pulled a gun on her!

"Shut up or I'll kill you," Wing growled menacingly.

"W-w-what the goodness?!" Nepgear backed up several steps in fear.

"WING! What have I told you about doing that?!" another female voice called from inside the ship, a young woman descending down the ramp. She had shoulder-length black hair held in place with a yellow headband, black eyes, a small pointed nose and thin lips. She was clad in a skintight suit that was mostly black, with a large pink dot on the chest, said suit showing off her B-cup size bosom. The suit also had two brass shoulder guards with a single antenna on each. "Put your gun away! That's a goddess you're threatening, you know!"

"...Fine," Wing sighed as he holstered his weapon.

"I'm so sorry about him," the woman apologized. "He's not the most sociable... I'm his cousin, G Gundam. Please don't ask what the G stands for."

"Are you a giant robot pilot, too?" Nepgear asked cautiously, shifting away from Wing.

"Against my wishes, yes," Wing grumbled.

"You of all people know why I decided to become a pilot alongside you!" G Gundam said sternly, with her hands on her hips. "Besides, I think I've more than proven myself!"

"Yes, you certainly have," Urusei agreed with a chuckle. "Lady Nepgear, perhaps you could direct your questions to G here? Wing can stay and keep an eye on the ship."

"Fine by me," Wing agreed, turning and walking off. "Don't pester my cousin too much, Nepgear. You've been warned." G could only sigh in exasperation.

"Anyway, perhaps we could proceed to your... um..." Asseylum faltered.

"Basilicom," Neptune finished for her. "Right, lemme get a hold of taxi service... We don't wanna panic people by just teleporting, after all," she glanced over at Haruhi.

"Fair enough," the Animenga goddess shrugged. "Looks like they're not so scared anymore, though..." Indeed, several NPCs were attempting to take pictures of the alien princess and her entourage with their phones and mobile devices, though Neon, Dragon Ball and Uzume were keeping them at bay.

While Neptune was getting on her phone, Blanc also got on her mobile device as well. "What are you doing?" Vert asked.

"I finally realized what was nagging at me," she replied. "If the bad guys jacked into our conference call, then that means they might know that we're away from our Basilicoms... Hello, Financier? Is everything all right over there? ...Really? Well, that's fine. Just let me know if anything happens, okay? Thanks, bye." Hanging up, Blanc said to the others, "Well, seems all's well back home... Peashy came over to play with Rom and Ram, Mina's watching over them."

"Little Peashy?" Vert pondered. "She traveled to Lowee all by her lonesome?"

"Well, Plutie's probably still sore after the thrashing Haruhi gave her," Neptune pointed out. "Anyway, taxis should be here soon..."

"Well, Uni, K-Sha, and Sister Ciel are holding down the fort in Lastation, so I'm not worried," Noire commented. "What about you, Vert?"

"Chika, Peach, and Tekken should be enough to stop any shenanigans by Ho-Hum," Vert replied. "I have faith in my Oracle and bodyguard."

"Who is this Ho-Hum?" Princess Asseylum queried curiously.

"A terrorist group trying to destroy faith in these goddesses by putting them in humiliating situations," Haruhi explained. "Oh, and just so we're clear, Haruhi is the alias I'm going by here."

"Terrorist group?!" Asseylum gasped. "Oh, my... I'm suddenly grateful that Father insisted on a military escort..."

"Yeah, I highly doubt they'll try to kidnap you after this show of force," Blanc commented. "They did manage to hijack a big robot from an amusement park back in Lowee, but your stuff's probably got completely different source code..."

"Yes, our technology should be well-protected from any attempts at remote hijacking," Asseylum nodded.

"You'd better hope so, Your Highness!" an NPC called from a distance. "Last thing we want is this ship raining lasers and bombs on our heads!"

"I do worry about that Keramon, though," Vert whispered to Blanc. "If that thing was able to get into your Basilicom to scare Rom and Ram so easily..."

"We'll tell her about it once we get to the Basilicom," Blanc whispered back. "We don't wanna panic the citizens..."

_*Speaking of Keramon...*_

"Kekeke! Om nom nom!" Keramon munched on another of Vert's MMO accounts. "Delicious data! Where should Keramon go next?" Looking about, the Digimon spotted a data port reading _'4 Goddesses Online.'_ "Oooh, lots of data there!" Keramon promptly entered the port, emerging into the MMO proper...

Only to be suddenly confronted with an entire guild of knights and mages! "There it is! Keramon, the Data Devourer!" One knight cried.

"Good thing the GM warned us!" another nodded. "We won't allow you to devour our lady's avatar and load-out!"

_"Glory to the Verdant Knights!"_ the first declared, the others roaring a battle cry!

_"KEEEEE!_ No faaaaaiiirrr!" Keramon screeched as it fled, dodging arrows and magic blasts!

_*To be continued...*_

Good thing Vert's fellow MMO players were ready for Keramon! Too bad for her other MMO accounts though... Next chapter, find out what else Ho-Hum is doing while the CPUs are occupied!

(P.S. In case you're wondering why I made Urusei Yatsura an old woman, it's because the anime itself is quite old!)


	28. Chapter 27- The Mice Will Play

New chapter! When the cat's away...

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 27- The Mice Will Play

_*Lowee Basilicom*_

"...yes, of course I'll let you know, Lady Blanc," Financier spoke over the cell phone. "Okay then, bye." Hanging up, the maid looked outside, seeing Peashy, Rom and Ram having a snowball fight together. Even though Peashy was getting pummeled way more than the other two, she seemed to be enjoying herself, regardless... "Well, I suppose I should get some snacks ready for when they come- MMMMPH!" She cried as she was grabbed from behind, a chloroform cloth being shoved over her nose and mouth!

"Shh, don't struggle," her captor whispered. "It'll all be over soon..." Sure enough, Financier's struggles soon ceased, going limp in Underling's arms. "Warechu, get a chair over here!"

"Right-chu!" Warechu nodded, pushing a chair over to them, Linda sitting Financier in said chair, adjusting her position so we wouldn't fall out.

"Good, now they'll think she just nodded off. Come on!" Leaving the maid where she was, the two miscreants quietly went off...

_*Blanc's Office*_

Blanc's desktop computer had been unplugged, Linda now trying to pry open the tower with a crowbar. Looking across the room, she saw Warechu apparently spray-painting the wall... "What are you doing?!" she hissed.

"Just leavin' a calling card, chu," Warechu responded, painting the words 'HO-HUM WUZ HERE'.

"Ah! Got it!" Linda grunted as she finally pried the computer open. "Hard drive, hard drive... here it is!" With a sinister grin, she forcibly pried said hard drive out of the tower, leaving a sizable hole behind! "Alright, we got what we came for! Let's vamoose!"

"Wait for me, chu!" Warechu said as he followed Linda out of the office.

_*Meanwhile, in Lastation...*_

"Ha! Headshot!" Uni grinned as K-Sha's character slumped over and de-spawned.

"Ooh, I'll get you next time!" K-Sha growled as she respawned at the corner of the map. Just then, the two heard the sound of glass breaking upstairs!

"That came from Noire's office!" Uni realized, jumping to her feet.

"Oh no!" K-Sha gasped as she retrieved her machine gun, the two abandoning their FPS game and quickly running upstairs to Noire's office... When they got up there, they saw that one of the windows had been smashed, the lack of glass shards indicating that it had been broken from the inside out... everything else seemed to be untouched, however. "Doesn't look like anything's been stolen..."

Uni brow furrowed as something occurred to her. "Wait a minute..." Walking over to Noire's desk, she pressed a hidden button underneath, causing the wall to slide open, revealing a closet! "This is where Noire keeps all her cosplay costumes..."

"A-are they supposed to be all torn up?" K-Sha asked nervously.

"What?!" Uni ran over to check... sure enough, not only was the closet half as full as it should have been, the remaining costumes had had a knife taken to them! "Oh no... Noire's not gonna like this one bit..."

"Should I tell her?" K-Sha offered.

Uni just shook her head. "No... as her sister, I have to take responsibility." With that, she pulled out her Sand-Song phone, and dialed...

_*Leanbox City Zoo, Polar Bear Exhibit*_

"I wanna pose with the bear next!" a young girl exclaimed.

"No, me!" another girl protested, with both gathering around Kuma, who was currently making a strongman pose as if we was just another mascot at the zoo. The girls' parents were trying to get them to stop fighting, while at the same time getting their cameras ready...

"(Dude, what are you doin' outside your cage?)" One of the polar bears growled at Kuma.

"(I'm a free bear, I don't live in a cage,)" Kuma grumbled back, not even turning to look at them. "(Are you seriously fine with being cooped up like that?)"

"(Dude, compared to the frigid wasteland we grew up in, this is heaven!)" another polar bear responded. "(You should join us!)"

"(I don't think so. And you're all a disgrace to real bears,)" Kuma tried to keep from raising his voice.

"Are you taking to your cousins, Mr. Bear?" one of the children inquired.

"Everything okay over here?" a zoo worker walked up to the group.

"Just dandy," one of the fathers replied.

"I must admit, whoever sewed this bear costume did a wonderful job," one of the mothers complimented. "You can't tell this mascot from the real thing!"

"Uh..." the zoo worker sweat-dropped. "But, we don't _have_ a grizzly bear costume..."

"(That's my cue!)" Kuma promptly dropped onto all fours and let loose with a loud roar!

"AHHHHH! It's real!" the kids screamed as they ran, the parents running after them in panic.

_"Mayday! Mayday!_ One of the bears is loose!" the zoo worker cried into his radio, before Kuma knocked him unconscious with a strike to the head!

"(Too easy,)" Kuma chuckled. "(Now, time to cause some havoc!)"

At the other end of the zoo, Dogoo Man could hear the roars of his comrade and the screams of the tourists. "There goes Kuma! Now it's my turn!" Emerging from his hiding spot, he ran over to the exhibit where the surviving Tenga from the stadium battle with Lilithmon were being held... "Hey Tenga! Your black cat friend sent me to bust you out!"

"Caww! It's about time!" one of the Tenga flapped its wings in irritation. "We were wondering when she'd come to get us, after making a new copy from one of us a while back!"

"Just be glad they came for us at all, caww!" another Tenga admonished his brethren.

"Okay, quit your squawking," Dogoo Man grunted as he made his way to the locked door, grasping the bars and pulling with all his might, the door creaking and warping before being wrenched right its hinges! _"-There!_ You're all free!"

"Yeah!" "All right!" The thirteen Tenga promptly exited their prison, jumping and flapping their wings in joy!

"HOLD IT! What do you birdbrains think you're doing?!" an older, grizzled zoo worker called out as he ran up.

"Getting our revenge, caww!" With that one Tenga grabbed the ex-drill sergeant's shoulders in his talons, lifting him off the ground! "Take a swim, caww!" he taunted as he let go, the worker splashing into the seal exhibit! The other Tenga laughed as the worker was promptly used as a ball by the largest seal, being bounced on its nose!

"Okay! Let's cause some more ruckus before we go back to headquarters!" Dogoo Man declared, he and the bird-men promptly running off to join up with Kuma...

_*To be continued...*_

Wow, the bad guys have sure ramped up their efforts! How will the CPUs react when they find out? Will anyone be able to stop the chaos at the zoo? Will the aliens' opinions of the CPUs suffer a hit? Stay tuned, and review!


	29. Chapter 28- A Really Bad Day

And now, the fallout from the previous chapter...

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 28- A Really Bad Day

_*Planeptune Basilicom*_

"So this is your basilica," Princess Asseylum Aldnoah Zero mused as she and her two retainers entered, G Gundam not far behind. "I have to admit, the exterior design belies what the inside looks like..."

"Basilicom. And _I'm_ not one for anything fancy," Neptune stated. "That's more up Noire or Vert's alley."

"My Basilicom's not _that_ fancy," Noire sweat-dropped. "It's more... sleek and streamlined in design."

"More like cold and impersonal," Neptune taunted back. "Probably one of the reasons you don't have any friends..."

"Will you stop?! We've been over this several chapters ago!" Noire yelled with a vein pulsing on her forehead. "I do have a friend now, remember?!"

"I sympathize with your situation, Lady Noire," Asseylum interjected. "Due to my station, I haven't had many people that I could call a friend, either... Mikuru here is one of the few."

"R-really, Your Highness?!" Mikuru squeaked in surprise, her face flushing a little. Just then, something caught her eye. "Oh! Is that a fairy over there?"

"More like an artificial construct in the shape of a fairy," Vert stated. "Her function is a recorder of history, which is why she's called Histoire."

"It's so cute, though!" Mikuru exclaimed as she ran up to Histoire. "I-I almost wanna take it home with me..."

"Please don't," Histoire spoke up, causing Mikuru to yelp in surprise. "But yes, I am Histoire, recorder of history and Oracle of Planeptune. I welcome you, delegation from the Vers Empire of the Animenga Star Cluster."

"The pleasure is all mine," Asseylum said as she and Urusei curtsied, the princess then introducing herself and her retainers. "So, will you tell us a little bit about the history of this planet, or at least this nation?"

"Cliff's Notes version, Histy," Neptune deadpanned, "don't wanna bore 'em for three weeks..." Just then, a phone rang somewhere.

"Oh, that's me," Vert realized, grabbing her mobile device. "...hello? Really? I see... well, that's great news. Tell the Verdant Knights that I commend them for a job well done! Okay, thanks. Good bye." Hanging up, she said, "That was the GM for _4 Goddesses Online_... that Keramon apparently tried to snack on my MMO account, but my guild was able to chase it off."

"4 Goddesses Online...? I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't follow," Asseylum said in mild confusion.

"It's a massive multiplayer online role playing game, or MMORPG for short," Blanc explained. "We CPUs and our sisters tried the new beta awhile back... it wasn't too bad, even if we had to deal with a hacker trying to wreck the game."

"Oh, so it's an online video game," Mikuru realized. "Princess Asseylum doesn't really do that sort of thing, so it's no surprise she would be confused. N-no offense meant, Your Highness."

"None taken," Asseylum reassured her. "But what about this 'Keramon'?"

"Basically, it's a virus made by that Ho-Hum terrorist group to try and mess up our computer systems," Noire expounded. "A less advanced version was used to infect Leanbox's space team HQ, and also my Basilicom in Lastation. Fortunately we managed to fix the damage in both instances, but..."

"Technically, I fixed the problem at LASA," Haruhi spoke up. "But only because things were so bad that nothing else would've worked..."

"Well, I hope you made a good impression with the local space team," Urusei worried.

"The head administrator required some convincing that we were in fact extraterrestrial in origin," Neon pointed out. "Fortunately the deputy administrator and those below him were a bit more amicable..."

"The citizens of Lastation sure weren't, though," John Smith sighed. "One ran away screaming when Haruhi appeared, and another thought I was brainwashed!"

"That's not good," G Gundam sweat-dropped.

"Reminds me of when Daddy first visited a planet that hadn't yet achieved space travel-tcha," Urusei reminisced. "He was kinda large and intimidating, so the people reacted pretty much as you'd expect... At least they warmed up a bit when I came to say hello-tcha. It helped that I was quite the looker back in the day..."

"You have all the men eating out of your hand?" John snarked.

"Something like that," Urusei chuckled. "Not that I was promiscuous or anything of that nature, mind you..."

"My father said that you used to dress in nothing but a bikini and go-go boots," Asseylum spoke up, causing both Mikuru and G Gundam to gasp and blush red at the thought.

"D-did you have to tell them that?!" Urusei cried as her face reddened, causing some light laughter throughout the room...

But then, another ringtone interrupted the good humor... "It's me this time," Noire said as she pulled out and answered the phone. "Hello, Uni, is something wrong...?" Noire went silent as her eyes went wide, her pupils shrinking to pinpricks. "N... No..." the phone slid out of her hand and clattered to the floor as she slumped to her knees, staring listlessly at the ceiling...

"L-Lady Noire?! What's the matter?!" Asseylum inquired.

"Hello? Hello?!" Uni's voice was heard from the phone, Nepgear quickly walking over and picking it up.

"Uni, it's Nepgear! What happened? ...What?! How could they?!"

"Lemme guess, they screwed with Noire's cosplay costumes?" Neptune sighed.

_**"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**_ Noire wailed in despair, before curling into a fetal position, crying her eyes out. Immediately the other CPUs were gathered around her, pulling her back to a sitting position, the twin-tailed tsundere eventually settling for sobbing on Neptune's shoulder.

"Um, Uni says that half of Noire's costumes are gone, and the other half got slashed up by a knife or something," Nepgear explained as she hung up Noire's phone. "It must have been Tenten Ryghts who did that..."

"Is she an infamous thief or something?" Asseylum wondered.

"In my nation, she is," Vert nodded, before telling the aliens about what The Lynx had wrought in Leanbox... "And now it seems she's been recruited by Ho-Hum to steal things for them..."

"You'd think after being framed for murder by a mad clone goddess, she'd be willing to turn her life around," Urusei pondered. "Of course, doesn't mean she wasn't coerced into joining somehow..."

"Um, Noire," Haruhi kneeled down beside the sobbing CPU. "If it's okay with you, maybe I could... fix up the costumes that were left behind?"

"R-really...?" Noire sniffled as she turned her head to look Haruhi in the eye. "Y-you'd do that for me...?"

"Sure! We goddesses gotta stick together, after all," Haruhi smiled and nodded. "After all, you only beat that Deity of Sin, Rei Ryghts and Kurome by all banding together, right?"

"That's true," Nepgear nodded and smiled.

"Anything to stop my parka from getting soaked," Neptune also agreed.

"Okay, then! We'll be right back. Shouldn't take long," Haruhi asserted as she took Noire's hand, the two of them vanishing in a flash of light.

"Um, by the way... what is cosplay?" Asseylum asked quizzically.

"It's when you dress up like a character from a cartoon or a movie," Mikuru explained to her. "Um, Haruhi put me in a few of those costumes too..."

"Well, she better not try to dress you in any of Lady Noire's costumes," John asserted with crossed arms. "Or I might just have to deck her again..."

The alien trio gasped at this. "Y-you punched Ma'nabatea in the face?!" Asseylum cried, unable to believe her ears.

"Seriously?!" G Gundam gasped.

"It was only to convince the one Lastation citizen he was not brainwashed," Neon assured them. "Though I did not approve, either."

"Hee hee, you've got some spunk, young man," Urusei smirked once she'd gotten over her initial shock. "Most people are quaking in their boots when they learn who and what Lady Lilith is..."

"I told you not to call me that!" Haruhi yelled as she and Noire reappeared, the latter looking _slightly_ less despondent than before. "Anyway, her remaining wardrobe's fixed, but they still stole the cream of the crop. Uni's getting ahold of the police as we speak..."

"But Tenten shouldn't have been able to steal all those costumes by herself," Noire muttered. "She must've had help..."

"Maybe it was that Generic Ninja that tried to put me and Nep Jr. on ice, literally," Neptune suggested. "Might also explain how they snuck past Uni and K-Sha..."

"But Steamax should've been nearby, he would have stopped them!" Noire insisted.

"U-unless Generic Ninja #25 IS Steamax..." Nepgear suggested. "I-I mean, I don't think anyone's seen him out of his armor, as shy as he is..."

"But- that guy tried to kill you and Neptune!" Noire pointed out. "It doesn't make any sense...!"

"Unless he was _trying_ to lose to Neptune and little Nepgear," Vert countered. "But to be fair, we don't have any proof that Nepgear's theory is accurate..."

"Maybe we should just try asking Uni herself," Neptune suggested. "If anyone's seen that robo-ninja unmasked, it'd be her."

"Alright, I'll do that when I get back home," Noire assented. Just then, another phone rang...

"Hello?" Blanc answered. "Mina? What's going on...?" Her eyes went wide, before going to 'angry-face' mode. **"THEY DID WHAT?!"** Everyone in the room covered their ears at her outburst, Blanc then taking her hat and covering her face as she started spewing some colorful language...

"Um, dare I ask what happened this time?" Asseylum ventured hesitantly.

"THEY RIPPED MY DAMN HARD DRIVE OUTTA MY COMPUTER!" Blanc pulled her head up to speak clearly. "All my damn manuscripts were on there...!" She buried her face in her hat again, continuing to curse like a sailor...

"My goodness, such unbecoming language for a goddess..." Urusei Yatsura sweat-dropped.

"And she seemed so nice, too," G Gundam grunted in disbelief.

"Give her credit for tryin' to muffle herself," Neptune sighed, handing a pillow to her fellow CPU. "Here, Blanc, this might work better..." Blanc promptly grabbed said pillow and started cursing into that instead, her language now significantly muffled.

"S-so Lady Blanc is a book writer?" Mikuru asked.

"She tries, but they never sell at all," Noire expounded. "I tried reading one of her books once, but I couldn't get past the first chapter, it was so awful..."

"Like you could do any damn better!" Blanc yelled at her before muffling herself again.

"Um, speaking of computers..." Nepgear spoke up again. "Keramon might've been driven out of 4GO, but what about other games of yours, Vert?"

"Oh my goodness!" Vert's eyes shrank to white circles, "I never even considered that! Excuse me for a moment..." She promptly exited the room.

"I think we better get ready to cover our ears again," Neptune deadpanned. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1..."

_**"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" **_Vert's wail of despair echoed through the whole Basilicom and beyond. "All my other MMO accounts...! Deleted! Destroyed! All that progress, _gone! Whyyyyyyy...?!"_

"Nep Jr, you're up," Neptune said with a nod.

"R-right, I'll go comfort her," Nepgear nodded, heading off.

"Seems like you're all having a really bad day-tcha," Urusei sighed and shook her head.

"Yeah, how about we adjourn for now and give everyone some time to calm down?" Haruhi suggested. "Neptune, maybe you can show Asseylum and the others around the city a bit..."

"I'm fine with that," G Gundam agreed.

"I'll come along too," Noire said. "I could use the fresh air, anyway..."

"Very well, let's be going then," Asseylum assented, she and her retainers standing up...

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

Blanc's hard drive had been wired into Ho-Hum's main computer, Warechu reading off one of the many manuscripts stored within... "And the Golden Princess of Dawn smashed the Staff of Beginnings into the Dark Lord Vile Destroyer, causing him to realize all the wrongs he had ever done, and the beauty and purity of the Golden Princess of Dawn lit a small shaft of light within his black dark heart..."

_"Gahahahaha-!_ Stop, _stop!"_ Linda cried, rolling on the floor as she guffawed. "I-I'm gonna bust a gut, here...!"

"Me t-too, meow...!" BlackGatomon concurred, also laughing her tail off.

"I'd heard Lady Blanc's writing was bad, but Dear Goddess..." Generic Soldier #20 sweat-dropped.

"You should try reading her attempts at romance novels," Overlord Momus deadpanned. Just then, the sound of an approaching car was heard. "Ah, it seems Generic Ninja #25 and Generic Thief #11 have returned..."

"We're back!" Tenten called as she entered, carrying a few of Noire's cosplay costumes on hangers. "We swiped the cream of the crop, and trashed the rest!"

"Indeed, Lady Uni and Miss K-Sha were so occupied with their FPS, sneaking past them was a cinch," Generic Ninja #25 added.

"Excellent work!" Momus nodded. "Now we just need to wait for Dogoo Man and Kuma, and see if their rescue mission of the old Tenga was successful..."

_*To be continued...*_

Next time, find out what happened at the Leanbox City Zoo! A lot of you will likely guess what's gonna happen... ;)


	30. Chapter 29- Rangers at the Zoo

Finally got this chapter finished! Whoo-hoo!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 29- Rangers at the Zoo

_*Leanbox Basilicom, Hallway*_

"Okay, okay, I think we should stop," Peach Macintosh grunted, sweat dripping down her brow as she panted with exertion.

"Huh? But I can keep going!" Tekken insisted, also sweaty with a few bruises.

"No, we- we need to take a break before we seriously hurt each other," Peach insisted. (Not to mention your groans of _enjoyment_ every time I landed a hard hit... masochist much?!) Just then, Chika ran into the room, looking distressed. "Chika, what's up?"

"There's been an attack at the zoo!" Chika cried. "That Dogoo Man and Kuma set the captive Tenga free, and now they're wreaking havoc!"

"My Kuma?!" Tekken gasped. "Th-that bad bear! I'm gonna have to teach him a lesson!" She started to run off, only for Peach to grab her shoulder.

"Whoa, hold it... there's a way we can get there far faster," Peach said. "Chika, get that teleporter ready!"

"Right away!" Chika nodded, running off.

"You have a teleporter?!" Tekken asked.

"You know who MAGES. is?" Getting a nod, Peach continued, "Yeah, she made that thing... it allows us to warp anywhere in the city. Speaking of which..." Pulling out her myPhone, she dialed a number from her contact list... "A-Mac! Is Nisa with you? ...Great! Listen, there's trouble happening at the zoo, and we'll need all the help we can get! So get your Morphers and haul butt! Okay, thanks! Bye." Hanging up, she explained, "My half-brother and his girlfriend, we're all part of a special-forces group, so to speak. Anyway, let's get up to the teleporter!"

"Okay!" Tekken agreed, the two heading up to where the teleporter was stored.

"Chika! We ready to roll?" Peach said to her co-worker.

"It's all ready to go!" Chika nodded. "Tekken, you'll go first. "When I say 'now', jump and do a forward-flip."

"But why?" Tekken pondered.

"Because otherwise, you'll fall down a foot or so and maybe sprain your ankle," Peach explained. "Minor glitch that MAGES. couldn't iron out..."

"Okay, Tekken, stand here, please," Chika instructed, the martial artist doing as ordered. "And... now!" Tekken jumped and did a forward-flip, vanishing in a flash of light. "Alright, we're next!"

"OK then!" Peach said, pulling out her Armor Morpher.

_"It's Armor Time!"_

_"WHITE GORILLA!"_

_"BLACK RAVEN!"_

In a bright flash, the duo were morphed and gone!

_*Leanbox City Zoo*_

"Oof!" Tekken grunted as she fell on her rear end. "Guess I didn't stick the landing..." Getting up, she saw two flashes of light, discharging Peach and Chika, now clad in full body armor! "Oh wow, a-are those y-your special forces outfits?"

"Something like that," Peach nodded. "Okay, let's go find Kuma and Dogoo Man!"

"Right!" Tekken and Chika agreed.

Fortunately, they weren't hard to find, assisting the Tenga in torturing the zoo workers and letting the less-dangerous animals (monkeys, lemurs, and elephants to name a few) out of confinement! "Stop right there, Ho-Hum!" White Gorilla called out, the trio standing atop a brick wall divider.

"Caww! It's the Armored Rangers, caww!" the Tenga gasped in recognition.

"Hey, I remember you two!" Dogoo Man said, having a worker in a one-armed headlock. However, Kuma had his back to the heroes, growling at a few terrified workers that were backed against the wall!

**"KUMA!"** Tekken yelled, the bear turning and doing a double-take, allowing the workers to escape!

"(Ahhh! M-M-M-M-_Master?!)"_ Kuma roared in surprise.

"Kuma, you've been a bad bear!" Tekken pointed at him. "How could you fall in with terrorists?! Did they promise a year's supply of honey or something?!"

"(W-wait, Master! I-i-it's not what it looks like, I swear!)" Kuma frantically shook his head and waved his paws.

"I don't really care _what_ it looks like!" Tekken cracked her fists menacingly. "Looks like your old training partner needs to teach you a new lesson!" With that, she jumped down and took her karate stance!

"Okay then! I'll handle Dogoo Man, Chika, you take care of the Tenga!" Peach ordered, jumping down in front of the blue muscleman.

"Roger that!" Black Raven concurred, equipping her spear as she joined the others.

"I've been waiting for a rematch!" Dogoo Man said as he released his hostage, the zoo worker swiftly scrambling to safety! "Saying muscles aren't everything... I'll make you eat those words! And your helmet, too!"

"Not likely, blue freak!" White Gorilla shot back, rushing forward as she and her opponent pulled back their fists... but she feinted to the side at the last moment, Dogoo Man's punch whiffing as she kicked him in the knee joint, knocking him off balance and allowing the Ranger wrap her arm around his neck and slam him to the ground! However, Dogoo Man managed to grab Peach's leg and toss her head over heels!

Meanwhile, Kuma was taking a defensive posture, blocking and parrying Tekken's punches as best as he was able... Seeing an opening, he smacked her away with a butt-bump, before jumping back to get a little distance between them. "(Please, Master! I'm not evil! You have to listen!)"

"You helped strip an Oracle naked and humiliated her!" Tekken yelled back. "You need to be punished! _Raijin Fist!"_ She charged forward and slammed Kuma with an electrically-charged uppercut, knocking the bear on his back!

While Peach and Tekken fought, Chika was doing her best to fend off the Tenga, having taken a few blows, but managing to shrug them off thanks to her armor. _"Sylhet Spear!"_ she intoned, the bird-men scattering away from the giant spear that was summoned!

"That won't work! We know your tricks, caww!" the Tenga taunted, attempting to dogpile on Black Raven, only for her to use her spear as a pole-vault to jump over them and escape! She then unleashed a _Rainy Ratnapura_ on the group, causing many of them to yelp in pain as they again scattered.

"You say you know my tricks, but you're all far too predictable yourself!" Chika asserted, parrying a few attacks with her spear. (That being said, I could use a little assistance- thirteen against one is a bit much, even if they are just cannon fodder...!) She instinctively backed up a few steps as a few Tenga took flight to attack her from the air...

But then they were blasted out of the sky with explosive ammo! The group turned to see two more Armored Rangers ride up on a motorcycle! "Yellow Tiger and Blue Falcon are here!" they declared, dismounting and taking their battle stances, the latter brandishing her Prinny Gun.

"Uh-oh! More Rangers!" the Tenga cried in panic.

"Get outta here, birds!" Dogoo Man ordered as he grappled with Peach. "We'll cover for ya!" He promptly grabbed White Gorilla around the waist and hurled her through the air, the ranger crashing atop Blue Falcon as the Tenga took wing and fled into the sky!

"Agh, you're heavy, Peach!" Nisa complained.

"You won't get away so easily!" Chika yelled as the tip of her spear glowed green. _"Inbetween-_ OOF!" she was interrupted as Kuma suddenly tackled her from behind, forcing her to the ground! Fortunately for her, the grizzly was soon kicked off her by Tekken, but it was too late- the Tenga were already out of range.

"Okay, time to get outta here!" Dogoo Man said as he ran for the main gate, Kuma quickly righting himself and dashing to catch up...

"Oh no you don't!" White Gorilla cried as she made a long leap after them, managing to tackle Kuma, who crashed into the corner of a brick wall and toppled over unconscious! Dogoo Man tried to go back for him, only for Tekken to rush in and hit him with a _Fujin Fist_ uppercut, the resulting tornado catapulting Dogoo Man into a twinkle in the sky!

"Whoa, sweet!" Yellow Tiger said as he ran up next to Tekken. "That was awesome, ma'am!"

"Eh-heh-heh, I didn't think I'd send him _that_ far," Tekken blushed in mild embarrassment. "I thought he'd just fly over the wall and be knocked out..."

"Well, at least we caught one of them," Peach pointed out. "Now where do we lock up this big lug where he can't escape?"

"Well, surely the zoo has a spare cage we can put him in," Chika supplied. "In the meantime, we should help the workers get the escaped animals back in their confinements..."

"Alright, you, Nisa and A-Mac help the workers, Tekken and I'll drag Kuma into a cage where we can interrogate him," Peach ordered.

"Right!" "Roger that!" "Okay!" The three Armored Rangers went off...

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

_"Gaaaaahhhh!_ I'm sooooorrrrryyyy!" Dogoo Man screamed as he was shocked with several thousand volts!

"You have _failed_ me, Dogoo Man!" Overlord Momus raged. "I explicitly ordered you to get in, free the Tenga, and get out! But because of your idiocy, we've lost Kuma! And not even to the CPU, but to the Armored Rangers! I expected better of you!" He then stopped the current, allowing the muscleman to slide bonelessly to the ground.

"To be fair, those Rangers aren't exactly pushovers, meow," BlackGatomon pointed out. "Especially the white one, she could give a CPU a run for her money..."

"The blue one's pretty dangerous too, caww!" One of the original Tenga spoke up. "She killed several of us during our last battle in the stadium, caww!"

"We do not speak of that incident," BlackGatomon growled in a tone of voice more befitting of her evolved forms. "So what now, meow?"

"I need to consult with Dr. Pop," Momus said, turning and storming off...

_*To be continued...*_

And so a major Ho-Hum member is finally captured! Will Kuma sing like a canary in interrogation? And what have the others been getting up to back in Planeptune? Find out next time!


	31. Chapter 30- Asseylum Tours Planeptune

Getting back on schedule...

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 30- Asseylum Tours Planeptune

_*Planeptune City Streets*_

"This is quite nice," Princess Asseylum of Vers observed as she and her retainers walked down a street not far from the Basilicom, Neptune and Noire also with them. "Are all the nations of this world similarly advanced?"

"Well, we're all similarly advanced as far as technology is concerned," Noire replied. "All different styles, though... Like I said before, my nation's more sleek and streamlined, while Leanbox looks more like something out of a MMORPG, almost. Of course, given what Vert does half the time or more..."

"And Lowee's in wintry weather through most of the year," Neptune stated. "They used to have houses that looked like giant mushrooms, but that's kinda fallen out of style for more traditional housing up there these days..."

"Heh... giant mushrooms," Urusei Yatsura chuckled. "Boy, does that bring back memories..."

"But why would anyone wanna live in a giant mushroom house?" G Gundam said as she walked with them, her hands behind her head. "I sure wouldn't..."

Just then, Neptune's phone rang. "Hello? ...Hey Nep Jr, what's up? ...Really? Well, I bet Vert's happy about that, huh? ...Okay, thanks. Bye." She then hung up. "Sounds like they contacted tech support for the MMOs that Vert lost, and most of them said they can restore her accounts from backup."

"Well, that's good to hear," Noire nodded. "Doesn't bring back my stolen costumes, though... or Blanc's tacky manuscripts."

"I would like to read one of Lady Blanc's books," Asseylum stated, "just to see if they're really as bad as you say."

"I'll let her know when we get back," Neptune acquiesced. "But I'm warnin' ya, you're either gonna laugh yourself silly or have your brain melt down from the corniness and cliches..."

"Hey, I think we're being followed!" G Gundam pointed to a small crowd of young men walking a few yards behind the group.

"They probably just want to see the aliens," Urusei pointed out.

"Oh, I know those guys," Neptune said dismissively, "they try to ogle Nep Jr. whenever she goes out on the streets. They're mostly harmless though."

"Th-they're taking pictures!" G Gundam realized. "Pictures of me! You perverts, cut it out!"

"Ah come on, can't we admire such lovely curves as yours?" one of the young men responded.

"Ugh!" G recoiled in disgust, retreating behind Asseylum. "I knew I should've switched to casual clothes before I came here...!"

"I'll handle this," Urusei said, walking up to the group of perverts. "You boys remind me of the entourage I had back in my prime... But I don't appreciate you taking pictures of my colleague without her permission-tcha. Especially when I know you're just gonna do lewd things with them in bed!"

"Oooh, we're so scared!" Another teen taunted. "What are you gonna do, old hag, whack us with your cane?" A round of laughter was heard among the group.

"Uh-oh," Asseylum's eyes went wide, "they called her a hag. Not good..."

"Old hag? _Cane?!"_ Urusei growled in anger. "Now listen here-tcha, I may be old, but I'm still fit as a fiddle! And now I'll prove it!" With that, she undid the obi on her kimono, before throwing the whole thing off! Underneath, she was dressed in a tiger-striped bikini with matching go-go boots, along with steel shoulder guards and wristbands! A length of chain was wrapped around her body, from her left shoulder to her right hip.

"Holy fish sticks!" Neptune's eyes shrunk to white circles. "She was still wearing that raunchy bikini all along!"

"A-and she still looks good in it!" Noire sweat-dropped.

"O-oh my!" Mikuru blushed at the sight, burying her face in her hands from embarrassment.

"W-what the hell?!" Several of the perverts cried in shock.

"Heh, it's been too long since I've cut loose-cha," Urusei said with a sinister smirk as she unslung her chain, twirling it with practiced precision. "Time to discipline you sorry hentais!" Screams of terror and pain ensued as the youths were assaulted with chain lashes, kicks to the face and to their groins!

"W-whoa, I've never seen her like this before!" G Gundam commented.

"I'd only heard stories from Father, myself," Asseylum concurred.

"Stop hurting my buddies!" One large boy managed to grab Urusei around the ribcage, pinning her arms!

"Big mistake-tcha," Urusei grinned sinisterly. _"DIVINE RETRIBUTION!"_ The young man screamed as he lit up with several hundred volts of electricity! "Don't worry, he'll live-tcha, it's just like a high end taser!" she said as he collapsed to the ground in a smoking heap. A few more tried to tackle her in revenge, only for the greenette to jump and rise several feet above- and stay there!

"Holy crap! She can _fly?!"_ one of the perverts cried in disbelief.

"Maybe now you realize what this old hag is still capable of?" Urusei taunted, her horns and hairs sparking menacingly. "Now _shove off,_ whippersnappers!" Fortunately the teens got the hint, dragging off their zapped friend as fast as they were able!

"I suppose now you see why she's one of my retainers," Asseylum stated rhetorically.

"Um, here," Neptune picked up Urusei's kimono, handing it back to the alien as she descended back to street level. "Put this back on, before you, like, get arrested for indecent exposure or something!"

"Thank you, Lady Neptune," Urusei nodded as she slid the garment back over her bikini. "Well, hopefully those boys'll think twice before trying to take pictures of G again..."

"Th-thanks, Mrs. Yatsura," G Gundam bowed her head in respect. "If I don't need to pilot, I think I should change into looser clothes as soon as I can..."

"I think some of Nep Jr's clothes will fit you," Neptune suggested. "We'll have to ask her, but I don't think she'll have a problem with letting you borrow some of hers..." Just then, her phone rang again. "Whoops, speaking of which... hello?" she answered. "Oh, Vert, what's happening? ...Really? Sweet! About time we had some good news! Sure, I'll let Noire and the others know! 'Kay, bye!" Hanging up, she addressed the group, "Vert just got a call from Chika, sounds like they managed to capture one of the bad guys!"

"Which one?" Noire asked.

"Eh, it was that Kuma bear Uzume fought with not long ago. Sounds like Tekken helped Big Peashy smack him down. But of course, being a bear, he probably doesn't know much..."

"B-bear? As in a big grizzly bear?!" Mikuru squeaked.

"Yeah, and one trained in karate," Noire said. "He's training partners with Tekken, who trains in karate, but she's kind of a masochist."

"What is a masochist?" Asseylum asked.

"Somebody who gets off on pain," Neptune deadpanned. "I think Nep Jr. tried sparring with her, but she quit out of disgust 'cause Tekken kept moaning in enjoyment when she got hit..."

"O-oh, my!" Asseylum put her hands over her mouth. "W-what could make somebody _enjoy_ pain like that?!"

"Explains why a bear's her training partner," G Gundam sweat-dropped. "So this bear was part of that terrorist group?"

"Yeah, but like I said, he's just hired muscle, like that Dogoo Man," Neptune said. "Anyway, we should haul butt back to the Basilicom... Hopefully Blanc's calmed down by now too, so she can get Princess here one of her lame books..."

_*Meanwhile, back at the Deucalion...*_

"Tell me again why I'm doing this?" Wing Gundam sighed as he flew over the crowds at the airport, having unequipped the machine gun.

"Because the people seem to be really enamored by your robot!" came the reply over the radio. "What better way to help break the ice with a new civilization than to put on a good show for them?"

"Roger that," Wing sighed as he turned and did a forward flip in midair, eliciting cheers from down below... but then, his robot shifted direction, flying right at the ship's hull! "What the-?!" He tried to compensate, only for his robot to simply pirouette and slam it's backside into the ship! Fortunately his cockpit was reinforced for such impacts, but he still jerked back from the inertia. The robot then fell to the ground, before abruptly pulling itself up, starting to wildly dance about with flailing arms! "Argh! Something's wrong with the controls!" He removed the glass shield over a large button labeled 'EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN', then slamming it with his palm! Thankfully it did the trick, the giant robot stopping mid-step before collapsing on its front, multiple airbags deploying to keep Wing safe from a lethal impact. "What the hell just happened...?"

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"It seems I have been cut off," MAGES. mused, sitting at the computer. "The pilot must have engaged the emergency shutdown procedure."

"But you were able to hijack control?" Overlord Momus said.

"Partially, yes," the Mad Magician nodded. "A few tweak in my code, and I should be able to fully hijack their technology! And then we will see how the CPUs deal with this! Fuahahaha!"

"Indeed, we shall see if they are up to the task of stopping an alien giant robot," Momus rubbed his hands in anticipatory glee...

_*To be continued...*_

Uh-oh, this doesn't look good... O_O


	32. Chapter 31- Caged Bears, Stolen Cosplays

Time to move the plot forward!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 31- Caged Bears and Stolen Cosplays

_*Leanbox City Zoo*_

"Wakey wakey..."

Kuma groaned as he slowly woke up, becoming aware that his paws had been restrained... then his vision cleared, showing Peach and Tekken standing menacingly over him. "(Uh-oh... I'm in trouble.)" Indeed, they were inside a spare zoo cage, and all his limbs had been shackled to the wall.

"BIG trouble," Tekken nodded. "If you know what's good for you, you'll answer us honestly! Peashy, you question him, and I'll translate."

"Alright," Peach affirmed. "First things first- why did you join with these terrorists?"

"(They're not terrorists!)" Kuma protested. "(The leader says we're just testing the CPUs to make sure they're ready when a REAL threat comes around! And given that aliens have landed, I can see why!)"

Tekken relayed this to Peach, who bit her lip in thought. "Is that so...? Alright then, who's the leader?"

"(Somebody called 'Overlord Momus'. But he wears a mask, so I don't know what he really looks like...)"

"Overlord Momus?" Tekken pondered, before asking, "But why would he hire you of all bears?"

"(He knows that you can hold your own against the CPUs, and he figured the same held true for me,)" Kuma growled back. "(I mean, me, a simple grizzly bear, being told I'm near the level of a CPU?! You'd be flattered, too!)"

After hearing Tekken's translation, Peach responded, "So you were lured by honeyed words, not actual honey, huh? So who else is part of this operation? We know there's a rogue Leanbox soldier, a thief, Underling, Warechu, S-Sha's Dogoo Man, the Demon Lord we took down not too long ago, and a ninja... anyone else we don't know about?"

"(There's some kid called Citrus, but I don't know what she does... Oh, and a new recruit called Dr. Pop, she knows a thing or two about computers, but that's all I know.)"

"A kid is part of this group?" Tekken said in mild disbelief. "Unless maybe the kid and Momus are family or something..."

"(I have no idea,)" Kuma shrugged. "(I swear I don't know anything else... I just followed orders!)"

"Following orders? Shame, Kuma!" Tekken shook her head. "I thought even a dumb bear like you would know better than to become a villain's hench-bear! Guess I was wrong... so you can just stay in here for a while!" With that, she and Peach exited, the latter firmly shutting and latching the cage door.

"(...at least those polar bears can't see me in here,)" Kuma grumbled. "(They'd probably be pointing and laughing at me right now...)"

_*Back at Planeptune Basilicom...*_

"Overlord Momus?!" Neptune groaned upon hearing Peach's report from Vert's phone. _"Seriously?!_ Geez, couldn't you have come up with a better alias than the one Arfoire used in the very first game?!" She and the other CPUs (and Nepgear) were sitting around a large table listening to the bodyguard's report, Asseylum and her retainers sitting with them, while Haruhi, Neon and John Smith stood off to the side.

"And Kuma says there's a child in their ranks?" Vert said. "How disturbing, if true!"

"Wouldn't be the first time Neptune and I have had to deal with a child being used as a weapon," Nepgear commented. "Vert told you about that, right, Miss- (ahem) I mean, Peashy?"

"Yeah, I was pretty pi- er, _ticked_ off, finding out what those Seven Sages did to the other me," Peach caught herself. "If this kid gets hurt while we're fighting Ho-Hum, Lady Vert should hope she gets to this Overlord Momus first! Or Neptuna..."

"So there's two Peashys?" Asseylum observed.

"Yeah, the younger one comes a parallel dimension," Haruhi spoke up. "Neptune can fill you in on the details later..."

"But you say the Tenga escaped?" Vert asked.

"Yeah, they did, that Dogoo Man tossed me into Nisa so she couldn't shoot them down," Peach explained. "So even if we caught the bear, they still accomplished their mission..."

"You did what you could," Vert assured her. "Make sure Tekken knows how much we appreciate her helping out..."

"I'll do that," came the reply. "Staff Sergeant Macintosh out."

"...So this Ho-Hum's purpose is to test you for a real threat?" Urusei mused. "Have things been peaceful here long enough that some might fear you're becoming complacent?"

"Not in Leanbox, they haven't," Vert shook her head. "We had to deal with a literal Demon Lord trying to conquer my nation recently... and one of her former subordinates now works for these villains."

"I had to recently deal with a vampire trying to envelop my nation in eternal night," Noire added. "Thankfully we managed to nip that plot in the bud with help from Rei Ryghts..."

"I assume you stumbled upon this plot when Rei Ryghts was handling a court case in your nation?" Neon guessed.

"Bingo," Noire nodded. "Anyway, it's all over and done with now..." Just then her phone rang. "Hold on... hello? Uni, what's up? ...say WHAT?!"

"What is it this time?" Asseylum asked worriedly.

"Okay, thanks for letting me know. Don't do anything before I get there!" Hanging up, she explained, "There was just a Neptube video uploaded showing Underling and Warechu mocking me in two of my cosplay outfits! I have to go teach them a lesson!"

"Whoa, whoa, hold on!" Neptune cut in. "Doesn't this sorta thing scream 'trap' to you?! It would for me!"

"It could also be meant to be a distraction for a more sinister plot," Vert added.

"So what would you suggest I do then?!" Noire demanded with a visible blood vein.

"Leave Underling to me and Nep Jr!" Neptune declared with a smile. "She won't be expecting us to show up, not to mention, we're not as emotionally invested in your cosplay stuff, so we can keep our heads clear and our eyes peeled for any traps she might try to spring on us!"

"Except last time, you fell right into her trap anyway," Histoire pointed out.

"But we managed to free ourselves by transforming," Nepgear countered.

"Right, so this time we'll confront her in HDD right away!" Neptune said with a confident smile. "You'll let us handle this one, right Noire?"

"...oh, all right," Noire conceded. "Just- try not to destroy my costumes if possible. And make sure Uni and K-Sha stay on guard in case it _does_ turn out to be another distraction."

"Rightcha!" Neptune nodded. "So, Haruhi, if you can warp us over to the Lastation Basilicom..."

"No problem," the Animenga goddess agreed, taking Neptune and Nepgear's hands. "You guys'll be fine without me for a while, right?"

"I'm sure we can manage, Ma'nabatea," Urusei assured her.

"Alright, off we go, then!" Haruhi exclaimed, she and the Planeptune sisters vanishing in a flash of light.

_*Lastation Basilicom*_

"We're here~!" Neptune announced as she, Nepgear, and Haruhi appeared next to Uni and K-Sha.

"Wait, Nepgear?! And Neptune, too?" Uni realized.

"Where's Noire at?" K-Sha sounded mildly disappointed.

"We came in her stead, to try and catch Underling off guard," Nepgear explained. "So where's the video Underling sent?"

"Right here," Uni turned to the computer, pulling up the video in question. It showed Linda and Warechu taunting Noire, the former dressed in an outfit resembling Ereshkigal from _Fate/Grand Order,_ while Warechu's head poked out the top of a costume invoking the image of a cloaked ronin. The height that Warechu's head was from the ground made it clear he was standing on top of someone else hidden inside the costume...

"Betcha whoever Warechu's standing on is part of the trap they're hoping to spring on us," Neptune observed.

"It's impossible to tell who it might be," Nepgear concurred.

"That Ereshkigal costume is one of Noire's favorites," Uni stated. "She was really proud of it... do you think there's anyway you can get that costume off her without destroying it?"

"Hey, as long as you bring it back semi-intact, I can fix it up," Haruhi pointed out. "In the meantime, Noire says the rest of us need to stay on guard in case this is just a distraction..."

"Right, I understand," Uni nodded.

"We won't allow anyone to sneak past us again!" K-Sha promised. "I know a thing or two about stealth myself, after all!"

"Alright then, we're off!" Neptune exclaimed, she and Nepgear promptly transforming and flying out the open window...

_*Lastation City, Back Alleys*_

_(Music- 'Boss Theme 1', Sonic 4 Episode I)_

"Whooooa, easy there, chu!" Warechu cried as he wobbled around atop his comrade in the ronin costume. "I really hope that CPU shows up soon, chu...!"

"She will, there's no way she could resist getting her costumes back," Linda stated. "But will we have a surprise waiting for her!" Just then a sudden gust of wind knocked her hat off! "Huh...? What was tha-" She yelped as she suddenly felt a slight cutting sensation, screaming in shock as the rest of her costume split apart and fell to the ground, leaving her in nothing but her bra and panties! _"What the hell?!_ Who did that?!"

"We did!" Underling and Warechu looked up to see Purple Heart and Purple Sister, their blades at the ready!

_"Hey!_ You're not Black Heart, chu! What's the meaning of this?!" Warechu gasped in shock.

"Obviously, we came in her stead," Purple Heart said bluntly. "As you can see, we learn from our mistakes, Underling!"

"So you two better give up if you know what's good for you!" Nepgear added.

"As if!" Linda shot back, despite turning beet red with embarrassment at her near-nude state. "Citrus, you're up!"

"OK, Punk Lady!" a young voice said from inside the ronin costume which was promptly thrown off (along with Warechu), revealing a very familiar face. "Ta-da! Pea's here!"

_"Peashy?!"_ the two goddesses cried in disbelief.

"Surprise, suckers!" Underling chuckled. "Citrus here is gonna give you some _exercise!"_

"That's right! Mom-Us says you're getting fat and lazy, Neptuna! That's no good, so Pea's gonna fight you until you're not lazy anymore!" With that the five-year-old was engulfed in a pillar of light, transforming to Yellow Heart!

_(Music- 'Boss Theme 2', Sonic 4 Episode I)_

Purple Heart and Purple Sister cried out in surprise as they barely dodged Yellow Heart's charge! Undeterred, the blonde CPU whipped around and lashed out with her claws, the Planeptune duo barely parrying her attacks!

"Come on, Warechu, we're outta here!" Linda said as she grabbed the cloak from the ronin costume and wrapped it around herself.

"Right behind ya, chu!" Warechu agreed as the two beat a hasty retreat down the alley!

"Come back- _agh!_" Nepgear cried as Yellow Heart blocked her path, hastily dodging several slashes from her opponent! "S-stop it, Peashy! You're being a bad girl!"

"Nuh-uh, _you're_ a bad girl for bein' lazy!" Yellow Heart retorted. "So Yellow's gonna give you a work-out!"

"Oh, why is this happening again?!" Purple Sister lamented as she retreated to her sister's side. "I'm getting horrible flashbacks from the Ultradimension...!"

"This isn't like Eden," Purple Heart assured her. "Peashy's tough, but she's not a hopeless boss fight this time. We can win if we work together!"

"Here I come, Neptuna~!" Yellow Heart squealed as she flew at them...

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

Overlord Momus felt his mobile device vibrate, swiftly answering. "Yes, Underling #3? ...what? Neptune and Nepgear?! Ah, I see, Citrus is handling them... well, hurry back to base so you can get a fresh change of clothes!" Hanging up, he called, "Dr. Pop!"

"You rang?" MAGES. walked up.

"Neptune and Nepgear are currently away from Planeptune. Have you worked out the kinks in your hijacking code yet?"

"I believe I have. Shall we make our move then?"

"Yes! Let us show these aliens how vulnerable they are, and how unprepared the CPUs are to deal with a true threat!"

"At once, Overlord Momus!" MAGES. made a beeline for the computer...

_*At the Deucalion...*_

"It looks like somebody attempted to remotely hijack the operating systems," the technician examining Wing Gundam's robot reported.

"How is that possible?" Wing inquired. "We're on an alien planet, our code shouldn't even be compatible..." Just then he heard movement, looking up... but his robot hadn't budged. Another noise caused him and the technician to shift their gazes to G Gundam's unattended robot, which suddenly began moving of it's own accord! "What the hell?! Did someone sneak on board?!"

"No one's in the cockpit!" another technician confirmed. "It's another remote hijacking!" The giant robot's hand glowed with power, allowing it to melt a hole in the hatch, then tear open a hole large enough for it to escape through!

_"Mayday! Mayday!_ G Gundam's unit has been hacked!" the first technician radioed to the bridge. "Request permission to launch Wing Gundam's unit to intercept!"

"Granted! We'll contact G Gundam and the princess at once!" came the reply.

"Roger that! Here I go!" Wing said as he swiftly climbed up to his own cockpit, getting inside and powering up his robot. "This is Wing, ready to launch!" The access hatch promptly opened, Wing's robot rocketing out and pursuing after it's hijacked counterpart!

_*To be continued...*_

Oh noes! Ho-Hum has made their move to wreak havoc in Planeptune! Will Wing be able to intercept? Will the other CPUs be able to stop G's robot without Neptune? Or will Planeptune City be razed to the ground?! Find out next time!


	33. Chapter 32- Hijacked Gundam!

This chapter was taking WAY too long, so I found a spot to split it up!

And now, finally... ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 32- Hijacked Gundam!

_*Planeptune Basilicom*_

_"Deucalion to G Gundam! Come in, G Gundam!"_ A distressed voice sounded from G Gundam's hip!

Pressing her belt buckle, the brunette answered. "Copy, _Deucalion!_ What's the sitrep?"

_"Your unit's been remotely hijacked!"_ came the reply. _"It's heading toward the city! Wing is moving to intercept as we speak!"_

"What the hell?!" Blanc cried in shock. "I thought your damn robots couldn't be hacked by us!"

"But... w-what about that witch that ended up in our territory?!" Asseylum pointed out.

"MAGES.?!" Vert realized. "But- why would she do such a thing?!"

"We can figure that out later!" Noire insisted. "Right now, we have to protect the people in Neptune's stead!"

"I will offer my assistance as well," Neon said.

"I'll go get Uzume and Dragon Ball!" John ran off.

"Wait!" Histoire called after him. "I could easily contact Uzume myself... oh, he's already gone."

"If I were a bit younger, I'd try to help, too..." Urusei lamented.

"You can help get everyone else to the basement, then!" Noire suggested.

"Well, let's get this damn show on the road already!" Blanc cried, heading off to find a window where they could transform and fly through...

_*In the skies above Planeptune City...*_

Fortunately, the worst G Gundam's robot had done so far was punch random holes in high-rises, occasionally dropping to street level to crush parked vehicles underfoot...

"This is Wing! I have visual contact!" Wing Gundam said as he rocketed toward's the other robot's position. "It's causing all kinds of property damage... no confirmation of civilian casualties yet."

"Try to disable it without destroying it outright!" the _Deucalion's_ captain radioed back. "The technicians are working on trying to disable the hacker's control!"

"Roger that!" Wing acknowledged. "Engaging rogue robot!" His mecha pulled the trigger on it's machine gun, pelting G Gundam's robot with a hail of bullets! While they caused no discernible damage, they did get the robot's attention, rising into the air as it turned to face it's counterpart. (This won't be easy... G specifically had her robot made to put a stop to mine if I ever snapped or got brainwashed...) But whoever was controlling the robot now _wasn't_ G, and therefore likely had little idea of it's full capabilities...

But they did know one of it's most dangerous abilities, it's right hand glowing brightly as it charged Wing, only for the pilot to expertly weave out of it's path! Again, Wing opened fire, but once more the large bullets ricocheted off with little effect... (Dammit, this isn't working!) he thought in frustration, as G's robot turned to face him again-

-only to be suddenly assaulted by several pointed green energy projectiles! Wing's rearview camera revealed the perpetrator- an extremely busty green-haired woman with mechanical wings and a spear in hand! (Goddess Green Heart!) Wing realized, seeing White Heart and Black Heart joining her as well.

"Looks like we made it in time," Black Heart observed.

"It appears there is only moderate property damage so far," Neon said as she joined the CPUs in her true angelic form. Her ears then perked up as Wing started talking from his robot's external speakers in a language incomprehensible to all but herself...

"What the hell is he saying?!" White Heart demanded.

"He says to try and attack from behind, it's a blind spot for whoever's hijacking it!" Neon translated, moderating her volume so the robot couldn't hear. "He'll try to keep it occupied!"

"Got it!" White Heart promptly flying around and downward, slamming her axe into small of the robot's back, leaving a visible scratch! "Damn, figures this wouldn't be easy..." Black Heart then came in a slashed a few times with her own oversized blade, but she only left scratches on the hull as well!

"Tell me, can you do anything other than your force field?" Green Heart inquired to Neon as they flew behind the robot.

"I can!" the angelic alien nodded, holding out her right hand and gathering power... "Lady Blanc, Lady Noire, get clear!" The two CPUs promptly flew out of harm's way as Neon let loose with a cross-shaped energy blast, nailing G Gundam's robot dead-on, causing it to pitch forward and get slammed by an uppercut from Wing's robot! The enemy robot promptly launched into the air, turning to face Neon...

"I think you got it's attention!" Green Heart noted as the giant robot flew at them, she and Neon barely flying out of the line of fire!

_"Watch out when it's hand glows!"_ Wing called to them. _"It goes through titanium like a hot knife through butter!"_

"Understood!" Green Heart nodded, watching as G's robot turned and flew at her again... _"Sylhet Spear!"_ The giant lance hit the robot in it's upper left arm, causing it to spiral out of control and crash into the side of a high rise!

"Watch it, Vert!" White Heart yelled. "There's innocent people in these buildings!"

"I know that, but we don't have much room to maneuver!" Green Heart shouted back as the robot righted itself, leaving a sizable dent in the building it had slammed into.

"I know how to get it out of the city!" Dragon Ball cried as she flew onto the scene in Super Saiyan form. "But, we need to keep it busy for a minute, Uzume's getting into position as we speak! Then I can use my Instant Transmission to warp it out of here!"

"An excellent idea!" Green Heart nodded. "But, I think we can go one better! Could you warp to Neptune and little Nepgear first, and see if you can get Haruhi as well? And then tell them this..."

_*Speaking of Neptune and Nepgear...*_

_"UWAAAAAAHHHH!"_ Peashy cried, having reverted to her child form, tears gushing out of her eyes as Purple Heart spanked her repeatedly! "Pea's sorryyyyy!"

"This is what you get for being a bad girl!" Purple Heart scolded her, a few claw marks visible on her body, one of her twin braids having been chopped in half. Meanwhile, Nepgear was kneeling nearby, having reverted to normal herself, down on one knee and panting heavily, her sailor uniform torn in a few spots. After a few more smacks, Purple Heart set Peashy back on her feet. "Now say sorry to Nepgear!"

"P-Pea's sorry, Gear...!" Peashy sobbed, nursing her sore rear end.

"Apology... accepted..." Nepgear gave a small nod, grateful for her healing magic... those claw slashes had _hurt,_ even if Yellow Heart was no longer powered by infinite Shares from Eden... But then she screamed in surprise as Dragon Ball abruptly appeared before her! "W-what the goodness! Don't scare me like that, DB!"

"Sorry about that," Dragon Ball muttered, turning to Purple Heart. "Lady Neptune, we have an emergency situation in your nation..." She then explained what happened...

"G Gundam's giant robot was hijacked?!" Nepgear gasped in disbelief. "B-but how is that even possible?!"

"Ah, now I see," Purple Heart noted grimly. "Underling sicced P-ko here on us as a distraction... it must be Ho-Hum behind the hijacking!"

"Huh?!" Peashy gasped. "B-but... Pea didn't know that! Pea had no idea!" She looked about to burst into tears again, only for Neptune to grab her in a reassuring embrace.

"It's not your fault, P-ko," Purple Heart insisted. "That punk lady tricked you, she's the one at fault here, _not_ you..."

"If it makes you feel any better, Peashy, Rom was also used by Underling as her minion for a short while, until we freed her," Nepgear said.

"Anyway, Nepgear, Lady Vert said something about you having a giant robot of your own?" Dragon Ball asked.

"Uh... well, yeah, I do, but it's in Leanbox right now!" Nepgear explained. "There's no way we could get it back to Planeptune in time!"

"Lady Li- (ahem) Lady Haruhi can take care of that," Dragon Ball insisted. "So, I'll take you back to Lastation Basilica..."

"Basilicom."

"R-right, and then I'll head back to Planeptune alone..." DB then jerked her head up. "Oops, that Uzume's signal, she's in position! We need to get moving, grab my hand!"

"I wanna come too! Pwease?" Peashy pleaded. "I wanna see the giant robot!"

"...Alright, but you stay right next to me, okay P-ko?" Purple Heart instructed.

"Okay, Neptuna!" Peashy nodded as the three grabbed onto Dragon Ball, the group promptly teleporting away...

_*To be continued...*_

So, a good chunk of the next part is already done, just need motivation to keep going! Please review and let me know what you think so far!


	34. Chapter 33- Takes One To Beat One!

Took a while to figure out the fight scene...

Anyway, ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 33- Takes One To Beat One!

_*Back in Planeptune...*_

"This isn't working!" Black Heart growled in frustration, "we're only causing scratch damage at best!"

"Dammit, why do giant robots always have to be near invincible to anything that's not another giant robot or kaiju?!" White Heart complained as her axe bounced off the G Gundam's robot's shoulder with no effect.

"At least this machine isn't agile enough to hit targets as small as us," Green Heart mused as she easily dodged another swipe from the robot.

"If only we could utilize our NEXT forms...!" Black Heart grunted. "But we can't risk collateral damage to the city...!" Just then, Dragon Ball reappeared nearby! "Dragon Ball! Is Uzume in position?!"

"She is! Everyone, grab onto the robot!" DB instructed.

"Roger that!" Wing Gundam obeyed, managing to grab G Gundam's robot from behind in a full nelson! "Hurry up! I can't hold it forever!"

"Right!" Neon and the three CPUs grabbed onto the robot's body, Dragon Ball putting two fingers to her forehead before doing the same.

"Okay, here we go...!" DB said as she focused, the two robots glowing for a moment before abruptly vanishing into thin air...

_*In the large field outside the city...*_

"Uzume is so bored! What is Dragsy doing?" Orange Heart sighed as she floated a few feet above ground alone... before crying out in shock as the two giant robots suddenly appeared right above her! "Wow! Like, speak of the devil!"

"Ugh..." Dragon Ball groaned as her golden hair faded to black, descending to the ground. "That took almost everything outta me... the rest is up to you..."

"Uzume! Get DB outta here!" White Heart ordered. "We'll junk this robot now that we're out of the city!"

"Got it, Blansy!" Orange nodded as she grabbed Dragon Ball under her armpits and flew out of the danger zone.

"Argh!" Wing cried as the rogue robot's energized hand grabbed his robot's right shoulder, easily tearing the whole arm off! "If you're gonna do something, goddesses, now would be the time!"

"Right!" Black Heart nodded. "Vert, Blanc, let's do it!" The three CPUs raised their hands to the sky...

_(Music- 'Absolute', Megadimension Neptunia VII)_

"We call upon the power of the Hyper Share Crystal! _Access NEXT Form!"_ The trio promptly went through their transformation sequences, Noire now clad in a black body suit with a blue torso, huge armored gauntlets materializing on her arms, extra armor forming on her legs, new processor wings digitizing into existence as a headset with a scouter eyepiece also appeared! She then projected an energy blade from her right arm's gauntlet as the logo for Lastation appeared on her chest!

"Wow! Their power levels just went through the roof!" Dragon Ball gasped in awe.

"Go, Vertsy, Blansy, Noiresy! Blow that robot to bits!" Orange Heart cheered.

"I would prefer trying to disable it without destroying it outright," Neon stated.

"Guess that rules out our EXE Drives then," NEXT Black mused. "Let's try to confuse it by attacking from different angles!"

"Sounds good to me!" NEXT White nodded. _"Gefahrlichtern!"_ She launched several white projectiles at the robot's side, while NEXT Green flew to it's other side and invoked her _Inbetween Spear_ technique, hitting the mecha with pointed green energy projectiles!

_"Drop Crush!"_ NEXT Black intoned, her laser blade cutting into the left shoulder's armor, leaving a visible gash! "Looks like we're finally making some progress!" But then she and the other CPUs were suddenly repulsed by an energy shockwave emanating from the robot's body! But then Neon Evangelion flew in and hit G's robot with a cross blast to the face, snapping it's head back!

"This is Wing, I'm going in!" Wing's robot flew in close, cocking back it's remaining arm and punching it's counterpart where Noire had slashed the shoulder, the gash now widening to a large crack! But then G Gundam's robot struck back with it's energized hand, easily piercing through the chest armor! "Damn it! Detach Core Fighter!" The legs and hips of Wing's robot promptly detached and fell to the ground, the cockpit detaching soon after and extending wings, flying away just before the rest of the robot exploded! "Sorry, goddesses, I can't help you anymore!"

"Get clear, Wing Gundam! We can handle things from here!" NEXT Black ordered.

"Roger that, retreating!" The Core Fighter promptly jetted off into the distance, safely out of range.

Neon's head then jerked up, as if listening to someone... "...yes, Ma'nabatea, understood!" She then called to the others, "Lady Neptune and Nepgear are on their way! We need only hold out a little longer!"

"Right!" NEXT Green nodded. "Blanc, let's focus our attacks on the right shoulder!"

"Got it, Vert!" NEXT White as she flew up high into the air, then let gravity do it's thing, reaching terminal velocity as she readied her axe... _"Getter Ravine!"_ Bring her axe down with all her might, the Lowee CPU succeeded in cracking the right shoulder's armor! "You're up, Thunder Tits!"

_"Sylhet Spear!"_ NEXT Green called, the giant lance striking the crack left by Blanc, the force causing about half of the shoulder pauldron to fall off and crash to the ground! The giant robot attempted to strike back with lasers fired from it's chest cavity, but Vert was far too fast for the robot to aim properly! NEXT Black then struck the robot's head with a double footed kick, causing it to pitch forward slightly!

"Here they come!" Neon cried, a large portal opening up in the sky, a familiar sight descending from it feet first...

_(Music- 'Go Go Power Rangers (Instrumental)'- Power Rangers Redux)_

"What the hell?" NEXT White gasped in disbelief. "Is that... the Nepgeardam?! When'd it get so damn big?!"

"It's the Nepgeardam 2.0!" NEXT Green clarified. "It helped Peach and the others several times during the Demon Lord's invasion!"

"Thank goodness, we made it in time!" Nepgear's voice called from within the Nepgeardam. "Is everyone all right?"

"Except for Wing Gundam's robot, we're all fine!" NEXT Green called back. "Who's helping you pilot?"

"Me, of course!" Neptune's voice answered. "Like you'd leave the main character out of a major fight like this!"

"I'm here too!" Uni's voice called next.

"Noire, I'm here to help as well!" said K-Sha.

"I'm helping them pilot too!" said Haruhi. "Peashy's not big enough to reach the panel, so..."

"Wait, little Peashy is with you?!" Vert's eyes shrank to circles.

"That's right, Bert!" Peashy spoke up. "Watch us beat up the bad robot!"

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"The Nepgeardam 2.0!" MAGES. realized. "But how?! I thought it was still in Leanbox!"

"The alien goddess must have warped it to Planeptune!" Overlord Momus deduced. "I underestimated their resourcefulness...!"

"I have to go all-out if I'm to have any hope of prevailing!" MAGES. grunted as she started furiously typing at the keyboard...

_*Back on the battlefield...*_

"Watch out for it's hand!" NEXT Black cried as G's robot charged, it's hand glowing brightly!

"Deploy Nep-Shield!" Nepgear pressed a button, the large shield digitizing into existence. The enemy robot slammed into the shield, pushing on it with it's glowing hand, which began to melt through!

"Step back and to the right!" Uni said, she and K-Sha moving the legs to get Nepgeardam out of the way, the enemy robot pitching forward, but managing to catch itself on its hands and knees. It then quickly launched into the air to try and get out of range, only to get hit with another _Inbetween Spear_ from NEXT Green, NEXT White also bashing it on the head with her axe, leaving a sizable dent!

"K-Sha, Uni, bend the legs, then snap them straight!" Nepgear ordered. "Neptune, Haruhi, get ready to grab!"

"Rightcha!" "Okay!" The Nepgeardam crouched down before springing into the air, it's hands reaching up and grabbing the enemy robot's legs! As they came down to earth, the arms swung down, slamming the other robot into the field, leaving a sizable crater!

"Ah, the old 'jump, grab, slam,'" NEXT Green chuckled. "Works every time..."

"Nepgear, we broke off the shoulder armor, you should be able to take it's arms off!" NEXT Black yelled.

"Okay, Noire! I know what to do! Charging eye-lasers!" Nepgear exclaimed, watching as the enemy robot climbed back to its feet. "Locking onto the shoulders... FIRE!" Twin lasers shot from the Nepgeardam's monitor, striking the robot's exposed joints, causing both of it's arms to break off and crash to the ground!

"It's no good! I've lost the arms!" MAGES. cried in dismay.

"Then attack with the legs!" Momus advised. The Mad Magician did as ordered, jumping and hitting the Nepgeardam with a roundhouse kick, the pilots (and Peashy) screaming as their robot fell on its side!

"Dammit! These hijackers don't know when to give up!" NEXT White growled in frustration.

"Uzume! Try disrupting it with your megaphone!" NEXT Green called to Orange Heart.

"OK, Vertsy! Orange Heart to the rescue!"

"I'll help too!" Dragon Ball said as she took to the air again. "I'm still a bit weak, but I can do this!" Flying in front of the robot, she waved her hands over her face! _"Taiyoken!"_ Immediately the area was filled with light, blinding almost everyone present!

"Dammit, warn us next time before you do that!" Blanc complained, blinking several times.

_**"Dream Roar!"**_ Orange Heart screamed through her megaphone, disorienting the robot with a massive sound wave, buying Nepgear and co. enough time to right the Nepgeardam!

"I've lost visual and audio! I'm completely blind!" MAGES. cried in distress.

"Now, little Nepgear! Finish it off!" Vert cried.

"You got it!" Nepgear nodded, locking on onto the enemy robot's legs... "FIRE!" The twin lasers lashed out again, this time blowing the legs off, the robot's torso crashing to the ground before falling on its back! Before it could try anything else, the Nepgeardam pinned it down with its foot, putting its hands on its hips in a victory pose!

_(Neptunia Victory Jingle!)_

"Yay! Victory for Nepgeardam~!" Orange Heart cheered, the others breathing a sigh of relief.

"Take that, you bad robot!" Peashy taunted.

"Wing to _Deucalion._ G Gundam's robot has been neutralized," Wing radioed from his Core Fighter, which had been watching the action from afar.

_"Roger that, Wing. Are you all right?"_

"I'm fine, but my robot is going to need major repairs, and G's robot will need its limbs reattached..."

_"Copy that, we'll send the recovery teams momentarily. But for now, return to base."_

"Roger that."

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"And... that's it. I'm dead in the water," MAGES. sighed. "Well played, Nepgear... Shutting down." She promptly killed the uplink, the monitor going dark. "I have failed you again, Overlord Momus..."

"No, you did quite well," Momus shook his head. "This should serve as a brutal wake-up call to the CPUs, if nothing else..."

"But if Citrus is with them, won't they make her tell them where we are, meow?" BlackGatomon pointed out.

"No worries, I anticipated this contingency," Momus assured her. "Dr. Pop, contact all other members and inform them that we are abandoning this base effective immediately... Tell them to meet up at W-2 base."

"Understood," MAGES. nodded grimly, calling up the radio link...

_*To be continued...*_

Phew, finally got this done! But what other plans will Overlord Momus have in store for the CPUs? Until next time, review!


	35. Chapter 34- Robot Battle Aftermath

Time for a breather after that hard battle...

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 34- Robot Battle Aftermath

_*Planeptune City*_

_"Hello, everyone!"_ Orange Heart called over her megaphone, she and the other three HDD CPUs flying before the Nepgeardam 2.0 as it plodded through the streets. _"Thanks to Gearsy's Nepgeardam, the evil giant robot is now a giant pile of scrap! Three cheers for Nepgeardam!"_

_"Hip hip hooray!"_ the NPC civilians cheered in joy and relief upon hearing the news.

"Still, if word of this gets back to the Vers Emperor, he's not gonna be happy about this..." Haruhi muttered from inside the Nepgeardam, Neon having joined the group and reverted to her human guise.

"Well, hopefully Princess Asseylum can convince her father not to do anything rash," Nepgear suggested.

"Yeah, but who expected those Ho-Hum guys would be capable of hijacking alien technology?" Neptune pointed out.

"Pea's sorry, Neptuna! Pea didn't think they were bad guys...!" Peashy cried, a few tears trickling down her cheeks. "Pea thought they just wanted you to stop being lazy! That's what Mom-Us said...!"

"Hey, hey, calm down, P-ko," Neptune left her console to wrap Peashy in a reassuring hug. "Look, once we get back, you can tell us what you know about these guys, and we'll call that good enough, OK?"

"O-okay..." Peashy sniffled, burying her head in Neptune's shoulder.

_*Planeptune Basilicom*_

"Welcome back, everyone," Histoire greeted as the party entered. "It seems you've managed to emerge victorious..."

"Yeah, I just got the call from _Deucalion,"_ G Gundam said. "Thanks for not completely destroying my mecha..."

"Thank goodness... oh, I see a few new faces," Asseylum observed. "Would you mind introducing yourselves, please?"

"I'm Pea! Er, Peashy," Peashy exclaimed. "I'm a CPU from another dee-men-shun that helps and loves Neptuna! ...though Pea messed up big time just now..."

"I'm Uni, Noire's sister and CPU Candidate of Lastation."

"K-Sha of Gold Third. I'm Noire's best friend~!"

"Uni, K-Sha, good work helping Neptune and Nepgear," Noire acknowledged with a nod, she and the others having reverted to normal. "By the way, Neptune, did you get my clothes back?"

"Got 'em right here!" Haruhi pulled the two cosplay costumes from hammerspace. "I fixed 'em up good as new for you!"

"Oh, so you got Lady Noire's costumes back, that's wonderful," Asseylum said with a smile.

"Yeah, you shoulda seen the look on that Underling's face when we stripped her naked!" Neptune laughed. "I wish I coulda taken a picture...!"

"Hmm, we could probably say that's karma for stripping my Oracle and bodyguard naked," Vert observed with a smirk.

"But they escaped again?" Noire couldn't help but ask.

"It's Pea's fault! Pea got tricked into helping bad guys!" Peashy shouted. "Pea's really sorry to everyone...!"

"Wait, so that means...YOU were Citrus?!" Vert gasped.

"Uh-huh," Peashy nodded sadly. "Neptuna spanked me for that... she says that Pea has to tell you all about the bad guys!"

"I kinda doubt she could tell us anything that we don't already know," Blanc muttered.

"But Pea knows where the base is!" Peashy asserted.

"Ah...!" Vert gasped in realization. "Yes, that's right! If little Peashy was working with them, she knows the location of their headquarters...!"

"K-Sha, see if you can get a hold of the other Gold Third members!" Noire ordered. "We're gonna need all the help we can get when we storm their base!"

"Okay, Noire!" K-Sha nodded, taking out her phone.

"In the meantime, we should take a little time to relax," Haruhi suggested. "I'm sure everyone's a bit winded after all that craziness!"

"R & R sounds good to me!" Neptune agreed enthusiastically.

"Well, in that case, do you have one of your books on hand, Lady Blanc?" Asseylum requested.

"Eh, I'll have to go back to my Basilicom to get one," Blanc demurred. "Think you could help me with that, Haruhi?"

"Sure thing!" the alien goddess nodded. "Actually... hey, Mikuru, can you come here for a second?"

"EH?" Mikuru squeaked. "W-w-what for...?"

"Relax, I'm not gonna dress you in one of Noire's costumes or anything," Haruhi assured her.

"You better not," John Smith growled, "or I might have to sock you again..."

"Hey, hey, no need for violence, Kyon. I just wanna ask her and Blanc something real quick..."

"O-okay..." Mikuru nodded, timidly making her way over to the two goddesses. The three then separated themselves from the group, conversing in hushed tones...

"I wonder what Ma'nabatea could want from Mikuru and Lady Blanc..." Asseylum pondered.

"You never know with her..." Urusei Yatsura shrugged. The three then seemed to nod in agreement, Haruhi and Blanc vanishing soon after, leaving Mikuru standing alone. "So, what did she want?"

"W-well..." Mikuru turned to face them with a small smile, everyone doing a double-take upon seeing that her chest was now the size of Blanc's...

_*Lowee Basilicom*_

"I'm home!" Blanc called as she and Haruhi walked through the door. "Ugh, I feel like I want to fall forward all the time...!"

"Getting some extra weight throws off your balance, huh?" Haruhi ribbed. "Hey there, Rom, Ram!"

"Hiya, Haruhi!" Ram greeted as she and Rom ran up... but upon seeing Blanc, or rather her _ample_ bosom, she gasped in shock before screaming, "That's not Big Sis! GET HER!" Blanc cried out in surprise as the twins roughly tackled her to the ground! "Who are you and what did you do with Blanc?!"

"If you little shits don't get the hell off me this instant, I'll paddle your asses so hard you won't sit for _three months!"_ Blanc yelled, her face shadowed with one angry red eye glowing.

_"Ahh!_ It is Big Sis!" Rom realized, quickly scrambling off Blanc. "O-only she would have a potty mouth like that...!"

"S-sorry!" Ram apologized as she got off her older sister. "But, what happened to your chest...?!" Indeed, the sight of a busty Blanc would be enough to make anyone think she was a fake...

"I happened, of course," Haruhi stated smugly. "I swapped her chest with one of the princess' retainer's chests for a while!"

"O-oh, I see... s-so it's not permanent," Rom nodded.

"Good thing, too!" Ram said. "I remember seeing that vision of you with a big rack when we were trying to save you from Kurome, and you were really stuck-up about it!"

"Y-you saw that?!" Blanc sweat-dropped. "W-well, I want to see the look on Vert's face when she sees this! *Ahem* Anyway, since you're here, could one of you go get a copy of one of my books? That alien princess wanted to take a look..."

"She's gonna regret it," Ram deadpanned.

"I-I'll go get one!" Rom nodded. "And I'll make sure it has a princess in it!" She quickly turned and ran off.

"Blanny, is that you?" another voice called. "I thought you were still in Planeptune..." A busty brunette dressed in blue, with a matching beret entered the room, stopping and doing a double-take upon seeing Blanc's assets. "W-what the?!"

"She did it," Blanc pointed to Haruhi. "Haruhi, this is C-Sha, the leader of Gold Third. C-Sha, this is Haruhi Suzumiya, goddess of the Animenga Star Cluster."

"No need to bow or cower or anything like that," Haruhi appended.

"Oh yeah, I remember seeing you on the Box News broadcast," C-Sha realized. "So, making Blanny busty is one of your pranks?"

"Something like that," Haruhi nodded. "Though all affected parties agreed to it beforehand this time."

"She switched my chest with one of the other aliens," Blanc clarified. "So what do you think?"

C-Sha bit her lip for a moment... "Well, don't take this the wrong way, Blanny... but I liked you better flat." A low piano chord sounded as Blanc went as white as her namesake. "I mean, I'm just so used to you being petite and cute... Blanc with a big chest almost feels like violating the laws of the universe or something."

"Says the one who has a sizable rack herself," Haruhi shot back.

"Y-yeah, but at least she doesn't rub my face in it like Thunder Tits does..." Blanc grunted with her head bowed. "I mean, figuratively speaking. Anyway, did K-Sha contact you yet?"

"Yeah, she did," C-Sha nodded. "We all agreed to meet up tomorrow to help you storm the bad guys' base of operations... even S-Sha agreed that they've gone too far with hijacking an alien giant robot. Sounds like she regrets letting Dogoo Man join with them..."

"Can we help, too?" Ram pleaded.

"Of course you can," Blanc nodded. "Just as long as you two follow my lead, okay?"

Just then, Rom came back with a book in hand. "Here you go!" She handed it to Haruhi.

"Thanks Rom!" Haruhi said with a smile. "Alright, Blanc, let's head back now..."

"Make sure Big Sis has her flat chest back by tomorrow!" Ram called as the two teleported away.

_*Back at Planeptune Basilicom...*_

Princess Asseylum sat on the floor, laughing uncontrollably as she looked through Blanc's book, having fallen on her rear end from the intensity of her laughter... Mikuru giggled a bit as well, as she read over Asseylum's shoulder.

"Well, at least you can say she's enjoying it in _some_ fashion..." Vert muttered, unable to take her eyes off Blanc's ample chest. "But still, to see you with actual assets... it just seems _wrong,_ somehow..."

"You're just upset that you can't tease me anymore," Blanc shot back. "But to be fair, my sisters didn't exactly approve either..."

"Well, at least Haruhi asked for permission this time before pulling this stunt," John Smith sighed.

"Hey, I learn from my mistakes!" Haruhi insisted. "But, you know, that's another reason I took Neon as my Oracle... having slept for so long, I didn't know what behaviors humans would consider 'acceptable' for a goddess..."

"I do my best to keep milady on her best behavior, pranks notwithstanding," Neon acknowledged.

"I'm back!" G Gundam said as she and Nepgear walked into the room, the former now dressed in a loose lilac t-shirt and black exercise shorts with purple highlights. "Um, why is Her Highness laughing so hard?"

"She thinks my book is damn hilarious," Blanc deadpanned, her eye twitching slightly. "Even though that's not what I intended when I wrote that one..."

"Well, hey, maybe you could try marketing this book to their star cluster, they might find it as funny as the princess does!" Neptune suggested facetiously. Immediately Blanc was standing before her with her trademark angry-face. "Eh-heh... o-or not."

"Well, even if it wasn't what Blanc intended, at least they'd sell, right?" Noire piled on, only for Blanc to teleport in front of her, now brandishing her hammer. "Geez, learn to take a joke!" she sweat-dropped.

"Behave, Blanc, or I'll take away your chest early!" Haruhi chastised. The Lowee CPU promptly put her hammer away and marched to the corner of the room where she sat down and sulked. "That's a little better."

"Anyway, G Gundam, I would like you to contact your maintenance crew at the _Deucalion,_ and instruct them to hold off on repairs to both your and Wing Gundam's mechas for the time being," Neon instructed. "We do not wish to take any chances that they might be remotely hijacked again..."

"Good point!" G Gundam nodded. "I'll tell them it's a decree from the Oracle herself!"

"Let's just hope they don't try to hack little Nepgear's Nepgeardam," Vert pointed out.

"No worries, Vert! My Nepgeardam 2.0 has the very latest in anti-hacking measures installed!" Nepgear proclaimed. "Even MAGES. wouldn't able to crack that protection! Well, maybe she could, but it'd take a while, and it would set off alarms, anyway..."

"Speaking of which, what about the fact that MAGES. was likely the one behind this hijacking?" Noire spoke up. "Which means she's likely been recruited into the House of Humiliation by this Overlord Momus!"

"Yes, that is quite concerning," Vert nodded grimly. "She may be a bit eccentric, but MAGES. is not an opponent to be taken lightly... Demon Lord Etna's minions found that out the hard way."

"Don't worry, Pea will take care of Witch Lady!" Peashy proclaimed. "Imma fly at her so fast, she won't be able to use magic! Pow! Whack! Bam!"

"I'm not so sure that would work..." Uni sweat-dropped.

"An ambush would probably work better," K-Sha nodded. "Maybe I could lend her one of my boxes for her to hide under..."

"Ooh, hide and seek! Pea likes that!" Peashy exclaimed with a grin.

"I think it would depend on the type of battlefield we confront her on, though..." Uni mused. "It wouldn't work in an open field, but if we confront her inside the base, we might pull it off..."

"Well, how about we go to another room and discuss strategy for the raid tomorrow?" Noire suggested. "If only so I don't have to hear Princess Hyena over there..." Indeed, Asseylum was still laughing vociferously as she continued reading Blanc's book...

"Just as long as it remains primarily a Gamindustri party operation," Vert said. "Given Ho-Hum's stated objectives, we don't want them calling us hypocrites by relying on the aliens for help..."

"That's part of the reason I suggested the Gold Third help us out," Noire said in response.

"Well, we do have some high-end hoverbikes used for covering ground quickly, if that would help," G Gundam proposed.

"I'd be fine with that," K-Sha nodded. "I can ride a bicycle, so a hoverbike shouldn't be a problem... B-Sha can ride with me, since I'm the next smallest after her."

"Well, while you guys discuss strategy, how 'bout the rest of us go play some video games?" Neptune suggested.

"Okay, but no racing games this time!" Haruhi insisted.

"Well, how about an old fighting game featuring furry characters?" Nepgear ventured. "It's kinda slapstick, so it'll be funny even if you lose..."

"Might work for blowing off some steam," Blanc muttered as she stood up.

"I have no objection to that," Neon nodded.

"I'm fine with it too," John Smith concurred.

"Pea wants to play too!" Peashy insisted.

"Okay, then! Off to the gaming room!" Neptune proclaimed, Nepgear, Peashy, Haruhi, John, Neon and Blanc following after...

_*To be continued...*_

Next, the attack on the Ho-Hum base! But what will they find when they get there? Find out next time!


	36. Chapter 35- Raid on the Base (Fake)

Here's a new chapter! Another Ho-Hum member's identity is revealed here...

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 35- Raid on the Base (Fake)

_*Ho-Hum HQ*_

"Are the defensive measures set?" Overlord Momus inquired.

"All set, sir!" Generic Soldier #20 saluted. "Those CPUs won't have an easy time getting in the front door!"

"Good. We don't want them to realize we've already left until they've gotten inside," Momus nodded. "Speaking of which... Dr. Pop, how are your preparations going?"

"It is going well!" MAGES. nodded, typing at the terminal. "All I ask is that you not rush my genius! I am confident we will be ready before the CPUs arrive..."

Momus nodded at this. "I'll leave you to it then, Dr. Pop." Turning back to Soldier #20, he noticed that the man's shoulders were slumped. "Something troubling you?"

"...It's Citrus, sir," Soldier #20 replied. "I was the one who recruited her into this outfit in the first place... Now that she's with Lady Neptune, I fear it's only a matter of time before I'm outed..."

Momus placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. "You know that I didn't force you into this... it was your choice. You remember what you told me back then?"

"Right... that Lady Vert seemed to just lapse into outright sloth after Etna and Lilithmon were defeated... it was a struggle for Peach to even get her to go outside..."

"And that concerned you greatly," Momus finished. "After all, relaxing after such a hard struggle is logical... but Vert took it to the extreme, at least from your point of view. But you knew what the potential consequences were by joining me..."

"Yes sir," Soldier #20 nodded. "I've made my choice... and now I have to deal with the fallout. Even if it means losing everything I love..."

"I'm sure if you explain yourself honestly to Vert, she'll understand," Momus assured him. "Her bodyguard may be another matter, however... Anyway, for now, I need you to go with BlackGatomon and her entourage. You're the one I trust most to keep her in line..."

"Wilco, sir," the armored man saluted, before turning and leaving...

_*Planeptune Basilicom, the next day...*_

"So according to what Peashy told us, the House of Humiliation's home base is here," Vert pointed on a virtual map of Gamindustri. "An abandoned base right nearby where the Gamindustri Graveyard once was..."

"If I remember correctly, the Guild meant to use that as an outpost to spy on ASIC's activities," Histoire recalled. "But then CFW Judge happened upon them, and..."

"They were wiped out to the last man," IF finished. "Or so I heard, anyway. And since the Deity of Sin was destroyed once and for all, there was no need for that facility anymore, anyway..."

Zooming in on the facility, Noire noted, "It looks like a wide open field by the base entrance... there'll be no chance of approaching without being detected."

"I have to agree with Noire here," K-Sha nodded grimly. "And stealth is something I'm really good at..."

"Looks we've got no choice but to attack head-on, then," C-Sha suggested. "So here's what I'm thinking: Myself and the rest of Gold Third will go in first on hover-bike, and draw the enemy's fire... then you guys can fly in and destroy the outer defenses, allowing us to get inside..."

"That seems awfully risky," Princess Asseylum spoke up.

"No worries! We Gold Third can transform, too!" B-Sha exclaimed. "Presto Mask can handle anything the bad guys throw at her!"

"So can Pea!" Peashy cried. "Pea kinda knows what the inside looks like, so Pea can show where Mom-Us is! And then you can spank him for being a bad guy!"

"That's good, P-ko, but you should stay close to us so we don't get separated and lost, 'kay?" Neptune said.

"Okay, Neptuna!"

"I assume she can transform and fight as well?" Asseylum asked.

"Yep, yep! Pea can show you right now! TRANSFORM!" A pillar of light engulfed Peashy, fading to reveal the extremely busty form of Yellow Heart. "Ta-da!"

"H...huh?!" Asseylum's eyes shrank to pinpricks at the sight of Yellow's I-cups. "A-are those real?!"

"Oh yeah, they're real, alright," Haruhi commented as she stood off to the side. "I was just as shocked as you were..." She glanced over at Blanc, who seemed to be glaring at Yellow Heart with mild contempt. "Miss your big chest already, huh?"

"Don't rub it in, alien," Blanc growled as she crossed her arms over her once-again-flat bosom.

"Um, getting back to the strategy meeting..." Nepgear cut in. "Maybe Neptune could use her jet-fighter form to help blast apart the enemy turrets once Gold Third draws their fire?"

"Sweet idea, Nep Jr!" Neptune smiled widely. "I should've thought of that!"

"Yes, you should have," Histoire noted with a sigh. "If we're in agreement on the initial assault, then we should prepare to head out to the enemy's stronghold... it will take about three hours to get there, even with the Deucalion's hover-bikes..."

"Well, I could warp you to the edge of the field, if you want..." Haruhi offered.

"I'm down with that!" Neptune agreed.

"We still need a few minutes to get ready, though," Noire pointed out.

"Yeah, K-Sha and I need to make sure are guns are loaded and working properly," Uni concurred.

"This is why Rom and I do magic instead," Ram snarked. "You don't gotta reload a magic wand..."

"Ram, behave," Blanc chastised.

"Well, just let me know when you're ready to head out..." Haruhi stated.

_*Soon, outside Ho-Hum HQ...*_

"This is C-Sha, we're ready to head in on your mark," C-Sha said over the hover-bike's radio link, S-Sha riding to her right while K-Sha and B-Sha sat on a bike together on her other side, with K-Sha driving.

"Understood, move forward on Nepgear's signal," Purple Heart replied.

"Alright, move in on the word 'go'," Purple Sister spoke. "On your mark... get set... _GO!"_ The Gold Third immediately sped off, riding closely together as they approached the base... but then several guns began opening fire on the group!

"Disperse! Evasive maneuvers!" C-Sha ordered, the other two bikes breaking off in opposite directions!

"Hold on, B-Sha!" K-Sha yelled as they swerved to try and avoid the hail of bullets and lasers. "If you fall off, you'll be a sitting duck!"

Meanwhile, S-Sha was speeding forward on her hoverbike, only for a laser shot to land a direct hit! "Oh, _damn it!"_ she screamed as she jumped and tumbled off just before it exploded! Wiping dirt off her face, she muttered, "I knew I should've ridden a Chocobo instead..." Fortunately, before the guns could fill her with holes, a good number of them were taken out by a missile barrage, courtesy of Purple Heart's jet-fighter form! Green Heart flew closely behind, using an _Inbetween Spear_ to disable even more turrets!

"This is K-Sha, I'm going in!" K-Sha cried as she revved her bike, popping a wheelie and speeding toward the robot sentry guarding the main entrance!

"I'm gonna fall!" B-Sha screamed.

"Go ahead and jump now!" K-Sha shouted back, B-Sha promptly letting go and tumbling over the field! K-Sha then jumped off herself, rolling to dissipate momentum as the bike kept going, crashing into the sentry and taking out it's legs in the process! Wasting no time, K-Sha got up and equipped her machine guns, firing and blasting the rest of the robot to scrap! "Sentry neutralized! B-Sha, are you okay?"

"I'm kinda dizzy..." B-Sha groaned as she stumbled to her friend's side.

"Good work, K-Sha!" C-Sha said as she pulled up on her bike. "Green Heart's retrieving S-Sha as we speak. Don't worry, she's all right..."

"Have no fear, Yellow Heart's here!" Peashy's HDD form flew onto the scene. "OK! Now I'll show you where Momus is!" Without waiting for a reply, Yellow promptly slashed the steel doors and pulled them open, heading inside!

"This is C-Sha, heading in with B-Sha, K-Sha and Peashy!" C-Sha radioed before dismounting her bike, she and her two comrades following Yellow Heart inside...

_*Inside Ho-Hum HQ*_

_"Intruder alert. Internal defenses activated,"_ a computerized voice spoke, several humanoid robots promptly confronting Yellow Heart and the others!

"Get outta Yellow's way!" Yellow Heart cried as she started slashing the robots apart with her claws! B-Sha blew one to shrapnel with her bazooka while K-Sha downed the rest with her machine guns!

"P-ko, where are you?!" Purple Heart's voice echoed behind the group... "Oh, there you are. I told you not to go too far ahead!"

"I didn't! I stayed with K,C, and B-Sha!" Yellow Heart insisted.

"We just took out the vanguard," C-Sha said. "But it's probably gonna get harder from here on..."

"Then we should wait for the others to catch up first," Purple Heart suggested.

"But what if Momus and the other bad guys get away?!" Yellow cried in distress.

"Better to regroup in case of an ambush," K-Sha pointed out. Fortunately, it didn't take long for the other CPUs (and S-Sha) to join up with them, the party then proceeding deeper into the base...

"I don't like this," Black Sister muttered as they followed Yellow Heart down a hallway. "It's almost too quiet..."

"Peashy, be sure to peek around the corner before you turn," Green Heart called out.

"I know, Bert!" Yellow called back, stopping and slowly peeking around into an intersection. "Don't see anything, come on!" She gestured as she went down the left hallway, the others quickly following...

But as they emerged into a larger room, an unpleasant sight greeted them! "KILLACHINE!" Black Heart cried.

_"Hit the deck!"_ C-Sha cried, she and others diving to the floor as the Killachine opened fire on the group! "Gold Third, transform!"

"Right!" the other three replied as they assumed their Gold Forms! B-Sha fired a bazooka round at the Killachine, the explosion knocking it off-balance slightly! K-Sha then followed up with her Twinbits, blasting the robot with energy waves and massive lasers!

"Don't leave me out!" Black Sister said as she flew above, firing an _EX Multi Blaster_ at the Killachine, causing a small explosion!

"Did we get it?" Yellow Heart asked. Her question was swiftly answered as the Killachine suddenly charged forth from the smoke, scattering the party!

"Dammit, these things are just as tough as I remember!" White Heart growled as she bashed the Killachine's backside with her axe, causing a dent! "Rom, Ram, try to draw it's attention!"

"Right, Big Sis!" The two White Sisters conjured a large ice crystal that was sent flying at the Killachine, which promptly blasted it into so many shards! However, this gave Green Heart time to strike with a _Purpurascens Burst,_ cracking the outer armor significantly!

"My turn! _Giant Sword Dance!"_ C-Sha cried, brandishing a spiked stone blade and slashing the Killachine horizontally, then then following with an overhead slash, causing sparks to fly from the robot's chassis! "I think we've almost got it!"

"Then I'll finish it! _Bits Combination!"_ Purple Sister intoned, summoning two drones that blasted the Killachine with purple lasers from every direction, Nepgear then flying in and finishing with a stab with her laser blade, the Killachine finally blowing apart in a fiery explosion! "And that's a wrap!"

"Nice work, Nepgear!" Purple Heart complimented.

"Pfft, I didn't even get to do anything!" Black Heart lamented.

"Nor did I, but I'm not complaining about it," S-Sha stated. "But you would think we would have come across Dogoo Man by now, or that rogue soldier..."

"Hey, that's right! We've only seen robots so far!" B-Sha realized. "Don't tell me we got punked by these guys... I'll have to charge extra if that's the case!"

"B-but, I know this is the base!" Yellow Heart insisted, sweating. "See? Right there is the computer that Witch Lady was using!" The group turned, and sure enough, there was an inactive terminal with an external hard drive hooked up to it.

"Not exactly a high-end piece of hardware," Green Heart observed.

"Wait a minute..." White Heart said as she looked over the hard drive. "This is MY hard drive! What the hell were these bastards using it for?!"

"Most likely laughing themselves silly at your unfinished manuscripts," Black Heart snarked.

"Care to repeat that, bitch?!" White Heart growled with one red eye glowing. But before a fight could break out between the CPUs, the terminal suddenly powered on! "What the hell-?!" The party focused on the screen, which soon booted up an image of a shadowed figure with small horns and a single orange eye with a slit pupil!

"Greetings, CPUs and their companions," the shadow man spoke. "My name is Overlord Momus, head of the House of Humiliation, or Ho-Hum for short. Of course, if you've gotten this far, then you've probably already surmised that whom you seek is no longer here. Indeed, we have retreated to our auxiliary base, as I predicted that Citrus would inform you of where we were located. Just so we're clear, I have treated your precious Peashy with nothing but kindness..."

"That's why I thought he wasn't a bad guy..." Yellow Heart said sadly.

"Now, if you're intending to turn this abandoned base upside down looking for clues to our current location, I can already tell you that is an exercise in futility," Momus continued. "However, this hard drive left here is of no further use to us, so you may have it back, Lady Blanc..."

"Gee, thanks a lot, asshole," White Heart deadpanned.

"You're welcome," Momus responded. "Yes, you really are that predictable, Blanc. Speaking of predictable, you have two minutes, starting... now." the screen then blipped out, after which a klaxon began blaring as the lights went red!

_"Time bomb set. Escape immediately,"_ a computerized voice spoke again.

"It's a trap! Everyone run for your lives!" B-Sha cried in panic, running away with Yellow Heart swiftly following!

"Retreat, retreat!" K-Sha yelled as she also fled, with C-Sha and S-Sha close behind!

"Dammit to hell! You ripped that off one of my games, didn't you?!" White Heart growled as she forcibly unplugged her hard drive, tucking it under one arm as she and the other goddesses got the hell out of dodge...

_*Back outside...*_

The party watched from a safe distance as the former Ho-Hum headquarters imploded on itself, leaving nothing but a pile of scrap metal and rubble. "Guess that's mission failed, huh?" K-Sha noted sadly.

"I'm sorry, Neptuna! I didn't know it was a trap!" Yellow Heart cried on the verge of tears.

"It's not your fault, P-ko," Purple Heart shook her head. "Overlord Momus obviously planned well in advance for you turning on him and leading us here..."

"That's right, Peashy, you couldn't have known," Green Heart concurred. "So please don't cry..."

"How did a kid like you get mixed up with these guys, anyway?" S-Sha inquired.

"Umm..." Yellow thought for a moment. "W-well, it was Mr. Adrian that introduced me to Momus... that's also why I didn't think they were bad guys..."

"Wait, did you say Adrian?!" Green Heart gasped.

"As in First-Class Petty Officer Adrian Harold Johns?!" Black Heart's eyes went wide. _"He's_ with these guys?!"

"He must be Generic Soldier #20!" White Heart deduced.

"W-wait, _what?!_ It was Peach's boyfriend that tried to kill me?!" Black Sister's eyes shrank to white circles.

"B-but why would he try to kill Uni?!" K-Sha asked. "And what's Miss Peach going to think about this?!"

"...Vert, if you need help breaking the bad news to Big Peashy, I will be glad to assist you," Purple Heart offered.

"Y-yes, that would be a big help," Green Heart sweat-dropped. "I can't imagine what chaos and destruction might ensue when she hears about this..."

"I'll come too!" Yellow Heart jumped in. "I still don't think Mr. Adrian's a bad guy! He probably just got tricked by Momus like I was!"

"I highly doubt it's that simple..." Green Heart sighed.

_*And so, the next day...*_

There was a knock at the door of Peach's apartment. "Coming!" She quickly went to the door and opened it... "L-Lady Vert? Little sister... and Neptuna?! W-what's going on...?!"

"You might wanna sit down for this, Big Peashy..." Neptune sighed.

"Pea's sorry about this, Big Sister..." Peashy said with her head bowed.

A few minutes later, in Peach Macintosh's brain, high rises crumbled to the ground, fires raged through the forests and fields, the sun and stars went supernova all at once before collapsing into a massive black hole of despair...

**"AAAAAADRIIIIAAAANNNNN!"**

_*To be continued...*_

Dang, poor Peach... Hopefully she's strong enough (mentally) to come back from this... But the question remains, where has Ho-Hum gone off to? And what will they try next? Until next time, review!


	37. Chapter 36- What To Do Next

Next chapter, GO!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 36- What To Do Next

"So it went badly, huh?" Noire said over the conference call between herself, Vert and Blanc. The CPUs and Candidates had mostly returned to their respective nations for the time being, to guard against any more sneak attacks by Ho-Hum.

"Poor Peach is inconsolable right now," Vert sighed forlornly. "Neptune and little Peashy are staying with her for the time being, so she doesn't go completely to pieces..."

"That's another thing that bastard Momus will have to answer for," Blanc growled. "Anyway, forensics finished going through my hard drive... they didn't find anything other than that video file of Momus and the self-destruct subroutine attached to it. They made a copy of the video to see if they can deduce anything about that bastard's identity..."

"Somehow I doubt it," Noire said. "These guys seem to be pretty good at covering their tracks... the only reason we found their first base is because Peashy told us, even if it seemed rather obvious in hindsight..."

"Well, I have a detachment of Lowee Army soldiers conducting an extensive search of the surrounding area," Blanc stated. "Might as well make those lazy bums get off their asses and do something..."

"Maybe after Peach recovers, she can retrain your soldiers like she did mine," Noire suggested. "As far as the aliens, sounds like the _Deucalion_ is returning to low orbit for now, just in case MAGES. tries to hack the ship itself..."

"But Princess Asseylum and her retainers are remaining on the surface," Vert appended. "Though Haruhi and Neon are sticking close by them, just to be safe... I'm sure this goes without saying, but we won't know where the House of Humiliation will decide to strike next, although we might have bought some time by forcing them to abandon their first base... so we all need to stay on guard."

"Right," Blanc nodded.

"And I need to get my cosplay costumes back as well!" Noire said, causing the other two to sweat-drop.

"Are you sure they didn't burn up when the first base self-destructed?" Blanc pointed out.

"D-don't say that!" Noire squeaked, her eyes shrinking to circles. "A-at least allow me to hold on to hope, here...!"

"Blanc, maybe you could have your soldiers pick through the ruins and see if they find any clothes, just to be sure," Vert suggested.

"Fine, I'll let them know," Blanc sighed. "Just be grateful I'm willing to stick my neck out for you, Noire!"

"Of course," Noire nodded, before a wicked idea came to her. "You know, once you get past the shock factor, you really did look good with big breasts, Blanc... maybe even better than Vert!"

"WHAT?!" Vert's eyes shrank to circles in shock. "That's-! Noire, you-! How could you even suggest such a thing?! ...Blanc, stop laughing! I do NOT find this amusing!"

_*Peach's Apartment*_

Neptune yawned as she roused, picking herself up off the couch and shaking her head to get the cobwebs out. Once she was fully awake, she made her way to Peach's bedroom to check on her...

And stopped short at the sight. Peach was laying on her covers, still dressed in yesterday's clothes, her arm wrapped around little Peashy, who was nuzzled into her shoulder. While there were tear-streaks on the older blonde's face, she now sported a small smile, no doubt due to cuddling with her 'sister'. Unable to resist, Neptune took out her phone and took a few pictures of the sleeping duo...

But then she was interrupted as her phone vibrated, the screen showing an incoming call. (Uh-oh, it's Nep Jr.) Quickly and quietly Neptune left the bedroom, walking out into the hallway before answering the phone. "Morning, Nep Jr! What's up?"

"Good morning, Neptune," Nepgear greeted. "So how's Peashy? The older one, I mean."

"Eh, a little better. She's sleeping with P-ko right now. Anything going on back home I should know about?"

"Well, I just checked Chirper... it seems there's quite a few people who think Asseylum and the other aliens don't really come in peace," Nepgear worried. "They think they were just testing our defenses for an upcoming invasion..."

"OK, first of all, you know that Chirper only represents a small portion of the general population, right?" Neptune pointed out. "I made the same mistake too, before Histy pointed that fact out to me..."

"Why am I not surprised?" Nepgear sighed in a slightly facetious tone.

"Seriously, though, you wanna calm the people's fears? Hold a press conference with the princess and have her speak to them directly. And make sure you get the point across that it was the bad guys that caused the kerfuffle, not the aliens."

"Okay... that sounds like a good idea," Nepgear said. "I'll get Histoire and Asseylum and get things set up right away! ...um, but I do hope you can come back home soon..."

"As soon as Big Peashy can stand on her feet again," Neptune stated. "Bye for now, Nep Jr! Love ya!"

"Love you too, Neptune," Nepgear said before hanging up.

"Neptuna... what's going on...?" Neptune whirled around to see Peach standing at the door, her hair out of it's usual ponytail.

"Just talking with Nep Jr," the CPU responded. "You holdin' up okay?"

"Not really," Peach sighed, leaning heavily on the door frame. "I can't... what would push Adrian to do something like this?! Little Peashy thinks he was tricked, but Adrian's not stupid..."

"Okay, first, let's get inside and sit down," Neptune said, guiding Peach back inside and closing the door, the two then sitting down on the couch. "Now, you remember what Kuma said about these Ho-Hum guys?"

"Yeah, I was the one who interrogated him..." Peach nodded. "He said they're just trying to keep you guys on your toes in case a more dangerous threat comes around..."

"Right, well, was Vert like, gettin' really lazy after that Demon Lord was sent packing?" Neptune queried.

Peach's head lifted up slightly at hearing that. "Now that you mention it... it was a bit of a struggle to even get her to go outside, before all this craziness started... I did complain about it to Adrian a few times... y-you think that's why-?!"

"Could be," Neptune shrugged. "Not to mention, that evil kitty cat we beat down alongside Etna is part of that group too... maybe he's sticking around to keep an eye on her, so she doesn't hijack the villain role like Pig-on from the Legend of Hilda series..."

"Ugh..." Peach grimaced as she looked down at the floor. "Geez, I didn't even think of that... stupid C-grade average brain!" She smacked herself on the head with both hands. "Why do I have to be so stupid sometimes?!"

"Don't say that!" another voice spoke up, Peach and Neptune turning to see little Peashy standing there with a pout on her face. "Big Sis isn't dumb! Pea is dumb, because Pea can't get any bigger than five years old! At least Big Sister is all growed up! You can live by yourself, you can go to a job... Pea can't do any of that!"

"Um, P-ko, being a CPU is kinda your job..." Neptune said in response. "Heck, you could say Mini-Histy is your boss, 'cause she makes sure you and Plutie don't slack off too much!"

"So Histoire is _your_ boss, then?" Peach ribbed.

"Um, yeah, I guess..." Neptune ducked her head. "A-anyway, aren't kinda going off the rails here? We were talking about why your boyfriend's with the bad guys..."

"Like Pea said, Mr. Adrian got tricked!" Peashy insisted. "It's not your fault, Big Sis!"

"I-I know, I know," Peach sighed as she got up, walking over to Peashy and lifting her up in her arms. "Actually, Neptuna just said that he joined because Vert got too lazy..."

"That's what Mom-Us said about Neptuna!" Peashy gasped in realization. "See?! That proves Mr. Adrian was tricked!"

"Right, right, point taken, P-ko," Neptune cut in. "Anyhow, now that we're all up, how 'bout we go get some breakfast?"

"A light breakfast," Peach insisted. "I'm the only one with money, and I probably have just enough to pay for three _normal-sized_ stomachs..."

"Pea doesn't eat that much!" Peashy protested.

"I think she's referring to me, P-ko," Neptune shook her head. "Just get me a high-calorie breakfast sandwich, then... that'll hold me over 'til I get back home."

"Pea wants eggs and toast! Over-easy!" Peashy exclaimed.

"Alright, off to the nearest fast-food joint, then..." Peach affirmed.

_*Ho-Hum W-2 Base*_

"Dammit, I'm freezing my ass off here!" Underling complained, her jacket zipped up as she shivered with her arms crossed. "Can't we get some heat going in here?!"

"I agree, chu!" Warechu said he sat on a chair with tiny icicles on his whiskers.

"Dr. Pop is working on that as we speak," Overlord Momus shot back. "I don't like this any more than you, but there are only so many abandoned bases or outposts that we can use... beggars can't be choosers."

"I kn-kn-know th-that all t-too well," Tenten Ryghts said through chattering teeth, dressed in one of Noire's thicker costumes to try and stay warm.

"I think my muscles are starting to freeze!" Dogoo Man grunted. "Maybe I should go outside for a jog or something!"

"Wait, I have an idea," Momus snapped his fingers. "Linda, Warechu, Dogoo Man, I have an assignment for you, in Lastation..."

"Anywhere is better than here!" Linda snapped. "So what do we do?"

"I'll tell you once the author ends the chapter..." Momus' single eye looked out of your screen...

_*To be continued...*_

V_V I swear, I get no respect these days... oh well, read and review.


	38. Chapter 37- Pressers and Food Fights

I'm on a roll with these new chapters!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 37- Pressers and Food Fights

_*Outside Planeptune Basilicom*_

"Hey, what time is it?"

"1:25 PM or so..."

"What's taking them so long?! This presser was supposed to start at 1 PM sharp!"

"These things _never_ start on time, you know that... oh wait, here they come!"

"About time!"

The crowd of reporters and cameramen watched as Nepgear, Histoire, Neon Evangelion and Princess Asseylum walked up to the microphones, Nepgear and Neon clothed in modest formal dresses. "Hello, everyone," Nepgear greeted. "Neptune is still away on important business, but she'll be back soon enough. Anyway, I wanted to talk with you today about the recent battle in this city involving two giant robot mechas, and my Nepgeardam 2.0. Basically, the battle started when one of the _Deucalion's-_ that is, the alien ship's- mechas was remotely hijacked, most likely by the House of Humiliation, while Neptune and I were dealing with a minor incident in Lastation in Noire's stead. The other mecha flew to intercept the hijacked mecha before it could devastate the city, and thanks to help from the aliens, we were able to warp the mechas out of the city and limit damage to the infrastructure, as well as civilian casualties."

"Unfortunately, the one mecha was destroyed by the hijacked robot, necessitating the alien goddess Haruhi warping my Nepgeardam 2.0 over from Leanbox in order to stop it for good, which we did. As a result, the _Deucalion_ has returned to low orbit above Gamindustri for the time being, in order to preclude any further hijacking attempts by the House of Humiliation. And now, I'll let Princess Asseylum of Vers explain further." With that, Nepgear stepped back, Asseylum coming up to the microphone.

"Ahem... greetings, denizens of Planeptune. I am Princess Asseylum Aldnoah Zero of the Vers Empire, hailing from the Animenga Star Cluster. I'm sure many of you have seen the broadcast of our arrival here, and I assure you that we have come in peace. When Ma'nabatea- that is, Lady Haruhi- informed us of the satellite they had found, we traced it's flight path back to this world, and I determined that we should try and establish diplomatic ties with the rulers here," she nodded toward Nepgear.

"However, my father- the Vers Emperor- was extremely concerned about my taking such a risky and dangerous expedition, so it was determined that Lady Haruhi's Oracle, who is standing behind me," she gestured towards Neon, "would travel to this world first to determine what the civilization was like, and if it was safe to travel here, with Lady Haruhi herself following not long after. However, after no contact for a week, I made the decision to go forward with the expedition, though the emperor insisted on a military escort, thus it was determined that the battlecruiser _Deucalion_ would be used for the expedition, along with two giant robot mechas, whose pilots I trust unconditionally. I feel I must stress, we have_ only_ come to establish diplomatic ties, we are _not_ here to conquer. And I made that clear to my father, who has acquiesced to my wishes. And I apologize from the bottom of my heart for the damage this battle has done to your magnificent city... this was never our intent for something like this to happen."

"That being said," Nepgear stepped forward again, "we do have a possible suspect in the hijacking incident. Histoire, if you would please." Histoire nodded, fiddling with some holographic controls, bringing up a 2D hologram of a certain Mad Magician's face. "This is MAGES., also known as the Mad Magician. She is the younger cousin of 5pb., the famous Leanbox musician. She has extensive knowledge not only of magic, but of technology as well. As to why we suspect her, I'll let Princess Asseylum explain."

"Thank you," Asseylum acknowledged, before beginning, "You see, it turns out that Mages- sorry, I mean, MAGES. had come to the Vers Empire a few months prior to the satellite interception via transporter accident, though we did not realize she came from this world until recently. During her stay, she became quite familiar with our technology, and in fact helped make vast improvements to our own transport capabilities, which was instrumental in allowing our ship to make the journey here to Gamindustri. However, we failed to anticipate that she would use this knowledge of our technology against us when we arrived here proper... while I can't speak to her motivations, the fact she is not entirely mentally stable, as least from my experience, might have played a factor in her decision to hijack one of our mechas."

"Anyway, if you have any information about MAGES.' current whereabouts, we encourage you to contact the Basilicom, or the Basilicoms in the other nations immediately," Nepgear instructed. "I feel the need to stress, she is unpredictable and extremely dangerous with her knowledge of magic. I should know, because I've worked with her in the past, during the incident with Rei Ryghts and the Ultradimension. And now, we'll take some questions."

"How do you know that MAGES. is working for the House of Humiliation?" a reporter asked. "Isn't it possible that she was acting on her own?"

"Well, we don't know for certain, but the fact that hijacking occurred while Neptune and I were away is quite suspicious," Nepgear answered. "And the incident that Neptune and I were dealing with in Lastation was definitely Ho-Hum's doing."

"Why not let Lady Noire handle incidents in Lastation?"

"We suspected it was a trap for Noire," Nepgear expounded, "so Neptune and I went instead to catch Underling and Warechu off-guard. For what it's worth, it worked, though those two criminals are still at large..."

"Doesn't your repeated failure to capture any of these terrorists reflect badly on you goddesses?" another reporter asked pointedly.

"That's not true," Nepgear replied firmly. "We've already captured two of their operatives, one is in custody in Leanbox, and the other is cooperating with us. That's how we found out where their initial base of operations was, though it seems their leader anticipated this turn of events and abandoned the base."

"Who is the leader?" a different reporter jumped in.

"We don't know his identity, but he calls himself by the moniker 'Overlord Momus'..." A chorus of groans arose from the crowd. "I know, Neptune had the same reaction. Anyway, according to forensic analysis of the video he left for us in the abandoned base, which was just provided to us by Lowee law enforcement, Momus is either male or a flat-chested female with a slight build, measuring just under 5 feet in height. He wears small horns on his head and a mask with a large single orange eye with a slit pupil. Just to reiterate, the eye is fake, he likely wears it to appear more intimidating. Again, if anyone has any information, please contact the Basilicom immediately..."

"What about the giant robots' pilots?"

"I'll take this one," Asseylum stepped forward again. "G Gundam is the pilot of the mecha that was remotely hijacked, and she was quite distraught that it was used to wreak havoc in this city. As for the other pilot, Wing Gundam, his robot was badly damaged and rendered inoperable, though he was able to eject and escape without injury. He is currently undergoing medical evaluation on board _Deucalion_ as we speak, while G Gundam has elected to remain on the surface with me and my retainers for the time being."

"Your Highness, while I'm sure you love your father very much and vice versa," another reporter began, "are you certain that he isn't using this expedition as a pretext for conquest?"

Asseylum's brow furrowed at this. "I assure you, my father has _never_ deceived me in a such a manner, and I highly doubt that he would do so now. The enemies that you should be worried about at the moment are the terrorists of this House of Humiliation!"

"I have a question for the alien Oracle," a reporter spoke up. "How come your goddess is not here to talk with us today? Is there a reason for that?"

Neon stepped up to the microphone, adjusting it slightly before replying, "To be blunt, milady has only just gained knowledge of your native language, and feared that she would say something that would be misinterpreted. It has happened before... however, I am more careful in my choice of words, and am not prone to such misstatements."

"If the House of Humiliation's stated goal is to harass the CPUs, then why would they target you and your fellow aliens?"

"Most likely, they see us as a threat to their plans," Neon answered, "which may also explain why they recruited MAGES., as she has knowledge of our technology and culture. Also, they may not believe that we truly come in peace, as some of you have postulated, though that could not be further from the truth. While I cannot speak for the Vers Emperor, I assure you that neither I or Lady Haruhi have malevolent intentions..."

Nepgear glanced over at Histoire, who was making a slashing motion across her throat. "Well, that's all for today, everyone! We'll keep you informed on any developments in this conflict! Goodbye for now!" With that, the group retreated into the Basilicom, ignoring several other shouted questions by the reporters.

_*Meanwhile, in rural Lastation...*_

The NPC truck driver hummed to himself as he drove down the country road, his refrigerated truck filled with foodstuffs discarded by local restaurants... he was glad to have a job that entailed doing good for the community, distributing food to the local homeless shelters and soup kitchens...

Just then, something caught his eye, seeing a large rodent in the middle of the road! Immediately he braked and swerved to avoid the critter, only for his truck to hit something else and come to a dead stop, the back end lifting up slightly from inertia! "What the-?!" the driver gasped, seeing a muscleman with a Dogoo's head holding his truck in place...

Then the driver's side door opened, Underling confronting the man with a large handgun, a bandanna masking her face! _"Freeze!_ This is a hold up! Keep your hands where I can see 'em!"

"I-I don't have any money!" the driver cried in panic.

"We don't want your money! Put the truck in park!" The NPC did as ordered, only to be grabbed and roughly tossed out of the truck, tumbling over the asphalt! "Warechu, Dogoo Man, get in!"

"Okay!" "Right-chu!" The two co-criminals obeyed, getting in the cab and buckling up!

"Wait a minute!" the driver protested. "That food's for the homeless!"

"Well, they're going hungry today then!" Linda proclaimed, punctuating her statement with an evil laugh as she drove off, leaving the NPC stranded on the street...

_*Lastation City Streets*_

"Alright, keep your eyes peeled for large gatherings of people!" Linda instructed as she drove the food truck through the streets.

"There's a food joint with an outdoor patio, chu!" Warechu pointed. "And it looks really busy!"

"Alright, that'll work," Underling nodded, pulling the truck up next to said patio and parking. "Okay, Dogoo Man, you go first and open the back!"

"Right!" Dogoo Man nodded, exiting the cab, attracting a few curious glances from the customers as he went to the back and lifted the latch, the right back door swinging open. Climbing inside, he noted, "Oh yeah, there's a lot of ammo in here!"

"Warechu, you go first with whatever you can carry!" Underling said as she and Warechu got out and snuck around the other side. "Dogoo Man goes next, and I'll follow!"

"Got it, chu!" Warechu nodded, quickly scampering into the back of the truck... "Okay, this'll work!" Coming out with an orange, he threw it toward the patio, which bounced into a patron's soup, splashing it everywhere!

"Hey! What's the big idea?!" the NPC turned toward the truck in irritation.

"Free food!" Dogoo Man cried, throwing an aluminum tray full of pasta which splattered over several more customers!

"Courtesy of the House of Humiliation!" Linda proclaimed as she came into view, throwing another tray of food, causing people to scream and scatter as more and more food splattered over the patio, making a giant mess!

Unfortunately for the villains, one of the patrons happened to be an off-duty police officer, who unholstered his gun as soon as he cleared the line of food fire! _"Freeze! Police!"_

"It's a cop, chu!" Warechu cried in panic.

"Aw, crap!" Linda growled as she pulled her own gun, firing and striking the man in the leg, causing him to fall over in pain!

"You shot a policeman!" Dogoo Man cried in dismay.

"He'll live!" Underling retorted. "Time to abort mission! Let's get out of here!" The trio got back in the truck and peeled rubber, more food spilling out of the still-open back!

"Argh!" the off-duty cop groaned in pain as he pulled out his cell phone... "Hello? Officer needs assistance! I've been shot! The perps are are fleeing in a 'Hidden Food Harvest' truck...! A woman, a mouse, and a man with a Dogoo head...!"

_*A short while later...*_

"A food fight? Seriously?" Noire sighed as she looked over the crime scene. "We must have Ho-Hum on the back heel if they're resorting to petty plots like this..."

"It doesn't change the fact that one of our fellow officers was shot," the policeman next to her stated. "One of the perps, most likely Underling, had what appeared to be a modified Berreta 93R..."

"A Berretta 93R?!" Noire gasped. "That's the exact model of hand cannon that was stolen from Uni's gun vault! She's not gonna be happy about it being used to shoot a cop, even if it was in the leg...!"

"Lady Noire!" another officer ran up. "We found the stolen food truck abandoned a few miles away! Forensics is checking it over for evidence now..."

"Right, but we'll have to assume those guys are long gone by now," Noire said. "Contact the Hidden Food Harvest company and tell them to be on the lookout for more food truck hijackings!"

"At once, Lady Noire!"

_*Elsewhere...*_

"Yeah, so we had to vamoose when a cop showed up, but we still made quite a mess!" Linda said over the radio link.

"He wasn't wearing cop clothes!" Dogoo Man appended.

"An off-duty cop, then," Momus' voice responded. "Well, we'll just chalk that up to bad luck... Withdraw from Lastation for now, and head down to Leanbox..."

"I'm guessing that means you don't have the heat working at our base yet?" Linda deadpanned.

"Some parts need to be replaced," Momus confirmed. "I'm sending Generic Thief #11 to steal what we need from the nearest hardware store... But for now, you have your orders. Same as before."

"Roger that. Underling #3 out," Linda acknowledged, killing the radio link. "Let's go! Off to Leanbox!"

"Okay!" Warechu and Dogoo Man agreed.

_*To be continued...*_

Next time, more food fights! ;)


	39. Chapter 38- Here and There

This chapter's kinda all over the place, hence the title! :-P

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 38- Here and There and Everywhere

_*Hirool Beach, Leanbox*_

_"FOOD FIGHT!"_ Dogoo Man's voice echoed over the lake, a large pie hitting a sunbathing bikini beauty with an audible _'SPLUT!'_

"It's the House of Humiliation!" _"Run for your lives!"_ "I'm too young to pie!" Several beachgoers screamed as they tried to flee, the loose sand inhibiting their movements as several food items rained down around them!

"Oh, you don't get away that easy!" Dogoo Man proclaimed as he lifted up a large watermelon. **"Tactical nuke incoming!"** He heaved the watermelon into the air, Linda shooting it with her hand cannon, which caused the melon to explode, several pieces coming down all over the beach! No tourist was spared!

"Hahaha! Look at 'em run, chu!" Warechu laughed.

"Got any more melons, Dogoo Man?" Linda asked with a haughty smirk.

"One more!" Dogoo Man grunted as he lifted another melon, slightly smaller than the first. _"Heave-ho!"_ he cried as he hurled it over the beach...

-But before Linda could shoot this one, it was sliced in half by a large sword, the two halves falling harmlessly onto the sand! "That's enough, Dogoo Man!" the sword's owner yelled.

"Oh, crap! It's S-Sha of Gold Third, chu!" Warechu cried in panic.

"M-M-Mistress?!" Dogoo Man gasped in surprise. "W-what are _you_ doing here?"

"Putting a stop to your shenanigans," S-Sha replied matter-of-factly. Pointing at Linda she exclaimed, "Your stupid 'Ho-Hum' group went too far with hijacking the alien's robot mechas! I revoke my permission for Dogoo Man to join your group as of this moment!"

"B-b-but I had nothing to do with that, Mistress!" Dogoo Man stammered. "I-it was that D-Dr. Pop who did that, not me!"

"Silence, Dogoo Man!" S-Sha cut him off. "You get over here this- _Gah!"_ A rotten tomato suddenly splattered on her face!

"Bull's-eye!" Warechu pumped a tiny fist.

"Nice shot, Warechu!" Linda chuckled. "Let's get outta here!" She and the other two promptly jumped in the truck...

"I'll come back later, Mistress, I promise!" Dogoo Man called as they drove off.

"Come back here!" S-Sha yelled after them, to no avail...

Once they were on their way, Warechu asked, "So, why didn't you go back to S-Sha, chu?"

"Well, Overlord Momus treats me a bit better than Mistress does... He only hurts me when I fail," Dogoo Man explained. "I mean, I know you bad guys are gonna get beaten sooner or later, but I'm sticking with Momus for now!"

"That's how you engender loyalty," Linda nodded. "CFW Magic treated me pretty well too, until she went off the deep end..."

"So how come I never get treated well, chu? Is it because I'm a mouse?" Warechu inquired.

"No, it's because most of the time, you're useless!" Underling grumbled. "Anyway, let's find a spot to ditch this truck and go into hiding!"

"Okay!" "Right-chu!"

_*Ho-Hum W-2 Base*_

"Why am I the one doing this?!" Soldier #20 grunted as he worked on the heater's inner mechanisms. "I'm a soldier, not a mechanic!"

"Because you are the only real man on the team," MAGES. replied from her seat at the control panel. "Dogoo Man doesn't have the dexterity, and he'd be too large to fit in there anyway..."

"A-at least I g-got the p-parts f-for you," Tenten said through chattering teeth.

"Right, right..." Adrian sighed as he turned a wrench a few more times. "...okay, that should do it." Pulling himself out, he wiped his hands with a rag... "Let 'er rip, MAGES.!"

"So I shall!" The Mad Magician nodded as she pulled the on/off switch. The machinery began humming... only to shut down a few seconds later. "Oh dear..."

"Caww! Work you stupid thing!" a Tenga cried, kicking the heater. "OW! Ow owowowow...!" He hopped around on one foot, holding his injured talon in his wings... but it apparently did the trick, as the heater started up again!

"It's alive! _IT'S ALIVE! Fuahahahahaha!"_ MAGES. laughed in triumph. "Well done, Tenga! I'll know who to call on next time I require percussive maintenance done!"

"No problem..." the Tenga grunted, still nursing his injured talon.

"I can't believe we're on the same side as Red Grizzly, caww!" another Tenga said.

"Me neither," BlackGatomon grumbled nearby. "I'll bet you're just keeping an eye on us, aren't you?"

"Something like that," Adrian confirmed.

"As am I, seeing as I was the one who designed your power-limiter in the first place!" MAGES. appended. "After all, you've already gone behind Overlord Momus' back once..."

"Which resulted in that Keramon creature," Adrian said. "Speaking of which, where is Keramon?"

"I'll call it, meow," BlackGatomon rolled her eyes, before whistling sharply, summoning the Digimon in question... but upon becoming visible, the others realized that it now resembled a purple chrysalis with yellow eyes and eight limbs with pointed ends. "Oh, looks like eating all that MMO data made it evolve again... it's Chrysalimon now, meow."

"You _can_ still control that thing, right?" Adrian said, slightly intimidated.

"Of course I can," BlackGatomon sighed. "Even if it did rebel, this witch could probably stop it anyway..."

"I s-sure hope so..." Tenten shivered, though she wasn't sure if it was from cold or from fear...

_*Planeptune Basilicom*_

"So do we have to stay cooped up in here for the time being?" Princess Asseylum asked Nepgear.

"Well, you should stay with Haruhi at least," Nepgear suggested. "If she wants to like, warp you to another Basilicom, I won't object..." Just then, Haruhi herself walked into the room. "Oh, speak of the alien..."

"Hey, any of you seen Kyon anywhere?" Haruhi asked. "I haven't seen him since the news conference at least..."

"Oh dear, perhaps he got lost?" Asseylum pondered.

"Should we look for him?" G Gundam suggested.

"Right, let's split up. Mikuru, you go with Neon," Haruhi ordered. "Princess, you'll come with me. G, you go with Nepgear, Mrs Yatsura, you go find DB and Uzume and tell them to keep their eyes peeled."

"Okay," everyone agreed, splitting up to search different floors...

_*A few minutes later...*_

"Anyone find anything?" Haruhi said as the women regrouped.

"Sorry, we came up blank," Uzume lamented.

"We didn't find anything either," Nepgear sighed.

"Um, I f-found this..." Mikuru held up what appeared to be a DVD. "I-it says 'I Have John Smith'..."

"That doesn't sound good," Dragon Ball said.

"So where do we play this at?" Haruhi requested.

"Over here," Nepgear gestured, leading the group to another room where a DVD player was set up... Taking the disc from Mikuru, she placed it in the slot and hit 'Play', a holo-screen materializing, showing a familiar face... "Oh! It's that ice ninja from before!"

"Greetings, this is Generic Ninja #25," the man began. "If you've found this DVD, then you likely have already figured out what's happened..." The camera panned over, showing John Smith with his arms and legs splayed out, shackled to a circular piece of metal! On top of that, he had been stripped down to his underwear, a piece of duct tape over his mouth!

"KYON!" Haruhi cried in distress.

"Now, I _had_ considered kidnapping the alien princess," Ninja #25 continued, "but not only is that cliche as heck, she was too well protected anyway. So here's the deal: you have... oh, 45 minutes to locate us, or else nude pictures of this young man are distributed all over the Internep! To be fair, once you played this disc, it sends a signal here that starts the timer. Clock's ticking!"

"MMMMPH!" John Smith struggled futilely, just before the video ended.

"That's terrible!" Mikuru was the first to speak.

"E-excuse me, I need to get some ice water after seeing that nude boy," Urusei grunted, turning and exiting with her face slightly red.

"...Goddess CPU Candidate Nepgear." Haruhi turned to Nepgear, now wearing her seven-eyed mask, which seemed to freeze the CPU Candidate in place with a glare. "I assume that you will organize a rescue effort for Kyon immediately..."

"O-of course I will!" Nepgear nodded vigorously. "A-actually, if that DVD sent a signal to their hideout, I should be able to trace it!"

"Calm yourself, Ma'nabatea," Neon gently placed a hand on Haruhi's shoulder. "I am certain she will do all in her power to rescue him in time..."

"She had better," Haruhi growled as she turned and stomped out of the room...

_*To be continued...*_

Oh noes, Kyon's been kidnapped! Let's hope Nepgear and co. can rescue him before he gets displayed on porn sites all over Gamindustri, or spaghetti and meatballs raining from the sky will be the _least_ of Haruhi's wrath...!


	40. Chapter 39- Rescue Kyon!

'Rescue Kyon' operation is GO!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 39- Rescue Kyon!

_*Abandoned Apartment Building, Planeptune City*_

"This is the place," Nepgear said, looking down at her N-Gear. "Where I traced the signal to..." She was accompanied by Nepgya, Dragon Ball and Urusei in her battle bikini, Uzume having agreed to stay behind and hold down the fort.

"We should be careful, Master," Nepgya spoke up. "No doubt there's all kinds of cool ninja traps waiting to spring on us..."

"I've dealt with ninjas before," Dragon Ball stated.

"As have I," Urusei nodded. "And if any of those traps are electronic, my lighting will fry 'em right quick-tcha..."

"Alright, let's move in quietly," Nepgear said as she put away her N-Gear and equipped her laser blade...

"And let's hurry," Dragon Ball added, "it looks like Lady Haruhi's starting to get impatient..." Sure enough, as the martial artist pointed at the sky, it had become a swirl of rainbow technicolors! Already, some NPCs in the area were pointing at the sky in confusion...

"We still have 17 minutes left..." Urusei sighed as she unslung her chain.

_*Inside the building...*_

The quartet proceeded quietly through the second floor, Nepgear and Nepgya using their laser blades to light the way forward... they had decided not to flip any light switches, in case they were booby-trapped. There was a general sense of hypertension among the group, not knowing where an attack could come from...

"I sense two energy signatures in the next room," Dragon Ball quietly observed.

"The ninja and his captive?" Urusei guessed.

"No, I sense another, weaker energy far up," DB shook her head. "That's probably Kyon..."

"So the ninja has an accomplice. Good to know," Nepgear nodded as they approached a closed door. "Ten-to-one that door's booby trapped somehow..."

"Allow me, Master," Nepgya offered, walking up to the door in question... but when her hand closed around the knob, several darts suddenly struck her! ... and then clattered to the ground. "Analysis indicates mild poison designed to paralyze the human body. But it has no effect on a robot such as myself~!" With that, she forcibly kicked the door open! "We're here, Generic Ninja #25~!" There was no initial response as the quartet quickly entered the room, just as dark as the first, but far larger...

_(Music- 'Final Boss', Sonic The Hedgehog 3)_

"Welcome, Nepgear and company," said a voice that was definitely _not_ Generic Ninja #25, as a single orange eye with a slit pupil suddenly became visible in the darkness!

"What the goodness-?! _Overlord Momus?!"_ Nepgear cried in shock. "W-what's the final boss doing here?!"

"Subverting your expectations!" Momus cried, as twin curved energy blades erupted from his wrists! He quickly attacked, Nepgear and Nepgya barely managing to parry! "Did you think I was just another Orcus on his throne, waiting for you to come and defeat me?! Now that you are aware of my existence, I need not hide from you any longer!"

"Talk about an unexpected development!" Nepgya cried as she continued to parry Momus' blade strikes!

"I know you're there, Ninja #25!" Dragon Ball called out. "I can sense your energy! You can't hide from me!" She heard something being blown ducking to the left to dodge the poison dart! "Missed me!"

"I wasn't aiming for you," Generic Ninja #25 retorted, causing DB to look behind her...

"Ugh..." Urusei groaned, her chain slipping from her hands as she slowly collapsed to the floor. "Too slow... in my old age-tcha..."

"Doesn't matter!" Dragon Ball asserted, "I can easily take you on myself!" With that, she was engulfed in a white battle aura, brightening the room's interior considerably as she charged forward, attacking with a flurry of fist strikes! However, Ninja #25's speed enabled him to dodge or parry most of them, sliding around behind his opponent, only for her to block the retaliatory kick! "Too slow!" DB taunted as they continued to trade blows...

"This enemy has no weakness in his fighting style!" Nepgya cried as she and Nepgear continued to struggle against Overlord Momus.

"While I have extensive knowledge of yours!" Momus appended, easily sliding under a horizontal slice, one of his blades impaling Nepgya through the torso, his other blade _decapitating_ the robot! "Checkmate!"

_"Nepgyaaaa!"_ Nepgear cried in horror as Nepgya's head tumbled across the floor.

"Sorry, Master... I failed you..." Nepgya lamented before shutting down.

**"HOW DARE YOU?!"** Nepgear screamed as she was engulfed in a pillar of light, transforming to HDD, an angry battle aura engulfing her! "You'll pay for killing Nepgya! Even if I _can_ repair her!"

If Momus was intimidated by the transformation, he did a good job of hiding it. "So, that's what it takes for you to get serious, does it?" He promptly crossed his energy blades to block an overhead swing. "And yet, still too predictable!" he declared as he kicked Purple Sister away.

(Focus, Nepgear!) the CPU Candidate chastised herself. (If he knows your fighting style, you have to do something he's not expecting!) So, she threw her blade at Momus, who instinctively deflected it, only for Purple Sister to hit him in the leg with a sliding kick, making him drop to a knee! She then followed up with a high kick that snapped him back upright, then a roundhouse that sent Momus to the floor! But then Purple Sister was caught off-guard by explosive shuriken from Generic Ninja #25!

"That's what you get for tunnel vision!" Ninja #25 taunted as he continued to parry/dodge punches and kicks from Dragon Ball!

"Thank you, Ninja #25," Momus said as he righted himself. However, Purple Sister had also retrieved her laser blade, easily parrying Momus' attack and kicking him away again!

(Have to... do something!) Urusei thought to herself, still unable to move from the poison dart... but there was one thing she could still do, focusing her energy... (Hopefully Lady Nepgear can withstand this...!) Gritting her teeth, the alien let loose with an unfocused flare of electricity, shocking everyone else in the room!

"OW! What the goodness?!" Nepgear cried in pain. However, Momus fared significantly worse, his energy blades shorting out as he again fell to a knee, sparks flying from the mechanical augmentations on his body!

"Overlord Momus!" Ninja #25 managed to get to his boss' side, despite his own pain from the unexpected discharge.

"Gotcha..." Urusei chuckled weakly.

"It's over, Momus! You lose!" Purple Sister pointed her blade at the two villains. "All that's left is to unmask you and dismantle the rest of your House of Humiliation!"

_"Au contraire,_ Nepgear," Generic Ninja #25 shook his head. "We still have one card left to play!" He pulled out an insulted remote control, pressing the button! A distant scream was heard above... "Bye bye, John Smith!"

"NO!" Dragon Ball cried, putting two fingers to her forehead-

_*Outside...*_

John Smith screamed as he was suddenly launched out of the building, the shackles coming undone and sending him falling to his doom! _(Goddess, save me!_ It can't end like this!) He shut his eyes as the street raced up at him-

-but then he stopped, someone having grabbed him around the torso! "Whew, that was close!" Dragon Ball sighed in relief, holding John in an awkward upside-down position! "You okay?"

"I'm alive!" John cried in shock and relief. "Oh Goddess, thank you..."

"I'm not a goddess, but you're welcome," DB said as they slowly lowered to the ground, setting John down on his hands and knees. Just then, a plume of smoke erupted from the second floor, several coughs being heard! Purple Sister promptly flew out the window, carrying Urusei Yatsura in her arms... "What happened?!"

"(Cough) Smoke bomb... with (cough) tear gas!" Purple Sister hacked out, her eyes watering. "They got away...!"

"Thanks... (cough) for helping me," Urusei grunted. "Sorry I... wasn't very useful..."

"You tipped the battle in our favor," Dragon Ball pointed out. "You've got nothing to be sorry about, Mrs. Yatsura..."

"Yeah, thanks for coming for me," John Smith nodded. "Um... but can we get off the open streets, please?! I don't like being exposed like this!" Indeed, a few NPCs were already starting to point at the near-naked teenager...

"Here," DB grunted as she managed to remove her blue undershirt from under her orange gi. "This should help."

"Thanks," Kyon nodded as he quickly pulled the shirt over his head. "This'll work 'til we get back..."

"Right, I should call Haruhi and let her know..." Nepgear said as she reverted to normal, pulling out her phone... "Oh goodness, it's been shorted out!"

"Sorry, milady," Urusei lamented.

"It's fine, I'll just warp John back real quick," Dragon Ball said, she and John swiftly vanishing, DB reappearing alone a minute later. "Well, Lady Haruhi was happy and relieved..." Indeed, the swirling technicolors in the sky swiftly faded back to its normal blue shade. "Oh yeah, maybe I should warp Mrs. Yatsura back too, so Lady Haruhi can cure the ninja poison..."

"Right, and I'll go pick Nepgya up..." Nepgear nodded, handing Urusei off to Dragon Ball...

_*Planeptune City Outskirts*_

"Well, that could've gone better," Generic Ninja #25 sighed as he assisted Momus in walking, with Momus' arm over his shoulder. "Who would've thought that old alien had lightning powers like Iris Heart..."

"Indeed," Momus nodded in agreement. "I can walk now, the static's worn off... ugh, my vox encoder's shorted out... good thing this is a written fan-fiction, so the readers can't recognize my voice..."

"Don't worry, we'll get back to base soon enough," Ninja #25 assured him. "Hopefully Dr. Pop will be able to repair your augmentations when we get back... By the way, does anyone else know your true identity?"

"Soldier #20 knows," Momus replied. "But there's a reason I didn't want anyone else to know who I really am..."

"I know all too well, but let's take care not to spoil the readers," Ninja #25 asserted. "But I think it's fine if MAGES. finds out, she knows how to keep a secret..."

"I should hope so..." Momus sighed as the two continued on their way...

_*To be continued...*_

So, Momus finally got some karma for the chaos he's caused... but it's not over yet! Stay tuned for Ho-Hum's next evil plot!


	41. Chapter 40- Pulling Back

I've been getting complaints about too many fight scenes, so here's an effort to slow things down a bit...

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 40- Pulling Back

_*Ho-Hum W-2 Base*_

"Ah, welcome back," MAGES. greeted Overlord Momus and Generic Ninja #25 as they walked in. "Seems you had a rough time of it..."

"Yes, Overlord Momus needs his body armor and augmentations repaired," Ninja #25 said. "But first, his vox encoder needs to be fixed..."

"You had a vox encoder?!" MAGES. frowned. "I thought that might be the case... but why disguise your voice?"

"Because there are certain subordinates who don't need to find out, MAGES.," Momus spoke in an unfiltered voice.

"Ah!" MAGES. gasped in shock. "That- I _know_ that voice...! Is that really you, (CENSORED)?!"

"Yes, it's me," Momus sighed. "I hope you can keep a secret, MAGES... The only other one who knows is Adrian, because I had to reveal my true identity before he would trust me. Also, I think we need to restrict further operations for the time being... We still have to get settled into this new base, after all."

"Understood. I'll contact the team in Leanbox straight away... and then I shall get to work on fixing your armor and vox encoder! It shan't take long for a mechanical genius such as myself! Fuahahaha!"

"Great. In the meantime, I'll go hide in an enclosed room..." Momus sighed.

_*Planeptune Basilicom*_

"I'm so glad you're okay, Kyon," Haruhi sighed as she and John Smith sat on a beanbag cushion together. "I never meant for you to get kidnapped like that..."

"Well, like that Generic Ninja said, I was low-hanging fruit, an easy target," John shrugged. "Stop beating yourself up over it, okay? It's not like all of Planeptune was being converted to primordial ooze while you were sleeping on the job..."

"You HAD to bring that up..." Haruhi groaned in irritation. Just then, Neon came into the room. "Oh, Neon, Kyon was just making a joke..."

"I did not hear it," Neon shook her head. "Anyway, milady, I was going to suggest that we move Asseylum and the others to another nation for the time being, to preclude further kidnapping attempts by the House of Humiliation..."

"Probably not a bad idea," Haruhi nodded grimly. "How about Leanbox? I think LASA would like to meet the aliens, that stuck-up director notwithstanding..." But then, something occurred to her... "Oh, but, uh, Kyon, you don't have to come along if you don't want... I can just send you back home..."

John bit his lip in thought... "Well, I don't mind going back to Leanbox... There's some other places there I wanted to see..."

"You are lying," Neon stated bluntly. "More likely, the truth is that you do not want to go back to Lowee's frigid climate yet..."

"Oh darn, busted," John snarked. "Guess that means I have to back into the cold now, doesn't it? Oh woe is me..."

Haruhi couldn't help but titter at that. "No, it's alright, you can come, Kyon. You don't have to make up a lame excuse..."

"Thanks. That being said, I would like to at least call my parents and sister back home and let them know I'm doing alright..."

"You gonna tell them about the kidnapping?" Haruhi asked.

"Eh... probably not," John winced. "I'll just say Ho-Hum tried to target me, but you guys and Lady Nepgear nipped that in the bud... That's not too far from the truth."

"So, we talking a phone call, or would you like face-time?" Haruhi said. "'Cause I can do the latter easily..."

"...sure, why not," John shrugged. "Just try to project a good image for them, okay? Metaphorically speaking."

"No problem," Haruhi nodded, materializing a holo-screen...

_*Over in Leanbox...*_

"They got away AGAIN?!" Neptune groaned as she and Vert looked over the mess of food all over the park. "And I even happened to be in the area this time, too! Fish sticks and chips!"

"At least no one's been seriously hurt, unlike that one cop in Lastation," Vert sighed. "Then again, said cop likely caught Underling off-guard... anyway, I hear Hidden Food Harvest is strongly encouraging their drivers to arm themselves in anticipation of future hijackings... Unfortunately, my Shares are starting to suffer a little because of this..."

"Because of your failure to catch these guys?" Neptune stated. "A reporter at Nep Jr's press conference asked a similar question, but she managed to slap 'em down by saying we caught two of 'em..."

"I don't think you could really say we 'caught' little Peashy..." Vert shrugged. "Speaking of which, how is Peach doing?"

"Better, she's starting to do her daily jog and workouts again," Neptune replied. "I can tell Adrian's betrayal is still hurting her, even though I told her he's probably got some good reasons, like the evil demon kitty..."

"That was what I thought as well," Vert concurred, "an assertion that is only strengthened by the likelihood that MAGES., who created that power-suppression collar for BlackGatomon, has likely joined up with the House of Humiliation..."

"Not to mention, you got really lazy after both that cat and the other Demon Lord were beaten for good, or so I heard..."

"I-I was _not_ being lazy! I was trying to catch up on my backlog of video games!" Vert asserted with a slightly upset expression. "I said that outright to Peach several times, but she still insisted on trying to drag me outside...!"

"Sounds like this is somethin' you two can't see eye-to-eye on," Neptune sighed. "This keeps up, she might have to seek out new employment..."

"Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Vert demurred. "Right now, we need to focus on Ho-Hum and keeping the aliens safe from further attacks..."

_*Speaking of Ho-Hum...*_

"Return to base?!" Underling said in disbelief. "But we've been doing great!"

"We need to regroup and recalibrate," MAGES. responded over the radio link. "Overlord Momus had a bad time of it against Nepgear and the aliens, though he did manage to disable her robot duplicate... On another note, the heat is working here now, thanks to Thief #11 and Soldier #20..."

"Well, that's a relief, chu," Warechu nodded. "I'm up for some downtime, anyway..."

"Of course you would be, rat," Linda rolled her eyes. "Alright, we'll head back to base. See you soon."

"Well, I'd rather go where Mistress can't find me, anyway," Dogoo Man spoke up. "I've been kinda on-edge since she confronted us a while ago..."

"Yeah, I like B-Sha a lot better, anyway," Warechu added.

"Both of you, shut up and let's go!" Linda asserted, the other two quickly obeying as they set off for W-2 Base...

_*To be continued...*_

Next time, a certain doll-loving CPU returns...


	42. Chapter 41- Plutia Returns

Let's hope this visit goes a little better than the last one... Oh, and for the guest review, your money's on the wrong person. ;-)

Anyway, ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 41- Plutia Returns

_*Planeptune Basilicom*_

Plutia walked up to the Basilicom's entrance with a small amount of trepidation, giving her Neptune doll a squeeze to reassure herself. (I hope Neppy's not mad at me for what I did last time... I did kinda jump to conclusions...) Walking through the front door, she greeted one of the priests. "Um, is Neppy here?"

"Lady Neptune is out at the moment," the NPC priest shook his head. "Nepgear and Uzume are here, however, as are the aliens..."

"Oh, the aliens came back?" Plutia pondered. "Maybe I can apologize to them for what I did..."

"They should be on the third floor," the priest informed her.

"Thank you~!" Plutia smiled, before skipping to the elevator...

_*Third Floor*_

"Um, excuse me..." Plutia asked the two women, one older and one younger, "Do you know where the aliens are...?"

"You're talking to two of them, young lady," the older woman answered. "I'm Urusei Yatsura, and this is Mikuru Asahina. We're the retainers to Princess Asseylum of the Vers Empire-tcha..."

_"EH?_ Princess?!" Plutia's eyes shrank to circles. "I-I thought there was only a goddess and her Oracle...!"

"We arrived a bit later," Mikuru explained. "We came to establish diplomatic relations with this planet... d-don't worry, we come in peace... right, Oracle?" She spoke to Neon as she walked in, only for the Oracle to stop dead in her tracks. "I-is something wrong?"

"Umm... hello?" Plutia ventured hesitantly.

_**"AHHHHHHHHHH!"**_ Neon promptly let loose with a blood-curdling scream, doing an about-face and fleeing! _"Milady, she's back! Save meeee!"_

"Huh?!" Mikuru's eyes shrank to pinpricks in disbelief.

"My word, I've _never_ seen Oracle Evangelion act like that before-tcha!" Urusei said, a hand over her chest from shock. "Just what did you do to her, young lady?!"

"I-I just scared her a bit...!" Plutia stammered. Just then, Haruhi herself appeared in a flash of light, her eyes filled with contempt toward the pajama-clad CPU.

"Well, well, look who decided to come back," the alien goddess growled in disdain. "Didn't you learn your lesson last time, _Iris Heart?"_

"B-but I didn't do anything!" Plutia asserted, sweating a bit. "Sh-she just looked at me and screamed...!"

"She's right!" Mikuru nodded vigorously. "P-please, don't do anything rash...!"

"I'm fine, Mikuru, don't worry," Haruhi assured her as she walked in front of Plutia. "So, did you come back to say sorry?"

"W-well, I was gonna say sorry to Neppy... b-but I'm really sorry I jumped the gun about you...! Please don't beat me up again!" Plutia pleaded.

"Um, Ma'nabatea, I think we could use some context here-tcha..." Urusei requested.

"Oh, right. Basically, this girl had the audacity to toss a doll into Neon's lap, then she transformed into a dominatrix and threatened to torture Neon, so I stepped in," Haruhi explained.

"D-dominatrix?!" Mikuru gasped. "B-but, she looks nothing like that...!"

"I'm only like that when I transform," Plutia insisted. "I'm really not so bad once you get to know me... besides, I thought you guys were the invade-and-conquer type..."

"Well, to be fair, my father _is_ a conquerer of sorts," Asseylum spoke as she stepped into the room, "but I have no intention of doing so, nor do any of my fellow visitors here."

"Oh, are you the princess?" Plutia asked with a finger to her chin. "You sure look like one..."

"I am indeed, Princess Asseylum Aldnoah Zero of Vers. And you are?"

"I'm Plutia! I'm the CPU of Planeptune in the Ultradimension!" Plutia greeted happily. "Neppy and I are best friends~!"

"By which you mean Lady Neptune, I presume," Urusei guessed.

"That's right!" Plutia nodded.

"Y-you come from another d-dimension?!" Mikuru gasped. "I-I've heard of parallel dimensions, but...!"

"It's really not that different from here," Plutia shrugged. "My Planeptune's not quite as advanced as this one is... I try my best, but I'm no good with paperwork, so Mini-Histy usually has to do it for me..."

"Mini-Histy...? You mean, you have a Histoire fairy, too? I wanna see it!" Mikuru said.

"I would like to see this parallel dimension, myself," Asseylum nodded. "What do you think, Ma'nabatea?"

"Hmmm..." Haruhi closed her eyes in thought. "Y'know, in normal circumstances I'd be fine with it, but there's the matter of Neon's trauma with this CPU..."

"Well, maybe she could stay here while the rest of us go," John Smith said as he walked up. "I'd like to see the Ultradimension too. It's like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a former NPC like myself..."

_"Please,_ Lady Haruhi?" Mikuru pleaded.

"...wow, you must really want it if you're calling me by my preferred alias. Well... all right, I guess we can go over there for a while," Haruhi conceded. "I'll go tell Neon to hold down the fort while we're gone..."

"And tell her I'm sorry. Please~?" Plutia requested.

"I'll do that," Haruhi acquiesced as she left to go find her Oracle...

_*And so, a short while later...*_

"So~, this is the gate between dimensions that we all made with a bunch of Shares," Plutia said as the group approached the gate in question. Dragon Ball had also declined to go with them, wanting to help train Nepgear and Uzume in preparation for further attacks. "See, Neppy got stuck in my dimension at first, but then some bad guys started wreaking havoc, so we had to find a way to come back here..."

"I assume you're talking about when Rei Ryghts almost leveled this nation a while back?" John Smith said.

"Uh huh, but we managed to stop her," Plutia nodded.

"Just FYI, she's not a threat anymore," Haruhi spoke up. "Neon and I met her in Lowee, she works as a lawyer there now..."

"Glad to hear she saw the error of her ways-tcha," Urusei said with a smile.

"So, do we just walk right through?" Asseylum inquired.

"Yep! That's all there is to it! Just like walking through a door!" Plutia responded. "Okay~, here we go!" The group slowly proceeded through the gate, John briefly looking back before following...

_*Planeptune City (Ultradimension)*_

"Ta-daa! Welcome to my Planeptune!" Plutia announced.

"Oh my, it does seem a bit more quaint than the other one," Urusei observed as the group walked down the street.

"Yeah, this is a bit different," John concurred. "Not in a bad way, though."

"Oh hey! Looks like we got some new visitors!" a familiar voice called out, the group turning to see...

"EH? Lady Neptune?!" Mikuru gasped. "I thought you were in Leanbox...!"

"Uh... nope, wrong Neptune. You're thinking of Tiny Me," Adult Neptune chuckled, closing one eye and sticking out her tongue.

"It's okay, I was a bit confused too when I first met her," Plutia said. "I was like, 'Neppy, when did you get so big?'"

"Oh!" Mikuru gasped at realizing that this Neptune was a bit more 'mature' than the one she knew. "I-I'm so sorry, Miss Other Neptune...!"

"Eh, I prefer Big Neptune," Adult Neptune demurred. "Anyway, Lady Plutia, I'm guessing you're showing them around?"

"Uh-huh! I was gonna take them to my Basilicom," Plutia nodded. "But, Big Neppy, you don't have to call me 'Lady', okay? Just Plutia is fine..."

"Eh-heh, sorry," Adult Neptune ducked her head. "I'm not quite as familiar with you as Tiny Me is..."

"There you are!" another voice shouted, a lilac-haired woman jogging up, clad in a blue/white sweater, short shorts and pantyhose with short white boots. "Neptune, you weren't trying to sneak off to the other dimension without telling me again, were you?"

"Ack! Mom!" Neptune panicked, quickly turning to face the new arrival. "Uh, hi... nope, I was just saying hello to the tourists here, that's all!"

"Oh, really?" Neptune's mother raised an eyebrow. "Last time, you disappeared on me for years! I was worried sick! You know that, don't you?!"

"I said I was sorry!" Neptune shot back. "Besides, I promised I'd come home more often from now on..."

"Excuse me," Asseylum spoke up, "Are you really this Neptune's mother?"

"Huh? Oh yes, silly me, I forgot my manners!" Neptune's mother chuckled. Curtsying politely, she greeted, "I'm Umbriel, Neptune's mother. I assume you're from Hyperdimension?"

"Technically, yes," Asseylum nodded, "however, we actually hail from the Animenga Star Cluster, light years away..."

"Wait... y-you're aliens?!" Umbriel freaked. **"Ahhh!** Save me, Neptune!" She dove behind her daughter. "I don't wanna be abducted and cut up have my organs harvested...!"

"Seriously?!" Haruhi ducked her head in frustration.

"I second that!" Neptune rolled her eyes.

"Yare, yare, that didn't take long," John Smith face-palmed. "Okay, look, I'm not an alien, all right? And I've been traveling with this one for a while," he pointed to Haruhi, "and I can safely say they're on the level. If anyone's organs were gonna be harvested, it would've been mine, okay?"

"That's right, Miss Umbriel," Mikuru approached the two. "I might come from far away, but I'm as human as you are... and so is Princess Asseylum, and G Gundam here, okay?"

"R-really...?" Umbriel peeked out from behind Neptune.

"Really and truly."

"Oh... okay. Right..." Umbriel stood up and stepped away from her daughter, composing herself. "Um, (ahem) sorry for jumping to conclusions..."

"Honestly, Mom," Neptune groaned, "I could tell right away they weren't bad guys, sheesh... Plutia wouldn't be guiding them around if that was the case!"

"Eh heh heh heh..." Umbriel turned a nice shade of cherry red. "R-right, she'd be going HDD on them if that was the case..."

"Her HDD form already traumatized my Oracle," Haruhi sighed, before making introductions. "Anyway, we're heading to see Plutia's Basilicom, if you wanna join us..."

"Oh, I'd love to see the Basilicom up close and personal!" Umbriel exclaimed. "I usually live out in the country, so..."

"Of course you can come along, Big Neppy-mom!" Plutia beamed.

"Umbriel, please..."

_*Planeptune Basilicom*_

"Oh, you came back quickly," Histoire greeted, standing on her tome as usual. "And you seem to have brought some visitors..."

"Oh, this is your Histoire~? It's even cuter than the other one!" Mikuru cooed as she ran up to the tiny fairy. "I wanna take it home with me...!"

"Sorry, Mini-Histy's aaaaall mine~," Plutia shook her head. "If you really want, though, I could make a Mini-Histy doll for you..."

"Really? I would love that! Thank you so much!" Mikuru squeed in joy.

"You're not the first one to have said that," Mini-Histy sweat-dropped. "Anyway, Plutia, could you introduce your new friends?" So Plutia did, Histoire's eyes shrinking to circles as the implications hit. "...h-honest to goodness extraterrestrials?!"

"Save me," John Smith spoke up. "I'm just a former NPC from Lowee along for the ride."

"Don't worry, Mini-Histy, if Neppy trusts them, then so do I!" Plutia proclaimed.

"Even though you went Iris Heart on them last time you visited?" John snarked.

"Yeah, that's the reason my Oracle's not with us," Haruhi ducked her head. "I taught her a lesson, though."

"You sure did," Plutia said grimly. "I never stood a chance, even going all-out..."

"Y-you managed to defeat Plutia in HDD form?!" Histoire gasped in disbelief. "I... I've never heard of that happening before, o-other than hopeless boss fights! J-just what kind of goddess are you...?!"

"The kind that's not dependent on people's faith to sustain myself," Haruhi shrugged. "FYI, Iris Heart didn't exactly go out like a punk, either... It's rare that I have to use 10% of my full power to defeat someone foolish enough to challenge me directly."

"Th-that's not exactly reassuring...!" Mini-Histy cried, sweating profusely.

"Eh, it's fine," John shrugged. "Other than the occasional prank or raining spaghetti and meatballs on everyone's heads, she's mostly harmless."

"Pffft! S-spaghetti and meatballs?! I woulda loved to see that!" Adult Neptune tried to stifle her laughter.

"Aaaaanyway, getting back to dolls... does anyone else want one~?" Plutia asked. "I've got dolls of aaaall my fellow CPUs!" She pointed to a bookshelf where said dolls were prominently displayed.

"The Blanc doll looks cute, I'll take one of those," G Gundam requested.

"Yeah, me too, for my little sister back home," John appended.

"I think I'm a little too old for dolls now," Asseylum shook her head.

"...Would it be possible for you to make a doll in my image-tcha, except a bit younger?" Urusei asked. "My Darling back home would like that..."

"Sure!" Plutia nodded. "It might take a little while, though... if I don't get it done before you go back, I'll just give it to Neppy."

"Yeah, I can take care of it," Big Neptune nodded. "I warp anywhere thanks to a certain bug in my Nep-Note!"

"I'm not a bug!" Croire protested from Neptune's pocket.

"Oh, so _that's_ where she disappeared to," Mini-Histy muttered. "Well, that's one less thing to worry about, I guess..." Just then, an NPC soldier ran into the room.

"Lady Plutia!" the soldier cried breathlessly. "We have an emergency! There's a dragon zombie wreaking havoc at the city limits! The army's getting overwhelmed! We need you!"

"Oh, boo," Plutia sighed in annoyance. "Guess the custom doll will have to wait... Histy, can you give the aliens a tour for me, please?"

"That's fine, but I recommend at least going outside before you transform," Histoire suggested.

"It's okay~! I'll just go out the window, it's faster!" With that, Plutia jogged to said window and pushed it open. "Here I go~!" She was promptly engulfed in a pillar of light, which faded to reveal the dreaded Iris Heart.

"Oh my!" Urusei gasped. "And Lady Neptune said my battle bikini was raunchy...!"

"Eeeeep!" Mikuru promptly hid herself behind Haruhi. "N-no wonder Oracle Neon was t-traumatized...!"

"I-I second that!" Umbriel nodded vigorously, hiding behind her daughter again.

"Oh, don't worry," Iris looked back with a smirk, "the only one getting traumatized today is that monster!" With that, she promptly dove out the window, materializing her processor wings and flying off.

"...Am I the only one who thinks she's kinda hot?" John said, only to get dope-slapped by Haruhi.

_*To be continued...*_

...I think this is a good place to stop for now. As always, review~!


	43. Chapter 42- Two Planeptunes

Next chapter, GO!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 42- Two Planeptunes

_*Nepgear's Workshop*_

"You look a little sweaty, Nepgear," Uni commented from the holo-screen above Nepgear's workbench. "Maybe you need to take a break from working on Nepgya..."

"Oh no, this is from early morning training with Uzume and Dragon Ball," Nepgear explained. "I've only just started working on Nepgya... it shouldn't be too hard to reattach her head, since I did it once before... the real problem is the hair! Do you know how long it took me to find just the right synthetic material to mimic my lilac-colored locks?! And while it's not _super_-expensive, it's not exactly cheap, either!"

"Um, Nepgear..."

"At least things should go a little easier this time, since I won't have to rebuild Nepgya's AI from the ground up..."

"NEPGEAR!"

"WAH! What the goodness! Why are you yelling, Uni?!" Nepgear cried.

"You were going off on a tinkering tangent again!" Uni pointed out. "That's not why you called me, is it?"

"O-oh, right... sorry," Nepgear sweat-dropped. "You're right, there was another reason I called... hang on." Typing at a virtual keyboard, another holo-screen popped up, showing the John Smith ransom video. "This is video footage of Generic Ninja #25, I wanted to ask you if he looked familiar at all..."

"Why would he look familiar to me?" Uni pondered quizzically.

"Well, I remembered the others suggested that Generic Ninja #25 might actually be Steamax of AffimaX, since none of us ever saw him outside of his robot armor... except you, Uni."

"What?! Y-you think _Steamax_ is the one that helped that Rei clone steal Noire's cosplay costumes?!" Uni asked in disbelief.

"Well, it would explain why he never tried to intercept Tenten when she snuck past you and K-Sha," Nepgear extrapolated. "I don't want to believe it myself, but we have to consider all possibilities... So, does this guy look like Steamax to you?"

"Umm... can you zoom in a little?" Uni requested, Nepgear promptly doing so. "Hmmm... Well, the hairstyle is similar, and he's got the right skin tone... but with those sunglasses and that bandanna over his face, it's hard to say one way or the other... sorry, Nepgear."

"N-no, it's alright," Nepgear shook her head. "I agree, with so much of his face covered, it's impossible to make a solid ID... Um, but does Steamax have any distinguishing features that sets him apart from others?"

Uni bit her lip in thought. "Well, there IS one thing, but he's kinda sensitive about it..."

"Please, Uni?" Nepgear pleaded.

"Well... he's actually heterochromatic," the twin-tailed goddess stated. "His left eye is blue, while his right eye is black... it's actually the same in his robot armor form, if you remember..."

"Oh, yeah! Now that you mention it... and here I thought it was just because that eye was shorted out or something!" Nepgear mused. "Like, in some cool battle with another robo-ninja or something..."

"Of course you would," Uni rolled her eyes, though she had a smile on her face. "So, what about Princess Asseylum and the others? Are they heading to Leanbox to meet LASA?"

"Actually, Plutia came back and apologized, and took the group save DB and Neon to her Planeptune," Nepgear explained. "I figured it wasn't a bad idea, since it doesn't seem Ho-Hum has the capability to operate in Ultradimension..."

"Does Neptune know about that?"

"I sent her a text earlier," Nepgear affirmed. "Her response was basically, 'hope nothing happens that causes her to go Sadie again...'"

"I-I hope not either," Uni sweat-dropped.

_*Speaking of which...*_

"So the CPUs here all used to be human?" Asseylum inquired.

"That is correct," Histoire nodded. "But in order to become a goddess, you need a specific item called a CPU Memory... and only very few women are compatible. If you aren't compatible, the CPU Memory instead turns you into a disgusting monster..."

"Ewww!" Mikuru did a full-body cringe. "I-is there any way to reverse that?! Please tell me there is...!"

"Someone did find a way to revert that transformation, yes," Mini-Histy nodded. "Most of those girls that were formerly monsters are under the care of a certain Mr. Badd... he's an ex-villain, by the way."

"Well, that explains the name," John Smith snarked. "Any other ex-villains we should know about? I know there's a Rei Ryghts here..."

"No one worth mentioning..." Mini-Histy demurred. "Unless anyone here happens to be an eggplant lover, that is."

"Oh, did someone try to take advantage of Neptune's hatred of eggplants?" Haruhi guessed.

"Yes, but it got so ridiculous that it didn't effect Neptune anymore, and so the villain lost," Histoire expounded. "Afterwards, that woman settled down and became an eggplant farmer for real, though we still keep an eye on her, just to be safe..."

"I'm back!" Plutia called as she walked into the room, her hair looking a bit more disheveled then usual, clothes also slightly torn and dirty. "That dragon zombie was tough, but I got 'em!"

"Excellent work," Histoire smiled. "But, it looks like you could use a bath..."

"Um, Lady Plutia...?" Mikuru ventured hesitantly. "M-may I ask why you're so different when you t-transform...?"

"...Do you _reeeeeeeeaally_ wanna know that~?" Plutia replied, a smirk on her slightly shadowed face.

"Eep!" Mikuru immediately dove behind Haruhi again. "Sorry, sorry! I-I was just curious!"

"I'm guessing some sort of repressed childhood trauma," John Smith deadpanned. "Not that it's any of my business..."

"I had a friend who was constantly abused verbally by her mother..." Urusei mused. "She was pretty messed up for a while because of that-tcha..."

"Oh, really?" A pillar of light, and suddenly Iris Heart was standing before the elder alien. "Don't think you can equate in anyway with what _I_ suffered as a child... Only Neppy and Noire from here know the full story, and they know better than to disturb _that_ hornet's nest..."

"Ahh! M-my sincere apologies-tcha!" Urusei babbled in fear.

"Don't even think about it, Iris Heart!" Haruhi warned.

"Oh no, I understand that this _old, senile_ lady doesn't know any better," Iris stated. "I'm just giving her fair warning, is all."

"C-consider me warned-tcha!" Urusei nodded frantically.

"Good." Another flash, and Plutia was back to normal. "Aaaaanyway~, I'm gonna go take a bath now. Bye bye!" With that, Plutia skipped off, causing everyone present to release their held breath.

"Geez, that was scary!" G Gundam shivered.

"I'm starting to see now why Oracle Evangelion was so traumatized," Asseylum spoke up. "Lady Plutia is like night and day when she transforms..."

"Indeed, even I am not totally safe from her punishments, though she has been slightly better behaved as of late," Mini-Histy sighed. "Of course, that could be due to the author's preferences..."

"Author...?" Asseylum tilted her head quizzically.

"Never mind," Haruhi stated firmly. "It's something only goddesses like myself understand, okay? Still..." She took on a contemplative pose. "If I, who am already a goddess, ate one of those CPU Memories, I wonder what would happen?"

"I can't say for sure, due to your extraterrestrial nature," Histoire shook her head. "I would hypothesize that it would either have no effect, or give you a transformation similar to a CPU's Hard Drive Divinity..."

"And now I'm thinking of Haruhi with white hair, processor wings and a bunny suit," John Smith snarked.

"B-bunny suit...?" Mikuru suppressed a giggle.

"That reminds me, when Ma'nabatea first appeared to my father, she wore a bunny suit to get him to relax," Asseylum recalled with a giggle.

"R-really?!" G Gundam gasped.

_"Gah!_ Did you have to tell him that?!" Haruhi buried her face in her hands, causing a round of laughter while John found himself also blushing furiously...

_*Ho-Hum W-2 Base*_

"Testing, one, two, one, two..." Overlord Momus spoke. "Ah, good, my vox encoder is working now." Opening the door, he stepped out to address his subordinates...

_"HA!_ I win-chu!" Warechu cried as his on-screen car came in first place.

"You cheated!" Linda protested.

"Shortcuts aren't cheating, chu!"

"They are when you take advantage of a glitch to achieve said shortcut," Adrian commented from nearby.

"B-but, she woulda done the same thing, chu!" Warechu stammered.

_"SILENCE!"_ Momus boomed, the trio immediately abandoning their racing game and standing at attention. "Better. Now that I'm back in form, the time has come to enact our next evil plot..."

"So how're we gonna screw over those CPUs this time, chu?" Warechu asked.

"Generic Ninja #25!" Momus called, said ninja appearing at his side not a moment later. "Have you been keeping tabs on that one ship?"

"Of course I have," Ninja #25 replied. "Is it time to make our move, then?"

"It is. Take Soldier #20, BlackGatomon and the Tenga with you. You know what to do."

"As you will, Overlord Momus," the ninja bowed.

_*To be continued...*_

Hmm, what ship could they be targeting? Is it a sea ship or an airship? Find out next time! ;-)


	44. Chapter 43- Airship Hijacking!

Finally got back to this story after working on 'Fate/book one' for a while...

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 43- Airship Heist!

_*A few days later, in the skies above Leanbox...*_

"Another day, another dollar," Affimojas said as he sat at the control room of his airship. "Now, let's see if I can get any passing shots of Lady Vert today..." He had to play this carefully, as Vert had already scolded him more than once for being a Peeping Tom... So he had to make it look as if he was just passing by casually, and be careful not to linger. "Lady Vert can be scary when she's angry... but that just adds to her beauty, I think! Now then..." He took out a new, top-of-the-line long-range camera, pointing it in the direction of the Basilicom... "Let's see if I can get a glimpse of that divine beauty through her bedroom window..."

_"FREEZE!"_ Affimojas whipped around as the door opened, a black-armored Leanbox soldier and several anthropomorphic crows dashing in. "Don't move a muscle, Affimojas!"

"Oh come on!" Affimojas cried as he gently set down the camera, then raised his hands. "You can't arrest me for shooting indecent photos when I haven't even started yet!"

"Wrong! This is a hijacking, caww!" One of the crows declared. "Your ship now belongs to Ho-Hum, caww!"

_"Hijacking?!_ Over my dead body!" Affimojas cried as he grabbed his broadsword. "Do you have any idea how much money I paid for this baby?!"

"I don't know, and I don't care," the black-clad soldier replied. "This may be an evil plot, but I'm still doing Lady Vert a favor by cockblocking your robo-rear end! Do it, BlackGatomon!"

"Huh?" Several thin tendrils suddenly wrapped around Affimojas, before throwing him backwards- right out through the windshield! **"AHH-HAH-HAH-HOOIE!"** he screamed as he plummeted to the pavement far below! (Is this how the great Affimojas meets his end?!) He deactivated his visual sensors-

-only to feel someone catch him! _"Oof!_ Got you, General!" Affimojas promptly reactivated his vision, to see a familiar purple robo-ninja!

_"Steamax!_ Your timing is impeccable, old friend!" Affimojas sighed in relief, only to grunt a minute later as he was dropped to the ground.

"Sorry, but you're really heavy, General," Steamax grunted, shaking his arms a little. "Even with biomechanical augmentation..."

"Well, as long as you saved me from becoming an oily smear on the pavement!" Affimojas chuckled as he stood up, looking upwards to see his airship turn and depart... _"You won't get away with this, you rogue soldier! You hear me?!"_

"A rogue soldier hijacked your airship?! Not good," Steamax lamented.

"Indeed! We must contact Lady Vert at once! They may plan to do far worse than voyeurism with my ship!" He began to walk toward the Basilicom-

"Actually, General, Lady Vert already left the Basilicom," Steamax pointed out. "I believe she and her Oracle were driving to LASA to meet up with the aliens..."

"Aliens...?! _Oh,_ yes, now I remember!" Affimojas nodded. "I was planning to just stay holed up in my ship until they left, just in case they got the wrong idea... but it seems that is no longer an option! Come, Steamax! To LASA headquarters!"

"I hear and obey, General," Steamax nodded in deference, the two going off...

_*LASA HQ*_

"Knock knock! Guess who's back!" Haruhi greeted as she, Neon, Kyon and Vert entered the office area, several NPCs calling out to her in recognition. "Hey, is the administrator around?"

"He's out today, but I'm here," Bliden DeMint said as he walked up to the trio. "It's good to see you again, Lady Haruhi, but why are you back here?"

"Because I brought some friends this time!" Haruhi replied with a smile, stepping aside and letting four other women enter. "This is Princess Asseylum of Vers, and her retainers!"

"Hello, sir, it's nice to meet you," Asseylum curtsied, Urusei, Mikuru, and G Gundam following suit.

"This is the deputy administrator, the second-in-command, so to speak," Neon stated, before introducing the others. "They wish for a tour of your facilities..."

"Certainly, Your Highness!" Bliden bowed lightly to Asseylum. "In that case, let's begin by heading to the tourist museum!"

"My, he's quite enthusiastic, isn't he-tcha?" Urusei observed.

"Well, it's not every day you make First Contact with alien lifeforms," Vert pointed out...

_*A short while later...*_

"And this is our observation deck!" Bliden DeMint announced as he led the group along. "From here, you can see the launch pads we use to send ships and satellites into orbit, and beyond!"

"Well, it's rather primitive, but charming," Urusei commented.

"P-primitive?!" Bliden sweat-dropped.

_"Urusei Yatsura!"_ Asseylum angrily whirled on her retainer. "Did I not specifically order you _not_ to berate their space travel advancements, or lack thereof?! Lady Haruhi, give her a penalty!"

"You got it!" Haruhi grinned as she snapped her fingers, several splotches of mud suddenly appearing on Urusei's kimono!

**"Nooo!** Not my favorite kimono-tcha!" the elder alien cried in dismay, doffing said kimono to look it over. "This will take forever to clean out all the stains-tcha...!"

"Big _open mouth, insert foot_ moment there, Mrs. Yatsura," G Gundam shook her head. "To be fair, your 'space shuttles' don't seem to be too far behind the Core Fighters that make up the torso and cockpit of our giant robot mechas..."

"Ah, well, that's good to hear," Bliden nodded. "But why is Mrs. Yatsura wearing nothing but a bikini under her robes?!"

"Haruhi, while I understand the need to penalize her, perhaps you could give Urusei some replacement clothes in the meantime?" Vert suggested.

"Oh, fine," the alien goddess rolled her eyes. With a wave of her hand, Urusei was now clad in a tiger-striped blouse and long skirt. "There, better?"

"Much better," Bliden nodded. "My wife would never let me hear the end of it if she found out a woman had exposed herself to me..."

"I-it wasn't intentional-tcha!" Urusei objected, her face reddening. "On my home planet, fur bikinis used to be all the rage-tcha!"

"Are not elders supposed to set a good example for the younger generation?" an unfamiliar male voice spoke up, causing everyone to cry out in shock!

"Wh-who said that?!" Mikuru looked around frantically.

"I'm not sure, but that voice sounds familiar..." Vert pondered.

"Uh, _hello,"_ Haruhi cried, "Like, can you not see the purple ninja robot standing on the railing right there?!" The group turned in the direction the goddess pointed, and sure enough...

"Hmph. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that _you_ were able to discern my presence, alien goddess," the ninja complimented.

"Steamax!" Vert realized. "Oh, what are you doing here? I thought you were in Lastation..."

"I came back to visit General Affimojas," Steamax explained. "Unfortunately, I ended up saving him from falling to his doom, as his airship was hijacked by sinister forces!"

"What?!" Vert gasped in shock.

"Looks like those Ho-Hum guys are back at it," Kyon deadpanned. "Please tell me they're not headed here..."

"Actually, no. They appear to be headed south, last we checked," Steamax shook his head. "Fortunately, Affimojas is still capable of tracking his ship despite being dispossessed..."

"But what could be south of here?" Asseylum queried. "If I remember the map of Gaminidustri that I saw, there's only an inactive volcano on the south end of Leanbox, isn't there?"

"That's right, Mt. Ebott," Vert nodded. "If that's the case, then I think I know why Ho-Hum is headed there..."

"What reason would that be?" Mikuru asked.

"Simple. Ho-Hum's stated goal is to keep us on our toes, to challenge us and keep us from becoming lazy," Vert explained. "They must be deliberately moving the airship to an area that is hard to traverse on foot, but with clear weather, so they can just shoot down any planes or HDD goddesses that try to board the ship from the air..."

"So what are you going to do, Lady Vert?" Asseylum queried.

"First, I need to make a call," the CPU replied, pulling out her mobile device...

_*To be continued...*_

Hmm, I wonder what Vert's plan could be? And will it succeed? Find out next time! ;-)


	45. Chapter 44- Mountain Climb

Some unexpected cameos in this chapter... Enjoy! ;-)

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 44- Mountain Climb

_*Peach's Apartment*_

"So, you think you'll be OK now?" Neptune asked. "We oughta be getting back before Histy starts complaining again..."

"I-I think I'll be fine," Peach nodded, before hearing a ring tone. "I think that's yours, Neptuna..."

Neptune quickly pulled out her phone, checking the caller ID before answering. "Heya Vert, what's up?"

_"Are you still at Peach's place?"_ Vert asked.

"Yeah, P-ko and I were just gettin' ready to head back. What's up?"

_"I need your help with something... Affimojas' ship was just hijacked by Ho-Hum, and they're heading south. While I'd like to handle this on my own, someone needs to keep an eye on Asseylum's group just in case..."_

"Well, that's not good. Okay, give us, like, five minutes before Haruhi comes to warp us over here..."

_"Very well, I will see you soon. Good bye, Neptune."_ Vert then hung up.

"What's going on?" Peach asked, Neptune giving her the news. "Oh... do you think Adrian is with them?"

"He could be. I mean, that Affimojas is a known Vert pervert, so he'd probably chomp at the bit to teach him a lesson..."

"Don't worry, Big Sis!" little Peashy spoke up. "If Mr. Adrian's there, we'll make sure he knows that he got tricked by Mom-Us! Even if we gotta beat him up!"

"W-well, try not to beat him up_ too_ much, okay? That should be up to me, anyway," Peach pointed out.

"Yeah, well, from what I remember about him, I think he'll be willing to talk to us first..." Neptune mused.

_*Soon, at the foot of Mt. Ebott...*_

Haruhi appeared with Neptune and Peashy in a flash of light, beholding the massive mountain before them. "Well, this is probably as close as I can get you without catching the bad guys' attention. So, good luck!"

"Thanks, we're probably gonna need it," Neptune sighed, Haruhi promptly warping away. "Ready to do some climbing, P-ko?"

"But Neptuna, can't we just follow the road instead?" Peashy pointed to the asphalt road that wound its way up.

"For a little bit, but it probably doesn't go all the way up," Neptune pointed out. "But yeah, it'd be way easier to start out... Alright, let's go!"

_(Music- 'Arid Canyon Zone, Act 1'- Sonic Robo Blast 2 v.2.2)_

And so the duo began jogging up the road, staying to the right so oncoming cars had less chance to run them down, just in case. "Neptuna, what's that sign say? Beware something...?"

"Beware of coyotes," Neptune said. "There's probably not much to eat up here, so we gotta be careful they don't take a bite of us!"

"I'll beat 'em up before they eat me!" Peashy proclaimed. "Pow! Bam! Whack!"

"Well, it's gonna be a long climb, so don't tire yourself out," Neptune told her.

"So why don't we just transform and fly up?" Peashy then asked.

"Cause that's what the bad guys are expecting us to do, and we'll probably get shot down in flames," Neptune explained. "We wanna try and catch 'em off guard, okay?"

"OK!" Peashy agreed, the two continuing on their way...

_*A few minutes later...*_

"Ugh, Pea's thirsty!" Peashy complained as they continued up the road.

"Yeah, well, I kinda doubt there's any water stations up here..." Neptune lamented as the two rounded a curve... only to see a stand saying 'Free Water!' with a full glass sitting on top! "Whoops, looks like I tripped an event flag!"

"Yay! Water!" Peashy cheered running up to the stand-

_"Stop, P-ko!"_ Neptune cried, Peashy promptly screeching to a halt. "This could be a trap by the bad guys, ya know!"

"But I'm thirsty!" Peashy whined.

"Just let me check it first, OK?" Peashy nodded and backed off while Neptune looked the stand over... "Ah-ha! See, this glass of water is attached to a string! So when you lift up the glass... **KA-BOOM!"** Peashy briefly jumped in the air at that. "But don't worry, Nep knows what to do!" Summoning her katana, Neptune proceeded to lift up the glass just a _tiny_ bit, enough to slide the blade underneath... then with a little sawing, she cut through the trip string and freed the glass! "There! Here ya go, P-ko!"

"Yay! You're the best, Neptuna!" Peashy cheered as she took the glass, and gulped down half the water. "Um... you want the rest?"

"Why thank you, P-ko!" Neptune nodded, downing the rest of the water. Tossing the glass aside, she stated, "Okay, let's go!" The duo promptly proceeded on their way... Unknown to them, though, a creature with yellow eyes was observing them...

"Very clever. Clearly smarter than the average roadrunner... Well, let's try a more direct approach." With that, he put two fingers to his mouth and whistled...

"Did you hear that, Neptuna?" Peashy looked around in confusion.

"Sounded like someone whistling..." Just then, several barks were heard in the distance. "And those sound like coyotes! Get ready, P-ko!" Sure enough, a pack of brown-furred coyotes came into view with dinner on their minds! "Take this! And that!" the CPU cried as she started cutting down the canines with her sword. One leapt at Peashy, only to be hit with an uppercut to the snout, knocking it head over heels! Peashy then leapt and hit another coyote with a dropkick, sending over the nearby railing and into the ravine below!

"Oh, I sympathize with you, my friend..." the creature from before lamented. Despite this, he began preparing to try and take advantage of the situation...

Eventually, the coyotes realized they were outmatched, turning tail and fleeing back up the road. "Yeah! You can't eat us, coyotes!" Peashy taunted after them.

But then, something caught the corner of Neptune's eye... _"Look out, P-ko!"_ she screamed, tackling Peashy aside- -just as an anvil crashed into the pavement where Peashy had just been standing! "Yow, too close!"

"Look, Neptuna! It's another coyote!" Peashy pointed upward. However, unlike the previous coyotes, this one stood on his hind feet, his yellow eyes glimmering with intelligence. "Why'd you try to squish Pea?!"

"He seems a bit more _wily_ than the previous bunch," Neptune mused.

"Indeed, I am a genius, especially compared to my brethren that you just dispatched," the bipedal coyote spoke.

"Ah! He talked, Neptuna!" Peashy gasped in surprise.

"So, I'm guessing that rigged water stand was your doing?!" Neptune accused as they stood up.

"Indeed it was," the coyote admitted. "But there's more than one way to skin a cat... or human, in this case. Not that I have a taste for humans, but in this arid climate, beggars can't exactly be choosers, if you take my meaning. So, I'll give you the customary two minutes to say your prayers..."

"Eh, no," Neptune declined. "Let's run, P-ko!"

"Okay, Neptuna! Bye-bye, talking coyote!" Peashy said as they took off.

The coyote could only sigh and shrug. "Why do they always want to do it the hard way?" he lamented, jumping down the cliff and giving chase!

"He's after us!" Peashy realized.

"Don't stop! Keep running!" Neptune ordered, the coyote hot on their heels! Rounding another curve, they came upon a fork in the road... "Take the left path!" So they did, eventually coming upon what appeared to be a tunnel going through the mountain... "Uh-oh... P-ko, jump to the side... _NOW!"_ Peashy promptly leapt to the right, while Neptune jumped and rolled to the left, the pursuing coyote going between them-

-and smashing into the rock wall, the 'tunnel' revealed to be just a painting on said wall! "Wow! How'd you know the tunnel was fake?" Peashy asked in awe.

"Depth perception. An essential tool for navigating a 3D game world like ours," Neptune explained. "C'mon, let's go back and go up the other fork before he wakes up!"

"OK!" Peashy nodded, the duo promptly taking off as the coyote peeled off the wall and fell flat on his back...

_*A short while later...*_

"Do ya think that talking coyote will try to eat us again?" Peashy asked as they continued up the road.

"Maybe... he doesn't seem like the type to give up easy..." Neptune mused... then her ears pricked up as she heard a motor revving! "Car's coming! Get to the other side!" The two girls ran to the other side of the road, a red hot rod zooming by a minute later! "Yikes! Watch it, buster!"

But then there was the sound of screeching tires, the car backing into view a minute later... "OH MY GOSH! ARE YOU OKAY?!" the driver cried in distress, revealed to be a skeleton wearing some cheap white super hero costume with a small cape. "I DIDN'T HIT YOU, DID I?!"

"No, we're fine," Neptune sighed, dusting herself off.

"Hey, you're a talking skeleton!" Peashy realized. "Are you gonna try and eat us like that talking coyote?!"

"WHAT?! OF COURSE NOT!" the skeleton replied, insulted. "ONE, I DON'T EVEN HAVE A STOMACH, AND TWO, I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH HUMANS! I'VE ALREADY MADE QUITE A FEW INTERNET FRIENDS ON THAT 'NEPBOOK' APP!"

"Nepbook? ...waaaaait a minute," Neptune racked her brain, "You wouldn't happen to be that 'Papyrus' guy with the smiling skull icon, and always typing in ALL CAPS?"

"THAT'S ME! THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AT YOUR SERVICE!" the skeleton exclaimed. "MY GREATNESS PRECEDES ME!"

"Do you always have to shout, Mr. Paper-Us?!" Peashy complained, covering her ears.

"I'M NOT SHOUTING, I'M SPEAKING IN ALL CAPS! THERE'S A DIFFERENCE, YOU KNOW," Papyrus argued. "HEY, WHY ARE YOU TWO WALKING ON THIS ROAD, ANYWAY? DON'T YOU HAVE A CAR?"

"Nope. Never saw a need to get a license," Neptune deadpanned. "But, you see, we gotta get to the top of the mountain so we can board the airship that got hijacked by bad guys..."

"BAD GUYS HIJACKED YOUR AIRSHIP?! THAT'S TERRIBLE!" Papyrus cried in dismay. "BUT, NEVER FEAR! THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN TAKE YOU UP THERE IN MY CAR! WELL, AS FAR AS THE ROAD GOES, ANYWAY..."

"Really?! YAY!" Peashy cheered.

"Well, I guess we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth," Neptune said with a shrug, getting into the shotgun seat while Peashy climbed into the back.

"MAKE SURE YOUR SEATBELTS ARE FASTENED! SAFETY FIRST, YOU KNOW!" Papyrus advised. Once the two CPUs had buckled in, he declared, "ALRIGHT, OFF WE GO!" He drove the car down to the fork, using the space to turn around before zooming back up the road! But then, another vehicle suddenly pulled up behind them...

"Neptuna! The coyote's back!" Peashy cried. Sure enough, the coyote was riding some sort of rocket-powered race car, with a hungry smile on his face!

"OH, THAT STUPID COYOTE!" Papyrus complained. "HOLD ON, I'M GUNNING THE ENGINE!" He promptly floored it, the goddesses screaming as they accelerated rapidly! "DON'T WORRY, I KNOW THESE ROADS LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND!"

"You won't escape my dinner plate so easily!" the coyote shouted as he upped the thrust on his rocket engine!

"He's catching up! He's gonna eat us!" Peashy cried in panic.

"NOT ON MY WATCH!" Papyrus vowed, making a hard turn around a sharp curve, some paint scraping off on the railing! The coyote tried to follow, only for his steering wheel to abruptly _break off,_ causing him to smash right through the railing!

"Oh, _no..."_ the coyote sighed, promptly falling into the ravine with a high-pitched whistling sound, race car and all, eventually hitting the river far below with a splash.

"Ah-hahahaha! Stupid coyote fell all the way down!" Peashy laughed in mirth and relief.

"Guess we don't have to worry about him anymore," Neptune sighed in relief herself.

"SEE? YOU SHOULD HAVE MORE FAITH IN THE GREAT PAPYRUS!" Papyrus chuckled in triumph, even as he eased up on the gas. "OKAY, ONWARD WE GO, TO THE END OF THE ROAD!"

"Yay!" Peashy cheered as they drove off...

_*Elsewhere...*_

"heh heh heh..." a small, pudgy skeleton wearing a blue jacket and baggy pants, chortled as he tossed a few screws in one hand, a screwdriver sticking out of his coat pocket. "i just love watching that so-called genius coyote take a fall. my brother should be able to handle things from here..." With that, he lay down and rested his head on a boulder, taking a nap...

_*To be continued...*_

So, were you expecting those characters? There'll be a few more Undertale cameos next chapter... ;-)


	46. Chapter 45- The Summit

And now, an appearance from everyone's favorite fish monster and her girlfriend! ;-)

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 45- The Summit

Papyrus' car came to a stop by a sign marked 'SUMMIT TRAIL'. "HERE WE ARE!" he announced, "THE END OF THE ROAD! YOU'LL HAVE TO CLIMB UP FROM HERE..."

"Thanks a lot, Mr. Paper-Us!" Peashy said as she and Neptune unbuckled and got out.

"ANYTIME!" Papyrus chuckled, before something suddenly occurred to him. "OH, BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW, MY FRIEND UNDYNE IS TRAINING UP THERE TODAY! SHE MIGHT CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT, SO WATCH OUT!"

"Great. Another boss fight," Neptune groaned. "Well, can't be helped, I guess... c'mon, P-ko."

"OK!" Peashy agreed, the two making their way up the trail...

_*A few minutes later...*_

"Ugh, feels hard for Pea to breathe!" Peashy grunted as they continued their climb.

"Yeah, the air gets thin when you climb really high up," Neptune grunted. "Just have to pace yourself..." Just then, she heard faint punching and kicking sounds. "Uh-oh, I think that Undyne's not too far ahead... P-ko, try to stay quiet," she lowered her voice. "Maybe if we're lucky, we can sneak past her..."

"Okay," Peashy whispered back. The two slowly crept further up the trail, until a monster came into view... she appeared to be a navy blue-skinned fish monster with a hominid body structure, with wild red hair done up in a ponytail, and an eyepatch over her right eye, dressed in a black tank top and grey shorts. Currently said monster was facing a training dummy that resembled an orange hairy monster with googly eyes stuck near the top.

"You want some, Mr. Hairy?!" the monster who could be none other than Undyne snarled at her 'opponent'. "How about this?!" she laid into the dummy with rapid fire fistcuffs, then a kick to the 'groin'. "Still standing?! We can can fix that!" Holding out her hand, she materialized a spear made of water, before rushing the dummy and and slashing upward, ripping it in two and sending faux hair flying everywhere! "That's what you get for messing with Undyne! Oh-ho-ho-ho!"

("Yikes, talk about hardcore,") Neptune whispered. ("Let's see if we can find another way up to the top...")

("Okay, Neptuna,") Peashy whispered back... but then some of the dummy's hair floated into her face! "Ah, ahhh..."

("P-ko, NO!")

"Hah-CHOO!" Peashy's sneeze echoed over the mountain air.

_(Music- 'Spear of Justice', Undertale)_

"Who's there?!" Undyne turned toward the sound, holding her spear at the ready. "AH-HA! I see you! Unless that rock's suddenly grown some purple hair, which I doubt!"

"Crappers...!" Neptune groaned as she and Peashy came out of hiding, hands raised.

"Huh? Humans?! Just what are YOU doing all the way up here?!" Undyne growled.

"We don't got a quarrel with you!" Neptune babbled. "We're just tryin' to get to the top of the mountain!"

"Yeah, so we can get on that airship that the bad guys stole, Miss Undyne!" Peashy added.

"...Wait a minute... HOW did you know my name?!" Undyne demanded.

"Mr. Paper-Us told us!" Peashy answered. "He drove us all the way up here! Right, Neptuna?"

"Papyrus did?" Undyne gave an aside glance, the grip on her spear loosening up slightly. "Tch, that guy's way too nice for his own good... but, I hate humans! ...with one or two exceptions, but still! You think you can just walk right past me?! That's not how these things work! I've read all your human history! The only way this ends is in a _fight!_ Fuhuhuhuhu!"

"Neptuna, can't we just transform and fly away?" Peashy asked.

"Transform?!" Undyne grunted. "What, are you some kind of magical girls or something?! You gonna try to turn me to dust with giant hearts or something?! That won't work on the likes of _me!"_

"Uh, no," Neptune sweat-dropped. "Actually, P-ko and I are goddesses..."

"GODDESSES?! _Gahhahahaha!"_ Undyne laughed. "What a crock! If you were goddesses then you could just smite me with lightning from heaven, couldn't you?!"

A light bulb suddenly went off in Neptune's head. "Lightning?! Nah, I smite blasphemers with something more practical! _Access!"_ a pillar of light engulfed her as she transformed to HDD, before intoning, _"32-bit Mega Blade!"_

A large sword flew down from the sky, just barely missing Undyne as it embedded in the rock! "HOLY CRAP!" Undyne screamed in shock, looking at Purple Heart with a wide eye! "You... you really are a goddess! Th-that means...OH MY GOD! ANIME IS REAL! JUST WAIT UNTIL ALPHYS HEARS ABOUT THIS!"

"Hears about what? W-what are you shouting about this time, Undyne?" Another female voice spoke up, a yellow-skinned monster with a cartoony triceratops head, glasses and a lab coat walking into view. "Oh my god- er, goddess! Are you the CPU goddess Purple Heart?!"

"You know her?!" Undyne turned to the new arrival incredulously.

"I've read all about her on the Internet- er, Inter-nep! Oh, I'm Dr. Alphys, by the way!" she introduced herself. "Undyne wasn't giving you any trouble, was she?"

"...I am willing to forgive her transgressions, due to ignorance on her part," Purple Heart stated.

"But only if she says sorry!" Peashy jumped in.

"Oh, dear," Alphys sighed. "Undyne, hurry up and apologize! Do you want to be struck down?!"

"Argh!" Undyne grimaced, before reluctantly bowing from the waist. "Okay, I'm very sorry I blasphemed against a goddess, and will never do it again!"

"Apology accepted," Purple Heart nodded with a smile. "Well, now that the formalities have been dispensed with..." Another flash of light as she reverted to normal. "Phew, that's better! Sorry, but transforming takes a lot of energy, so I usually go around in this form! You can just call me Neptune, by the way. And this is Peashy, my... adopted daughter, I guess you could say."

"That's right! Pea knows Neptuna since Pea was a baby!" Peashy said with a grin. "And Pea loves Neptuna lots!"

"Oh, that's so sweet!" Alphys smiled. "But, um... Lady Neptune, was it? Might I ask why you're here? I thought your domain was on the western part of the northern continent..."

"Heyyy, that's right!" Undyne's expression turned suspicious again. "What's a goddess doing out of her domain? And dragging such a tiny kid along no less!"

"Pea's not just a tiny kid! Pea can transform, too!" Peashy protested, transforming to HDD herself to prove her point.

"What the hell...?!" Undyne's eye bugged out at seeing Yellow Heart's _very_ ample bosom. "...Please tell me this isn't one of those H-animes!"

"No, no, no hardcore lewd stuff, I promise," Neptune sighed. "P-ko's this way because some bad guys modified her body when they kidnapped her awhile back... I was forced to fight her, several times, even! Thank goodness we figured out how break the brainwashing..."

_"Oh,_ I get it," Undyne heaved a sigh of relief. "Brainwash the tagalong kid and give her an evil, sexy transformation... I've seen _that_ trope before!"

"Yellow's not evil!" Yellow Heart protested. "I'm one of the good guys!"

"Of course you are," Alphys quickly spoke up. "We're just saying, your transformation's a bit... _distracting,_ so maybe you could go back to normal now, please?"

"You heard the dinosaur, P-ko," Neptune affirmed. "We gotta save our HDD for the real bad guys, anyway..."

"Aw... okay," Peashy sighed as she reverted.

"Anyway, we're here in Leanbox because Vert's- er, Green Heart's bodyguard was goin' through some rough times, so P-ko and I were trying to comfort her, and then blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda..." Neptune explained.

"What is she saying?!" Undyne grunted in confusion.

"Oh, this happens when they're trying to speed up exposition," Alphys realized. "It seems these CPUs, despite competing economically, are willing to help each other out personally, and even band together when a world-threatening crisis strikes! But these villains they're currently pursuing are convinced that the CPUs are getting too lazy to do their duties properly..."

"Is that so?! Hmph, they could've just asked me! I'd be _more_ than willing to whip 'em back into shape!" Undyne exclaimed.

"Oh trust me, I've gotten plenty of exercise hiking up this trail," Neptune deadpanned. "Then again, maybe that was the _point_... oooh, those devious villains!"

"So, about that airship," Alphys began, "I tried sending a drone up there to check it out, but it was shot down by some sort of laser. I'm just glad Mettaton didn't see that, he'd have been mocking me relentlessly..."

"Not on my watch, he wouldn't!" Undyne asserted. "Okay, so you need to get up to that airship, huh? Okay then! I guess we'll take you to the summit and plan our next move there! There's a way simple enough that even nerds can climb it!"

"It's still a bit tiring, though..." Alphys sighed. "For me, anyway..."

"I told you you have to start building your wind, at least," Undyne sighed in a surprisingly considerate tone of voice. "Anyway, time's wasting! Let's get up there!"

_*Soon, at the summit...*_

"Fuhuhuhu! _Top of the world!"_ Undyne called, her voice echoing all over.

"Phew, we made it," Alphys gasped, short of breath. "And there's that airship..." Indeed, the AffimaX airship was slowly flying in a circle about a half-mile above.

"So, if we try to just fly up, we'll get blasted by lasers..." Neptune mused.

"Actually, there was only one laser," Alphys stated, "and according to my observation, it didn't appear to be from a turret... more likely, somebody on deck has a laser rifle of some sort..."

"Generic Soldier #20. Gotta be," Neptune muttered.

"So Mr. Adrian IS up there!" Peashy exclaimed. "We gotta get up there so we can tell him he got tricked by Mom-Us!"

"So, a loyal soldier tricked into helping the villains... yep, seen that trope before, too," Undyne asserted. "Hey Alphys, got any more of those drones? Maybe you could fly one up as a distraction..."

"Um, not drones, but I do have a couple of rocket packs!" Alphys pointed to the equipment laying nearby. "Um, but I'm not sure I could aim it properly without it being strapped to someone..."

"All you gotta do is launch it straight up! How hard can that be?!" Undyne growled. "I didn't fall in love with you just because we both like anime, ya know!"

"Undyne! Not here...!" Alphys squeaked, blushing furiously, as she buried her face in her hands.

"Yeah, but given how experienced a soldier Adrian is, that might not be enough..." Neptune closed her eyes in thought... then an idea came to her. "Hey Undyne, you think you're strong enough to throw something up to that airship...?"

"Am I strong enough...?!" Undyne grinned in anticipation.

_*AffirmaX Airship, Outer Deck*_

Generic Soldier #20 looked out over the railing seeing a few objects moving on the Mt. Ebott summit, one with a familiar purple color... "Looks like Lady Neptune's here," he muttered to himself, subconsciously checking his laser rifle- the same one that had been stolen from Uni's vault way back. "Well, let's see how you deal with my sharpshooting skills..." Just then he saw something launch from the summit, twin trails of smoke emitting from the bottom... "A jetpack? Not good enough!" He took aim and fired, the laser easily blowing the rocket pack to smithereens!

"...wheeeeeeee...!"

"Huh...?" Adrian looked up, seeing a yellow object flying in his direction-

**BAM!** The armored soldier was nailed dead-on by the object, getting thrown into the wall as a result! "Ahhahahaha! I got you, Mr. Adrian!"

"Wha... _Citrus?!"_ Soldier #20 grunted as he sat back up, Peashy sliding down into his lap. "What are you doing here...?"

_*To be continued...*_

Next, Neptune and Peashy raid the AffirmaX airship! But what will Ho-Hum have ready to combat them? Stay tuned!


	47. Chapter 46- Blade Duel on the Deck

Got set back when I forgot to save my draft, then I was sidetracked by my new story 'Fate/Kyon's Order', but I finally got this done!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 46- Blade Duel on the Deck

_*Mt. Ebott Summit*_

"Hey, quick question before we get this party started," Undyne grunted as she lifted up Peashy in her arms. "Do you guys, like, have giant flying robot mechas and stuff?"

"Eh, we've got one or two big robots, but they don't fly," Neptune said. "The aliens that just arrived, on the other hand..."

_"Aliens?!_ You have aliens, too?!" Undyne's good eye nearly bugged out.

"They just arrived, First Contact and all that stuff," Neptune expounded. "That's why Vert's not here- she's keeping an eye on the aliens in case the bad guys try to attack them again..."

"O-oh my, they must be quite confident of their abilities if they're assaulting the aliens!" Alphys stammered as she adjusted the jetpack.

"Let's just say they know how to pick and choose their fights for the most part," Neptune said. "Alright, launch whenever you're ready!"

"Okay!" Alphys nodded, pulling a remote control from her lab coat. "Step back a little, please... okay, launching jetpack in 3, 2, 1!" She hit the launch button, the jetpack igniting and shooting into the sky! "Now, Undyne!"

_"Heave-ho!"_ Undyne hurled Peashy up into the air, just as the laser lashed out and blew the jetpack to smithereens!

"Wheeeeeeee!" Peashy squealed as she sailed through the air... looking down, she saw a black man-like shape on the airship's outer deck, angling herself to meet him!

**BAM!** Direct hit! "Ahhahahaha! I got you, Mr. Adrian!"

"Wha... _Citrus?!"_ Soldier #20 grunted as he sat back up, Peashy sliding down into his lap. "What are you doing here...?"

"Mr. Adrian, we made a big mistake!" Peashy waved her cat-paws up and down. "Mom-Us is a bad guy! He tried to blow up the base with me and Neptuna and everyone in it! You gotta stop working for him!"

Adrian sighed and shook his head. "Citrus... no, Peashy. I know what you mean, but I have my reasons for continuing to work for Momus..."

"In that case, I would like to hear them," a contralto female voice spoke up, Purple Heart soon touching down on the deck. "While Vert and myself have already deduced some of your motivations, I would like to hear it from your own lips..."

"Lady Purple Heart," Adrian nodded in acknowledgement. "Peashy, get off, please." Peashy promptly obeyed, the soldier climbing to his feet, leaving his laser rifle on the floor. "I'm sure you know by now that the former Demon Lord Lilithmon has been recruited into this organization... and she's already gone behind Overlord Momus' back once. So yes, I'm here to supervise her..."

"But how did Momus recruit you to begin with?" Purple Heart pressed. "You seemed to be one of the most loyal soldiers I've seen, in Leanbox's army or any other..."

"I admit I refused Momus when he first made the offer," Adrian began, "but when he revealed his true identity to me, I realized he was someone I could trust..."

"Huh? You mean Mom-Us is really someone else?!" Peashy's eyes went blank. "Who? Who is it?!"

"Now, now P-ko, that's not the sort of thing you reveal in the middle of the story," Purple Heart gently chastised. "The villain's true identity usually isn't revealed until near the end, after all..."

"I thank you for your genre savvy, Lady Neptune," Adrian nodded. "But why are you here, and not Lady Vert?"

"In a way, it's your fault," Neptune said as she reverted to normal. "P-ko and I had to spend a few days with Big Peashy to get her back on her feet, after she freaked out hearin' about you joining the bad guys..."

"Urgh, I was afraid of that," Adrian bowed his head in apparent shame. "But, I've made my choice, and I have to deal with the consequences... even if means she leaves me forever. This isn't like the misunderstanding we had with Keisha, after all..."

"K-Sha," Neptune corrected. "So, does the evil demon kitty have a bunch of traps waiting for us inside?"

"That information isn't going to come for free," Adrian warned. "After all, I am a member of Ho-Hum, so I at least have to go through the motions..." He then activated his double-pronged energy blade. "I am Generic Soldier #20 of Ho-Hum! I challenge you to a blade duel!"

"Challenge accepted!" Neptune agreed, equipping her katana. "P-ko, stay back. This is between me and the Master Chief ripoff!"

"Okay!" Peashy agreed, backing up to the railing. "Kick his butt, Neptuna!"

"I'll show you a ripoff!" Soldier #20 growled as he charged in with a horizontal slash, Neptune easily parrying! He pressed the attack with several slashes from different directions, slowly forcing Neptune back! But then the CPU broke away and retaliated with a_ Cross Combination,_ leaving several scratches on Adrian's black armor!

"Go, Neptuna!" Peashy cheered. Adrian, however, had kept his feet, easily deflecting the follow-up slice before kicking Neptune in the calf, bringing her down to a knee! Neptune managed to block an overhead slash, shoving Soldier #20 off, then rolling and backflipping to get some distance! She stood ready as Adrian charged her again, their blades clashing... Neptune then broke the lock, going for a vertical slice-

-only for Soldier #20 to catch Neptune's katana between the twin prongs of his energy blade, twisting and chopping over half the steel blade off! "Fish sticks...!" Neptune grunted as she took a few steps back, staring in disbelief at her wrecked stump of a sword.

"You disappoint me, Lady Neptune," Soldier #20 shook his head. "I expected better of a main character such as you..."

"You better!" Neptune shot back, tossing her wrecked katana away, before suddenly pulling out _another_ sword, this one a laser blade! "I learned from my fight from Dogoo Man back in Planeptune!" She immediately went on the attack again, Adrian being caught off-guard from the sudden reversal and getting forced back as a result, barely parrying the CPU's strikes! _"Critical Edge!"_ she intoned, attacking with a downward slash, an upward slash, and finishing with a horizontal cut that knocked the energy blade out Adrian's hands, which broke apart upon impact with the airship hull! "Checkmate!"

"Ah..." Adrian promptly fell to a knee, bowing his head. "Well done, Lady Neptune. I yield."

"Yaaay!" Peashy jumped and punched the air in joy.

"At least you know when you're beaten, unlike some bad guys," Neptune pointed her sword at him with a triumphant smirk. "So, as agreed, spill the beans!"

"As you wish," Adrian assented. "BlackGatomon is in the control room, naturally, and she has the Tenga patrolling throughout the ship. She also has possession of Affimojas' Nega-Share broadsword, so HDD is a no-go past this point."

"Ugh, just great," Neptune sighed in frustration. "Anything else?"

"Yes. The virus you know as 'Keramon' has evolved further, into Chrysalimon. It has an extremely hard carapace, so your regular attacks will only do scratch damage at best. BlackGatomon likely has it set up as the 'boss' of this airship."

"But, Pea can punch really hard!" Peashy cut in. "So Pea will just punch it to pieces! Pow! Bam! Whack!"

"You can try..." Adrian sighed, standing back to his feet. "Anyway, I won't hinder your path anymore. Good luck, Lady Neptune, little Peashy."

"Thanks," Neptune nodded. "C'mon, P-ko, time to raid this airship!" Walking up to the door into the ship proper, she promptly slashed it open, she and Peashy cautiously heading inside...

_*To be continued...*_

Next, the airship raid! What devious traps does BlackGatomon have planned for Neptune and Peashy? Will our protagonist and tagalong kid prevail? Will they be bailed out by a new arrival? Find out next chapter! ;)


	48. Chapter 47- Airship Raid!

My muse is burned out for 'Fate/Kyon's Order', so back to this story! ;-)

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 47- Airship Raid!

_*AffimaX Airship- Bridge*_

BlackGatomon was lounging in the pilot's seat, bored out of her skull... "Honestly, how long does it take for that Vert to stop playing her 4GO and get up here..." She was seriously contemplating taking a catnap when an alert suddenly popped up. "Huh? Outer door breached?" Switching on the camera feed, she saw Neptune and Peashy enter the airship... "Wait, Neptune's here, meow? And Citrus? ...Well, that's fine. I would've won against Vert and the Rangers if she hadn't interfered... and I want to get back at that brat for 'playing' with me, meow..." She shuddered as she recalled Peashy playing 'football' with her... Switching on the intercom, she ordered, "Hey Tenga, our guests are here! Get off your tail-feathers and go greet them, meow!"

_*AffimaX Airship- Hangar 1*_

"So where do we go, Neptuna?" Peashy asked as the two entered the left room from the entrance.

"Well, if I remember right, there's Hangar 1, Hangar 2, then the bridge," Neptune recalled. "So we go left, then up, then right, left... I think. Just follow me and watch my back, 'kay?"

"OK!" Peashy nodded, looking behind her. "No bad guys yet!"

So they proceeded down a narrow hallway, making a right down another hallway, then another right into a larger room... "There they are, caww!"

_(Music- 'Tenga Bye Bye', Power Rangers season 3)_

"Fight time, P-ko!" Neptune declared as she brandished her sword.

"Yay! Time to beat up the birds! _Hi-yah!"_ Peashy yelled as she hit a Tenga in the solar plexus with a double-footed dropkick, sending him tumbling to the far wall! Another one tried to jump on her, but Peashy kicked him up into the ceiling, rolling away as the bird collapsed into a heap!

"Gah! Even as a kid, Citrus is tough!" one Tenga observed as he dodged a sword swing from Neptune.

"Imaging having to raise her!" Neptune taunted as she bisected a Tenga diagonally! One grabbed her from behind, another going in for the attack, only for the CPU to lift her legs and double-kick the Tenga away, before flipping the one that grabbed her over her head! "Too predictable!" she snarked as she stabbed the Tenga she'd flipped, which promptly dissolved into 1s and 0s.

Meanwhile, Peashy uppercut another Tenga into the ceiling, then clobbered another one with her _Bratty Rotating Punch!_ "Haha! Too bad you bad birds can't fly!"

"No, but we can run! Fall back to the upper floor!" With that the Tenga dispersed, fleeing out the far door!

"Yay! We won!" Peashy cheered.

"For now," Neptune said, putting her laser sword away. "We gotta take it slow, though... there might be some traps that weren't here last time..." So the duo cautiously proceed north, then east into a wide hallway... "Uh-oh, looks like we got more trouble!" Sure enough, there was another Tenga a short distance away, piloting a bi-pedal ride armor with large fists!

_(Music- 'Boss Fight', Mega Man X)_

"Caww-ha-ha-haaa! Let's see how you two goddesses handle this!" The ride armor promptly charged forward, Neptune and Peashy barely rolling out of the way!

(The cockpit is open!) Neptune observed. "P-ko, when I say 'now', step on my hands! I'm gonna give you a boost up so you can attack the bird directly!"

"Okay!" Peashy nodded, running up to Neptune as she knelt and cupped her hands together...

"You're mine, caww!" The Tenga cried as he turned and charged again!

_"Now!"_ Peashy stepped onto Neptune's cupped hands, the protagonist promptly heaving her up and over her head, Peashy flipping in mid-air and nailing the Tenga with a drop-kick, knocking him out of the cockpit! Without a pilot, the ride armor halted and slumped into a sitting position.

"Take that, and that and that!" Peashy cried happily as she pummeled the Tenga with her cat paws!

"Get offa me!" the raven yelled, managing to shove Peashy off and right himself, only for his beady eyes to go wide as Neptune jumped into the ride armor and started it back up! "Uh-oh...!"

"You can dish it out, but can ya take it?!" Neptune queried with a savage grin, charging forward and nailing the Tenga with the ride armor's fist, knocking him back into the wall and decompiling him instantly! "Guess not. Hey, P-ko, hop on! We're gonna go for a ride!"

"Yaaaaay!" Peashy cheered as she climbed up and into the cockpit with Neptune.

_*Back on the bridge...*_

"Ugh, you stupid _idiots!"_ BlackGatomon face-pawed at seeing Neptune commandeer the ride armor on the security camera feed. Fortunately the other Tenga were smart enough to flee once they saw the ride armor coming at them, though the same couldn't be said for the security robots. "Well, at least she won't be able to take that up to the next level, meow... Hey, you done yet?"

"Ssssss," Chrysalimon grunted as it sawed at it's master's collar... then, the lights on the collar abruptly went out, the collar itself detaching and falling to the ground with a clang!

"Ah, that's SO much better!" BlackGatomon rolled her head around, massaging her neck a little. "Good thing I thought to have the Tenga sneak a jammer on board with us! That witch won't even realize I'm free until it's too late, meow!"

"Ssssss!" Chrysalimon made a happy noise.

"Alright, get back down to Hangar 2! Those CPUs will show up any minute!" BlackGatomon ordered, Chrysalimon obeying and leaving the control room. "Hmm, doesn't feel like I have the energy to Digivolve to Mega form yet... Oh well, those goddesses won't be able to transform, either, so my Ultimate form should be enough if things really go bad, meow..."

_*AffimaX Airship- Hangar 2*_

"Well, that was a fun ride," Neptune sighed as she and Peashy stepped off the elevator. "But we're gonna have to go on foot from here on out... Stay alert, P-ko."

"Right, Neptuna!" Peashy nodded as they came to an intersection... but then a security bot flew in from the left path, firing lasers at the duo! Neptune, however, simply deflected a laser with her blade, the ricochet blasting off part of the robot's torso! Neptune then cut it down easily. "Yikes, that was close!" Peashy commented.

"Case in point," Neptune sighed as she checked to make sure the bot didn't reactivate. "Right, let's keep going..." They took the right path, then left, emerging into another open space, where more Tenga awaited them!

"We gotta make our stand here!" the Tenga declared. "Ride armor won't save you this time, caww!"

"Don't need it to deal with you bird brains!" Neptune shot back as she and Peashy stood ready. "Let's beat 'em up, P-ko!" With that, they charged the ravens!

_*On the bridge...*_

BlackGatomon observed the fight on the camera feed, soon realizing that the battle was going against her minions... Clicking on the intercom, she ordered, "Tenga, retreat! This fight isn't worth throwing your lives away for, meow! Get outta there!" On cue, the birds fled once again, leaving Neptune and Peashy standing alone.

"Well, that's a surprise. Since when does an ex-Demon Lord start caring about her minions?" Neptune taunted.

"Since it takes a lot of energy to copy-and-paste a bunch of replacements!" the Digimon retorted. "Just because I'm evil doesn't mean I can't be pragmatic, meow!"

"You bad kitty!" Peashy yelled. "Pea's gonna smack you hard, then put you in a kitty cage!"

_"Hisssss,_ in a cage?! Last time was bad enough, meow!" BlackGatomon raged, before getting a hold of herself. "(ahem) Anyway, I highly doubt you two can even make it to the bridge, seeing as my most powerful and loyal minion awaits you!"

"You mean that Chris-sally-mon monster? Yeah, Adrian spilled the beans on that already," Neptune snarked.

"Guess I'll have to report him to Momus for insubordination, meow!" BlackGatomon noted. "But, good luck trying to fight that thing without your HDD, meow! _Hahahahaha!"_ The intercom then cut off. "Ugh, that evil laugh doesn't sound nearly as intimidating when I'm not evolved, meow..."

_*To be continued...*_

Next, the fight with Chrysalimon! Can Neptune and Peashy prevail? Stay tuned, and review!


	49. Chapter 48- VS Chrysalimon

Time for a major boss battle!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 48- VS Chrysalimon

_*AffimaX Airship- Hangar 2, Center Room*_

Neptune and Peashy entered cautiously, keeping their eyes peeled... "Hmm, this is where we fought Steamax last time... betcha that Chris-sally-mon pops up any moment..."

_"Ssssss!"_ a noise was heard, Peashy putting up her dukes as the duo looked up, seeing Chrysalimon drop down in front of them, it's thin limbs splayed out to look more intimidating!

"It kinda looks like that scary virus from before!" the child CPU observed.

"It IS the same virus, you stupid kid!" BlackGatomon chastised over the intercom. "Chrysalimon, destroy them!"

_(Music- 'Crash', Mega Man Zero)_

"Sss!" Chrysalimon grunted as it lashed out with it's six limbs, tearing Neptune's and Peashy's shirts as they barely dodged!

"Pretty fast for a cocoon!" Neptune said, "But not fast enough! _Cross Combination!"_ While the sword combo forced Chrysalimon back slightly, it only ended up with light scratches on it's hard shell! "Neppit! Adrian was right!" she grunted as she backflipped away from the Digimon's retaliatory attack! "P-ko, give it the o'l drop kick!"

"Okay, Neptuna! Here I come!" Peashy cried as she ran and nailed Chrysalimon with a double-footed kick that sent it tumbling away! "Did I get it?"

_"Saaaaa!"_ Chrysalimon hissed as it righted itself, shooting dark energy at the duo!

"I think you just made it mad!" Neptune cried as she and Peashy desperately dodged! As they retreated to the far wall, Neptune squeaked as sharp spikes suddenly poked out from said wall, barely avoiding getting her eyes gouged! "Yeow! Affimojas must've upgraded the defenses!"

"Hahahaha! There's no escape, meow!" BlackGatomon taunted as Chrysalimon closed in!

"Whadda we do, Neptuna?!" Peashy clung to Neptune's leg in fear.

(We gotta get behind it!) Neptune thought, (Then, maybe...!) "P-ko, I'm gonna try and heave you up and over, okay? Then hit it from behind!"

"Okay," Peashy agreed.

"But first-!" Neptune used her sword to parry Chrysalimon's lashing out with it's long limbs! "Okay, now!" Quickly kneeling and cupping her hands, Peashy stepped onto them, getting flipped backward over and behind Chrysalimon! Wasting no time, the child CPU slammed into Chrysalimon from behind with another drop kick-

-slamming it into the spikes as Neptune rolled aside, the Digimon crying out in pain! "Yay! We hurt it!" Peashy cheered.

"Oh no!" BlackGatomon realized. "How did I not see that coming, meow?!"

"Too bad, demon kitty! Looks like your minion has fallen victim to the 'hazardous arena' trope!" Neptune taunted as she parried more attacks from Chrysalimon... only to get blown back by a dark energy blast, tumbling head over heels! "Oww... that'll teach me to pay attention..."

"Don't hurt Neptuna!" Peashy cried in distress, hitting Chrysalimon with her _Bratty Rotating Punch,_ slamming it into the spikes several times!

"Argh! Retract! Where's the 'retract spikes' button, meow?!" BlackGatomon grunted as she frantically searched the control panel... "Oh no... don't tell me... it's automatic?!"

"Remind me to thank that ex-robo-villain later!" Neptune said as she and Peashy threw themselves to the ground, as Chrysalimon spun around and around, flailing it's limbs in every direction out of desperation! Eventually, however, it tired out, allowing Neptune and Peashy to simultaneously body-slam the Digimon into the spikes, it's hard carapace cracking completely, collapsing to the ground, crying in pain!

_(Neptunia Victory Jingle!)_

"Yay! We beat the virus monster!" Peashy cheered.

"Heh, wasn't too hard once we figured out the gimmick," Neptune sighed in mild relief. "Got anything else for us, demon kitty? If not, we're comin' on up!"

"Dammit, this can't be happening!" BlackGatomon cried in anguish. _"Chrysalimonnnnn!"_

"...sssss...ma...ma..." Chrysalimon grunted, a tear falling from one it's eyes... it couldn't end this way, It would NOT let it's mother down! "Sssssrrrrr**RRRRAAAHHHH!"** It screamed it as it was suddenly enveloped in a white glow!

"What the nep?!" Neptune gasped as she and Peashy backed off a little... despite the light, she was able to observe the outer shell crack apart completely, a new creature crawling out, resembling a giant spider! The glow then faded, revealing a white mask-like face with yellow eyes and large black pupils, a red-and-white body, and eight spindly limbs with sharp yellow claws!

_(Music- 'Maverick Battle,' Mega Man X2)_

"Fish sticks and chips! Me and my big mouth!" Neptune exclaimed. "I forgot one of the standard rules of boss battles: If it seems too easy, that usually means a second phase!"

_"Hahahahaha!_ Behold the Ultimate-level Digimon, _Infermon!"_ BlackGatomon laughed in relief and triumph. "Now, kill them both!"

"Yessss, motherrrr," Infermon hissed, abruptly retracting it's legs and charging Neptune at high speed, the protagonist barely throwing herself to the ground in time! Stopping at the far end of the chamber, Infermon turned and fired several mouth blasts, Neptune and Peashy quickly jumping and dancing to avoid them!

"P-Pea's not scared of a g-giant spider!" Peashy yelled. "Take THAT!" She promptly ran at the Digimon and hit it with a drop kick, but only managed to shift it's body slightly from the impact! "Uh-oh..."

"Isss that all you can do...?" Infermon turned to glare Peashy in the eye.

"G-get awaaaayyy!" Peashy squealed as she lashed out with her _Bratty Rotating Punch,_ pounding the spider in the head repeatedly!

"P-ko, get outta there!" Neptune cried as she ran over, only to watch in horror as the child CPU was blasted away with more mouth blasts! Rushing to her side, she saw that Peashy had a few holes in her shirt, with bad skin burns underneath!

"You'rrrrrre nexsssst!" Infermon hissed as it fired again, the shots deflected by Neptune's laser sword!

"I don't think so! You'll pay for hurting P-ko!" Neptune cried with tears in her eyes._ "Cross Combination!"_ Infermon was forced back slightly from the furious slashing, though it didn't seem to suffer any discernible damage. Infermon tried to retaliate with another _Spider Shooter,_ but Neptune easily backflipped and dodged! _"32-bit Mega Blade!"_ she intoned next, but Infermon managed to skitter away before the giant sword could impale it! The spider then retracted it's limbs and shot forward again, hitting Neptune dead-on and sending her tumbling away!

Fortunately, Neptune managed to stop before hitting the spikes on the wall, holding her ribcage as she tried to regain her senses... but when her vision cleared, she saw Infermon pinning Peashy to the floor! "Now, time to feassssst!" it cackled...

_"HALP MEEEE!"_ Peashy screamed in terror, struggling to no avail!

_**"P-KO!"**_ Neptune cried as she tried to will her body forward, despite knowing she wouldn't make it in time...

_"Sylhet Spear!"_ A massive spear suddenly shot from behind and beside Neptune, nailing Infermon and knocking it off Peashy!

_(Music- 'Purple Heart Theme', Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory)_

"What?!" BlackGatomon gasped in shock.

"I think not!" a refined female voice spoke, it's green-haired busty owner soon floating into Neptune's field of vision. "Sorry I'm late, Neptune." She quickly flew over to the fallen Peashy, gently picking her up and bringing her back to Neptune. "You poor thing, little Peashy... don't worry, Vert's here now."

"I-it hurts, Bert..." Peashy grunted as Green Heart set her down on her back.

"Here, this'll help," Neptune took out a potion and held it up to Peashy's mouth. "C'mon, drink it down..."

_"Hsssss!"_ Infermon righted itself, attempting to fire on the CPUs, only for Vert to easily deflect it's shots by twirling her spear!

"You look after Peashy, I'll swat this arachnid!" the busty CPU asserted, charging forth to do battle!

"This can't be happening!" BlackGatomon cried in distress. "You shouldn't be able to transform with the Nega-Share sword active!"

"Sorry, but that only works with normal HDD," Vert asserted as she deflected more energy blasts! "If you bothered to look closer, you'd easily see that I am in my NEXT Form!"

"Oh yeah, she did seem a bit skimpier on the outfit than usual," Neptune realized, lifting Peashy into a sitting position as the healing potion took effect, her burns vanishing. "You OK, P-ko?"

"Blech! That tasted terrible!" Peashy made a face.

"It's medicine, it's not supposed to taste good," Neptune deadpanned. The two then looked back to Vert, who was easily parrying claw swipes from Infermon!

"Dieeeeee!" Infermon cried as it retracted it's limbs and charged again, but Vert easily flash-stepped aside, the Digimon crashing into the wall as a result! Wasting no time, NEXT Green fired an _Inbetween Spear_ at the enemy, pelting it with several pointed energy projectiles, ending with a larger one that knocked it over on it's side! Quickly righting itself, Infermon tried to fire another _Spider Shooter,_ only for NEXT Green to easily deflect the attack with her _Purpurascens Burst_ technique, her final thrust nailing Infermon in the face!

"Time to end this! _Kinestra Slash!"_ NEXT Green cried, hitting the Digimon with an impossibly fast 16-hit combo! Infermon cried out in agony as it collapsed, several slash marks visible on it's body and limbs!

_"NO!_ Infermon, get out of there! Use the terminal!" BlackGatomon ordered, the spider promptly dissolving into data bits that flowed into a nearby monitor and vanished! "Tenga, abandon ship! Abandon ship!" The intercom promptly cut off, indicating that the black cat was beating feet as well!

_(Neptunia Victory Jingle!)_

"You better run, you bad kitty!" Peashy yelled at the ceiling. "And your stupid spider, too! _Pbbbbbtt!"_

"Peashy, that's enough," NEXT Green gently admonished as she floated over. "Are you all right?"

"Pea's fine," Peashy nodded. "Thanks for helping me, Bert. But I still love Neptuna more!"

Neptune couldn't help but snicker at seeing Vert's face fall. "(ahem) Anyway, Vert, what happened to looking after the aliens?"

"I lied," Vert stated matter-of-factly as she reverted to normal. "Haruhi herself would be more than enough to deal with any surprise attacks... but I wanted to catch Ho-Hum off-guard in case you faltered or fell into a trap. Not that I didn't have any confidence in your abilities, mind you..."

"I see, so ya snuck after us in secret, huh?" Neptune mused. "That's fine, I guess, but did ya have to steal my HDD theme for your big entrance?"

"Well, my fight theme wouldn't have fit the mood very well," Vert shrugged. "Besides, you _are_ here, so it's not like it was completely out of context... anyway, let us proceed to the bridge, throw out that Negative Share sword, and then start piloting this ship back to Leanbox City..."

_*Outer Deck*_

Adrian watched as several Tenga took flight from the ship... "Looks like Lady Neptune and Lady Vert succeeded," he nodded to himself. His conversation with Vert had been brief, the CPU again warning him that he would answer to Peach for what he had pulled... "Well, guess I better evac as well," he grunted as he picked up his laser rifle, activating his jetpack and flying off...

But then, his jetpack began making strange noises, before sputtering out! _"Oh shiiiiiiiitttt!"_ he screamed as he fell uncontrollably to the mountain below...

_*To be continued...*_

Uh-oh, looks like a double-cross! Will Adrian survive, or become a bloody smear on the mountainside?! Stay tuned!


	50. Chapter 49- Double-Cross!

Time to find out Adrian's fate...

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 49- Double-Cross!

_*Mt. Ebott, near the summit*_

"Undyne, look!" Alphys pointed at the Tenga fleeing through the sky.

"Hah! Looks like those goddesses made those birds fly the coop!" Undyne half-snarked. "Wait, what's that...?"

_"...shiiiiiiiiitt-!"_

"It's falling-! _It's a human!"_ Alphys realized in horror.

"Dammit!" Undyne cursed as she quickly climbed a nearby rock, then made a high leap- and caught the armored man! "-Ugh! Gotcha!" she grunted as they landed safely.

"I'm alive!" Adrian gasped in relief. Looking over at his savior, he said, "I don't care if you're a monster, I owe you big-time!"

"Whatever," Undyne muttered as she unceremoniously dumped Adrian on the ground. "Let's make one thing clear, human- the _only_ reason I saved you is because of a human kid who would never forgive me if I didn't! Got it?"

"Fine, as long as I live to see another day," Adrian shrugged. Seeing his laser rifle fallen nearby, he made his way over the rocks to retrieve it. "Well, looks like it's still in good shape... Uni sure knows how to pick 'em..."

"Why were you falling, anyway?" Alphys asked. "Did one of those birds drop you...?"

"No, my jetpack was sabotaged," Adrian grunted as he detached said jetpack and set it down. "It seems my old enemy decided to double-cross me..."

"Old enemy?" Undyne raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, _me!"_ The trio looked up, seeing a black cat piloting a small circular hovercraft with drills attached to the sides! "I can't believe you didn't let him go splat on the rocks, meow! What kind of monsters are you?!"

"The kind that doesn't take orders from tiny kitties!" Undyne shot back defiantly. "So, did you brainwash this soldier into doing your bidding?!"

"Please, he was recruited before I was!" BlackGatomon rolled her eyes. "But there's no way I'm letting you report my betrayal to Overlord Momus, meow!" With that, she flew a little further up, drilling into the rocks below!

_(Music- 'Act 2 Boss', Sonic the Hedgehog 3)_

**"Oh no!** She's going to trigger an avalanche!" Alphys deduced. Sure enough, the mountain began to shake ominously!

"Get outta here, Alphys!" Undyne yelled, grabbing her girlfriend and throwing her out of the line of fire!

_"UNDYYYYNNNEE!"_ Alphys cried in horror as Undyne and Adrian started sliding down the mountainside with a bunch of boulders!

_"Hahahaha!_ So much for Generic Soldier #20!" BlackGatomon crowed in triumph as she flew away. "Now, to rejoin with my minions!"

_"Not so fast, Demon Lord!"_ Adrian's voice called out, BlackGatomon looking over the side in shock and disbelief, beholding Undyne wearing a jetpack and carrying the armored soldier in her arms!

"Good thing Alphys had this other rocket-pack!" Undyne grunted.

"NO! Why won't you** die?!"** BlackGatomon screeched in rage, turning her hovercraft to charge at the duo, the twin drills spinning to try and gore them, only for Undyne to shift her weight to one side, the hovercraft barely missing them!

"Turn us around!" Adrian yelled, Undyne managing to do so, the soldier taking aim with his laser rifle and opening fire, blasting armorplate off the backside of BlackGatomon's hovercraft! The evil cat turned around and charged at them again... "Cut the thrust for a few seconds!" This Undyne did, the two dropping and causing the drill mobile to pass right over them, Adrian firing on the underside and blasting more armor away!

"Damn you!" BlackGatomon yelled as she turned the drills downward and dropped after them. But Undyne re-engaged the jetpack and flew away in a burst of speed, before turning and letting Adrian aim again, this time managing to blow off one of the drills!

"I don't think I can hold you much longer...!" Undyne grunted, her face straining with exertion!

"Let's get to the ground then! Hurry!" Adrian ordered, the fish monster cutting off the jetpack and letting them fall for a bit, before turning it back on just in time to arrest their decent and land safely. BlackGatomon charged down at them, but Undyne let go, the lessened weight causing her to fly back up into the air, resulting in the drill mobile flying between the duo and plowing into the ground! Adrian quickly took advantage, blasting the craft with his rifle until it was little more than a sparking pile of scrap metal.

"It's not over yet!" BlackGatomon growled as she disembarked the ruined hovercraft. _"BlackGatomon, Digivolve to... Bastemon!"_ In a flash, she had transformed into her red-haired cat-woman form! "It'll be more satisfying to kill you this way, anyhow!"

"You can try!" Adrian taunted as he tossed his rifle aside and put up his dukes. Bastemon promptly charged in with her claws extended, Adrian blocking her first slash and side-stepping the second, then kicking her in the face! Bastemon then knocked him off his feet with another slash, before jumping on him and trying to pin him to the ground! Adrian managed to shift his body and throw her off, only to get tackled to the ground again!

"Any last words, human?" Bastemon grinned savagely with her claws at Adrian's neck.

"How about _your_ last words?!" Undyne yelled as she kicked Bastemon off, before summoning her water spear! "Not that I care for the human, but you _did_ try to kill us both!" Bastemon roared and charged at Undyne, the fish monster deflecting her slashes with her spear, before thrusting and managing to take off the Digimon's face-veil! Undeterred, Bastemon tried to leap on her enemy, only for Undyne to easily flip her over her head! "Please, compared to Asgore, you're nothing!" But then Bastemon whipped her body around, tripping Undyne and sending her to the ground! But before she could press her advantage, she was kicked in the side by Adrian! Hissing, she slashed at the armored soldier, only for him to block and reverse it into a one-arm shoulder throw, slamming her to the ground again! The Digimon broke away, rolling to get some distance, only for Undyne to rush in and slash with her spear, cutting off some hair! But then Bastemon slashed the spear itself, dispersing it with water flying everywhere!

"What a flimsy weapon!" Bastemon taunted as she slashed again, Undyne managing to catch the claw before it could tear her open! "I'll enjoy some fried fish tonight!"

"Oh no you won't!" Undyne shot back as she kicked Bastemon between the legs, causing her to fall to her knees in pain! She then slammed the cat-woman with a uppercut, following with a few strikes to the solar plexus, Adrian then coming in and hitting Bastemon with a roundhouse kick, sending her tumbling away!

Realizing she was nearing her limit, Bastemon backflipped onto a small stone outcropping, before declaring, "The battle is yours this day... but only because I'm not full strength yet! Mark my words, Red Grizzly, I _will_ have my revenge!" With that, she turned tail and fled, putting her feline speed to good use!

"Yeah, you _better_ run!" Undyne taunted after her. "Fried fish my fin! Oh-hohohoho!"

"Nice work," Adrian sighed in relief, pulling off his helmet. "That's two I owe you, monster or not..."

_(Music- 'Panic Puppet Zone Act 1- Genesis ver.', Sonic 3D Blast)_

"...So, what's the deal with you and that cat, anyway?" Undyne turned to face him. So Adrian gave a quick explanation... "Wait, you're part of one of those superhero sentai teams?!"

"Not exactly super, but yeah," Adrian put a hand behind his head. "I'm just one of the army's best soldiers... anyway, I was concerned about my goddess getting too lazy, so that's why I joined this villain team, to give her a wake-up call..."

"Guess that didn't work out too well for you," Undyne deadpanned. "So what are you gonna do now, Red Grizzly?"

"Well..." Adrian looked up, Undyne following his lead, seeing the AffimaX airship flying above them. "Hope the radio still works on that thing..." Donning his helmet again, he activated the radio uplink. "Adrian to airship! Adrian to airship! Lady Neptune, Lady Vert, do you copy?"

"Uh, hello?" Neptune's voice was heard. "Is this thing on?"

"I hear you, Lady Neptune!" Adrian responded. "Do you hear me?"

"We copy," Vert's voice was heard next. "What happened, Adrian?"

"BlackGatomon double-crossed me! If it hadn't been for this friendly fish monster, I wouldn't be breathing right now!"

"Undyne saved you? Rad!" Neptune exclaimed. "Hey, tell her I said hi, okay?"

"Where are you now, Adrian?" Vert asked.

"I'm right below you," Adrian replied. "Can one of you come down and pick me up?"

"I'll come get ya! I've still got HDD in reserve!" Neptune agreed.

"On the condition that you tell us all you know about the House of Humiliation," Vert stated. "If Lilithmon's made her move, we have to neutralize the other villains with all due speed..."

"...copy that, Lady Vert," Adrian sighed. "But at least let me give the others a heads-up before you attack the new base..."

"Very well, agreed. See you soon," Vert said, promptly ending the conversation.

"So what's going on?" Undyne asked. Once Adrian told her, she requested, "Well, you think Lady Neptune can take me back up the mountain real quick? I need to get back up to Alphys so she knows I'm okay..."

"Well, if she knows you, I don't think it'll be a problem," Adrian said with a nod, looking up and watching Purple Heart fly down to them...

_*To be continued...*_

And so ends this mini-arc... But what will the Demon Lord Digimon try next? And will Overlord Momus be prepared for the final confrontation? Stay tuned, and review!


	51. Chapter 50- Chastisements

Wow, 50 chapters already?! I never thought this story would go on for so long...

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 50- Chastisements

_*LASA HQ*_

"Look!" Mikuru pointed to the sky. "Is that an airship approaching?"

"My ship! My baby!" Affimojas cried in joy. "Oh thank the goddesses, literally in this case! I don't want to think about how much money I would have needed to replace that...!"

"Didn't they ever tell you that love of money is the root of all evil-tcha?" Urusei Yatsura shook her head.

"Well, I _was_ a villain once," Affimojas pointed out. "I'm trying to stay on the straight and narrow these days, however..."

"So where'd your ninja partner run off to?" Haruhi inquired.

"Oh, I didn't even realize that he left!" Asseylum said, looking around a bit.

"Well, he IS a ninja," Kyon deadpanned. "Vanishing without a trace is what they do..."

"Actually, he whispered to me that he had to get back to Lastation," Affimojas stated. "Wasn't much else he could do for me, so I let him go..."

"Doesn't he have a girlfriend over there or something?" Haruhi asked.

"Uni, the CPU Candidate, actually," Affimojas nodded in response. "She's the only one who can pick him out when he's hiding..."

"No surprise, seeing as she's a trained sniper," G Gundam nodded. "Anyway, let's get to the landing site..."

So the group made their way over to the runway, watching as the airship set down, a ramp extending from the entrance, Neptune, Peashy, Vert, and Adrian emerging, the latter having shed his armor. Neptune was carrying Uni's laser rifle, while Adrian had a camera in his hands. "Oh, Lady Vert, words cannot express my immense gratitude for what you have done!" Affimojas praised as he approached them... "Oh, and Lady Neptune as well..."

"Yeah, well, P-ko and I did most of the work," Neptune sighed. "Though Vert did bail us out of a bad situation..."

"A true heroine always arrives in the nick of time," Vert stated smugly. "Oh, by the way, Affimojas, I wanted to ask you about this..." she gestured to the camera Adrian was holding.

"I-it's just a camera, Lady Vert," Affimojas' voice wavered slightly. "Nothing wrong with that, is there...?"

"It is when it's a long-range camera designed to take clear shots from long distances," Adrian spoke up. "And I know I saw you pointing this camera at Lady Vert's room in the Basilicom..."

"Wh-what?!" Affimojas jerked back in shock, before something occurred to him. "Wait a minute, that means _you're_ the black-armored soldier to hijacked my ship to begin with! Lady Vert, why is he not under arrest?!"

"Who says he isn't?" Vert replied dispassionately. "However, he's agreed to cooperate fully with us, and I understand his motivation for why he did what he did. After all, what if you had inadvertently snapped a shot of my bodyguard instead? ...who happens to be this man's fiancee." A low piano chord sounded as Affimojas went white with shock.

"Fiancee?!" Mikuru gasped. "But, why would be turn traitor then?!"

"Perhaps he believed his goddess was getting too lazy for his liking," Neon pointed out. "Remember the House of Humiliation's stated objective..."

"Right, to keep the CPUs from getting too complacent," G Gundam nodded.

"So, does anyone have a hammer or something?" Adrian asked.

"I do!" Urusei responded, pulling out a large wooden mallet from seemingly nowhere.

"NO! You can't! Please, I'm begging you!" Affimojas cried in panic.

"Trust me, you're getting off easy," Vert said with no sympathy, standing between the robot and Adrian as he set the camera on the ground...

"First, to get in the proper mood," Urusei muttered to herself, before suddenly screaming, _"DARLING NO BAKA!",_ swinging the mallet down on the camera again and again! "Take that-tcha! And that! And _that!_ That's what you get for being a pervert-tcha!" By the time she was finished, said camera was a small pile of broken metal, plastic and glass.

"Wow, I'd hate to be her darling," Neptune snarked.

_"Noooooooo!"_ Affimojas fell to his knees in despair, his hands clenching in front of his face. "What a waste of money...!"

"Just be glad no one told me to use this hammer on you-tcha!" Urusei chastised as she put said hammer away. "And for the record, Lady Neptune, Darling was only like that in his high school years, when I first met him-tcha..."

"I'll bet he learned better fast," John Smith deadpanned.

"Right, so if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking Generic Soldier #20 into custody now," Vert stated, gently gripping Adrian by the bicep and escorting him off...

"Yeah, we need to get back home ourselves, before Histy gets Pissty," Neptune added. "C'mon, P-ko."

"OK! Bye-bye, aliens!" Peashy waved, she and Neptune promptly transforming and flying off.

"Well, how about we head back to Lastation?" Haruhi suggested. "Maybe those people won't be so xenophobic after meeting Princess Asseylum for themselves... Is that okay, Kyon?"

"I've got no problem with that," John Smith shrugged. "Just as long as I can call my parents when we get there, so they don't have to worry..."

"What's this? The great Ma'nabatea, asking permission from a lowly human?" Urusei teased. "My, I wonder if there's something else going on beneath the surface-tcha..."

"Shut it, Urusei, or you're getting another penalty!" Haruhi shot back, blushing slightly. "I was just wondering if he wanted to go back home to Lowee yet, that's all! Don't read anything into it!"

"I've never seen milady show any romantic interest in an ordinary boy like John Smith," Neon appended. "Of course, there is a first time for everything..." She then cried out in shock as green slime poured over her head from nowhere! "Ptooey! Lady Haruhi, you took that the wrong way!"

"You'll get worse if you bring it up again," Haruhi warned. "Anyway, what does everyone else think?" Getting several answers in the affirmative, she nodded. "Okay, off to Lastation, then!" But then, she saw a large object flying at her, crying out in surprise as she caught the laser rifle in her arms!

"Apologies, but if you're going to Lastation, you should give that back to Uni," Purple Heart called from a distance. "Anyway, farewell!" she said before flying off again.

"Ugh... here, G, you hold onto this," Haruhi sighed, handing the rifle off to G Gundam. "Anyway, off we go!" With that, the group vanished in a flash of light...

_*A short time later, at Peach's apartment...*_

"Adrian almost died?!" Peach gasped after hearing Vert's recounting of what had transpired.

"Indeed, but thanks to help from some monsters Neptune befriended, he survived," Vert nodded. "After driving off Bastemon, he contacted us and agreed to surrender and cooperate with us... after all, he did this for my sake, and yours."

"Right..." Peach looked down, biting her lip. "So, where's Adrian now?"

As if on cue, the door opened, Adrian himself walking in, looking contrite. "Hi, Peach..."

Peach got up from the couch, walking up to her fiancee and staring him in the eye... she then heaved a sigh, before slapping him across the face!

"...Ow. Yeah, okay, I deserved that," Adrian grunted, a red welt forming on his cheek.

"Just be thankful Lady Vert vouched for you, or you would have gotten a lot worse," Peach growled. Gently gripping her fiancee's chin, she looked him in the eye again... "Let me put it this way... the wedding's not off, but it IS being pushed back a ways, got it?!"

"Yes, sergeant," Adrian said in reply, taking a step back after Peach released him. "And I promise to never pull a stunt like that again..."

"You better not," Peach nodded curtly. "I think we're done here."

"We'll be going then," Vert nodded, standing and escorting Adrian out... "Thank you for not losing your temper..."

"If I did, I'd be worse than Mom," Peach acknowledged. "At least she had a good reason for hating Dad..."

_*Ho-Hum W-2 Base*_

"Generic Soldier #20 to base! Come in!" Adrian's voice called.

"We copy," MAGES. answered. "I assume things went wrong, seeing as BlackGatomon's power-suppressing collar is no longer transmitting..." So Adrian explained what had happened...

"Soldier #20, are you all right?" Overlord Momus asked after Adrian finished.

"I'm fine, sir, but..." Adrian hesitated. "I'm sorry, but I was left with no choice but to surrender to Lady Vert and Neptune... they allowed me to make this call to you as a courtesy... better prepare for them to come knocking on your door in a few days."

"Shit! He ratted us out?!" Linda cried in disbelief.

"Copy that, Adrian," Momus sighed. "Thanks for the heads-up. We'll make our preparations A-SAP..."

"Alright. Sorry about this... Soldier #20 out," Adrian said, before cutting the connection.

"Crap! The CPUs are coming here-chu?! We just barely got settled in!" Warechu panicked.

"Calm down, I anticipated this would happen sooner or later," Momus stated. "We will make our stand here. Even if the CPUs prevail in the end, we won't go down without a fight!"

"I agree!" Dogoo Man nodded.

"B-but I don't know anything about how t-to fight...!" Tenten squeaked.

"We have no choice, Thief #11. With BlackGatomon's betrayal, our options are severely reduced. That being said..." Momus turned away. "I do have an idea of how to bolster our defenses... I need to make a phone call, excuse me." With that, he retreated to his inner chamber...

_*To be continued...*_

Hmm, I wonder what Momus' idea might be... And what might Bastemon be up to? Until next time, review!


	52. Chapter 51- Lastation Invasion

Well, after being distracted by 'Fate/Kyon's Order', I finally buckled down and got this chapter done!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 51- Lastation Invasion

_*Lastation City Streets*_

_"My fellow citizens of Lastation!"_ An NPC male called over a megaphone, standing on the bed of a truck. _"We have gathered here today to push back against those who do not belong here! I speak of course, of the aliens from the Animenga Cluster!"_ The street-filling crowd cheered in agreement. _"While the House of Humiliation infects our computer systems with viruses, disrupts our outdoor venues with food fights, and even injures our brave police, what are our CPUs doing? Accommodating these extraterrestrials who came in a giant battlecruiser armed to the teeth!"_ The crowds booed at this. _"They claim to come in peace, but their actions belie their words! One alien viciously tortured a group of boys in Planeptune, and for what? Ogling pretty girls?! From what I heard, they kept a respectable distance and did not harass them, yet they were unfairly punished!"_ Another chorus of boos. _"And then their giant robots wreak havoc in Planeptune City, and Neptune doesn't so much as admonish them?! And now they want to come here to our nation?! What do you say to that?!"_

**"NO!"** the crowd cried as one.

_"Do we want these invaders on our soil?!"_

**"NO!"**

_"Do we want them to get off our planet and go back to their galaxy?!"_

**"YEAH!"**_ "Aliens go home! Aliens go home! Aliens go home!"_

"Yare, yare," John Smith grunted at the edge of the crowd, "the xenophobia's gotten even worse since last time..."

"No kidding!" G Gundam nodded grimly. "Good thing some of us are human enough to pass as locals!"

"B-but what if they find out about us?!" Mikuru fretted. "Th-they might lynch us or something!"

"Not on my watch," Haruhi spoke up, having made herself invisible. "But yeah, maybe we should split before any of them recognize one of you..." And so the group departed...

_*Lastation Basilicom*_

"So yeah, we talked to a few of them discreetly, and it seems the general consensus is that all the CPUs, Noire included, have skewed priorities," G Gundam reported to the others.

"Th-they said you shouldn't worry s-so much about your silly costumes, as they put it," Mikuru added.

_"Silly?!_ I put a lot of effort into those costumes!" Noire cried, a vein visible on her forehead. "Argh, this is the _last_ thing we need right now, what with us finally finding out where Ho-Hum's base of operations is...!"

"It's causing a bit of problem with Shares, though," Kei Jinguji pointed out. "We've fallen below Lowee's level for the first time this decade..."

"So Blanc's number one now?!" Noire's eyes shrunk to circles. "I know with her new hybrid console, they'd been catching up lately, but...!"

"So what are we going to do about this?" Uni asked from nearby, cleaning her reacquired laser rifle. "How do we convince the people that the aliens aren't here to conquer us?"

"I wish I had an idea... somehow I don't think a press conference is going to work this time," Asseylum sighed.

"Maybe you should just give them what they want," John Smith snarked, "have your ship come down and abduct Lady Noire and the others go to her rescue..."

"..._That's it!_ You're brilliant, Kyon!" Haruhi exclaimed.

"Huh?!" John grunted in disbelief. "Wait, I was joking!"

"No, it's perfect! We'll go all evil and pretend to torture Noire, and then subvert expectations at the last moment!" Haruhi proclaimed, rubbing her hands in glee.

"Um, I don't think I could do evil very well..." Asseylum shook her head.

"M-me neither!" Mikuru agreed.

"Well, we can leave you out then, Mikuru," Haruhi nodded. "As for Princess, we'll just limit her performance to one or two lines... So, Noire, seeing as you're the costume expert, how should we style ourselves so that we look 'evil'?"

"Um, well, dark colors, for one," Noire stammered, "(ahem) and maybe some bizarre architecture, since you're, you know,_ aliens..._ probably form-fitting body suits, something with spikes on the shoulders for the princess... And maybe we could bring in Wing Gundam in Mikuru's place!"

"I dunno if he'll want to go along with this..." G Gundam sighed.

"We'll just limit him to a minor role, then," Haruhi stated. "Now then, here's what we'll do..."

_*A short while later...*_

"Hey, what's that in the sky?" an NPC pointed upward.

"It's a bird!" "It's a plane!" "No, it's... a spaceship?!"

"It's the alien spaceship! They're coming to get us!" The crowds cried out in fear as the _Deucalion_ descended over them, it's large shape blocking out the sun!

"Everyone stay calm!" The crowd turned to see Noire herself standing on the sidewalk. "I'm sure there's a rational explanation for this, so don't panic!" Just then, a female figure was seen descending from the battlecruiser... "Urusei Yatsura!" Noire cried as the figure became recognizable, albeit wearing a black variation of her battle bikini with spiked shoulders. "What's going on?"

"Oh, not much-tcha..." Urusei chuckled, "Just THIS! _DIVINE RETRIBUTION!"_ The crowd cried out in horror as Noire was struck down by lightning! Floating down to the frizzed and fallen CPU she then chuckled, "And now, you'll be coming with me!" A few NPCs tried to rush in to help, only to get zapped as well! Urusei then picked up Noire in her arms, flying back up to the ship! Not long after, a holo-screen was projected from the _Deucalion..._

"Hello, all you puny Gamindustrians!" Haruhi greeted, dressed in a shiny black dress with opera gloves, cut to show off her cleavage. A black tiara sat atop her head, her headband and hair ribbons also now colored black. "This is your true goddess speaking! In a moment, we'll begin experimenting on your so-called CPU!" A cry of horror arose from the crowd! Haruhi then stepped away, revealing Noire laying on a metal operating table, stripped down to her bra and panties, her hands and feet restrained by laser-shackles! Bizzare architecture jutted from the ceiling, though not low enough for anyone to hit their heads on.

"The subject is secure," Neon stated as she walked up in her true form, albeit clothed in a black bodysuit. She made sure to turn her head toward the cameras, letting the audience see all seven of her eyes, causing a few to cry out in fear at her appearance.

The camera then panned to Wing Gundam, dressed in a military uniform reminiscent of the Nazi enforcers from WWII. "Your Highness, we are ready to proceed!" he saluted, the camera moving to show Princess Asseylum. She was dressed in a black variation of her usual dress, with small spikes on the shoulders and a bulky black visor on her face!

"Excellent. Commence the torture," Asseylum said in monotone. One of the pieces of ceiling architecture then opened, revealing a laser node! Two panels opened on Noire's sides, two red tentacles, emerging, covered in slime!

"No! NOOOO!" Noire looked from side to side, struggling helplessly as the laser node extended downward... "Someone help meeeeee!"

"Lady Noire!" the crowds cried in horror.

"3, 2, 1," Wing counted down, pressing a button, the laser shooting into Noire's belly!

Noire's eyes went wide, her face twisting and grimacing...

"...Pfffffaahahaha_HAHAHAHAHA!"_ She suddenly started laughing! "Not the tickle-laser! _Anything but the tickle-laser!"_ The tentacles then started tickling the CPU under her armpits, causing her to dissolve completely into laughing fits, thrashing about helplessly! "AHAHAHAHA- Stop, _please! I'm gonna peeeeeee!"_

"Confirmed, Lastation's CPU is quite ticklish," Neon stated in monotone. "Now to experiment on the other- huh?" She looked up, the camera whipping around to a steel door which suddenly exploded! Emerging from the dust were none other than Uni, K-Sha, and Kei Jinguji, all packing heat!

"STOP RIGHT THERE! Uni and friends, to the rescue!" the CPU Candidate declared, the crowds cheering at the calvary's arrival!

"You fools, GET THEM!" Asseylum pointed, Wing drawing his gun, only for Uni to fire in his face! There was a brief flash of orange as Wing doubled over with his hands over his face...

"You will not- GAH!" Neon cried as K-Sha opened fire, her bodysuit suddenly gaining several orange splotches! "Paintballs?!" She then screamed as several paintballs hit her in the face! "My eyes, my seven eyes! **The pain!"** she wailed as she collapsed to the ground.

"My visor! I can't see!" Asseylum cried as Uni shot her with paintballs as well! With the path clear, Kei rushed in, using her paintball handgun to block the laser node, before drawing her rapier and chopping off the tentacles tickling Noire, the stumps swiftly retreating!

"You idiots!" Haruhi yelled in frustration. "Must I do everything myse- _aaghh!"_ She screamed as K-Sha nailed her with a paint-bazooka, her black dress now half-orange! The people on the streets laughed aloud at the sight! "Stop laughing! It's not funny!" she yelled at the camera.

"Lady Noire, snap out of it!" Kei asserted as she smacked the CPU a few times on her stomach, the pain causing her giggles to subside. "Transform and free yourself!"

"Transform...? Oh yeah, why didn't I think of that?" Noire half-snarked, before being engulfed in light as she transformed to HDD, freeing herself from her restraints in the process! The crowd cheered as Black Heart appeared from the light, summoning her sword! "Now, it's payback time!"

"Aw, snap! Neon, DO SOMETHING!" Haruhi cried in near panic as the CPU charged at her... suddenly the picture cut out, the holo-screen vanishing as an explosion emanated from the _Deucalion's_ lower hull! Two objects were seen falling from said explosion, soon revealed to be Haruhi and Black Heart, the former frantically dodging the the latter's sword swings!

"Everyone,_ get back!"_ Noire ordered, the crowds parting to make space for the combatants... but then Black Heart was blasted from behind by Neon's eye-lasers, the angelic alien flying in to protect her goddess! Fortunately Black Sister and Gold Form K-Sha were soon seen flying in behind her, the CPU Candidate opening fire with her real rifle, Neon blocking it with her hexagon-shield!

"That won't work, we need a kinetic impact!" K-Sha cried.

"It is futile," Neon said as she unleashed her eye-lasers at the duo, who barely dodged! "Nothing can break through my AT-field..."

"Are you sure about that?" K-Sha asked with a smirk. It was at this point that Neon realized K-Sha's weapons apparatus was missing, looking up just in time to see it slam into her, falling down and smashing into the pavement, the civilians backing away from the point of impact!

When the dust settled, Neon was lying prone in a small impact crater, swirls in six of her seven eyes! "I stand... corrected..."

"Damn it to hell!" Haruhi cursed as she fired hand blasts to keep her adversaries off her! "You might've got Neon with a cheap shot, but I'm stronger than all of you put together!"

"We'll see about that!" Black Heart taunted, raising an arm to the sky... _"I call upon the power of the Hyper Share Crystal! Access NEXT Form!"_

"Oh no you don't!" Haruhi cried as she charged in to attack, easily blasting K-Sha and Uni aside when they tried to intercept! Going in for a double-footed kick, she was surprised as NEXT Black's armored gauntlet easily blocked the attack! "Huh?! Hey, what happened to your transformation sequence?!"

"That's just fan-service for the players and readers!" NEXT Black grinned knowingly. "We can transform instantly if we have to! You think we'd be stupid enough to let an enemy take advantage of that trope?"

"Curse your genre-savviness!" Haruhi yelled in frustration as she lashed out with several lightning-fast kicks, all of them blocked! Then Black Sister and K-Sha body-slammed her simultaneously, causing her to smash into the pavement beside Neon! "Argh! You can't beat me that easily!" she growled as she pulled herself back up.

"In that case... it's EXE Drive time!" NEXT Black declared, glowing with power... _"INFINITE SLASH!"_ The CPU promptly hit the alien goddess with a dozen laser blade slashes from multiple directions!

"...Hah! That didn't effect me!" Haruhi exclaimed triumphantly, showing no visible wounds!

"Are you sure about that?" NEXT Black smiled... suddenly, Haruhi's paint-stained dress and gloves split off her body, leaving the alien in nothing but her panties!

_"AAAHHHHH! I'm naked!"_ Haruhi cried as she fell to her knees, covering her bare chest with crossed arms, her face turning beet-red. _"No faaaaiiiirr!"_

"All's fair in love and war, alien," NEXT Black smiled haughtily. "You lose."

"Not yet-cha!" Urusei Yatsura cried as she flew down from the_ Deucalion,_ her hair and horns sparking menacingly! _"DIVINE..."_ But then K-Sha's weapons apparatus smashed her into the pavement as well! "...retribution." Said appartus sparked from Urusei's discharge, before exploding in a large fireball, leaving the elder alien covered in soot and utterly defeated.

"Mission accomplished, Noire!" K-Sha saluted as her transformation reverted.

"Good work, K-Sha," Noire nodded as she reverted to her normal HDD form.

"Yep, that'll show these aliens!" Black Sister said with a grin... only to catch something out of the corner of her eye, turning and aiming her rifle at a hover-platform that descended from the battlecruiser! Asseylum, Wing Gundam and Kei were standing aboard, the former waving an improvised white flag.

As the hover platform touched down, Asseylum removed her paint-covered visor... "Um... is it too late to negotiate terms of surrender?"

"Not at all," Black Heart replied. "But first... that dress needs to go!" She slashed once with her sword, the crowd gasping as Asseylum's black dress split apart... revealing a T-shirt, light brown vest and matching shorts underneath! "Much better! See, Haruhi? You should have worn something more bulky that you could hide some extra clothes underneath, then you wouldn't have been defeated by modesty!" A rumble of laughter echoed from the crowds!

"Hey, YOU were the one that designed that dress for me in the first place!" Haruhi protested, waving a hand over herself, restoring her high-school sailor uniform, her headband and ribbons reverting to their original yellow color, the black tiara vanishing. "You didn't tell me you were gonna pull a stunt like that!"

"Shhh! No, quiet! You can't just give away the game like that!" Black Heart faux-whispered in feigned panic.

"Forget it, Noire, I think everyone here realizes now this whole scene was just an act," Black Sister sighed, resting her gun on her shoulder.

"As if the paintball guns didn't make that obvious from the outset," Kei snarked.

"Or the tickle-torture," K-Sha piled on, provoking light laughter from the civilians.

"Well, my father may be an intergalactic conqueror, but I'm afraid I don't do intimidation very well," Asseylum shrugged with an apologetic smile.

"Honestly, me neither," Haruhi sighed. "I usually leave that sort of thing to my Oracle..."

"Indeed," Neon grunted as she got back up, her extra eyes and wings vanishing. "Milady, can you restore my clothes as well?" One finger-snap later, she was back in her (clean) normal outfit. "Thank you."

"Welcome. So then," she turned to look at the crowd, "I hope this performance helps set your minds a little more at ease about us! After all, if we were seriously gonna conquer you guys, we wouldn't do something half-cocked like this! And we wouldn't be defeated with paint, either!" Laughter rumbled from the crowd. "I'll take that to mean you enjoyed this performance! Take a bow, everyone! And shout-out to Noire for coming up with our _evil_ costumes!"

Applause echoed from the crowds as the entire group bowed...

_*To be continued...*_

Kind of a silly filler episode, wasn't it? :-P But next chapter portends the beginning of the end for the House of Humiliation... until then, review!


	53. Chapter 52- Preparations

Short chapter to set things up for the endgame...

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 52- Preparations

"So lemme get this straight, you staged a fake invasion and turned it into a comedy act so Noire's people would get over their xenophobia?!" Neptune gasped incredulously over the conference call.

"Yep!" Haruhi confirmed with a grin. "The crowds seemed to get a good laugh out of it, anyway!"

"Hopefully, it'll tamp down the protests a bit, if nothing else," Noire said. "Anyway, Blanc, do you know anything about Ho-Hum's new base of operations?"

"It's an abandoned fortress in the coldest region of Lowee, literally built into the side of a mountain," Blanc expounded. "It was meant as a last-stand stronghold in case ASIC completely conquered Lowee... Obviously, it became unnecessary after Arfoire's final defeat."

"The enemy would have the height advantage if anyone tried a frontal charge," Vert observed. "When we attack, we should try coming in from the air if we can..."

"And we want to try and take them alive," Noire added. "These guys are just well-intentioned extremists, after all, save the Demon Lord who double-crossed them..."

"I'm having Cybercrime scan the Leanbox network for any signs of Infermon or Bastemon," Vert supplied. "They will let me or Chika know right away if they detect them anywhere..."

"Betcha they're long gone outta Leanbox by now," Neptune said. "Iffy says she's got the guild scanning the dark web in our neck of the woods, too... speaking of which, Iffy's gonna be joining us on the base raid, to make sure any bad guys who try to run don't get far..."

"Good thinking, we don't want those bastards escaping us again," Blanc nodded in agreement. "So is it just gonna be us and our sisters this time?"

"That's what I was thinking," Noire agreed.

"I'm coming too!" Haruhi suddenly declared.

"HUH?!" the CPUs gasped in unison.

"Wait, what happened to letting us handle this ourselves?!" Vert protested.

"Hey, hey, I'm just coming to observe and stuff. I'll leave the major fighting and junk to you guys," Haruhi assured her. "I'm just gonna make sure no one gets seriously hurt or killed..."

"...well, I suppose that's fine," Vert acquiesced. "As long as that's all you do..."

"Hey, speaking of which, seeing as Tenten Ryghts is a wanted felon in your country, you gonna extra-night her or something?" Neptune queried.

"The term is 'extradite', Neptune," Blanc sighed. "Actually, speaking of Tenten, I had an idea on how to make her surrender without a fight... after all, she has a sister as well..."

"Um, yeah, as long as said sister doesn't reduce her to a burn spot on the ground," Neptune said with a sweat-drop...

"I highly doubt that will occur, from what I witnessed between them," Vert pointed out. "So when will we make our move?"

"How about high noon tomorrow?" Noire suggested. "They wouldn't expect us attacking them in broad daylight!"

"Ooh, a blitzkrieg from the air! I approve!" Neptune agreed giddily.

"Right, we'll blast their outer defenses from the air straightaway," Blanc also concurred. "Hit them hard and fast!"

"I suggest we use long-range attacks first before flying down," Vert stated. "Uni with her rifle, Neptune with her jet-fighter form, Rom and Ram with their ice magic, and myself with my Inbetween Spear Technique."

"Sounds like a plan," Neptune nodded. "Okay, airstrike on Ho-Hum's base at noon tomorrow! And Haruhi can get us all teleported there, so none of us have to wait in the freezing mountain air for long!"

"No problem," Haruhi agreed. "Oh, and just so you know, I used my powers to stop anyone from jacking into the call, so the enemy doesn't find out our plans!"

"Wow, good thinking," Noire complimented. "Alright, I'll get Uni and make sure our weapons are ready for tomorrow!"

The other goddesses spoke similarly before signing off...

_*Meanwhile, in Lastation's cyberspace...*_

"That's right, my child, devour to your heart's content!" Bastemon said as she watched Infermon feast. "Heh, can't believe we didn't think of this sooner... who would imagine a virus eating the backed-up data instead of the active data?"

"Ummm!" Infermon grunted happily as it continued to chow down... but then it stopped, beginning to glow... "I feel it... I feel the power! _Haaaaaa!"_ The virus Digimon was promptly engulfed in light as it digivolved to it's final form!

"Yes!" Bastemon hopped once in glee. "At long last, you have become... _Diaboromon!"_

"Indeed, I have," her fellow Digimon said as the glow faded, looking completely different from before. It sat haunched on tan-brown legs with sharp talons, it's cheat and head covered in blue armor, the shoulders pointed, a green crystal in it's chest, long spike protruding from it's back. It's arms were long and thin, but the hands were equipped with long red claws. Yellow orange hair grew from under it's horned 'helmet', it's eyes yellow with black pupils. "Yes... I have ascended to the realm of the gods!"

"Which reminds me, I haven't recovered my Mega form yet," Bastemon lamented with crossed arms.

"I have excess energy, mother," Diaboromon said as it approached. "Allow me to share it with you..." It placed a hand on Bastemon's torso, the feline gasping as energy flowed into her body... Soon, she began to glow too, transforming into her familiar geisha-succubus form!

"Oh, _yes,"_ Lilithmon breathed out, quaking as if in ecstasy. "Thank you, child, I needed that." She flapped her wings and flexed the claw on her right arm a bit... "Still, I don't think we're quite ready to take on the CPUs ourselves quite yet... We should lay low for now and wait for an opportunity."

"As you will, mother," Diaboromon bowed to her in deference.

_*To be continued...*_

Uh-oh, Lilithmon has returned, and Diaboromon is here! Who knows what they'll do while the CPUs confront Ho-Hum... Stay tuned!


	54. Chapter 53- Knocking On The Door

It's the beginning of the endgame...

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 53- Knocking On The Door

_*Ho-Hum W-2 Base, Front Entrance*_

"Ugh..." Tenten Ryghts shivered from the cold as she stood guard outside the base entrance, which was situated at the top of a flight of stairs hewn from the rock. Several automated turrets lined the wall on either side, courtesy of MAGES.' genius, making the thief and her current firearm- the Berretta 93R she'd stolen from Uni's vault- feel inadequate in comparison.

"W-why d-did I have t-to be the one t-to d-draw the short s-stick..." She grunted through chattering teeth. Even the fur coat from one of Noire's cosplay costumes wasn't helping much with the freezing temperatures, though the sun peeked through the clouds on occasion... Just then, Tenten heard something up above... (Is that a jet...?) Looking up, she saw a dark jet-plane streaking above... suddenly two missiles fired from its wings, which then spawned four more missiles each, all of them screaming down to Tenten's location!

_"Eeeeeeekk!"_ The blue-haired thief screamed as she threw herself to the ground, the missiles destroying several of the turrets! The surviving guns opened fire, but jet was too fast for them to track! Several pointed green energy projectiles then rained down on the turrets, as well as an_ EX Multi Blaster! "Ahhh!_ I have to tell Overlord- _Eeeep!"_ She cried as the door into the base was frozen solid before she could run inside! She tried to escape down the stairs, only for another ice crystal to block her path!

_"TENTEN RYGHTS!"_ a familiar voice shouted, Tenten looking up, going white as a sheet as none other than Rei Ryghts in HDD form descended from the sky! "Drop that gun, worm! NOW!"

_"Ahhhhhh!_ Okay okay, I surrender!" Tenten squeaked as she threw her hand cannon to the ground, then fell to her knees! "I'm so sorry! So very, very sorry! P-please d-don't k-kill meeee...!"

"Idiot. If I _wanted_ to kill you, you wouldn't be breathing right now!" Rei growled as she touched down. Reaching down and grabbing her sister by her horn protrusion, she ordered, "Now tell me, why the hell did you join with these bastards?! You told me you were going to try and stay on the straight and narrow!"

"I-I... " Tenten stuttered, tears starting to stream down her face. "I was s-starting to get c-cabin fever cooped up in th-that jail...! And then you never c-came t-to visit me... when th-that Overlord Momus g-gave me an offer t-to get out, I c-couldn't say no...!"

Rei held her glare for a few seconds, before heaving a sigh. "Much as I hate to admit it... You know, part of the reason I didn't see you is because it's hard for me to get on a flight anywhere with out express written permission from one of the CPUs... everyone's too afraid I'll blow them up in mid-air or something... also, the one time I did have a lull in my legal work, I ended up getting roped into a case in Lastation..." Releasing Tenten's horn, Rei kneeled down to look her clone sister in the eye. "But you know what? That's no damn excuse for forgetting you. I'm sorry, Tenten. I should have made the time somehow."

"Rei..." Tenten tried to wipe her eyes, before abruptly grabbing her sister in a tight embrace, her head pressing into Rei's bosom. Chaos Heart could only heave a sigh as she returned the hug, though her HDD personality inwardly cringed at such an act.

"Nice work, Rei," Vert's voice was heard, "you got her to surrender without a fight." Tenten lifted her head up to see the HDD CPUs and Candidates descending from the sky, with Purple Heart joining them a few seconds later.

"S-so w-what happens t-to me now...?" Tenten asked hesitantly.

"Well, let me ask you honestly," Rei pulled away to look Tenten in the eye again, "did you steal anything here in this nation?"

"I-I... I stole some p-parts t-to get the heater working here..." Tenten responded warily.

"Alright, fine. Then you can stand trial here, and be sentenced to prison much closer to my home, so I can actually come and see you without too much hassle," Rei proposed.

"B-but what about the thefts I did everywhere else?!"

"Well, seeing as this hand cannon was the last thing missing from Uni's vault, we can consider that debt settled," Black Heart said, picking up the gun in question and handing it back to her sister. "Right, Uni?"

"...Fine. But I want a written apology for leaving all my other guns strewn all over the floor!" Black Sister insisted.

"Y-you'll get it," Tenten nodded vigorously.

"Good. As for me... where are the rest of my cosplay costumes?" Black Heart tried to keep her voice even, those there was still an angry undertone to her words.

"I-in a c-closet near the b-back of the b-base. All unharmed!" Tenten insisted. "I o-only wore th-this one t-to p-protect me f-from the c-cold...!"

"Understandable. Alright, if that's the case, then I will not press charges, either," Noire nodded curtly. "As long as that costume you're wearing comes back to me after you're booked."

"I'll take it back with me to my law office," Rei spoke up.

"Well, the only things you stole in my nation were Chika's and Peach's clothes and Armor Morphers, so I suppose I can let those slide as well," Green Heart stated.

"Um, Nepgya kept you from stealing anything, so I got nothing," Nepgear shrugged. "What about you, Neptune? I know you were really upset about your secret pudding stash getting stolen..."

"I'm sorry!" Tenten reflexively blurted out. "B-but we've only eaten about a th-third of all the p-pudding...!"

Purple Heart had her eyes closed in contemplation for a few moments... "Rei, there is something I would like to ask your sister in private..."

"...Alright, fine. But make it snappy," Chaos Heart muttered as she stood up and backed off, Neptune promptly picking up Tenten under the armpits, the two floating down to the foot of the mountain steps...

"I wonder what she wanted to ask her," Vert pondered.

"Probably wants to know how she found the pudding stash," Nepgear suggested. "Not even Histoire knew the exact location, after all..." The CPUs watched as Neptune and Tenten conversed... Though they couldn't hear what was being said, they did see Purple Heart nodding affirmatively. Not long after, she flew Tenten back up to the others.

"Alright, I'm done with her," Neptune stated. "You can take her to the police station now, Rei."

"Good, let's go," Chaos Heart nodded, picking up Tenten in her arms and rising into the sky. "I'll get some pen and paper for you when we get there, so you can start on that apology to Uni straight away, worm."

"A-all right..." Tenten nodded as they flew off together.

Purple Heart watched them go, nodding in satisfaction. "...Well, now that that's done... Nepgear, call Iffy, please."

"Right," Purple Sister nodded as she pulled out her mobile device. "Hello, Iffy, Haruhi? The entrance is secure, so you can come here anytime!" Soon enough, Haruhi and IF appeared by the frozen door.

"Nice work taking out the defenses," IF observed. "But how are we gonna get past the door?"

"We only did that to keep Tenten from escaping..." White Sister Blue pointed out.

"Right, and if we froze it, we can melt it!" White Sister Pink asserted, her wand lighting up with fire. "Help me out here, Rom!"

"Okay, Ram!" Rom nodded, the two going to work on the door with their fire magic...

_*Inside the base...*_

"The CPUs are here, chu!" Warechu cried as he ran in, stopping before Overlord Momus. "They blew up all our guns and caught Tenten, chu!"

"No surprise there," Momus mused. "Are the other members in position?"

"Yep! Dogoo Man and our newest recruit are waitin' just inside, chu!"

"Where did you find someone like _her,_ though?" Linda questioned.

"It's a long story," Momus shook his horned head. "But she should prove to be more than adequate to oppose the CPUs..."

"Hopefully not too much," Linda grumbled. "I want my shot at them, too!"

"Well, for now, let's see what happens," Momus said as he brought up several holo-screens, showing the Ho-Hum members ready and waiting in separate rooms for their adversaries...

_*To be continued...*_

Hmm, I wonder who this new recruit is? Well, you'll find out next time! ;-)


End file.
